Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey,

I'm first time posting and I've had a little look through the other threads, but I haven't found something that addresses my issue per say. I have a serious problem with passing and now that I am over 3 years on hormone treatment, it's becoming very distressing!

I work in retail. We recently took on three new members of staff, and all three have incorrectly gendered me from the get-go. I do have an ambiguous name that doesn't help my cause, of that I am aware, but it's incredibly frustrating to be automatically labelled female right out of the gate.

When I'm out in casual clothes, I pass even less than I do at work. With customers, it's pretty 50/50 as to whether they say 'lady' or 'man'. When I'm in my own clothes, it's 100% fail. I really have no idea what I can do to improve my chances of passing. I had dreamt, back in the early days of using HRT, that three years down the line I would pass - be patient, I told myself. I know there's no exact science, no "after x amount of time you will pass", but at this point I really hoped it would be less than it was when I started.

It seems jeans and t-shirts aren't enough. I'm small (5'3'') and rounded, have about four hairs on my chin and a receding hairline. I'm 28, almost 29. My voice passes 100% on the phone, without even a hint of doubt. I was blessed with a low voice, but that seems about it!

Any advice for a rounded short guy who is on HRT and has been for sometime, who just can't seem to pass?

I'll give a bit, swearing, wearing black, cowboy boots are masculine and will make you taller.  Cowboy shirts too.  Walking with a swagger.  I'm removing the swagger on myself, gosh that feels good.  If out socially, a beer, not anything else.  Btw, all these things are things I'm removing from myself!

Bari Jo

+1 on the cowboy boots.  But in addition to that, if you have enough T going to recede your hairline, then you have enough T going to build some muscle.  So get to the gym and get to work, especially on your arms and upper body.  When people gender male, they are looking at arms, hands, shoulders and chest.  The size of your hands does not matter nearly so much as how muscular they look.  Men's hands are far more muscular than women's hands.  So get some stress balls or grip exercise thingies and get to work.

Come to think of it, do some work on the stationary bike or the stair master too.  I had massive calf muscles before transition, a legacy of being a bicycle racer in my twenties.

People respond instinctively to defined muscle.  They see it as a male thing.

Hi eren_k28, I see that you are new here and have managed to sneak in and hide from being greeted by one of the staff for several days. But I've found you now! So please let me say, Welcome To Susan's Place! Come on in and take a good look around.  Perhaps I can even get you to hop on over to the Introductions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) Thread and  create a post to tell us a little bit more about yourself so we can get to know you a little better and greet you properly. I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there.

Laurie
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Laurie@susans.org

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Hey!

Sorry for the late response - I didn't honestly expect much feedback, so thank you all for taking the time to offer up your advice. I really appreciate it!

Given that it's about to be a New Year, it seems like a pretty notion to say I'll get fit. But that's the feedback you've given me, so it's time to muscle up. I won't go to a gym, I can't face that. But I can certainly do some muscle training at home.

Thank you all for helping me and I'll hopefully be back soon a little trimmer and more muscled x''D

Something not mentioned is hair style. Long hair is often a trigger for determining gender as female. In the 60's and 70's, many CiS males were gendered feminine when they adopted the hippy life style and longer hair. Most of the time at the end of puberty and when they could grow a beard, this was not a problem but younger males who's face wasn't strongly masculine were often gendered feminine.