Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi ladies, I'm getting my ears pierced this week.  What do you recommend for a style?  I prefer small, but loops, studs, clasps, other?  What do you think would look best to frame this ugly mug?  I typically wear ladies skinny jeans, tshirts and hoodies or Jean jacket if that helps.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on October 31, 2017, 10:28:46 AM
Hi ladies, I'm getting my ears pierced this week.  What do you recommend for a style?  I prefer small, but loops, studs, clasps, other?  What do you think would look best to frame this ugly mug?  I typically wear ladies skinny jeans, tshirts and hoodies or Jean jacket if that helps.

Bari Jo

Studs are easiest to deal with. Don't go to small at the beginning since you need to let the wound heals and being small it might poke through like mine (the upper one) did. (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171031/879dbacf764fe3061124994e0a3dcf2c.jpg)

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Studs/barbells because you have to leave them in 24/7 for a while. Either stainless balls or small pho-diamond studs work best because you have to be able to sleep in them.

Studs, definitely. Your piercer is bound to have several to choose from. Lower maintenance, and they tug on the tissue less.

I'd stay inexpensive because you may discover an allergy or some similar surprise.

Like jfong says, don't try to make it tiny for practical reasons. Besides, what's the fun if no one can see them? 

  I have a pair of small CZ hearts I wear every day and usually just leave in. These studs are the ones I would use for new piercings. I have 2 pairs or piercings and use the lower set for larger  earrings like dangles or hoops. You might consider  a second set Bari Jo.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on October 31, 2017, 12:03:47 PM
  I have a pair of small CZ hearts I wear every day and usually just leave in. These studs are the ones I would use for new piercings. I have 2 pairs or piercings and use the lower set for larger  earrings like dangles or hoops. You might consider  a second set Bari Jo.

Hugs,
   Laurie

That's interesting.  I hadn't considered two sets.  Since I'm not presenting yet, I wonder if a second set is too much...

Bari Jo

I've had 2 sets for many years Bari Jo.  I can say most people won't even notice pierced ears without an earring in them. If you want 2 set my recommendation is to get one set done and healed before getting the second set done. That way you wouldn't be wearing 2 sets at the same time.

  Back when I did my first set earrings on guys was not something you saw except on the fringes of society. In order to keep something in the holes I fashioned 2 short pieces of a large paper clip just long enough to fit through my ears. All anyone could see was the end of the piece.  Not recommended as many things could have gone wrong, but it worked for me. You might as if there is an "Invisible" starter stud if it is a concern for you. Yes there is such a thing.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Anything you like, as long as you sleep with the starter studs in.

Laurie, they also have those transparent plastic stud for times that you don't want to show earrings. It is less noticeable than regular earrings and kind of sit flush with your skin from the front view.(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171031/eb56442cb673f60131845d8e14285c55.jpg)

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Quote from: Bari Jo on October 31, 2017, 10:28:46 AM
Hi ladies, I'm getting my ears pierced this week.  What do you recommend for a style?  I prefer small, but loops, studs, clasps, other?

Hi Bari Jo,

My wife and I got ours pierced about two weeks ago. We both got small studs, mine in "white gold", hers in gold. They have to be left in 24/7 for at least four weeks. Twice a day they have to be cleaned and disinfected, rotated, and moved in and out without taking them out. Something small that doesn't snag on anything and you can stand sleeping on is what I'd recommend.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171031/3c54a19d9b8ed835292e254b3d5c34c5.jpg)

I don't know how you plan to be presenting when you do it, but be prepared to fill out liability paperwork. I was presenting female and had to give her my male drivers license, and it got a little awkward. Story here:  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,228563.msg2039013.html#msg2039013 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,228563.msg2039013.html#msg2039013)

Have fun!

Steph

Now that Laurie mentioned two pierces I want that.  I think I'll have to be happy with the singles for a while though.  I don't think I'll have a problem for a while.  I want to be as passable as possible, but it seems a long way away right now.

Bari Jo

Whoever does your piercing will offer you studs to keep in 24/7 for the first few weeks.  After that, I'd suggest a silver stud for daily wear.  Nothing makes me feel femme like getting a glimpse of myself in the mirror with those in.  The interesting thing is that I wore them for months in male mode and no one commented.

Studs for me as work wise it would be iffy (car mechanic) but have been wearing them since April in male mode and now have a good selection , blue stars at the moment. Dangle ones for when I do get to do full girl. Best to have gold or gold plated studs to start as less chance of reaction. Got mine done at a Claire's.

I'm thinking silver or white gold for my coloring.  Getting giddy thinking about this!

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on October 31, 2017, 04:24:52 PM
I'm thinking silver or white gold for my coloring.  Getting giddy thinking about this!

Bari Jo

White gold, less reactant. Silver it might  get dark with some substance or even things from your body (blood, puss, etc)

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Safety pins! :D

Quote from: Allie24 on October 31, 2017, 10:49:46 PM
Safety pins! :D

That brings back memories. I did my first one myself, with a big-ass hypodermic needle.

Don't ask.

Quote from: Natsuki Kuga on October 31, 2017, 11:00:52 PM
That brings back memories. I did my first one myself, with a big-ass hypodermic needle.

Don't ask.

I pierced my ear with one sophomore year of high school lol and I currently wear them in my ears now because I love them so much!

I'll up vote the stainless steel studs for the first ones.
You need to leave them in and applying the cleaner solution is easy with the stud type. I used self piercing ones from Walmart and did them myself. The ear lobes seem to take a while to settle in. I now wear small hoops of silver.
I recently found my original piercing ones and did the left side helix. The helix seems to only need a week to calm down from the pierce and quit hurting or swelling. My ear lobes took more like 8 weeks.

 I prefer to wear earrings that dangle as they compliment my face shape, also to me they look more feminine than studs.  As far as color my go to is silver it looks better with my skin tone.
Knowing your face shape and skin tone will help you find jewelry that works for you.

Quote from: Allie24 on October 31, 2017, 10:49:46 PM
Safety pins! :D

LOL!  Back in the ancient days (late 80's), multiple piercings were the ****.  My parents wouldn't let me get a cartilage piercing, so I did it with a safety pin.  No problems for me, but then my sister did the same thing and ended up with a keloid that had to be surgically removed.  So be careful out there, kids!

Go for studs in the beginning, let your holes heal properly. then experiment. I personally love hoop earrings, the bigger the hoop the better..

Thanks all, im going Friday for the piercings.  Of course saturday im flying to japan for business.  It will be interesting to see what my japanese counterparts think.  I will get a set of the clear studs in case im breaking local dress codes.

Bari Jo

I would hold off on piercings then.  I tried swapping mine out a couple days after getting pierced and that was a BAD idea.  Since the hole hadn't healed yet I had to go fishing for the other side and that was quite uncomfortable.

Anyway I went with basic white gold studs
(https://i.imgur.com/wtL1NLF.jpg)

You can get the same effect for clip ons. Shipwreck Beads has the largest selection of jewelry components. You can make your own, The clips I bought have an attachment ring and can accommodate hanging the danglies from your wire hooks. I am on blood thinners and cannot get my ears pierced, so these work very nicely.  I don't have danglies to attach to them yet but you can see the little ring on the side to hang them on.

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on November 02, 2017, 06:43:24 PM
I would hold off on piercings then.  I tried swapping mine out a couple days after getting pierced and that was a BAD idea.  Since the hole hadn't healed yet I had to go fishing for the other side and that was quite uncomfortable.

Anyway I went with basic white gold studs
(https://i.imgur.com/wtL1NLF.jpg)

I cant hold off.  I think you saw in my other doubt thread, im having a patch right now.  I need to move forward. If i hold off im afraid of my mental state and what decisions are made.  Onward and forward, i hope:)

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on November 02, 2017, 09:58:04 AM
Thanks all, im going Friday for the piercings.  Of course saturday im flying to japan for business.  It will be interesting to see what my japanese counterparts think.  I will get a set of the clear studs in case im breaking local dress codes.

Bari Jo

You can't change your earrings after you get them done.  Whatever they put in at the piercing place, that's what you have to wear for however many weeks they tell you.  If you want the clear ones, have them put in when you get the piercing done.  You have to wear them 24/7, and that does not mean 23:59/7.

Quote from: KathyLauren on November 02, 2017, 08:00:36 PM
You can't change your earrings after you get them done.  Whatever they put in at the piercing place, that's what you have to wear for however many weeks they tell you.  If you want the clear ones, have them put in when you get the piercing done.  You have to wear them 24/7, and that does not mean 23:59/7.

This is not quite true. They can be taken out and replaced but it is not advisable due to possible problems it could cause. I did my own 2nd set and took the earrings in and out many times. Getting them back in can be a problem as is the added chance of infection. I am also pretty sure it took longer to heal. But it can be done. I was careful to sterilize things before putting them in and kept my ears clean and disinfected. But as I said it is best to just leave them in if you can.

Quote from: KathyLauren on November 02, 2017, 08:00:36 PM
You can't change your earrings after you get them done.  Whatever they put in at the piercing place, that's what you have to wear for however many weeks they tell you.  If you want the clear ones, have them put in when you get the piercing done.  You have to wear them 24/7, and that does not mean 23:59/7.

I will gamble that it will be fine with the white gold studs.  If it isnt i will swap out the studs for the clear ones and have a very uncomfortable swap.  I know you arent supposed to do this.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on November 02, 2017, 09:58:04 AM
Thanks all, im going Friday for the piercings.  Of course saturday im flying to japan for business.  It will be interesting to see what my japanese counterparts think.  I will get a set of the clear studs in case im breaking local dress codes.

Bari Jo

Getting infected in foreign county is not fun. Won't recommend doing the piercing just before you go abroad.

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Quote from: Bari Jo on November 02, 2017, 08:20:10 PM
I will gamble that it will be fine with the white gold studs.  If it isnt i will swap out the studs for the clear ones and have a very uncomfortable swap.  I know you arent supposed to do this.

Bari Jo

Yellow gold might actually blend in with skin tone better for you. The white gold ones stand out a lot more than I expected, but if you don't mind then go for it.

Quote from: Laurie on November 02, 2017, 08:18:32 PM
This is not quite true. They can be taken out and replaced but it is not advisable due to possible problems it could cause. I did my own 2nd set and took the earrings in and out many times. Getting them back in can be a problem as is the added chance of infection. I am also pretty sure it took longer to heal. But it can be done. I was careful to sterilize things before putting them in and kept my ears clean and disinfected. But as I said it is best to just leave them in if you can.

I agree this is not entirely true, though still is what is recommended. I had my left ear pierced when I was a teenager and my boss made me take it out after he noticed it. I put it back in after work, and then just took it off and put in my pocket when I went to work. I'd put it in during my lunch break sometimes. This was only a part time job though, usually not more than 7 hours a day, and close to 30 hours a week. That piercing never closed up or got infected, I even went a few years since then not wearing an earring ever and it still didn't close up.

Pierced the other one myself to match about a year ago. Don't recommend this, but at least I think I'm done with new piercings. I really like just having each ear pierced once. That's what a lot of cis women have.

I mostly wear studs, though sometimes I like dangly earrings. Even did back when I just had the one.

Actual pierced ears are a great sort of right of passage in terms of commitment for us.  Had mine done at Claires, the girl that did them was really nice and no issues being kind of guy at the time.  No one even gives me a second look, they're so common in all male castes these days.  I went with SS balls, the largest I could choose from because you won't believe how difficult they are to grasp and move about as required, in my case 3 weeks with the "fast heal slightly more expensive" solution they give you.  FWIW before that I used a hoop that you can get at Claire's that has the top rear portion of the hoop internally sprung so it slides back into the hoop and then springs out to lock onto the back side of your earlobe.  Absolutely undetectable from real pierced ear hoops and hang on like hell.  Ingenious design and inexpensive.  Toni

Quote from: Toni on November 03, 2017, 02:30:06 PM
Actual pierced ears are a great sort of right of passage in terms of commitment for us.  Had mine done at Claires.

I just had mine done at claires.  I guess i am committed now:).  I got 3 mm, white gold with bezels.  Literally the instant i walked out of the store i ran into people i knew.  I just owned the new pierces, said i loved them!

Bari Jo

One might think clip-on earrings are a great idea for beginners, if you don't mind losing them when they fall off. Small studs are better. I have 3 studs in each ear. They are very low maintenance, and since they are "piercing studs", I don't worry about the clips falling off, and the earrings getting lost.
Sally's Beauty Supply sells do-it-yourself piercing kits that make it quite easy. If you don't think you can do it, have a friend or family member help out.

Ill add one more note.  Im noticing this morning thay the earings are not totally symettrical.  Probably most people wouldnt notice it, but this kind of thing is my job.  So now i cant wait to get the second pierce in each ear to add visual confusion as to location of the pierces.

Bari Jo

Mine are also a little asymmetric but nobody seems to notice but me.

Quote from: Bari Jo on October 31, 2017, 10:28:46 AM
Hi ladies, I'm getting my ears pierced this week.  What do you recommend for a style?  I prefer small, but loops, studs, clasps, other?  What do you think would look best to frame this ugly mug?  I typically wear ladies skinny jeans, tshirts and hoodies or Jean jacket if that helps.

Bari Jo

As a general rule, whatever they pierce them with originally, usually a small stainless steel stud, (still kinda cute and would prob look good on you) I would leave in for 2-4 weeks for most of the initial healing to have happened before changing to any other sort of jewelry. I also advocate for hollow needle piercing over the gun. *cringe.* So much tissue trauma with the gun, and although hollow needle begins with generally a much larger gauge, it causes less tissue trauma, meaning less potential for unsightly keloid scarring on the lobes, and therefore faster healing times.

I try to tell people to avoid wearing long heavy dangly earrings for long periods of time, as they have a tendency to 'cheese wire' through the lobe and eventually even migrate out of the ear causing all sorts of hell.

As it stands now, I have an untold amount of holes in my body, and at one point I was apprenticing to be a body piercer. My largest holes however in my lobes are only a 12.5mm (1/2") And I recently picked up these.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171104/771d23358b695bf0937473e4c4d882a3.jpg)

Not sure if stretched ears are something you're interested in, it's more of an alternative look but might go with some rocking skinny jeans and jackets ect. I also found the altered shape of my lobe (they used to be small like yours) framed my face a lot better and made it appear less 'square.' *shrug.*

Quote from: Bari Jo on November 04, 2017, 08:31:11 AM
Ill add one more note.  Im noticing this morning thay the earings are not totally symettrical.  Probably most people wouldnt notice it, but this kind of thing is my job.  So now i cant wait to get the second pierce in each ear to add visual confusion as to location of the pierces.

Second holes do help with that, stretching does also correct this. (They weirdly enough find their own symmetry probably due to the natural placement of cartilage in the ear ect) Again its not a look for everyone.

My understanding is that the training studs need to be left in for awhile.

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Angela Drakken on November 04, 2017, 10:05:00 AM
As a general rule, whatever they pierce them with originally, usually a small stainless steel stud, (still kinda cute and would prob look good on you)

Not sure if stretched ears are something you're interested in, it's more of an alternative look but might go with some rocking skinny jeans and jackets ect. I also found the altered shape of my lobe (they used to be small like yours) framed my face a lot better and made it appear less 'square.' *shrug.*

Second holes do help with that, stretching does also correct this. (They weirdly enough find their own symmetry probably due to the natural placement of cartilage in the ear ect) Again its not a look for everyone.

Hi Angela, that was my thoughts as well on the studs.   i went with these from Claires.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.claires.com%2Fon%2Fdemandware.static%2F-%2FLibrary-Sites-claires-library%2Fdefault%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Fear-piercing-kits%2F18943_1.jpg&hash=2e2f198ca3e85af0a737975fa51bbc0f092e461c)

I am not sure about stretching.  I do like the look on people, just not sure if its right for me.  Right noe im going for cute, even if i dress alternative.  Its such a fine line since im older, my beauty years have long gone, but im doing the best i can with what ive got to work with.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on November 04, 2017, 12:26:03 PM
Hi Angela, that was my thoughts as well on the studs.   i went with these from Claires.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.claires.com%2Fon%2Fdemandware.static%2F-%2FLibrary-Sites-claires-library%2Fdefault%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Fear-piercing-kits%2F18943_1.jpg&hash=2e2f198ca3e85af0a737975fa51bbc0f092e461c)

I am not sure about stretching.  I do like the look on people, just not sure if its right for me.  Right noe im going for cute, even if i dress alternative.  Its such a fine line since im older, my beauty years have long gone, but im doing the best i can with what ive got to work with.

Bari Jo

Yeah, I wouldn't go quite as 'extreme' as I did, in your case. Thankfully, most of the really pretty gauge hangers come in the smaller gauges and are easy to find however, like, for example a 4ga (less than a quarter inch.)

Bari Jo - if you're about to travel to Japan, no worries.  My experience with Japan is locals tend to assume foreigners ...are not local.  Visitors to Japan generally don't blend regardless, sort of a "don't bother trying to perfectly conform" mindset.  Previous generations conformed very cautiously but the newer generation can get pretty wild - I recommend stopping by Tokyo's Harajuku neighborhood if you want to see what I mean.  Or Shibuya, or Kabukichō next to Shinjuku, or the central walking mall in Osaka.

After your piercing heals and you want to try hoop earrings later on, be patient.  The first few times I found those incredibly frustrating to put in - one time I literally wasted a half hour and gave up.  Finally got one in, went to the other ear and the first hoop earring fell out.  These days I can do hoop earrings in about ten seconds.  Some things that look easy take practice.

Quote from: Kendra on November 04, 2017, 01:28:20 PM
Bari Jo - if you're about to travel to Japan, no worries.  My experience with Japan is locals tend to assume foreigners ...are not local.  Visitors to Japan generally don't blend regardless, sort of a "don't bother trying to perfectly conform" mindset.  Previous generations conformed very cautiously but the newer generation can get pretty wild - I recommend stopping by Tokyo's Harajuku neighborhood if you want to see what I mean.  Or Shibuya, or Kabukichō next to Shinjuku, or the central walking mall in Osaka.

After your piercing heals and you want to try hoop earrings later on, be patient.  The first few times I found those incredibly frustrating to put in - one time I literally wasted a half hour and gave up.  Finally got one in, went to the other ear and the first hoop earring fell out.  These days I can do hoop earrings in about ten seconds.  Some things that look easy take practice.

Hi Kendra, I know Japan well, even lived in Tokyo for a year.  The harajuku park is my favorite.  Im told the bands no longer play there on sundays though.  My company does have a dress code.  In the states though my dept is waived from that code.  I know others that have visited japan had to cover their tattoos.  Im hoping i dont have to take these earrings out.

Bari Jo

Cool!  I didn't realize you had lived there a year.  My first time in Japan was 1969 when I was six, very different place then.  I was amazed how fast Japan modernized in the 1970-80s.

I just pierce things myself. I prefer the control. All I need is rubbing alcohol and piercing needles. Which I have. Most healed up but the originals on the lobes are still open. I will probably put my star studs that my wife bought me back up in the middle of my ears.


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Can't wait to get mine done!

Quote from: Bari Jo on October 31, 2017, 12:15:14 PM
That's interesting.  I hadn't considered two sets.  Since I'm not presenting yet, I wonder if a second set is too much...

Bari Jo

I have couple set of earrings. I changed my depends on the outfit I wearing.

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Quote from: luanneph on November 13, 2017, 08:42:52 AM
I have couple set of earrings. I changed my depends on the outfit I wearing.

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Hi Luanneph, I think we are meaning two sets of holes in each ear, unless I read it wrong.  It's at least how I took it and responded to it:)

Bari Jo