Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Had my first experience of an odd, and i suppose potentially more frequent, event today.  Went to the VA to start pre op tests for my SRS in early Feb. today.   Went dressed up all girl and looked nice and my wife came along.  First stop was lab for blood collection and it was very busy and as I'm the only trans person at my small town VA I was getting a bit concerned about them calling out "Mr. XXXXXXX in a room full of male vets.  I went to the window and quietly announced that I was trans and asked that they please call me as Ms..  They were fine with it, but before the nurse I talked to could tell anyone else, an attendant just called out my last name and I immediately responded and was treated very nicely.  While my wife and I were waiting a fellow vet I know well had come in and was getting blood work as well.  I was concerned that he might recognize my name, as he didn't give us a second look when he went to sit down.  He doesn't know about me, but apparently neither my name nor my being there physically caught his attention.  I should mention that he is a very kind guy, but I don't like to surprise people.  Seemed to have dodged a bullet.  Cool.
     So on we went to X Ray, were well received and sat down to wait.  My wife and I were talking when who should enter, but the same friend we saw at bloodwork!  He looked directly at both of us and said "hello Ladies" and went to the counter to check in.  Something was messed up in his schedule so he had to wait at the counter while the staff checked some stuff out, so he turned to us and recognized my wife and started talking with her about the Holidays, etc.  Then he asked which one of us was there for treatment and I smiled, sort of raised my hand and said "Me".  He nodded and turned back to my wife and asked "How's Tony?  He still working on his projects?" as though I wasn't there!  Then he turns to me and says "Which branch were you in?", I reply "Navy".  "When? he asks.  "Vietnam" I answer, looking straight at him and smiling.  "Nurse?" says he, I just slightly shake my head no.  "Technician?"  he asks.  I just say "yes" softly, still with a smile, and he just nods and turns back to the counter as the desk attendant had returned.  They had a short conversation and he turned and started to leave and wished both of us a good new year and walked out.  I felt like the invisible man.  He knows me well and my history, clearly recognized my wife, but never saw the old me.  Enough so that he asked about me as if I wasn't there and then talked to me as if I were a complete stranger.  A real head turner for my wife and I, but in the end, could I have asked for more?  Close enough to what I'm hoping for to really make my day.  Toni   

Good for you Sailor :)

Lovely story Toni. How long had it been since you had seen him before this?
Moni

I've had many contacts with the VA as Leslie and know most of the trans that go there because I see them in group.
There's usually at least one there while I'm there so usually someone to sit with. I'm supposed to be changed in the system as Leslie and that seems to be the case in urology, endo and psych departments but sometimes get called by the old name or "Mr. xyz" for everything else, which is a bummer. So, for now, if I'm not going to one of the departments that can't seem to get it right, I go as the old me. Which I hate. If I ever have both I'm screwed.

Good luck!

Leslie

What a great story! Congratulations...
Funny, I had someone a few houses down from us not recognizing me in a similar way: he was chatting with my wife, I was right next to her running after our kid and he ends the chat with "regards to your husband"... my wife was stunned and could not believe it.

I think that most people have tunnel vision and tend to see what the mind tells them they see and I think from my perspective that unless a person does something to draw attention to themselves people are too hung up doing their own thing to really see.

It's good to blend in sometimes :)

I love your story!

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Awesome Story!!

I love it when things like this happen.

I don't believe that could have gone any better than it did. That is amazing ....fantastic!

Thanks, all.  Just goes to show that this is a journey full of surprises, enough to keep me wanting to do continued reality checks.  But some days I'm not sure what reality is!  Moni, I'd run into him last around Thanksgiving, even gave each other a guy hug.  My wife says she can see that I keep changing a lot even though I'm too close to notice as much, other stuff going on in my head.  I guess I'm getting to the point that it's not just looking girl (mostly I pass, sometimes not at first with a "sir" greeting, then oddly, the departure almost always is "m'am") but the mannerisms and such have become so strong and natural that unless you get real close all you see is a female.  Sometimes I feel like I'm swimming in a whirlpool.  Toni

Toni,
   Don't worry after you get more used to everything, the whirlpool becomes a very pleasant hot tub.
Moni