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Are there any words that worsen your disphoria? for me living currently as a boy, where everybody currently knows me as a boy, the phrase MAN UP always triggers my disphoria off, i always think UMM but i dont want to MAN UP im really a girl inside howww can i woman up?

I despise the term " man up". Whenever someone said that to me it made me hostile. Two that I really hated and caused intense dysphoria were "little dude" and " bro". Both would make my skin crawl. My brother called me " little dude" but after he found out what a Smurf was ,he liked that better and started calling me Smurf. He still does actually.  One of my brother's friends used to use Bro in every sentence. One day I told him he had no idea what a brainless idiot he sounded like saying bro all the time. He did stop using it so much after that.

Dont worry i know you cant do X well, ...
.... your a man after all
.... your only man

Daughter brings me a pic of thr family shes drawn.... i have no hair


                   

"Sir".


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Yeah. I always hated "man up." I would think, "No thanks. I'm good."

I was discussing with a friend about the benefits and downsides of switching to injections from taking pills.
She says, "Man up. Takes the shots."
I answer "Really! Man up?"

Quote from: KarynMcD on December 26, 2017, 02:04:16 PM
Yeah. I always hated "man up." I would think, "No thanks. I'm good."

I was discussing with a friend about the benefits and downsides of switching to injections from taking pills.
She says, "Man up. Takes the shots."
I answer "Really! Man up?"

Oh I know. That's so annoying!  My dad and brother really never said " man up" to me. But my uncle and grandpa said it all the time. I would just say "no thank you" or " I think not".

"hey man"
"Hey bro"
"Hey dude"

Etc. It bothers me when men treat me like that cuz deep down I want them to treat me in a nice and loving way like they do with women.


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Quote from: Christy Lee on December 26, 2017, 12:56:47 AM
Are there any words that worsen your disphoria?

Not anymore, no.

I've gotten to a point where I realise that the things people say are usually coming from a place within them, and very little to do with you. I've learned in my life to cut people a lot of slack. They don't feel the things I feel. A lot of the time they don't understand. And that isn't their fault. It isn't anyone's fault. It is what it is. It doesn't change who I am, so I don't let it bother me. Because doing so isn't going to change anything. Other than make me feel bad. And there's enough to do that already.

Stuff only gets to you if you let it. That was a long, hard, painful lesson. But one I think I've finally learned. It's possible to control the way you feel about things and how you let them affect you. Not easy, but possible. I suppose it helps that my dysphoria was never really social. It was almost entirely physical. A lot of the time I could forgive people because my belief in myself outweighed it all. And I was always more "I don't need to you to see, as long as I see." And when I didn't... that was what triggered me. More than probably anything. And hard. I don't care what the world thinks of me, I care more about what I think of myself. But that's just me.

Quote from: Sephirah on December 26, 2017, 02:43:31 PM
Not anymore, no.

I've gotten to a point where I realise that the things people say are usually coming from a place within them, and very little to do with you. I've learned in my life to cut people a lot of slack. They don't feel the things I feel. A lot of the time they don't understand. And that isn't their fault. It isn't anyone's fault. It is what it is. It doesn't change who I am, so I don't let it bother me. Because doing so isn't going to change anything. Other than make me feel bad. And there's enough to do that already.

Stuff only gets to you if you let it. That was a long, hard, painful lesson. But one I think I've finally learned. It's possible to control the way you feel about things and how you let them affect you. Not easy, but possible. I suppose it helps that my dysphoria was never really social. It was almost entirely physical. A lot of the time I could forgive people because my belief in myself outweighed it all. And I was always more "I don't need to you to see, as long as I see." And when I didn't... that was what triggered me. More than probably anything. And hard. I don't care what the world thinks of me, I care more about what I think of myself. But that's just me.

Its always been abit more social for me my disphoria has, ive always hated the idea of being the boyfriend, or being the husband/father, being the man (ugh triggered)

My body disphoria isnt as prominent as the social side, ive always sometimes had slight disphoria about my body or voice, but its always been more about the social expectations of being a man for me (triggered)

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on December 26, 2017, 02:40:17 PM
"hey man"
"Hey bro"
"Hey dude"

Etc. It bothers me when men treat me like that cuz deep down I want them to treat me in a nice and loving way like they do with women.


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Ive actually not been as bothered by that i guess

Quote from: Shambles on December 26, 2017, 09:45:07 AM
Dont worry i know you cant do X well, ...
.... your a man after all
.... your only man

Daughter brings me a pic of thr family shes drawn.... i have no hair


                   

Your only a man,  OMG triggered

for me anyother one is, men suck or i hate men or something like that

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 26, 2017, 08:48:48 AM
I despise the term " man up". Whenever someone said that to me it made me hostile. Two that I really hated and caused intense dysphoria were "little dude" and " bro". Both would make my skin crawl. My brother called me " little dude" but after he found out what a Smurf was ,he liked that better and started calling me Smurf. He still does actually.  One of my brother's friends used to use Bro in every sentence. One day I told him he had no idea what a brainless idiot he sounded like saying bro all the time. He did stop using it so much after that.

I havent really gotten bro all that much, and as a tall person i dont get little dude at all also other area (stomach) only reason people would have to call me little dude is sarcastically LOL

I think Man Up would be my least favorite term or phrase in the English language LOL, i can sometimes feel it coming on when im with people and i think here it comes and maybe even if its not directed at me personally i feel like ARRGGHH OMG I HATE THAT TERM i get this like real sour look on my face

Quote from: Kc1058 on December 26, 2017, 10:59:12 AM
"Sir".


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HUH that one is annoying, sir or Mister

Quote from: KarynMcD on December 26, 2017, 02:04:16 PM
Yeah. I always hated "man up." I would think, "No thanks. I'm good."

I was discussing with a friend about the benefits and downsides of switching to injections from taking pills.
She says, "Man up. Takes the shots."
I answer "Really! Man up?"

I always think, NO THANKS or WHY?

A lot of my dysphoria stems from the public. Like, I get annoyed or upset if someone says "hi ladies" when I'm with my girlfriend, or something like that. I obviously don't pass yet and don't sound like a guy but it would be nice to not hear it e v e r y time I go out anywhere.


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I have also been confused  as Ma'am  on the phone because my voice is kinda feminine, it triggers my disphoria, im like did i just get called Ma'am thats kinda hot, but i mean why shouldnt i just have been born this way to stop this confusion

also have been confused in public as a woman, just as boy mode (which is always me), i hate that feeling. i think im a boy why do they look at me or think im a woman? i think im a woman but i was born a boy its just soo confusing to me

There used to be but I've decided not to be at the mercy of words. I figure, if a word can hurt me, I'm not going to get far into transition dealing with actual things without becoming a wreck.

So, I said all the words I hate many times over to myself in mind in different ways until they got no reaction.

Now they are just words. If I hear them, I feel nothing. 

Quote from: Viktor on December 26, 2017, 04:54:41 PM
There used to be but I've decided not to be at the mercy of words. I figure, if a word can hurt me, I'm not going to get far into transition dealing with actual things without becoming a wreck.

So, I said all the words I hate many times over to myself in mind in different ways until they got no reaction.

Now they are just words. If I hear them, I feel nothing.

Thats a great idea :)

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on December 26, 2017, 02:40:17 PM
"hey man"
"Hey bro"
"Hey dude"

Etc. It bothers me when men treat me like that cuz deep down I want them to treat me in a nice and loving way like they do with women.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I sympathize with you and I know exactly what you mean. I felt that way too before transition. Guys were very hostile towards me and usually called me ->-bleeped-<- or homo.

I got called mr today and I was like really lol. It's whatever for me at this point if in a year or more it happens then that would be aggrivating

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"Guys" drives me up a wall, mostly due to its ambiguity. If someone does a sir or mister at me with my boobs and my cute glasses, I just file them under "a-hole" and call it a day. But with "guys" I'm all "do I need to fight that person, or are they just innocently erasing women, or is guys just a thing they use for groups containing any genders?"

It's exhausting

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Quote from: Tamika Olivia on December 26, 2017, 08:08:06 PM
"Guys" drives me up a wall, mostly due to its ambiguity. If someone does a sir or mister at me with my boobs and my cute glasses, I just file them under "a-hole" and call it a day. But with "guys" I'm all "do I need to fight that person, or are they just innocently erasing women, or is guys just a thing they use for groups containing any genders?"

It's exhausting

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I always use the word guys for a group doesnt matter around gender although i have found myself not using it on here so i dont offend anyone for that exact reason. To me the word is gender neutral

Before transitioning a trigger word or phrase for me was "don't get your panties in a wad!" Hated that one like first I don't have panties (but, I want some), and why do they have to wad to get me upset?!!!!

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 26, 2017, 05:38:02 PM
Guys were very hostile towards me and usually called me ->-bleeped-<- or homo.

And know they are asking you out right?
That's been my experience.

When people refer to me when talking to my dog is Poppa or Daddy, that bothers me now.  Mainly because I've been referring to myself as his mommy.  My dog is very femme looking, always is getting called a she.  I keep thinking why is he getting all the breaks?

:)

Bari Jo

Quote from: KarynMcD on December 27, 2017, 11:20:49 AM
And know they are asking you out right?
That's been my experience.

Yes. Guys react totally different to me now. They smile, flirt and yes some of them ask me out. Of course I get some piggish treatment. I've had guys I don't even know call me babe, baby, sugar, sweetheart, sweet cheeks, etc. I've also had guys say " I would love to hit that" while I'm still well within hearing range. But I prefer all of that to the way they treated me before transition. Honestly none of that offends me. A lot of guys act piggish around women. If you looked up sexist chauvinist you would find a picture of my grandpa. My brother can act like a total sexist pig sometimes and I'm trying to get him over doing that.

Umm i found a couple more that trigger me

When CIS girls talk about guys, and there like MEN.... you know how they rant? that makes me so confused, im like OMG im a man now? but your not talking about me like that, is that cus you know about me? how should i feel in this scenario? i just typically say um you girls know im a guy right??? they say oh we dont mean you (which weirds me out just as much).... (but on the inside its like im really a girl)

Another one is

When CIS girls, talk about how hot a guy is (Kit Harrington for example), and well i guess its sort of a sexuality thing but also for me its causes me abit of dysphoria, they say what id like to do to him or something and then they say oh that doesnt really aplply to you does it? and it makes me feel really uncomfortable  (it was a bad example, i see that now but i think you get the message)

"Mate"!! I'm British, and when a man says "sorry mate" or "'scuse me mate", it just, urgh. It's a term 90% used by men for men, and it's because I'm 6'2, yes I'm taller than you, but forgive my arrogance, I know I look like a girl. It's the men who clock me as a trans (not bloody difficult) and feel insecure about me towering over them - they try and reduce me to their level, to let me know they've "caught me out", with that one word - "mate". C-words.

Being called handsome has always upset me. No matter how well intentioned it was always an awkward thing more so than other complements (though they still tend to make me feel awkward) with the exception of being called pretty which has only ever been accidental and quickly retracted.
I have a bad habit of inserting "man" into things i say, I am in the process of fixing that

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 27, 2017, 12:18:01 PM
Yes. Guys react totally different to me now. They smile, flirt and yes some of them ask me out. Of course I get some piggish treatment. I've had guys I don't even know call me babe, baby, sugar, sweetheart, sweet cheeks, etc. I've also had guys say " I would love to hit that" while I'm still well within hearing range. But I prefer all of that to the way they treated me before transition. Honestly none of that offends me. A lot of guys act piggish around women. If you looked up sexist chauvinist you would find a picture of my grandpa. My brother can act like a total sexist pig sometimes and I'm trying to get him over doing that.

Yes women have it bad. They had it worse in the eighty's. I remember escorting the women across the shop floor because of the woof whistles, shouts, gestures and nude portraits on the workers tool boxes. I remember one of the secretary's getting laid on the bosses table top in front of passing motorists. She got fired. He only got demoted. I remember another boss getting caught twice having sex in the elevator. It was a very hard time for the women. Things have changed slightly but it still has a long way to go.

Now it's been whenever someone says "hello" to me. Just kidding I try to laugh things off more now because I'm in the awkward stage for at least another year. I'm gonna try to have as much fun with it as I can

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Pull! Sorry bad pun.

I don't really have a trigger word parse. People make mistake and when it's thing they are confused about, they're gonna make more. I had one guy ask me if it was okay to call me, "girl". I thought it was so adorable. Most of the time I don't correct anyone unless they keep making the same mistake over and over. I never tell anyone what to do or say unless they ask. I prefer a more indirect approach. Like one of my friend kept calling me "bro". And I responded with "Bro?''. He fixes his own mistakes now. Allowing someone to fix their own mistakes is always the best way to teach someone in my opinion. But some people are just dense, and you need to be more clear.

The only time I would really care if some calls me anything in an abusive way. Even someone calling me "she" in the wrong way. And those people get my divine wrath. I had one guy that did that, and I chased him around the work floor pretending I wanted to hug him. He learned his lesson.

I hate 'him' and 'he'. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I either think I'm not as passable as I want or, if it is someone I know a long time, maybe that is how they truly see me. I noticed guys are more likely to hang onto the male pronouns almost as if it reflects badly on them to call me 'she' or 'her.' If it weren't for my job requirements, I would be in dresses or skirts mostly so it is less likely to hear that crud. Guess I don't have that inner strength part down yet.
Moni