Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: natalienicole24601 on January 01, 2018, 05:02:13 PM Return to Full Version
Title: How do you keep your transition on the down low early on?
Post by: natalienicole24601 on January 01, 2018, 05:02:13 PM
Post by: natalienicole24601 on January 01, 2018, 05:02:13 PM
https://sparkleblood.blogspot.com/2018/01/how-do-you-keep-your-transition-on-down.html
Title: Re: How do you keep your transition on the down low early on?
Post by: Cassi on January 01, 2018, 06:38:56 PM
Post by: Cassi on January 01, 2018, 06:38:56 PM
Pretty cool.
Title: Re: How do you keep your transition on the down low early on?
Post by: Allison S on January 01, 2018, 07:10:28 PM
Post by: Allison S on January 01, 2018, 07:10:28 PM
I think it's well written and shares your story but as someone who's transitioning in "stealth" I really didn't get any tips. My coworkers are looking at me strangely (I can tell) and my family is asking me questions. I deflect and just keep going about my life. I wouldn't dare keep my nail polish on to even go out. My sister notices that I wore eyeliner even a few days after I've already "cleared" it off!
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Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Title: Re: How do you keep your transition on the down low early on?
Post by: BT04 on January 01, 2018, 07:21:21 PM
Post by: BT04 on January 01, 2018, 07:21:21 PM
If I wind up fully transitioning, then I don't plan on coming out to any family until I've left the country and given my long-distance husband a little time to live with me and enjoy the body that I have right now. (That move is in the works and is a long time coming.)
But in the meantime, I've started wearing boxer briefs, I have a new binder waiting for me at home (been away for a week), and I'm openly letting my masculinity "all hang out" more than before. Not crossing my legs nearly as much, leaving my purse at home more often, and I've trimmed a few inches off my admittedly unisex quiff haircut.
I may or may not get asked any awkward questions. I don't think I did last time I explored a more masculine identity, though I rarely wore a binder around family, and was still very insecure about masculine behavior because of internalized misandry and other self-esteem issues I had. If I have to put on a dress between now and moving, that's OK, but I don't think I'll be wearing shorts again any time soon until I can figure out what kind of wardrobe I'm going to be comfortable with.
So the answer is... yes. My husband knows, my good friends will know, and that's it until I've put some distance between me and my family.
PS - Wish you'd stick around for the conversations resulting from your blog posts, Natalie Nicole! We've got interesting things to say, promise.
But in the meantime, I've started wearing boxer briefs, I have a new binder waiting for me at home (been away for a week), and I'm openly letting my masculinity "all hang out" more than before. Not crossing my legs nearly as much, leaving my purse at home more often, and I've trimmed a few inches off my admittedly unisex quiff haircut.
I may or may not get asked any awkward questions. I don't think I did last time I explored a more masculine identity, though I rarely wore a binder around family, and was still very insecure about masculine behavior because of internalized misandry and other self-esteem issues I had. If I have to put on a dress between now and moving, that's OK, but I don't think I'll be wearing shorts again any time soon until I can figure out what kind of wardrobe I'm going to be comfortable with.
So the answer is... yes. My husband knows, my good friends will know, and that's it until I've put some distance between me and my family.
PS - Wish you'd stick around for the conversations resulting from your blog posts, Natalie Nicole! We've got interesting things to say, promise.
Title: Re: How do you keep your transition on the down low early on?
Post by: natalienicole24601 on January 01, 2018, 08:37:14 PM
Post by: natalienicole24601 on January 01, 2018, 08:37:14 PM
Quote from: Allison S on January 01, 2018, 07:10:28 PM
I think it's well written and shares your story but as someone who's transitioning in "stealth" I really didn't get any tips. My coworkers are looking at me strangely (I can tell) and my family is asking me questions. I deflect and just keep going about my life. I wouldn't dare keep my nail polish on to even go out. My sister notices that I wore eyeliner even a few days after I've already "cleared" it off!
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Totally. I guess you are correct that this doesn't really include "tips" per se. I guess I just though sharing my personal journey would help in some way. I don't have tips, really. Everybody is different. All of our journeys will be different and have their own pace. Everything you are doing is totally fine and nothing has to happen before you are ready.
Title: Re: How do you keep your transition on the down low early on?
Post by: natalienicole24601 on January 01, 2018, 08:40:59 PM
Post by: natalienicole24601 on January 01, 2018, 08:40:59 PM
Quote from: BT04 on January 01, 2018, 07:21:21 PM
If I wind up fully transitioning, then I don't plan on coming out to any family until I've left the country and given my long-distance husband a little time to live with me and enjoy the body that I have right now. (That move is in the works and is a long time coming.)
But in the meantime, I've started wearing boxer briefs, I have a new binder waiting for me at home (been away for a week), and I'm openly letting my masculinity "all hang out" more than before. Not crossing my legs nearly as much, leaving my purse at home more often, and I've trimmed a few inches off my admittedly unisex quiff haircut.
I may or may not get asked any awkward questions. I don't think I did last time I explored a more masculine identity, though I rarely wore a binder around family, and was still very insecure about masculine behavior because of internalized misandry and other self-esteem issues I had. If I have to put on a dress between now and moving, that's OK, but I don't think I'll be wearing shorts again any time soon until I can figure out what kind of wardrobe I'm going to be comfortable with.
So the answer is... yes. My husband knows, my good friends will know, and that's it until I've put some distance between me and my family.
PS - Wish you'd stick around for the conversations resulting from your blog posts, Natalie Nicole! We've got interesting things to say, promise.
I'm here! I always read what everyone writes, but sometimes, I don't have anything to say back. Especially if it's a compliment which I still feel shy about getting. I assure you, I don't just drop these and then fly the coup. I'm very invested in what people are saying on here.
Thank you for sharing your story! It's amazing how similar they are. That's one of the things I'm really enjoying getting to know, is that no matter how different we are, our stories are still remarkably the same in many respects.