Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: daltoid37 on November 08, 2017, 02:47:00 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Dysphoria and Denial
Post by: daltoid37 on November 08, 2017, 02:47:00 PM
Post by: daltoid37 on November 08, 2017, 02:47:00 PM
Recently, like in the past few months, I've gotten more discomfortable in living how I am (just to disclose, I'm actually a minor). I came out to my mom about being ftm transgender in a letter, and she basically told me that "not many people are actually transgender" so I shouldn't tell people about it. I didn't.
After that, I started using they/them pronouns on social media, and that was ok. It was better than being called a girl, but in my real life, it was really painful to socialise w other people, as no one knew about my identity struggles.
The problem now is, I no longer have the motivation to do many things in my daily life. I have to wear baggy sweatshirts to function, because I don't have a binder and using two sports bras as a binder is too tight for long periods of time. I also put off showering, because I hate my body, and want nothing to do w it. I also got a shorter boyish haircut.
I've come out as genderqueer to my friends, as I still don't know how I want to label myself, but I really don't know how to cope w gender dysphoria. I don't want to seem like I'm overly complaining about this situation, so I don't really know if I should tell people about my dysphoria or how I mostly feel ftm trans (but I wouldn't really know how to do this).
Do any of you have tips to overcome dysphoria?
Any suggestions on what I should do about this situation?
After that, I started using they/them pronouns on social media, and that was ok. It was better than being called a girl, but in my real life, it was really painful to socialise w other people, as no one knew about my identity struggles.
The problem now is, I no longer have the motivation to do many things in my daily life. I have to wear baggy sweatshirts to function, because I don't have a binder and using two sports bras as a binder is too tight for long periods of time. I also put off showering, because I hate my body, and want nothing to do w it. I also got a shorter boyish haircut.
I've come out as genderqueer to my friends, as I still don't know how I want to label myself, but I really don't know how to cope w gender dysphoria. I don't want to seem like I'm overly complaining about this situation, so I don't really know if I should tell people about my dysphoria or how I mostly feel ftm trans (but I wouldn't really know how to do this).
Do any of you have tips to overcome dysphoria?
Any suggestions on what I should do about this situation?
Title: Re: Dysphoria and Denial
Post by: bobbisue on November 08, 2017, 03:34:45 PM
Post by: bobbisue on November 08, 2017, 03:34:45 PM
I'm no help on the physical side [going the other way] but wearing something you relate to as mens stuff boxers etc mens deodorant shoes anything you see as masculine may help with the dysphoria for a while
bobbisue :)
bobbisue :)
Title: Re: Dysphoria and Denial
Post by: daltoid37 on November 08, 2017, 04:12:22 PM
Post by: daltoid37 on November 08, 2017, 04:12:22 PM
Yeah, thx. I've been doing that (like wearing boxers, men's clothing, etc), but for some reason it's not enough.
Title: Re: Dysphoria and Denial
Post by: Izzy Grace on November 08, 2017, 04:18:04 PM
Post by: Izzy Grace on November 08, 2017, 04:18:04 PM
Is there any chance your mom might be open to you attending gender therapy with an affirming therapist? It might help you navigate and gain coping skills, and it could do the same for her and your relationship. It could give her the definitive answer she needs one way or the other.
Title: Re: Dysphoria and Denial
Post by: daltoid37 on November 08, 2017, 04:27:44 PM
Post by: daltoid37 on November 08, 2017, 04:27:44 PM
Quote from: katiekatt on November 08, 2017, 04:18:04 PM
Is there any chance your mom might be open to you attending gender therapy with an affirming therapist?
I haven't thought about that, but I'll consider it. I wouldn't know who to contact, so I'll have to dig a bit to find someone (I live in Singapore, which isn't ideal for these sorts of things).