Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi, what is it like having breasts for you, do you just wish they would disappear, appear smaller, wish they would stop growling or are still developing if so how are you dealing with them, I know a binder is the most common solution but it can't work permanently. I know this is avert forward post so I thank anyone who shares there story.


Open discussion.

I wish they would disappear. Like magic. They are in the way and look bad on my body. They don't fit.

I use a binder from time to time. Not at work though. Working 12-13 hours straight and I've heared the binder is supposed to be on for max 8 hours straight.


Tony

I don't have breasts anymore, but I used to before I had surgery. Before that, I used to hate my breasts, thought they were uncomfortable, in the way, ruined my outfits and I hated the sensation I had in my nipples too so I had to wear tape over them to make them less sensate. I also wore a binder most of the time for about five years. If I didn't wear a binder I used a sports bra and layered my clothes instead. It was a constant hassle and inconvenience for me, but I tried to distract myself from my dysphoria as well as I could (with various hobbies, school, being with friends and pets, and such). Now I'm very glad I don't have to deal with that particular aspect of my dysphoria since surgery.

I still have mine, and I've started the research to have them removed.

I feel towards this way, "look, I had a kid, used them in the way they were meant to be used (breastfeeding) and now you're basically useless and in the way so you've GOT TO GO!!!"

Yes, I bind when I go outside of the home, but when I'm at home and in my PJs, I don't bind.  I usually ignore them unless I'm going out to get the mail.  Then I throw on a hoodie, zip it partway, put my hands in my pockets and push it out towards the front to hide my D-cups and get the mail that way.

To me, they're kind of like an appendix.  I know they're there, but they serve almost no purpose.

I have to admit that when I'm intimate with my partner, I don't mind if they are part of our intimacy, but I'm sure my nipples will still be a part of that even after top surgery.  Especially since I want a surgery that won't have the nerves cut.

Ryuichi

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Wish they would just disappear. Bras are uncomfortable. Even sports bras are. And they get in the way of sports. Have tolerated them for 20+ years and now that I can earn my own money, am looking into getting rid of them. I have never used a binder because I don't think I could breathe properly in them, but have been wearing sports bras more often lately... they are still more comfortable than bras.

Ooh, what a triggering question  :o!

I don't even like to think I have 'breasts'!!!

I don't even know how I could express this in a way that is suitable for this forum...!

I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are two lumps of flesh that is not supposed to be there!!! I try to pull them apart and somehow peek through them what my REAL chest would look like (underneath)!!!

They get in the way and whenever I see myself in a mirror (especially sideview) they are a REMINDER, an exclamation mark that I have a female body!!!!!!

I'm blessed/cursed with a huge chest that I have difficulties in hiding.

But I can't change that right? Before I get top surgery. So I HAVE TO deal with it. And try to ignore it the best I can. But it's CONSTANTLY wearing me down!!! It's always there at the back of my mind.

The worst/darkest moments I feel like this:
"OMFG I'm gonna go and chop them off myself!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then I come back to my senses & realize that's not possible. So I sigh & deal with it again.

I constantly fantasize of them disappearing:
That they would just drop off like a water drop.
That they would disappear.
That they didn't exist.
That I don't have them, actually.
That I could hide them (better).
That I could make a cut with a knife & pull that extra stuff out that's not supposed to be there = flat chest!

This is THE WORST dysphoria-inducing thing for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I can't even be a man with 'them'.

God I wish they were gone already.

Usually I just try to forget I have them.

When I can't  - like when I'm naked (not often, but after a shower etc.) and I SEE them - they stare back at me - I feel ALIEN. Like I have some alien body part that is NOT supposed to be there!!!

I  constantly fantasize that they would just magically disappear.

I want them gone SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After so many years of binding they are saggy and don't have that much of sensitivity so I can squeeze them like they were two lumps of liveless flesh. I feel like they are tumors growing out of my body. I feel like I could hit someone with one!

I used to be fat but that wasn't even the worst in photos - it was having THEM & them SHOWING!!!

But since I have to suck it up & deal with this I try to IGNORE & DISTRACT MYSELF as best as I can!

But any moment I become aware of it (like now) I just feel like I wish I could grab them and pull them off!!! It's annoying to the EXTREME!!!!!!!!!

That's why I have sympathy to AMABs who have a body part that's not supposed to be there. (For those who do care about it.) At least I don't need them to have sex......! That's why I imagine it might be worse for AMABs to have sex with their body parts than for AFABs.

When I sit (like right now) I pull them aside with my elbows to make my chest appear flat.

Did that give you some idea how I feel about them, ;)?

HATE is not a strong word enough.

I dislike them a lot.

They weigh on the spine, look pretty damn weird on me (especially after 1 year + on T) and they have to go. Hopefully they will be gone by May 2018 if all goes well.

The psychological issues are numerous. For one thing they stick out, and are difficult to hide, one of the first indicators of femaleness if the onlooker can't tell by any other means, that's what they'll look for. They feel strange; there isn't much sensation in the chest tbh. I can put plenty of pressure on the skin and it won't register as it does on most other body parts as pain. Not sure why that is. They impede action like running or certain other things and just get in the way.

It's very hard to explain why it is that I definitely don't mind them on another person to look at, but on myself they are just untenable. These wouldn't be an unpleasant sight on someone else. But not on me. I can't deal with them and I don't like to notice them. I don't particularly look forward to having bits cut off but at the same time I know I'll feel 200% more relaxed without them. As cliche as the saying is of feeling like being in the wrong skin, that's exactly what having two lumps on the chest feels like. It feels like wearing someone else's ill-fitting skin: it looks wrong, it hangs wrong, it feels wrong. Like anomalous growths. 

I don't especially care if some sensation is lost there as a result of surgery. I pay so little attention to that area it would make literally zero difference to me.   

I don't wear binders every moment of the day but I do enjoy wearing them. Dissocation's down to a fine art here so I don't have to, but I still have my moments. It'll be nice not to have to dissociate and to just feel like there's nothing there. I remember exactly what it was like to have a flat chest before - as a child - and I feel like I've been deformed ever since puberty.

I realize i am opposite of most of you as I am M2F & I want breasts. But the reason I am here is if there is a F2M christian  who dosent want their breasts, I would like to know who you are so as christians we can agree in prayer that Jesus would switch our sex organs with each other, so we would both be more fulfilled in our desired body. The bible says that if 2 or more christians agree on something, Jesus will be more apt to answer our prayers. I want size D cups, so there is no fear that I would receive too much. I have size B right now, , & they arent even noticeable, so i cant even imagine that breasts would ever be in the way! I hope to hear from more than one of you.   Esther

Quote from: esther22 on April 24, 2018, 04:46:27 PM
I realize i am opposite of most of you as I am M2F & I want breasts. But the reason I am here is if there is a F2M christian  who dosent want their breasts, I would like to know who you are so as christians we can agree in prayer that Jesus would switch our sex organs with each other, so we would both be more fulfilled in our desired body. The bible says that if 2 or more christians agree on something, Jesus will be more apt to answer our prayers. I want size D cups, so there is no fear that I would receive too much. I have size B right now, , & they arent even noticeable, so i cant even imagine that breasts would ever be in the way! I hope to hear from more than one of you.   Esther

I had B cup size before my surgery, and mine were noticable in most kinds of clothes I wore except from thick jackets and very puffy sweaters. Mine mostly felt "in the way" cause they made it difficult to find comfortable positions to lie down in, the way they bounced and pulled at my chest when running made me want to vomit, having to keep them clothed whenever and wherever felt restricting, etc. They were more mentally in the way for me than physically, as they didn't cause me pain or moved around a lot.

In my experience, yes prayers can come true, but I would be careful to rely on them. I'm not a Christian, but a theist nonetheless, so I get you. Faith can be comforting when struggling with dysphoria though, and be helpful indirectly as well.