Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Today I received SRS from Dr. Christine McGinn at Lower Bucks Hospital. My surgery was at 7:30 AM this morning, and by all reports, went very well! I'll try to do few more updates on this thread to document my recovery.

How have I been feeling physically?

When I woke up, I experienced some pretty bad nausea, which caused me to aggravate my stitches by retching. I was initially disappointed that the morphine drip wasn't doing more to dull the pain. Even though I was pressing the button as frequently as I could, the pain was still an 8 out of 10. Fortunately, at around 1 PM, the nurses gave me an extra 2 mg of morphine which was very helpful. Since then, the pain wasn't too bad at all (maybe 3 out of 10). My nausea has also completely cleared up. There has been minimal bleeding, and I've been able to sleep pretty comfortably. Aside from sucking on ice chips, I can't eat or drink. Including pre-surgical fasting, I will probably end up going 4-5 days without any solid food.  I definitely am thirsty, but the IV is taking care of my hunger. Honestly, I feel really great physically, even though the surgery was just 18 hours ago.

How has my mood been?

I am not sure if it's the morphine, but I am in a wonderfully happy mood. Like "one of the best days of my life" happy. I scheduled this surgery nearly a year ago and having to wait for it has been emotionally exhausting. It feels so great for the wait to be over. Even though I won't see my vagina until the dressings are removed a few days from now, the knowledge that it is there feels incredibly gratifying. I also feel so thankful for my family's support. My spouse, boyfriend, daughter, and both of my parents were with me today, and almost everyone is staying for nearly the entire two weeks that I will be in the Philadelphia area. In addition, I was given a surprise basket filled with cards and gifts that my sisters had put together. And my dad gave me some beautiful flowers. Oh my goodness! Everybody is being so sweet, and I am touched to the point that I keep shedding noisy sentimental tears.

What have I been doing?

I haven't left the hospital bed since I woke up from surgery, and I have to lie completely flat on my back. I spent much of the day sleeping, goofing off on my phone/laptop, and chatting with my mom. So far, I haven't felt bored at all and am only mildly uncomfortable. For the most part, since the pain from this afternoon subsided, it has just been a really relaxing and pleasant day.

Here's a picture from this morning with my parents right before they pulled me back:

(https://i.imgur.com/YzoyA10.jpg)

This was super touching pleassseee keep me updated ive been fearing this day forever.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

Congratulations!  I was where you are about 5 months ago. Are you staying at the Gaia House, McGinn's recovery B and B? Bill makes the best breakfasts. lol You have a lot of fun things ahead, like seeing it for the first time. So happy for you.
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on December 06, 2017, 04:15:21 AM
Congratulations!  I was where you are about 5 months ago. Are you staying at the Gaia House, McGinn's recovery B and B? Bill makes the best breakfasts. lol You have a lot of fun things ahead, like seeing it for the first time. So happy for you.
Moni

Thanks! We actually got an Airbnb instead. I have a big entourage with me, so Gaia House probably wouldn't have worked too well. Too bad i'll have to miss out on Bill's breakfast!

I hope things go smoothly for you. I have such a wonderful memory of that period of time in my life. It was truly a magical time for me. It is fantastic that you have such great support. You look very happy in your picture. It would be nice if you want to tell how things progress from here. I would be interested. Wishing you the best.
Moni

(https://www.susans.org/forums/gallery/0/13844-080817062808.jpeg)

Big hug! Keep us posted on your progress!

Hugs, Devlyn

So far so good!  Here's another update!

Positioning

Today, I was allowed to sit-up in bed, so long as the angle of the bed does not exceed 30 degrees. I do find that sitting at any angle, while convenient is much more painful than lying flat. So I've been switching back and forth, with most of my time still being spent lying on my back.

(https://i.imgur.com/cN30q5m.jpg)

Morphine

Dr. McGinn told me that the less morphine I use, the more quickly I will "feel better." So I have tried to wean myself off the morphine drip by pressing the button less frequently. This seemed to be working okay earlier in the day, where I could sometimes go more than an hour in-between pressing the button. But this also seems like a risky strategy. You can get really behind, and then pain becomes too much, and then it takes a long time to find relief. Tonight, I let my pain get way out-of-control, to the point that I was literally moaning. I think the worst my pain has been around 8/10, but it's happened a couple different times. Right now, I'm having some trouble sleeping, because despite pressing the morphine button as frequently as I can, my pain is still at about 5/10. 

Standing

Today, I finally got out of bed and stood for the first time. After having laid down for so long, you are at risk of passing out if you try to stand (https://youtu.be/TauEBj_XTd0?t=400). Though I was lightheaded, I didn't come close to passing out. I felt well enough to walk around, but the nurses wouldn't allow it. Of course, I tend to be afflicted with crazy overconfidence, so maybe trying to walk around at this point would have been a disaster.

Seeing McGinn Again

I did see McGinn briefly before I went under. Then, she stopped by my room today to check on me. We spoke for only a couple minutes. She said the surgery was completely uneventful as everything went perfect (yay!). McGinn also said that I seemed to be recovering more quickly than 90%-95% of patients. That was great to hear!.

I asked her if it would be okay if I tried to introduce myself to some of the other SRS patients. She was discouraging, as she felt that wasn't respectful of other people's privacy. She seemed more open to the idea of me stopping by and visiting with SRS patients at the Gaia house after surgery (my family and I are staying somewhere else), so maybe I'll do that if I feel well enough.

There are lots of SRS patients here, partially because McGinn is not the only SRS surgeon working out of Lower Bucks Hospital. There is also Dr. Leis (http://www.drshermanleis.com/index.html). It's been interesting to learn from the nursing staff all the things that Dr. McGinn and Dr. Leis do differently.

• Unlike Dr. McGinn, Dr. Leis doesn't pack the vagina (or maybe doesn't using pressure dressings?), so you can actually see the results almost immediately after surgery.
• Dr. Leis allows patients to eat almost right away, whereas Dr. McGinn limits us to ice chips for the first couple days.
• Dr. Leis does not encourage patients to try to walk. Insead, they stay in bed for the entire hospital stay.

Nursing Staff

It's hard for me to imagine a better nursing staff than the ones that work at Lower Bucks Hospital. Most (if not all) of the nursing staff that have treated me have extensive experience working with SRS patients. Everyone is super nice, positive, affirming, charming, and responsive. Special shout-outs to Franny and Jennifer. Here's Jennifer right after giving me a sponge bath:

(https://i.imgur.com/PaOCmrA.jpg)

It's very difficult to be in a bad mood when you're surrounded by so many wonderful people.

Family

Lots of people talk about the hospital stay being boring. But since I'm surrounded by my family and I feel well-enough to socialize, I don't feel bored at all. I'm in a serious romantic triad (i.e. a 3-person polyamorous relationship) with my spouse and boyfriend. My mom and 2-year old daughter are here too! They are all staying for almost the entire two weeks and have been so sweet throughout this entire process. Here are some pictures and video:

(https://i.imgur.com/FxVV8WC.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/bkeyICY.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/ye4YyjR.jpg)

I still need to get some pictures with my mom!

Cards and Gifts

I have three sisters, and although they weren't able to come, they surprised me by collecting a huge number of letters from family and friends. Each letter is thoughtful and LONG. I'm reading some of them each day. If you are supporting a loved one during surgery, maybe consider doing this exercise, because reading each of these letters has sent my mood over the moon.

(https://i.imgur.com/afkLFZ8.jpg)

My sisters have further spoiled me by getting me a bunch of silly gifts such as nail polish and "sexy hospital lingerie."

(https://i.imgur.com/KapCFLO.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/eDyXdFY.jpg)

Overall Summary

I'm just feeling so incredibly grateful. I feel grateful that this surgery even exists, and is now behind me. That my recovery has been so smooth thus far. And that my family is so wonderfully supportive.

It's just great being me right now :)

Hi I'm Laurie,

  I enjoyed reading your account post surgery and all the support you receive from family and friends. I am glad it is going so well for you and wish you a speedy and uneventful recovery. Uneventful in a bad way of course as I am sure you have more enjoyable events ahead for you.
  I have fond memories of that hospital too, but my memories are from a visitor's perspective of when I met a very special woman who was in your condition when I first met her in person. Hopefully I am one of her special memories of her hospital stay. Just as yours are with your family and friends.
  Heal quickly and heal well.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I am sooooo looking forward to this day!!!!  Being only less than 5 months on HRT, I have no idea when I will be able to have the actual surgery.  But reading your experience gets me so excited for my own!

  As for the pain management.....I know we all tend to not want to be categorized as druggies or something, and feel the need to take it easy with the morphine button or whatever......but there is no need to be in unnecessary pain, and there is actual scientific evidence that shows that physical pain can actually cause us long term negative health effects.  I get what the doctor is saying about feeling better by using it less, but definitely don't be afraid to use it. 

    I wish so bad that I could fast forward to my own surgery date!

Quote from: Laurie on December 07, 2017, 03:33:47 PM
Hi I'm Laurie,

  I enjoyed reading your account post surgery and all the support you receive from family and friends. I am glad it is going so well for you and wish you a speedy and uneventful recovery. Uneventful in a bad way of course as I am sure you have more enjoyable events ahead for you.
  I have fond memories of that hospital too, but my memories are from a visitor's perspective of when I met a very special woman who was in your condition when I first met her in person. Hopefully I am one of her special memories of her hospital stay. Just as yours are with your family and friends.
  Heal quickly and heal well.

Hugs,
   Laurie

You sure are Laurie. I still can't believe you came all the way across country but I am so glad you did.  I must admit to not looking nearly as good as Ashadyna though. Oh and my entourage was not quite as big. Ashadyna, I stayed at the Gaia House and it was very cool to meet others who had the surgery. We still talk to this day, the five of us. If you can work it out, I think you would enjoy the experience. You might have a family member talk to and offer your number to the family member of another patient. That way it is their choice to follow through or not.
Thank you for sharing so much. You look way happy and we are all happy for you.
Sincerely,
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on December 07, 2017, 06:42:10 PM
You sure are Laurie. I still can't believe you came all the way across country but I am so glad you did.  I must admit to not looking nearly as good as Ashadyna though. Oh and my entourage was not quite as big. Ashadyna, I stayed at the Gaia House and it was very cool to meet others who had the surgery. We still talk to this day, the five of us. If you can work it out, I think you would enjoy the experience. You might have a family member talk to and offer your number to the family member of another patient. That way it is their choice to follow through or not.

Thank you for sharing so much. You look way happy and we are all happy for you.
Sincerely,
Moni

You are too kind Moni! I love your idea of relying on family members to introduce me to new post-op friends! I'll see if I can get my mom to go along with that plan :)

Quote from: ashadyna on December 07, 2017, 08:17:31 PM
You are too kind Moni! I love your idea of relying on family members to introduce me to new post-op friends! I'll see if I can get my mom to go along with that plan :)

I hope it works for you. I forgot to mention that your daughter is such a cutie.  :)
Moni

Congratulations, you look so happy. I am glad you have so much support.

I remember waiting in that lobby before they called me back. The wait seamed like an hour but if was just a few minutes.

Good luck in recovery.

Congratulations.  It's heartwarming to see you surrounded by so much love and support from family and friends before and after your surgery.

Thursday

Thursday was my last full day at the hospital, and it was encouraging. They let me take short walks through the corridors on my floor - first using a walker and then unassisted. They'd already taken out my morphine drip. Soon after, they removed my oxygen assistance, IV drip, drains, pressure dressings, and urine bag. By Thursday evening, all dietary restrictions had been lifted. Though I was allowed to take one Vicodin every 4 hours, I went most of the day on one pill.

Things got harder at night. My pain started coming back, so I took a whole Vicodin and went to sleep. I woke up with bad pain (8/10), but I needed to wait an additional 2 hours before I could take more drugs. My spouse read my letters to me until the pain subsided.

Friday

Waking up Friday morning I felt better and was discharged that same day. Other than walks to the bathroom, I was to be on bed rest. After being cleared to leave, my family started packing our stuff. I had maintained good spirits during my stay, but waiting in a hospital bed while my family packed made me so restless and I got pretty grumpy. I passed the time trying to untangle my severe bed head.

(https://i.imgur.com/BpvSBX3.jpg)

Over my 3-day stay, I had become quite attached to my nurses. I had written this sappy thank you note (https://i.imgur.com/OtId7Mx.png) and had envisioned an emotional goodbye. But as I was wheeled towards the hospital entrance, most of the nurses were too busy caring for other patients to even wave. They're such amazing people.

People warn that sitting is the most uncomfortable position after this surgery, and even short drives can be miserable. The hospital was about 35 minutes from our Airbnb, so my mom was worried about the drive. My bedroom was on the second floor, so my mom was also worried about climbing the flight of stairs. My bed was very low to the floor, so my mom was also worried about being able to climb in-and-out of it. The configuration of the bedroom wasn't nearly as optimized as the hospital, so my mom also was worried about me having to move too much to get things. But I did each of these things without much trouble. I felt great to be so capable so soon after surgery and posted this picture on Facebook.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblob%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fimgur.com%2Fc57911fb-02ca-4760-854a-d406c0c6686e&hash=74bd91c7fc1492a5670308dab5cc23ebd3e5bb35)

In hindsight, my mom was right to be worried. Soon after taking the picture, I began shivering. I had developed a fever and was led back to bed. I had people all around, but since no particular person was in charge of my care, it felt like it was falling on me to direct people. People kept asking me questions. "Do you think you should take these vitamins? Should we take your temperature again? Where is the thermometer? Why haven't you emptied your catheter yet? Where are your ice packs? Aren't you supposed to be using the sprirometer?" Pain, as bad as I had experienced thus far, came back. My surgery site ached terribly and my body shook from cold. The room was like a crowded restaurant with everyone talking at once, and when I needed help, it felt like no one could hear. I asked my boyfriend to clear the room, but nothing happened initially. Then, I broke down. People asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't manage coherent speech. My freak-out killed the mood in the room, and nearly everyone left.

I was humiliated. It's not rare for SRS patients to care for themselves after leaving the hospital. I had more help than just about anyone and was still failing to cope. It was the worst I had felt since surgery. Eventually, my Vicodin kicked in and I calmed down. With my spouse, my boyfriend, and my sister, we worked through the new challenges created by the new environment. It was decided that my boyfriend and sister would co-direct my care, and everyone else would make an effort to give me more privacy. They assured me that everything was going to be taken care of and that from then on, people were going to be giving me orders rather than asking me questions. My sister called the emergency line to verify that my fever wasn't too high. It all made me feel much better.

But that night, I continued to pay the price for "over-doing it." The pain was just horrible (10/10). I had already maxed-out my Vicodin. I writhed in bed, moaning, crying uncontrollably, and unable to speak. My ears filled with water from sobbing while flat on my back. My boyfriend read me my letters, but it didn't help and mindfulness meditation seemed to make things worse. I just suffered and waited for when I could have Vicodin. Then, in a moment, my body went limp and the pain seemed to disappear. I was completely still and struggled to tell if I was paralyzed. My whole body felt wet, and I wasn't sure if it was sweat or blood. I couldn't understand what had happened and feared I had hemorrhaged or had a stroke or an aneurysm. But things soon normalized and a less severe version of the pain returned. I checked the surgical site and was relieved to see everything looking fine. Still worried something awful had happened, I made sure I could move my legs, touched each of my fingers to my thumb, and counted to 30 by threes. I seemed okay. Finally, I could take more Vicodin and get to sleep.

At one point that night, I had asked my boyfriend to take my picture. I think I had been feeling guilty and stupid for posting that healthy-looking picture of myself, as it might lead to people to underestimate the difficulty of recovery. Honestly, I'm photogenic by nature, so it doesn't even look bad. At least it clarifies I haven't spent the whole recovery grinning.

(https://i.imgur.com/SfyOqah.jpg)

Saturday

Waking up Saturday morning, my teeth were covered in blood, apparently from having bitten my lips. I described what had happened to my sister, who is a registered nurse. She suggested that I had probably just passed out from the pain. She was very empathetic but didn't seem worried. I noticed some redness near my surgery site and called the emergency line. Dr. McGinn picked up and dissuaded me of any worries. Still, I felt shaken and committed myself to taking it SUPER EASY on Saturday. 

Saturday ended up being successfully boring. I spent the whole day in bed, other than bathroom trips. I took all the Vicodin I could, even when I was feeling fine. My pain stayed controlled. I watched the movie "About Time" with my boyfriend, which I very much enjoyed.

Despite being bed-ridden for 5 days, "About Time" is the only movie I've watched. I have also watched 3 episodes of "The People vs. OJ Simpson" and a few YouTube videos, but it really hasn't been nearly as much TV as one might expect. I haven't been reading much either, having only completed 5 chapters of Pride and Prejudice. There's plenty of people to talk to, and I've found that if I'm not feeling well enough to chat, I usually don't feel like reading or watching TV either.

The highlights of Saturday included my daughter running around the house wearing some purple glasses:

(https://i.imgur.com/Kw7zfdH.jpg)

And a surprise visit from my cousin who, despite living in San Francisco, was randomly nearby:

(https://i.imgur.com/YpVXE8H.jpg)

Saturday night was not nearly as painful as Friday night, but I still struggled to sleep well.

Sunday Morning

It's Sunday as I write this. I felt exhausted waking up this morning. This was the first day where I experienced noticeable muscle weakness. As I rose from bed to use the bathroom, I could tell that this time would be different. I felt more light-headed than before and relied on my boyfriend to maintain my balance. I walked to the toilet and uncapped my catheter. Midway through emptying it, I dropped the plastic cap on the floor.

I asked my boyfriend to take care of it. He took it but said he needed to ask my RN sister how to clean it. He left my side, and only then did I realize how unsteady I was on my own. I broke out into a cold sweat, pulled my robe off, and wobbled on my feet. I cried out for him, but he said he would be right back. He told me to sit on the toilet seat, which I eventually did. Shortly after sitting down, I passed out entirely. When I came to, I was stilling on the toilet but was being held and rocked my boyfriend. I still had my eyes closed, and just let myself be comforted for a couple minutes while I regained my strength. When I finally opened my eyes, I was surprised to see that I was actually in the arms of my sister. Both her and my boyfriend led me back to bed.

I fell back asleep for an hour or so. I'm feeling much better now.

Ashadyna,
   Glad you are feeling better. It is definitely an unpredictable time as far as how your body will react. I definitely went on the side of safety. I always had someone in the room at first when I went to the bathroom. I had lost a fair amount of blood during my procedure so I was a little light headed to begin with. I remember hating the shower because I froze until I was back in bed for 5-10 minutes. Then 20 minutes later, the hot flash of course.
   This is definitely an emotional event. I highly doubt anyone felt bad about your meltdown. I'm sure they understand. It is good that you ended up delegating responsibilities. Your only job should be resting and getting better. Many friends from Susan's told me that and I took it to heart.
   I know you will  soon get the packing out. Make sure you are ready to see Frankenvagina. It is definitely not the prettiest thing to look at at  first. On the other hand, it was way cool!
   Well, thanks for letting us be a part of this. Hope you continue to have less and less pain. Keep smilin!
Moni

Hi Ashadyna,

  I haven't got a darn thing to help you through this and I have not been in your situation. I just want to say I am reading your story and wishing you well.

Hugs,
   Laurie

So Laurie, why did you tell me you assisted Dr. McGinn during my surgery? And I believed you!
Moni

Congratulations and it looks like the worst is over. Everyone is different on the level of pain they experience. One thing I can say is that for everyone who has gone through this that the car ride from the hospital is agonizing to say the least. The first day home is almost always more painful than the last day in the hospital.

Just remember that each day gets a little bit better and you get a little bit stronger and able to do just a little bit more.