Susan's Place Transgender Resources

How do you feel about your boy pictures? im still in boy mode and everything, kinda hate my pictures if ever im on a dating site i feel really insecure about posting a picture of myself....

I don't use them anymore. I'm the same- in boy mode right now. My family is slowly catching on but I don't see them much. Work is work I don't think they care lol which is good because I can focus on other things

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They don't really bother me much. I don't really have pictures where I looked like a boy. I was very androgynous looking most of my life. Once my mom asked my boyfriend if he wanted to see a picture of me as a boy. He said no he didn't but she shoved it in his face anyway. He asked if I was supposed to be a boy in the picture and my mom told him yes. He said I looked almost the same and that I was even wearing makeup. Thankfully he didn't think I looked like a boy at all or it could have been very embarrassing. That's what my mom was hoping for when she made him look at the picture.

Quote from: Christy Lee on December 30, 2017, 03:31:43 AM
How do you feel about your boy pictures?

I think 'boy mode' is under-rated, can be great there's nothing more gratifying than being mistakenly ma'am'd while otherwise avoiding all the connotations that male society often attributes to 'women in general'.  My fav attitude is "your bad not mine" and as I laugh off teasing observations by co-workers I invoke female privilege, feeling "different" and "special", every chance I get!!

In primarily enjoying, seeking out the attention of "other guys" not real interested in what "cis females" think. Hate self-pictures due older age, constantly work on appearing more "healthy & youthful". What girl doesn't???

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 30, 2017, 07:24:34 AM
They don't really bother me much. I don't really have pictures where I looked like a boy. I was very androgynous looking most of my life. Once my mom asked my boyfriend if he wanted to see a picture of me as a boy. He said no he didn't but she shoved it in his face anyway. He asked if I was supposed to be a boy in the picture and my mom told him yes. He said I looked almost the same and that I was even wearing makeup. Thankfully he didn't think I looked like a boy at all or it could have been very embarrassing. That's what my mom was hoping for when she made him look at the picture.

Ive been confused as a woman before in boy mode more than once, in person and on the phone

Quote from: Kiera on December 30, 2017, 08:00:23 AM
I think 'boy mode' is under-rated, can be great there's nothing more gratifying than being mistakenly ma'am'd while otherwise avoiding all the connotations that male society often attributes to 'women in general'.  My fav attitude is "your bad not mine" and as I laugh off teasing observations by co-workers I invoke female privilege, feeling "different" and "special", every chance I get!!

In primarily enjoying, seeking out the attention of "other guys" not real interested in what "cis females" think. Hate self-pictures due older age, constantly work on appearing more "healthy & youthful". What girl doesn't???

Being called Ma'am is a trigger for me

Quote from: Allison S on December 30, 2017, 05:08:02 AM
I don't use them anymore. I'm the same- in boy mode right now. My family is slowly catching on but I don't see them much. Work is work I don't think they care lol which is good because I can focus on other things

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I only care what my mum thinks, im currently unemployed so i dont currently have to worry about that but i do still live at home which is a problem... 

I am 37, so I have lots of boy pics out there. To be honest it is still part of me and I can't ignore it even though sometime I want to. Though no one said I couldn't start new profiles. Right now it seems like almost a whole different person in those pics. I am slowly updating my pics to my identity.I know some that burn every boy pic of them but, I think we need to have confidence in ourselves fully and be able to share with people things we tend to wish to forget. Like think if you have a spouse what will you tell them when they ask to see your baby pics or kid pics, oh I am sorry I threw them all out. You will make them sad. Doesn't mean you need them plastered on the net though you can always just keep hard copies of them.

I don't like to see recent boy picts.  Those really bother me.  It makes me think nothing is working and that I hate that person.  When I see much older picts of myself, I'm fine though.  Those feel like a different person now, and life was simpler, happier back then.

Bari Jo

Boy pictures show me how much things have changed.  I was sorting through decades of pictures of my family yesterday, without tears surprisingly.  I found one that was of a situation that happened 30 years prior and I was smiling but my eyes! My eyes were anything but.

In my opinion, old pictures tell the story of our lives.  The ups and the downs; good times and bad.  I'm personally one who never runs from the past because to understand my past is to understand me.

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I kind of feel indifferent about them now. I have more of a problem with post-hrt, pre-passing photos. Eww, eww, eww! Most of the older pictures seem unreal. I can't see myself in them for the most part. I blanked out for so many years, not really being present, that I don't have any memory of the time. What was I thinking, what was I feeling, what were my goals? No clue. When my dysphoria was at it's worst I didn't really allow pictures taken of me. You would think that I would be happy or proud of the muscle that I had in high school and the army but I did not then and still don't. It was a byproduct of my life and not something that I wanted.

Some of them are funny. The pictures of me with girls. :) It has been so long since I've even pretended that I was interested in women that it makes me laugh to see the pictures.

Some of them are very sad. In the fall of 88' when I joined the army my fingernails were a half inch long and my hair came to my bellybutton. I cut my nails the morning I left and obviously lost all my hair that day as well. Sadistic bastard shaved half of my head and went out to smoke a cigarette leaving me staring in horror at the mirror fighting crying. Might not seem sad but that was the day that I accepted that I could never be a girl. It felt like I had died. The pictures at 11-15 were worse, they make me cry. It was everything, sexual abuse, puberty changing me from a girl to a boy, telling my family and the fallout, hospital, mental hospitals, foster care. None of that would probably be that bad but I despised having my picture taken then and the few that exist are group photos with my family. They are almost unbelievable, how could all of them be so happy and I be so sad? I wish I could hug that child and say that everything will be okay one day. You will have good and bad between now and then but all of your dreams and hopes will one day come true.

I talk too much huh? 😊

I don't know what to do with them to be honest. They mean nothing to me but they are the story of my life, good and bad, and I don't want to forget everything.

I hate old pictures of me after the age of 10-12. I mean, really, truly despise them. I always did, even before coming clean with myself which is why there are so few of them (though it seems like a no brainer the reason I hated them to begin with was the unconscious trans issues). Depression weight and beard, massive psoriasis, and early balding due to both psoriasis and genetics means they aren't pretty. People tell me not to worry, and say that I look nice and kind and all that. But then so does Santa Claus, so that doesn't mean a whole lot. More recent pictures after shaving and weight loss don't bother me because I can see the potential I never could for so many years, and right now that potential is what keeps me going.

I hate all of my boy pics I have delete most of the digital ones I never want to see them again there was very few I hated to have my picture taken before in now I don't seem to mind.

Quote from: Christy Lee on December 30, 2017, 03:31:43 AM
How do you feel about your boy pictures? im still in boy mode and everything, kinda hate my pictures if ever im on a dating site i feel really insecure about posting a picture of myself....

I don't have any.

I guess maybe partly subconsciously I hated them, any of them. But more I'm just not photogenic. At all. Cameras melt around me. Like literally melt. I can't explain it. One minute it's there, and the next it's just a puddle of goo. *nods*

Quote from: Christy Lee on December 30, 2017, 03:31:43 AM
How do you feel about your boy pictures? im still in boy mode and everything, kinda hate my pictures if ever im on a dating site i feel really insecure about posting a picture of myself....

I really do not like my boy pics one single bit. When I was younger I really didn't want to take my senior pictures, but my mother forced me. Even today when I go to functions like marriages or holidays the person walking around with the camera excites a great deal of anxiety in me. It's rough.

Quote from: Shadowsister on December 31, 2017, 02:42:14 PM
I really do not like my boy pics one single bit. When I was younger I really didn't want to take my senior pictures, but my mother forced me. Even today when I go to functions like marriages or holidays the person walking around with the camera excites a great deal of anxiety in me. It's rough.

Family pictures during the holiday were killing me. I refused to take any solo pictures outright, and would only do group stuff that it would be weird if I didn't.

Quote from: Christy Lee on December 30, 2017, 08:14:07 AM
Being called Ma'am is a trigger for me

Christy why so?? "Sir" and "ma'am" is a very Southern Thing where I come from, StandOpPro??

Would hate to be referred to as "a shiela" (even if a positive compliment? )

Quote from: urban dictionary#shiela#pretty#girl name#friendly#smart

Quote from: Kiera on January 01, 2018, 08:02:33 AM
Christy why so?? "Sir" and "ma'am" is a very Southern Thing where I come from, SOP??

My sister called a customer "ma'am" at her job, and the woman was extremely offended. Tourists. :-X  ;D (I'm in SE Georgia, so assuming anyone who was offended by that isn't from the area. ;D)

But yeah, it's very regional on that one.

Hated them. I see a  kid who looked like other boys but with dead eyes, dead inside.

Quote from: Christy Lee on December 30, 2017, 03:31:43 AM
How do you feel about your boy pictures? im still in boy mode and everything, kinda hate my pictures if ever im on a dating site i feel really insecure about posting a picture of myself....

I still have mine.  Some are even on display in my living room, from special occasions: university graduation, air force "hero" shot, wedding photo.  I have no antipathy towards my former self: he was me.  He did okay in his life, and he set me up to be who I am today.  (Okay, he could have stepped aside sooner, but I'm not going to quibble.)  I'm kind of proud of him.

I am more sensitive to seeing my dead name in print.  I might ask my university to re-print my degree with my new name, because it bothers me to see it hanging there.

The discrepancy is a bit weird now that I think about it, how the pictures don't bother me but the name does.  Oh, well, the mind does weird things now and then.

Quote from: Bari Jo on December 30, 2017, 08:27:27 AM
I don't like to see recent boy picts.  Those really bother me. When I see much older picts of myself, I'm fine though.  Those feel like a different person now, and life was simpler, happier back then.

Barbi Jo, me too. I get strong face dysphoria from all photos. Some mirrors are okay, but not all. For some reason my bathroom mirror is the kindest ... I'm lucky to have it. When looking at old photos of myself I feel a disconnect with the person and don't want to associate with the image. The face seems foreign to the woman inside of me.

Lindy

I can't say that I hate the pictures.  It's more like I'm looking at a picture of someone else.


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Quote from: Roll on January 01, 2018, 08:11:22 AM
My sister called a customer "ma'am" at her job, and the woman was extremely offended. Tourists. :-X  ;D (I'm in SE Georgia, so assuming anyone who was offended by that isn't from the area. ;D)

But yeah, it's very regional on that one.

Though southern people talk funny I can't imagine any woman being offended by ma'am. I've hardly ever been called Ma'am. It's almost always "miss". And one pervy guy who called me " little girl".  I was teasing about southern people talking funny. Actually I find the accent cool. The lady next door has a deep southern accent. Some of the words she uses are funny. " over yonder " "I'm fixin to do it" " I took a notion to do (whatever) and calling children and young people " young uns". But it's not too hard to figure out what she means. Well for me anyway. When Tristan met her he had a little trouble understanding her with her southern accent and slang words and she had a little trouble understanding his Aussie accent and slang. It was the first time I had to interpret for 2 English speaking people. Lol

Quote from: Roll on January 01, 2018, 08:11:22 AM
But yeah, it's very regional on that one.

Is it??? By the same fuzzy logic "yes sir" isn't offensive? The military breaths & dies by this phrase, so what's the difference? Isn't a female officer still addressed as "sir"?

Quote from: Kiera on January 01, 2018, 01:03:56 PMIsn't a female officer still addressed as "sir"?

Not in the military I was in.  Sir for male officers, ma'am for female officers.

Quote from: Kiera on January 01, 2018, 08:02:33 AM
Christy why so?? "Sir" and "ma'am" is a very Southern Thing where I come from, StandOpPro??

Would hate to be referred to as "a shiela" (even if a positive compliment? )

Well i would like it, if i wasnt trying tot live my life as a boy at the times i have been called ma'am (usually on the phone) its very confusing

I hate my male photos. I was never comfortable in this body until I came out and started dressing for real. I've spent years scouring photos of me from the net and others socialmedia. I hated my looks so much.

I thought I would never pass, now I'm not so sure.

You know if I could just find a new job that paid as much as where I work I could try to go full time even though around here thats really risking alot. This is like one of the worst places.

The industry I work in is shrinking alot and fast, a huge company here just got bought out by a place down south. I think about moving south of here alot, it seems alot more inclusive and its bigger anyway.