Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello,

first of all, sorry for perhaps inappropriate terms, i'm not a native english speaker.

My short story:
My whole life i thought i was a transvestite, gladly wearing skirts, dresses etc., beginning at the age of ~7.
Since puberty i liked female clothes (of no certain styles) and in my whole life i had only 2 times
sex with women (which i didn't like at all, i felt out of position and ridiculous - which is why i didn't look after woman since these experiences). In puberty i felt shame after orgasm and put off the clothes but during my later life i lost this shame so that i gladly wear female clothes independent of arousal (so i think i'm not fetishist).
I love the female body but do not want to have sex with it.
But i neither like sex with men and i'm sure i'm not gay (in very rare situations i have submissive phantasies with men having oral sex).
So i cannot have sexual partners since 10 years now.
Since ~20 years now i feel more and more discomfort with my male body; ~ 8 years ago i started removing my beard with laser (i don't have any beard anymore) and in the last years i temporarily took small amounts of estrogens (and i like the results). I love going outside in female clothes (without arousal).
I'd say i'm M2F transsexual if i hadn't those sexual phantasies since childhood:
I love the idea of "Petticoat Punishment" (but i never experienced it). Rarely i'm aroused by porn (envisioning me in the female role) or by ladies with beautiful legs but the constant phantasy in my life is PP.
I know, nobody can give me a diagnosis, but i'd be glad to hear opinions about my story.
Is "Petticoat Punishment" like a fetish for me, or is it compatible with transsexualism? I always read about PP in connection with transvestism, crossdressing, etc.

Kind Regards
Lizzy

Hello Lizzy, thank you for joining Susan's. 

I don't have good answers for everything in your post, but I did realize I preferred wearing female clothing at a young age (I am MtF).  And I completed beard removal before starting an HRT prescription, which I think was a great decision in my case. 

Since this was your first post I'll add information we like to provide to all new members.  Susan's is a unique site, it's essential to understand the guidelines.  Also the following information can save time with initial navigation.

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All the best,

Kendra

Welcome to Susan's Place. You are the only one who can determine if you are transgender however I have seen that MTFs often have excessive fantasies as the results of testosterone. Under normal HRT, blockers tend to reduce testosterone levels and fantasies as well. Some of our members report that their interest in porn has pretty well faded and their interest were more normal. I recommend you consider discussing this with a gender therapist as they can help you determine if what you feel is ->-bleeped-<- and your future should be like.

Hi Dena,

yes i already thought about a therapist but i am unsure how therapists "detect" transsexualism when i am not sure if i am. In other words: i hesitate to say "yeah i am transsexual" because of my phantasies. I do not know why i have those phantasies; i only read everywhere "PP == fetishistic transvestitism", so this is a barrier for me to say that i'm TS. I can go to the therapist and tell him "I'm not sure if i am TS because of my phantasies" and he'll possibly reply "So i cannot help you because you must know if you are TS or not. Bye and good luck."  ::)

So the reason of my post was the hope other people have an idea where those phantasies come from.

Quote from: Dena on January 16, 2018, 05:40:03 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. You are the only one who can determine if you are transgender however I have seen that MTFs often have excessive fantasies as the results of testosterone. Under normal HRT, blockers tend to reduce testosterone levels and fantasies as well. Some of our members report that their interest in porn has pretty well faded and their interest were more normal. I recommend you consider discussing this with a gender therapist as they can help you determine if what you feel is ->-bleeped-<- and your future should be like.

They detect it by you telling them you are.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

it is possible to be transsexual and to have a forced feminization/petticoat punishment kink

How do they tell if your transgender? Try looking at  "the transition channel"  (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) and you will get an idea what a therapy session is like. These sessions are more structured for transsexualism but the same process would apply to exploring other parts of your personality.

In another thread on the same topic I wrote that

QuoteFrom what I've read the earliest print instances of what we know as forced feminization are from the late 19th century, so this is nothing new.  Whether our community is more interested in fantasies of this type is an interesting question. I've read that transsexuals were more active than the cis population in the BDSM community in the 80s, but this was in all likelihood simply because people were lonely and members of an outcast sexual community, and turned to other sexual minorities simply for companionship.

Private fantasies and desires question - warning mature content (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231555.0.html)

Quote from: Lucy Ross on January 17, 2018, 05:58:59 PM
Private fantasies and desires question - warning mature content (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231555.0.html)

Thank you, a very interesting thread. I always thought these phantasies are just a "fetish topic".