Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So recently I thought I made a decent friend. Unfortunately she turned out to one of the most negative self hating transwoman I've met yet. She wasn't taking her hrt properly so I'm wondering if that's the possible reason for her talking so bad about there being no transgender community and that we all hate each other and all sorts of crazy conspiracy theories. Absolutely worshipped Info Wars and Alex Jones and even taking info wars supplements. She was almost violently reacting to sjw's and anything not supported by Alex Jones. A huge fan of Trump and just a complete paradox to me. I even repeatedly said that I was and am a registered Independent and that I really wasn't that deep into politics and that most conspiracy was entertainment and that I didn't want to argue about her views. She was taking zinc and I know zinc raises testosterone plus she didn't have her spiro and wouldn't take barr estradiol because she said they were part of a "Jewish Conspiracy" (sic) which is absolutely crazy to me. Anyways I told her I had a lot of stuff to take care of in my life and I didnt have time to be friends. A day after I felt so good that I never have to deal with such strong negative emotions from her again. I wanted to help so bad but it was too much for me.

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Quote from: thunderskaldsmoy on January 15, 2018, 10:41:57 PM
So recently I thought I made a decent friend. Unfortunately she turned out to one of the most negative self hating transwoman I've met yet. She wasn't taking her hrt properly so I'm wondering if that's the possible reason for her talking so bad about there being no transgender community and that we all hate each other and all sorts of crazy conspiracy theories. Absolutely worshipped Info Wars and Alex Jones and even taking info wars supplements. She was almost violently reacting to sjw's and anything not supported by Alex Jones. A huge fan of Trump and just a complete paradox to me. I even repeatedly said that I was and am a registered Independent and that I really wasn't that deep into politics and that most conspiracy was entertainment and that I didn't want to argue about her views. She was taking zinc and I know zinc raises testosterone plus she didn't have her spiro and wouldn't take barr estradiol because she said they were part of a "Jewish Conspiracy" (sic) which is absolutely crazy to me. Anyways I told her I had a lot of stuff to take care of in my life and I didnt have time to be friends. A day after I felt so good that I never have to deal with such strong negative emotions from her again. I wanted to help so bad but it was too much for me.

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She sounds like a piece of work.  You don't need friends so badly that you need her.  Refer her to help if you can, and move on.

Quote from: rmaddy on January 16, 2018, 01:36:38 AM
She sounds like a piece of work.  You don't need friends so badly that you need her.  Refer her to help if you can, and move on.

Thank you! I offered her help and she wouldn't accept. I have other friends but mostly all ciswomen and that's not an issue but it's nice to be around other transwomen too. I'm an aries an introvert and an infj from myers-briggs. I'm either silent and shy or outspoken and blunt. Your entirely right I didn't need her negativity and I'm glad I ended all contact.

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Keeping negativity out of your life is a great way to improve your life.  I applaud you having the courage to say "no thanks, I'm too busy."

We are, and can become like those we hang around with.
It is proven that we earn at a level our friends earn at and our minds are like computers where correct imput is critical to well-being, health and happiness.
I live in West Michigan where I wouldn't dare come out and only my local doctors and wife know about my transition.
I had to drive 70 miles northeast to find a therapist who understood and was willing to help me.
It is lonely living like this because we are social creatures.
That is why Susans.org is so important to all of us so we have an outlet to ask questions and learn from our sisters.
Stay here and keep connecting, and when you can, keep on asking and answering questions.
There is a lot of love here and anyone with children knows that love has no bounds, and is infinite when it comes to opening another "room-of-love" for a new person.

thunderskaldsmoy,

Yup, your friend seems like she is headed towards a meltdown, if she couldn't agree to disagree on those issues, with civility. This online forum is great, since we all know we are all disbursed across vast regions of the gloeb, have our busy lives and is hard to connect when need be(i.e. I know it is for me).

Best to cut and run from friends like that, toxic people I call them, regardless of gender or ethnicity.

It sounds like you made the right choice. You can't be responsible for other people's health and happiness (at least, not in situations like this). Maybe some day she'll pull her head out of her arse, but that's totally up to her. Best to cut things off and not let the negativity bring you down.

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Welcome Aboard Thunder!!!

You've found a great place here to make friends!!! The weight of negativity only serves to weigh you down and the journey is far... Gather up hope instead... It is light as a feather and you can keep it in your heart to share with those you meet along the way, if they misplace theirs... ❤️

Onward we go!!!

Ashley 😀

Thanks all of you for being supportive! We we're just playing electric guitar acoustically for a few hours on a weekend. It seemed like after a good hour plus of her being the most negative person I've ever met... (and I thought I owned that title until I met her...) She would ease up and seem like she was calming down and trying to find her internal center of balance. But I'm not one to like to see unnecessary self destructive tendencies! When they can so easily be avoided by staying away from disgusting and accusational b.s. on YouTube against all transgender people. I tried sooo hard to just get her subtly balanced! Only for my sanity for the few hours of guitar playing. I got kicked from my band and my home city for being who I am. So having made metal maniacs magazine's firing squad for my other old band I wanted the music sooo bad. I miss writing good technical nwosdm music! Only I didn't want to use the traditional shock lyrics or anything negative. I'm an empath and it jolts me to the core when I'm legitimately shaking because the frequency I'm feeling is so self destructive or negative. But heavy music doesn't have to be about evil things. There's so much other ground to cover specially for two 36 year old transwomen. The next days after cutting that cord I felt unbelievably good again! My vibes where high and light[emoji56] I can't help but wonder if she's truly going to be okay. I hope so with every beat of my heart [emoji175] I'm just glad I was strong enough to deal with it.

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Toxic people are like rust, if they don't get polished right, it will create rust/toxicity in your life too.

Quote from: SonadoraXVX on January 17, 2018, 06:28:55 AM
Toxic people are like rust, if they don't get polished right, it will create rust/toxicity in your life too.

Very True... The last year and a half of my life I've been slowly weeding out all the negative, narcissistic and drug abusing so called friends I've made and have no shortage of people who have already or are on their way to my chopping block...Lol...I have to... in order to better myself and attain my life goals.[emoji52]

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Quote from: thunderskaldsmoy on January 17, 2018, 09:59:31 AM
Very True... The last year and a half of my life I've been slowly weeding out all the negative, narcissistic and drug abusing so called friends I've made and have no shortage of people who have already or are on their way to my chopping block...Lol...I have to... in order to better myself and attain my life goals.[emoji52]

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  Hi  thunderskaldsmoy,

   I'm Laurie, I see that you are new here. I also see that somehow you have been sneaking around here for more than 2 weeks without being greeted. I'm sorry we took so long to do so. So please let me say, Welcome To Susan's Place! Come on in and take a good look around.  Perhaps I can even get you to hop on over to the Introductions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) Thread and  create a post to tell us a little bit more about yourself so we can get to know you a little better and greet you properly. I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there.
 
Laurie
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Laurie@susans.org

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Did she say the chemicals they were putting in the water were turning us all trans?

Quote from: Viktor on January 18, 2018, 02:54:54 AM
Did she say the chemicals they were putting in the water were turning us all trans?

Wait, that's not true? ;D

Of course that's obnoxious, but I get peeved by trans advocates who assert a definite reason why transgender origin arises or who assert that everyone who is trans was "born that way".  I don't think that either of those propositions is known with any great degree of confidence.  And, we don't need either to be true to assert our dignity as human beings and our entitlement to equal protection under the law.

Quote from: Viktor on January 18, 2018, 02:54:54 AM
Did she say the chemicals they were putting in the water were turning us all trans?

Yup

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Quote from: Viktor on January 18, 2018, 02:54:54 AM
Did she say the chemicals they were putting in the water were turning us all trans?

Yup

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Quote from: rmaddy on January 18, 2018, 09:36:39 AM
Wait, that's not true? ;D

Of course that's obnoxious, but I get peeved by trans advocates who assert a definite reason why transgender origin arises or who assert that everyone who is trans was "born that way".  I don't think that either of those propositions is known with any great degree of confidence.  And, we don't need either to be true to assert our dignity as human beings and our entitlement to equal protection under the law.

Why at this late date, is there limited data. The first surgical transition happened in the thirty's. But coming up with data to backup theories is very difficult. Just like marijuana, little research because it would disprove all the patent lies that have been disseminated. I don't recall seeing anyone here, admit they are transitioning because they want to. But I have seen many testaments that the feeling of being different  began with "I realized at five or six"

Quote from: DawnOday on January 18, 2018, 11:25:35 AM

I don't recall seeing anyone here, admit they are transitioning because they want to. But I have seen many testaments that the feeling of being different  began with "I realized at five or six"

People tell the stories that suit them best.  There is plausible gain to saying "I was born this way", because only a monster blames an infant, but adults are frequently stigmatized for gender variance.  Might there not be some pressure to assert a congenital condition? 

None of us know how we felt at birth.  Few of us remember anything more than a concrete event (e.g. "the birthday party where Susie cut her lip") before six.  We certainly don't have clean recollection of our emotional state at that point, nor of what we had resolved.  Most six year olds haven't resolved much of anything--they just do what they are told, including wearing whatever clothes that mom laid out on the bed.

If someone says they clearly recall that they were "in the wrong body"--which itself is nothing more than a metaphor--I am inclined to believe them, or at least convey to them an affirmation that they are in charge of their autobiography.  Nevertheless, it is puzzling to me why so many of us:

1.  Are well into adulthood before we connect the dots.
2.  Describe years of struggle with guilt.
3.  Thrived, at least in the opinion of those who observed us, in the wrong gender role.
4.  Benefit from counseling.
5.  Gradually become open to a broader array of treatment options.

All of this fits better *(in my opinion) in the framework of an evolutionary process than a birth event.  Simply saying "born this way, but in denial" is so vague and unchallengeable that it begins to sound more like an excuse and less like an explanation.  What cannot be falsified cannot be proven.  I prefer to say "I don't know" when I don't.  I do not believe that my human dignity depends on my identical being pre-ordained or devoid of any choice whatsoever.  All I know is that by the time I was old enough to chart my own course, I already felt helpless to do anything whatsoever about the conviction that I was, or at least ought to, be female, and that everything I tried just made me neurotic and miserable.