Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Alright, I've been binding for about 3 years. the first year, I wore it relatively safe. Maybe 9 hours instead of 8 every now and then. About six months ago, my binder started getting very loose, and I didn't have access to getting one for myself (the first one was a secretive gift from a friend). When the binder was so loose it was useless, I did what every trans guy knows not to do, the #1 rule of binding: the ace bandage. See, my dysphoria was so strong that I didn't care at all about the repercussions. I'd just hold my breath and keep my head high. A month or two later of 6-7 hours binding a day, I got a new one. I've worn it as little as possible, but I am still in high school. I wear it 7-8 hours 5 days a week, including gym class. I honestly can't handle not wearing it outside my home. However, I'm facing some major consequences for my stupid mistake. My lung capacity is off and I need to use an inhaler twice daily (used to be 4), I have major back/rib/sternum pain, my heartbeat is irregularly fast for someone of my age and the sport I do (swimming, without binding). I'm so terrified that if I tell my doctor that I think my issues are related to binding, I won't be allowed to bind anymore. And that's the simple, obvious answer. But even with the binder, I have so much anxiety and self-consciousness that the thought of leaving the house without a binder sends a rush of fear throughout my body. I don't really think I'm looking for advice. I just needed to share with someone. Thanks for reading!

I'm really sorry that you're experiencing so many difficulties!  I think that the safest thing to do would be to tell your dr. you were binding with ace bandages, but that you've stopped.  That might save you from invasive medical tests that the dr. might put you through in the name of finding the cause of your difficulties.  I suppose you could avoid telling the doctor that you're still binding, so they wouldn't tell your parents about it, and you could avoid being forbidden to bind at all.  Can you see the dr. without a parent in the room?  That might make things easier. 

If you need a new binder but can't get your parents to get you one, check out http://www.inabind.transactiveonline.org (http://www.inabind.transactiveonline.org).