Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: punky_glitter on January 27, 2018, 04:19:43 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Coming out with new pronouns and new name
Post by: punky_glitter on January 27, 2018, 04:19:43 PM
Hi guys! So I've debated for a long time asking to have my name changed and I like my name now (patricia) but I think that a different name would be more fitting like Colbi or Ansel. But that;s not the most important part.
How do I come out as androgyne to my parents and people at school?
I use pronouns he him but people will assume that I'm FtM not androgyne and I don't want people to think I'm a boy because I'm not! How do I explain that I don't want all masculine words just some rather than others? And how do I help people understand because Its confusing for them? Thanks!  ;D
Title: Re: Coming out with new pronouns and new name
Post by: AgentVermont052 on January 27, 2018, 07:50:33 PM
I'm not out to everyone yet, but I am out to really close friends.

One thing that has really helped me when I've come out, and while I was going between identities trying to figure out who I was and how I identified, was being patient with them. I trust them and I love and care about my friends. But I know, because some are cis, that they won't immediately understand. The patience thing is hard, you'll want them to just get it right away. But being patient with also being there for them if they have questions is important :)

If they say something that is wrong or offensive, explain to them why it is wrong and why it is a bad thing to believe/think. I come across this a lot when I come out to acquaintances. They don't understand why their thinking is incorrect or offensive.

I use they/he pronouns and my friends use both and telling them I like both and can prefer both and not just one, helped them kind of understand. I suppose explain how you like some of the words but not all of them, or feel like they describe you, or how not all of them you identify with. And of course, be patient and helpful!

Hope that helps!
Title: Re: Coming out with new pronouns and new name
Post by: widdershins on January 27, 2018, 08:49:23 PM
At work I just sent out an email to my department with, "Here is my new legal name. Please use they/them pronouns." I've explained it to people who asked for further info with "I am medically transitioning because I feel like my body is wrong for me, but I consider myself non-binary because I don't identify entirely with masculine gender roles."

That said, I personally don't mind acquaintances assuming I'm FTM as long as they use the correct pronouns. I'll happily answer questions if someone actually cares enough to ask them, but my personal experience of gender is personal and not everyone needs to understand it. I just want to be left to do my own thing in peace.