Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone, I have a couple questions some of them may be a little dumb but I have no idea,

Dating, how do act on a first date with a guy as a female? I have never ever dated a guy period I don't want to blow it, I have only ever dated females and I was a player as I have been called multiple times. I don't want to be that same person any more. How does dating as female work? First kiss how does that work when do you kiss?  Body language?
Sorry I feel totally dumb for these questions but so confused and I want to try to be perfect. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated Thank you :)

I have a bit of exoerience dating men.  It was mainly as a femme boy, but I think it applies.  I'd flirt with your eyes.  Bat tyour eyelashes, give glances, be bashful, learn to laugh in your role, and hold hands.  I enjoy hand holding, always have.  Let him lead, in ordering taking you through crowds.  Think how lucky he is to have you:)

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on January 10, 2018, 08:10:58 PM
I have a bit of exoerience dating men.  It was mainly as a femme boy, but I think it applies.  I'd flirt with your eyes.  Bat tyour eyelashes, give glances, be bashful, learn to laugh in your role, and hold hands.  I enjoy hand holding, always have.  Let him lead, in ordering taking you through crowds.  Think how lucky he is to have you:)

Bari Jo

Ok perfect I will do that thank you Bari Jo

Well first of all don't worry about being "perfect". Just be yourself. If you're nervous and stressed he will pick up on it and he will be too. There aren't really specific rules for dating but I will share my own "rules" for dating with you.

1. Never assume the guy is going to pay for everything. Always be sure you have money with you.

2. Spend more time listening to him rather than talking a lot. Guys find a girl who talks non stop annoying.

3. Don't be loud. Guys don't like that in a girl.

4. Even if he says something you know isn't right or says something totally stupid, don't correct him. Guys hate having a girl correcting them all the time.

5. Act like a lady. Use proper female etiquette.  Sit with your legs crossed,  put your napkin in your lap, don't burp, don't fart, pick your nose or teeth,etc.

6. Don't try to dominate the conversation. Let him stear the conversation and even if what he's talking about is a total sleeping pill, pay attention to him. If by chance you like sports it's ok to talk about that with him. For some reason a lot of guys find a girl who likes sports a turn on.

7. Make eye contact with him and smile a lot. Even if they're dumb act amused at his jokes.

8. Guys love to impress a girl. They will brag about any number of skills they have, sports, martial arts, etc. Even if they brag about something totally bone headed, act impressed.

9. Guys also like to show off. If you notice him flexing his muscles, etc, tell him he looks good, has a nice body, whatever. Most guys like having their male egos stroked.

10. If you're going to dinner with him eat beforehand. Then order something like a salad or something lite. A lot of guys find a girl who eats a lot a turn off. You can pig out in front of him once he's your boyfriend but on your first few dinners with him don't eat like a horse. And order "neat" food. By that I mean food that's not messy and that can be eaten with silverware. Gnawing on a chicken bone or diving into a pile of ribs and covering your face and hands with sauce won't win you any sexy points with a guy. Also, if you order drinks have a glass of wine or something, not beer. Sucking down a bottle of beer won't win you any sexy points either usually.

11. If you're going to play pool or bowling with a guy, even if you are far better at it than your date, let him win. Or at least don't school him and humiliate him. Guys can be hostile about that.

12. With kissing let the guy initiate it. Allow him to pull your lips to him. And don't be aggressive with him. By that I mean dont grab him by the back of his head and shove your tongue down his throat. Let him be in control. And don't grab his junk. That's fine once he's your boyfriend but not on your first or second date. It's not ladylike. In my experience once a guy gets turned on he will take your hand and put it on his junk himself.

13. Guys like to brag about their dicks.  Even if it's nothing special tell him it's nice. And even if you need reading glasses to find it, NEVER tell a guy his dick is small. And god forbid don't laugh at it. Few things really piss  a guy off like making fun of his junk or criticizing it.

Good luck.

Oh, and before anyone gets upset by anything I just wrote I point out these are MY dating rules. I'm not saying other women have to follow them.

OMG Julia! This is perfect. I have to admit I laughed a lot during reading. Guys are a funny breed :D

Quote from: Julia1996 on January 11, 2018, 01:34:19 PM
Well first of all don't worry about being "perfect". Just be yourself. If you're nervous and stressed he will pick up on it and he will be too. There aren't really specific rules for dating but I will share my own "rules" for dating with you.

1. Never assume the guy is going to pay for everything. Always be sure you have money with you.

2. Spend more time listening to him rather than talking a lot. Guys find a girl who talks non stop annoying.

3. Don't be loud. Guys don't like that in a girl.

4. Even if he says something you know isn't right or says something totally stupid, don't correct him. Guys hate having a girl correcting them all the time.

5. Act like a lady. Use proper female etiquette.  Sit with your legs crossed,  put your napkin in your lap, don't burp, don't fart, pick your nose or teeth,etc.

6. Don't try to dominate the conversation. Let him stear the conversation and even if what he's talking about is a total sleeping pill, pay attention to him. If by chance you like sports it's ok to talk about that with him. For some reason a lot of guys find a girl who likes sports a turn on.

7. Make eye contact with him and smile a lot. Even if they're dumb act amused at his jokes.

8. Guys love to impress a girl. They will brag about any number of skills they have, sports, martial arts, etc. Even if they brag about something totally bone headed, act impressed.

9. Guys also like to show off. If you notice him flexing his muscles, etc, tell him he looks good, has a nice body, whatever. Most guys like having their male egos stroked.

10. If you're going to dinner with him eat beforehand. Then order something like a salad or something lite. A lot of guys find a girl who eats a lot a turn off. You can pig out in front of him once he's your boyfriend but on your first few dinners with him don't eat like a horse. And order "neat" food. By that I mean food that's not messy and that can be eaten with silverware. Gnawing on a chicken bone or diving into a pile of ribs and covering your face and hands with sauce won't win you any sexy points with a guy. Also, if you order drinks have a glass of wine or something, not beer. Sucking down a bottle of beer won't win you any sexy points either usually.

11. If you're going to play pool or bowling with a guy, even if you are far better at it than your date, let him win. Or at least don't school him and humiliate him. Guys can be hostile about that.

12. With kissing let the guy initiate it. Allow him to pull your lips to him. And don't be aggressive with him. By that I mean dont grab him by the back of his head and shove your tongue down his throat. Let him be in control. And don't grab his junk. That's fine once he's your boyfriend but not on your first or second date. It's not ladylike. In my experience once a guy gets turned on he will take your hand and put it on his junk himself.

13. Guys like to brag about their dicks.  Even if it's nothing special tell him it's nice. And even if you need reading glasses to find it, NEVER tell a guy his dick is small. And god forbid don't laugh at it. Few things really piss  a guy off like making fun of his junk or criticizing it.

Good luck.

Oh, and before anyone gets upset by anything I just wrote I point out these are MY dating rules. I'm not saying other women have to follow them.

So what you're saying is don't go to medieval times, eat a giant turkey leg with your hands while screaming that the green knight is so much hotter than the dude you're with, then proceed to fart loudly and grab his crotch. This will be tough.

Quote from: Roll on January 11, 2018, 02:17:23 PM
So what you're saying is don't go to medieval times, eat a giant turkey leg with your hands while screaming that the green knight is so much hotter than the dude you're with, then proceed to fart loudly and grab his crotch. This will be tough.

😂😂😂  That is hilarious!! I really love your sense of humor.

If you're interested in casual dating/sex then go with Julia's advice. If you are looking for a long term relationship, I'd suggest avoid hidding things about you (like how much you eat, or drink, sports you're good at...). There are many ways of catching someones attention, and you should do so with someone that will tolerate most of your behaviour.

I would think it might be easier to let him know your trans status before or after the first date (or at least before you are gone to the 2nd base), unless you are totally sure of your safety...

Meet for that first date somewhere in a public place where you know you're safe. Don't give your home address or invite him home for the first date either, or the person you barely know might show up with his concealed carry gun... or bring his buddies to beat and rape you, or start stalking you... or whatever.

Let someone else know you're on a date with so and so (and have some identifying information on him - at least his car plates).

And what Julia said during the date, I guess



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Quote from: elkie-t on January 11, 2018, 04:19:49 PM
I would think it might be easier to let him know your trans status before or after the first date (or at least before you are gone to the 2nd base), unless you are totally sure of your safety...

Meet for that first date somewhere in a public place where you know you're safe. Don't give your home address or invite him home for the first date either, or the person you barely know might show up with his concealed carry gun... or bring his buddies to beat and rape you, or start stalking you... or whatever.

Let someone else know you're on a date with so and so (and have some identifying information on him - at least his car plates).

And what Julia said during the date, I guess



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Everything I suggested was for a date with a guy who knows your trans. If it's just a casual date I guess it would be ok but before you get into anything more intimate I would suggest you tell him first. It's just too dangerous not to. That's one surprise that could get you hurt or even killed.

I second what ELkie-t and Lady Lisandra said. It's fine and dandy if you are just doing it for fun or a one or two or three night stand, but eventually if he doesn't know you are trans you should consider letting him know. It is kind of helpful. Also, consider how long you can act a certain way that isn't your norm. If you try to be someone's perfect date then be sure it's something you can do often as it is likely that what you impress him with will be what he expects and if you fail to meet those expectations....

Thank you every one for the advice, The guy that wants to date me does know i am trans as he visits his grandma where I work, and on the dating sites that I am on all say Transgender in the title so no worries there. I will not eat my favorite food which is chicken wings though because even as a male I am a mess with them and I don't really like beer so that is not a worry I actually always liked girly fruity drinks. I am not really looking for one night stand thing I want some one I can fall in love with, I know that this may be the first of many but I don't want to be easy. It is so different because yes a lot of stuff that Julia said about a guy is stuff that I did to try to impress. When I was male I would do or say anything as that is what I thought guys where supposed to do. Now I am on the other side and just want love total love. I am just nervous as this is my first date as a female so I just want to fit the part. Again I thank every one I have been studying this so I hope not to mess up to bad. :)

I'm no help at all. As a guy I hid. Talking to girls with whom I had a interest scared the jeebies out of me. Unnerved, that's me. With my now 'coming out' scenario .. I'm already married so dating isn't as scary.

speaking of .. I think it's time to ask my wife out on a date, again.

Natalie!!!

After a lifetime of relationships with women... I met the love of my life... My husband, on a dating site with Transgender in the title.... All will be well sister!!!... My only advice right now is relax, enjoy and give yourself over to all the experience will bring...

Onward we go brave sister!!!

Ashley 😀❤️🌻

Honestly after a life time of playing a role, dont seek to play another one. For the first time you can genuinely be you, The REAL you, on a date. Dont fall into yet another trope of whats expectd of you from a romatic stand point. All the things you wanted to be before but never could, be that girl not someone elses idea of a girl. Do you.

There are no rules about this, certainly none anyone should follow.

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Can a guy answer this too?

For me, girls or guys being them selves make my heart tic harder. No playing roles or faking things. Natural people are attractive.

Be natural, be yourself. Don't mess with playing someone you are not.

If the guy does not like it, he is no boyfriend matrial. You can't pretend being someone you are not in the long run.

This does not mean you should eat like a slob at a restaurant.

Laughing and smiling is also attractive.



Tony