Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Back on the 13th my parents discovered my hormones and have forced me to either stop or kick me me out since them it's been a total nightmare since and my parents are determined to stop me from ever transitioning and are back to the same abuse that I tried escaping from last summer.

I need a way out and I can't just sit around waiting to save up either I need to get out ASAP can anyone please help??

I would start with family or friends to see if they have an extra room or bed. If that doesn't work, maybe check with the local Transgender community. I would give you a place to stay, but I live across the country from you.

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Emily, I am so sorry to hear this.  AmyDane has good advice. 

In addition to friends, do you have relatives in other locations that might understand?  Moving away from local friends and your job or school may seem unthinkable, but your future and safety are most important.

Hi Emily,

I'm assuming they took your hrt away from you.  As a quick fix, I would get a new prescription and hide it better this time, maybe someplace outside of the house.   I would then concentrate on finding a new home.

I wouldn't normally suggest being deceptive but your parents are being rather nasty.

Do you have a therapist that can help you plan your next moves?

Take care,
Paige :)

I don't have any family that's understanding and no one in position to stay with I been asking around all month long and nothing.

My living situation has yet again turned abusive and there are no shelters and no resources to help either. Please again can anyone here help me find somewhere and I need to stick around Columbia/Spring Hill, TN for my job 

Quote from: Paige on January 30, 2018, 12:55:27 PM
Hi Emily,

I'm assuming they took your hrt away from you.  As a quick fix, I would get a new prescription and hide it better this time, maybe someplace outside of the house.   I would then concentrate on finding a new home.

I wouldn't normally suggest being deceptive but your parents are being rather nasty.

Do you have a therapist that can help you plan your next moves?

Take care,
Paige :)

I still have my hrt pills  thankfully I have them in my work locker now and unfortunately I have no access to a therapist that can help

How old are you? Because if your 26 like your profile says it's time to be on your own regardless of what's going on and especially living in a bad situation. I mean if you 15 you don't have many options. But at 26 and dealing with what you are get the hell out of there!!

You said you have a job so start looking for cheap housing with multiple roommates. With living with a couple people in a cheap place you should be able to get you rent down to under 500 a month.


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http://www.tvals.org/    Emily this is 37 miles away,   Hope they can help you.

There is no cheap housing even with room mates i cant even find anybody to room with or that'll rent to me

and I left the tvals because a couple members kept attacking me on Facebook

Please someone help  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Emily,

You could try at the local women's refuge, they may be able to help, or simply provide advise and they know the local district. Don't worry about anonymity, they will keep all your details confidential. They have to maintain a reputation for trustworthiness as a sanctuary.

Another odd, possible long shot is if one of the local churches is lgbtqa+ friendly then they might be able to help out (although no guarantees).

(Hugs)


Rowan

Quote from: Sno on January 30, 2018, 10:25:36 PM
Emily,

You could try at the local women's refuge, they may be able to help, or simply provide advise and they know the local district. Don't worry about anonymity, they will keep all your details confidential. They have to maintain a reputation for trustworthiness as a sanctuary.

Another odd, possible long shot is if one of the local churches is lgbtqa+ friendly then they might be able to help out (although no guarantees).

(Hugs)


Rowan

There's no women's refuge I don't think anything like that exists in Tennessee or even the U.S.??  Also none the churches in my area are accepting.

Oh and I've been given notice to get out yeah my parents have had it apparently I think I have like a week or two before I'm in the streets 

Try Center of Hope, a shelter in Columbia that includes trans populations in their profi

Already tried they're full and they stay full

Quote from: EmilyRyan on February 04, 2018, 12:53:12 PM
Already tried they're full and they stay full

I don't know about that place and I'm sorry you're going through all this. I recently went to a lgbtq shelter and they told me beds aren't always available. It could mean I may not get in when I need it most. But still you have to try. If you're 13-21 come to nyc (if you can) there's a few teen lgbtq shelters and they offer services. I'm sure most major cities have this but I know nyc. It's a bit of a process but it's doable. I can try to answer any questions you have if you need. Just let me know!

Edit: I just noticed your age and that's okay! I'm 27, mtf transgender. There's marsha's place in nyc for 21-30 if you end up here. That's where I was heading myself. I have the contact info if you need just message me- you can call them directly from wherever you are.

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I wish I could help but I live in a totally different state and don't have room here (just me and my dog in my studio apartment, even then it's already cramped!) But I do wish you luck and I'm sorry you're going through this. Nobody should be forced out on the streets just for being themselves. My condolences.

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Nothing is getting any better only worse I'm no longer safe at work as my mom came and saw me wearing a cardigan and a headband and flipped out (after I got off work) and I still have nowhere to go I'm freaking miserable I have no way out there's nothing I can do

Frankly, blowing off Tvals was a really bad idea.  They were the only people physically near you that are motivated to help you and have access to knowledge or resources that can help you.

Me, I can't do anything for you.  I'm over 1500 miles away from you.

I don't know what really happened between you and them, but patching things up with them may be the only way to keep your transition going, because you need help that if not trans specific, at least needs to be trans supportive.

I'm sorry for the pain your parents are causing you. I really wish there was something I could do to help. I live in west Tn. but too far to help. I'll say a prayer for you.


Love
Bobbie LeAnn

I'm not sure how old you are, so that makes giving advice difficult.

I'm really sorry that your parents aren't supportive of who you are. When your family doesn't have your back, it can make the whole thing seem impossible, but I promise you that it isn't. Someone had suggested trying to hide your hormones somewhere else and taking them that way. I completely agree with that. Do you own a car? I was homeless for about a month, and it sucked, but my car at least gave me some shelter. I parked at Walmarts, apartment complexes, and malls. It gave me enough time to save up money for a deposit on an apartment. If you can find a shelter to shower at, that's even better.

All of this temporarily to get on your feet.

However, if you're under 18, then your best bet is to maybe find solace at school. Maybe a counselor can help you find the resources you need to get from under your parents.

But yeah, try hiding your meds. Your parents can't be around you 24/7.

Best of luck to you, love.

Quote from: EmilyRyan on January 30, 2018, 12:58:24 AM
Back on the 13th my parents discovered my hormones and have forced me to either stop or kick me me out since them it's been a total nightmare since and my parents are determined to stop me from ever transitioning and are back to the same abuse that I tried escaping from last summer.

I need a way out and I can't just sit around waiting to save up either I need to get out ASAP can anyone please help??

Dear Emily,

I know the feeling; my Grandparents, the people who raised me, were totally against the idea of transgender and still are. However, if this transition is important to you, you will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is within your power to ensure that you can continue your treatment. If it were me, I would leave; start searching around for a roommate online or cheap apartments. Ask friends or coworkers; whatever it takes.

If I could I would move you in with me, but being so far away, that is an impossibility.

I wish the best for you.

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Quote from: CarlyMcx on February 12, 2018, 10:06:27 PM
Frankly, blowing off Tvals was a really bad idea.  They were the only people physically near you that are motivated to help you and have access to knowledge or resources that can help you.

Me, I can't do anything for you.  I'm over 1500 miles away from you.

I don't know what really happened between you and them, but patching things up with them may be the only way to keep your transition going, because you need help that if not trans specific, at least needs to be trans supportive.

I'm finding support groups very unhelpful and people seem to get rude when someone needs the kind of help like I do that's why I sorta left Tvals and thinking of leaving this other trans support group on Facebook.

Quote from: Adam.D on February 14, 2018, 02:21:33 PM
I'm not sure how old you are, so that makes giving advice difficult.

I'm really sorry that your parents aren't supportive of who you are. When your family doesn't have your back, it can make the whole thing seem impossible, but I promise you that it isn't. Someone had suggested trying to hide your hormones somewhere else and taking them that way. I completely agree with that. Do you own a car? I was homeless for about a month, and it sucked, but my car at least gave me some shelter. I parked at Walmarts, apartment complexes, and malls. It gave me enough time to save up money for a deposit on an apartment. If you can find a shelter to shower at, that's even better.

All of this temporarily to get on your feet.

However, if you're under 18, then your best bet is to maybe find solace at school. Maybe a counselor can help you find the resources you need to get from under your parents.

But yeah, try hiding your meds. Your parents can't be around you 24/7.

Best of luck to you, love.

I'm 26 and can't drive and there are shelters in my area but none willing or can take me in and my parents are getting worse my mom comes into where I work (I work at Walgreens) to make sure I'm not dressing or going by as "Emily" after she found out a couple weeks ago after walking in.

Quote from: TheDarkQueenEmily on February 14, 2018, 02:52:17 PM
Dear Emily,

I know the feeling; my Grandparents, the people who raised me, were totally against the idea of transgender and still are. However, if this transition is important to you, you will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is within your power to ensure that you can continue your treatment. If it were me, I would leave; start searching around for a roommate online or cheap apartments. Ask friends or coworkers; whatever it takes.

If I could I would move you in with me, but being so far away, that is an impossibility.

I wish the best for you.

Sadly rent is still affordable despite having a job even with roommates I'm looking at over 500 a month and I live around a small town :(

Emily sounds like you're in a tough situation right now but you'll pull through. If taking your hormones is important to you than keep doing that any way you can. At least you have a place to live for now and you just have to keep trying. I didn't move out and start hrt until a few months ago at 27. I relate with you a lot and I know what it's like. I was scared I would be homeless after a bad situation with my roommates and my job last month. I'm okay, for now. I do turn to my therapist and doctors for support. They helped me a lot with my job- I went on disability.

Good luck!

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Hey so I've actually looked into situations like this rather extensively because my parents have threatened similar on several occasions and I've used several different approaches to effectively combat this type of behavior. Here are your options:

A) Call their bluff. Tell them that you're an adult and you can do whatever you want. If they are Christian, tell them that it's a sin to judge others as you can only be rightfully judged on the eyes of God. As parents, their job is to accept their children for who they are as you accept your parents for who they are. If they try to kick you out for a medical condition that is recognized by the DSM-V (here's where I suggest showing them the DSM-V) that they are being corrupted by pride and that you will pray for them. When you call their bluff, you have to anticipate where they will draw the line. For my dad, it was when they threatened to kick me out of the house while we are driving down the highway and I more or less said "okay I'll leave right now" and opened up the door and unbuckled my seatbelt. I also made it very clear that I know both my parents' social security numbers, all of their credit card information, and every building permit they didn't file for. They often stop after I make my threats more extreme than theirs in a classic case of "mine is bigger than yours"

B) Agree, but set them up for housing discrimination (amazingly simple). Tell them you'll stop and like a week later say how you've been thinking that you want to help them by paying rent. Pay monthly by check and ask for a receipt with the excuse of using for a tax deduction or you can ask for some kind of informal lease by calling it a "written agreement". Make sure that in this "agreement" you make it look like it's completely in their favor that way if it's ever challenged in court, nobody will belief this was all your idea. After you've paid for a month or two, you can openly transition and if they try to kick you out, you are now a tenant and kicking you out for such a thing falls under housing discrimination. See, even if every state doesn't have laws protecting discrimination based on gender identity, they DO have laws preventing discrimination based on disability and asking you not to treat a condition recognized by the DSM-V violates the Americans with Disabilities Act and local discrimination laws. If they tell you they are kicking you out for that, record the conversation. Once you have a recording and a paper trail for rent, they can't even legally evict you because you have proof that they have ulterior motive.

C) Call the shelter and ask for a ride. Most shelters can assist you with transportation. If not, a lot of churches may be willing to give you a lift if you simply say "my parents have been emotionally abusive and have threatened to kick me out because of a pre existing condition". Make sure your language stays very surgical. If your explanation doesn't evoke an empathetic connection, most people will assume it's not something you want to talk about and/or it's been largely traumatic for you which has robbed you of an emotional response.

D) Last resort: call 911 and say your parents have threatened to hurt you. This is an outright lie and I don't recommend it. By law, if someone calls 911 and reports that someone they know is a threat to themselves or others, they have to be taken for a psychiatric hold. This depends on how well your local police force chooses to respond to said phone call and they could take your parents side. Ultimately, this doesn't achieve much except establishing that you are at risk as the police will be mandated to take a report which can help you get into a shelter more easily.

IF YOUR PARENTS CONFISCATE YOUR HORMONES, CALL 911. That is illegal possession of a controlled substance and that is at the very least a misdemeanor. You should browse through Tennessee penal law for the details on the law. The very threat that you will call 911 on them for a crime they would have committed will have your folks scared ->-bleeped-<-less.

BONUS: Again, if your parents are Christian, go to their church and speak with the clergy about counseling your parents to stop being oppressive, prideful, and judgmental. Most Christian sects are trying not to hate on queers since that hasn't been working out for them as of late. My local Catholic church states before every mass that everyone is welcome no matter what "orientation" (which is not the word I would have chosen but okay). If your local church isn't helpful, find out who presides over their church and just go up the chain of command. My dad wasn't open to therapy but when I suggested that he speak with the Father of the church he was much more open to dealing with our problems.

I hope this helps. You can also call places like lambda legal or the ACLU and ask for local resources. They will most likely be able to help you connect with your local trans community.

Quote from: Courtney.lane408 on January 30, 2018, 01:08:09 PM
How old are you? Because if your 26 like your profile says it's time to be on your own regardless of what's going on and especially living in a bad situation. I mean if you 15 you don't have many options. But at 26 and dealing with what you are get the hell out of there!!

You said you have a job so start looking for cheap housing with multiple roommates. With living with a couple people in a cheap place you should be able to get you rent down to under 500 a month.


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Age isn't a great determining factor for independence and it's very presumptuous to assume someone has the ability to live on their own. I'm 28 and I am not physically able to live on my own. Even at $500 of rent, I doubt OP would make ends meet because minimum wage ain't getting you ->-bleeped-<- and you KNOW Walgreens won't pay a living wage. Factoring in food, medical expenses, buying an entirely new wardrobe, furniture, etc., It's just not that easy.

I'm so sorry hun.I'm the mommy of a trans teen and I can't imagine being unsupportive of my child.My suggestion to you is to search on one of the roommate sites for a roommate,get on craigslist and look at the section that has rooms for rent in other people's house,place an ad of your own on CL under the housing section,and go down to the housing authority in your area and get on the waiting list if it is open. I know you said you can't afford rent but you can find a place in your range of price on CL just be safe and don't give anyone money without signing an agreement first. I know you can do this hun! I believe in you! :)

Quote from: Sparklefish on February 15, 2018, 06:07:17 PM
I'm so sorry hun.I'm the mommy of a trans teen and I can't imagine being unsupportive of my child.My suggestion to you is to search on one of the roommate sites for a roommate,get on craigslist and look at the section that has rooms for rent in other people's house,place an ad of your own on CL under the housing section,and go down to the housing authority in your area and get on the waiting list if it is open. I know you said you can't afford rent but you can find a place in your range of price on CL just be safe and don't give anyone money without signing an agreement first. I know you can do this hun! I believe in you! :)

Wish you could've been my mom too it be nice to have supportive family sadly I have no one :(

Quote from: Igknight on February 15, 2018, 03:26:04 AM
Age isn't a great determining factor for independence and it's very presumptuous to assume someone has the ability to live on their own. I'm 28 and I am not physically able to live on my own. Even at $500 of rent, I doubt OP would make ends meet because minimum wage ain't getting you ->-bleeped-<- and you KNOW Walgreens won't pay a living wage. Factoring in food, medical expenses, buying an entirely new wardrobe, furniture, etc., It's just not that easy.

You're correct even if I had at least 4 other roommates I still wouldn't be able to afford rent

Quote from: EmilyRyan on February 19, 2018, 07:18:00 PM
You're correct even if I had at least 4 other roommates I still wouldn't be able to afford rent

Wow rent must be outrageous where you live. I live in a 4 bedroom house (just my stepson and I) and I am on SSI and I get by ok. Sounds like you need to find a cheaper place to live.
Just my 2 cents.




Love
Bobbie LeAnn

Thing is the area I do live in is considered one the cheapest in the country (Tennessee i general is) the real problem is I'm stuck doing low paying (and high stress) jobs due to having a disability too and there's little to no help and I can't just pick up and move unless I really wanna be living in a cardboard box but I'm kinda already on the verge of that anyway so... yeah I sometimes hate my country

You're struggle is like everyone else. Believe that. If you want higher paying job you have to work for it. It is stressful as a cashier, it's fast paced, and bottom line it's a business. That's anywhere you go- as in most jobs are like that.

The only jobs I actually enjoyed were at my college. But they were part time and only for students.

Anyway, now way after college I still have to work hard and prove myself. It's not easy and I've hated schmoozing as a "guy" so I haven't gotten very far yet.

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Quote from: Allison S on February 21, 2018, 12:08:11 AM
You're struggle is like everyone else. Believe that. If you want higher paying job you have to work for it. It is stressful as a cashier, it's fast paced, and bottom line it's a business. That's anywhere you go- as in most jobs are like that.

The only jobs I actually enjoyed were at my college. But they were part time and only for students.

Anyway, now way after college I still have to work hard and prove myself. It's not easy and I've hated schmoozing as a "guy" so I haven't gotten very far yet.

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What about us that struggle with a disability??

Um no but you clearly skipped the entire rest of my post. No need to be snide here this is my second post trying to give you advice...

As for disability. Go to your doctor and local social security office. No one here can help you with that... all we can do is share our knowledge.

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Quote from: Allison S on February 21, 2018, 01:02:54 AM
Um no but you clearly skipped the entire rest of my post. No need to be snide here this is my second post trying to give you advice...

As for disability. Go to your doctor and local social security office. No one here can help you with that... all we can do is share our knowledge.

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I'm confused by the "um no" part.

As for doctor I'm gonna need to see someone that specializes with learning disabilities in order to update my documentation. Trouble there no money and no insurance and my job doesn't provide. 

"Um no" I meant I wasn't talking about your disability in my first post. But as for seeing a specialist. Have you found one yet? Usually you can ask for a sliding fee based on what you can pay. Worse case scenario you'll owe money but they may be able to work with you on a payment plan you can afford over serveral months or more depending on how much.

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Sadly I can't find a specialist that charges under 500 (even with sliding scale) another messed up thing about living in America :(

Hun did you ever find a place to live? How are you? I tried to pm you but I guess I haven't made enough posts. I am thinking of you and wondering how you are. Sending you big hugs.

Quote from: Sparklefish on April 18, 2018, 11:58:35 PM
Hun did you ever find a place to live? How are you? I tried to pm you but I guess I haven't made enough posts. I am thinking of you and wondering how you are. Sending you big hugs.

I've given up

Giving up is an option, not always the best one. Having a disability some times puts us into a mindset we are stuck and our disability owns us. I had a learning disability when I was younger, I did not let it stop me, I just learned to work around it. I then became physically disabled, I found a different job that I could manage. I have notice people offering you suggestions on how to help yourself, you shot everyone of them down.  IF where you live is causing you trouble, save a little bit of money and MOVE. Go to A East or West coast city, giving up is also a thing. I live in Tacoma, WA and there are rooms for rent under $500 a month that include utilities. I go to Walgreens and there are two trans-women who work there and they share an apartment. There are also trans-women and men who work for Amazon (local) and it pays enough to cover bills. At age 27 it is no longer the responsibility of your parents to see to your housing, feeding and other needs. IF you live in their home you are a guest at age 27, I left at age 18 to not be at home. If you need pointing at employment opportunities or housing I will be glad to point you in the direction of them. I don't know what you meant by help in your earlier posts, others did offer guidance. Best of luck -M

Quote from: 120716 on April 22, 2018, 11:16:45 PM
Giving up is an option, not always the best one. Having a disability some times puts us into a mindset we are stuck and our disability owns us. I had a learning disability when I was younger, I did not let it stop me, I just learned to work around it. I then became physically disabled, I found a different job that I could manage. I have notice people offering you suggestions on how to help yourself, you shot everyone of them down.  IF where you live is causing you trouble, save a little bit of money and MOVE. Go to A East or West coast city, giving up is also a thing. I live in Tacoma, WA and there are rooms for rent under $500 a month that include utilities. I go to Walgreens and there are two trans-women who work there and they share an apartment. There are also trans-women and men who work for Amazon (local) and it pays enough to cover bills. At age 27 it is no longer the responsibility of your parents to see to your housing, feeding and other needs. IF you live in their home you are a guest at age 27, I left at age 18 to not be at home. If you need pointing at employment opportunities or housing I will be glad to point you in the direction of them. I don't know what you meant by help in your earlier posts, others did offer guidance. Best of luck -M

I've tried all the suggestions given none helped or lead nowhere except back to square 1. I thought about moving to the west coast but housing is unaffordable and last thing I want is to be another homeless person they have to deal with cause last I heard that's a huge problem out west as well and same for east coast.

What can you afford? Can you transfer within Walgreens? I know individuals who rent rooms, in Tacoma, Seattle and Olympia WA. Some will even barter Room and board for house keeping, ie; cooking, cleaning and some yard work. I have done that in the past.

Quote from: 120716 on April 23, 2018, 12:15:37 AM
What can you afford?

An unrealistic 300/month provided utilities are included with that.

Quote from: 120716 on April 23, 2018, 12:15:37 AM
Can you transfer within Walgreens?

It is possible though I fear I'm blacklisted from doing so all because of a mistake I made in March where I didn't know these two 20 dollar bills were counterfeit almost lost my job over it

Quote from: 120716 on April 23, 2018, 12:15:37 AMI know individuals who rent rooms, in Tacoma, Seattle and Olympia WA. Some will even barter Room and board for house keeping, ie; cooking, cleaning and some yard work. I have done that in the past.

I've reached out to several queer communities from all corners of the U.S. offering to do the same (plus offered to pay rent and/or utilities) and no one ever bothers to reach out back :(

No you obviously don't want to be homeless. To be honest I was wanting to go that route, well to a shelter (I could've gotten in and I would get my own room) so that I can save the money I do have for surgeries... I'm not working now so all my expenses are coming from the money I have for "surgeries". It's tough and most days I don't even know if I'll have enough to survive for long.

Anyway, I don't mean to overshare my own issues but I guess we all gotta do what we can. Some are lucky to have financial support from their parents... we're not those people. Learning to accept that is.. a step.

How are you reaching out to the "queer communities"? I called some in nyc and they only told me about homeless shelters.. I also went on a facebook group. Well neither of those things worked out for me. But they do for others and maybe for you

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Quote from: Allison S on April 23, 2018, 09:57:56 PM
How are you reaching out to the "queer communities"? I called some in nyc and they only told me about homeless shelters.. I also went on a facebook group. Well neither of those things worked out for me. But they do for others and maybe for you

I've tried various groups on Facebook, ->-bleeped-<-, etc. and nothing I either get told to look into shelters or no response at all and all I do is tell the situation and what I'm able to pay/contribute but I never get a response even the Middle Tennessee queer housing group on Facebook refuses to help.

Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 24, 2018, 11:50:37 PM
I've tried various groups on Facebook, ->-bleeped-<-, etc. and nothing I either get told to look into shelters or no response at all and all I do is tell the situation and what I'm able to pay/contribute but I never get a response even the Middle Tennessee queer housing group on Facebook refuses to help.

Where there is a will there is a way. Don't let excuses stop you, even if they are pretty legit excuses like mental health being trans being poor ect. You have been dealt the hand you have, now the only question is what are you going to do about it. A lot of people here have given you a lot of good advice but you have found a way to shut every single one of them down and to be honest that really frustrates me . If you keep that attitude up life is only going to be harder than it already is.  You have got to get out of this victim mentality. No one is going to give you a good life , it's up to you to fight hard, smart, and tough everyday for the life you deserve!

I'm sorry if this comment is hard to hear and a little harsh, I'll be the first one to admit I'm not the most sensitive person and a better person than me could give you the same advice while being sweeter about it, but imho it's what you need to hear. I'm not trying to be your friend but rather trying to give you the advice I would want someone to give me if I was in your shoes.


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Quote from: Courtney.lane408 on April 24, 2018, 11:54:26 PM
Where there is a will there is a way. Don't let excuses stop you, even if they are pretty legit excuses like mental health being trans being poor ect. You have been dealt the hand you have, now the only question is what are you going to do about it. A lot of people here have given you a lot of good advice but you have found a way to shut every single one of them down and to be honest that really frustrates me . If you keep that attitude up life is only going to be harder than it already is.  You have got to get out of this victim mentality. No one is going to give you a good life , it's up to you to fight hard, smart, and tough everyday for the life you deserve!

I'm sorry if this comment is hard to hear and a little harsh, I'll be the first one to admit I'm not the most sensitive person and a better person than me could give you the same advice while being sweeter about it, but imho it's what you need to hear. I'm not trying to be your friend but rather trying to give you the advice I would want someone to give me if I was in your shoes.

As I said before I've tried and tried the advice given even tried different approaches to applying the advice and nothing so I don't why everyone has to think it's my attitude when I actually tried the advice not my fault nothing has worked so far

Drop all the stigma about homeless people and talk to some of them. Many are fine people who are in bad circumstances. They're realistic and facing their problems head on, trying to work their way out of homelessness  to a better life.

I know you said you tried all the advice offered, but I don't recall you putting everything you own in a backpack and heading out the door.

Living a life you hate is a crime. Not chasing happiness is, too.

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 25, 2018, 12:46:52 AM
As I said before I've tried and tried the advice given even tried different approaches to applying the advice and nothing so I don't why everyone has to think it's my attitude when I actually tried the advice not my fault nothing has worked so far

Because Emily I refuse to believe your special and the world has it out for you and your situation is hopeless. There are millions of people all over the world in a worse situation than you. The problem isn't the advice you have been given it's they way you are applying it to your life. I'm not saying it's easy but you can do it you are letting excuses rule your life. At this point I think the best advice I can actually give is seek therapy. I'm in therapy it's not a thing to be looked down on everyone needs help sometimes getting out of their own way!




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Hello Emily your story really hit a nerve with me because I know what it's like to have parents that you have no chance to convince them you're doing the right thing and I wish I had the magic answer for you but unfortunately I do not. my parents took the rubber hose to me and literally left welts on my butt at a very young age so I just put it in the closet and never brought it up even though they would continue to find my stash of clothes and punish me the same. I hope you stay strong and safe I found out that sometimes when things seem the darkest it might signal a bottom and that somehow someway through time relief will present itself to you. A lot of praying certainly can't hurt. I also will include you in mine. I certainly would offer you sanctuary and safety because I live in some of the most remote Northwoods left in the lower 48 but I know this is unrealistic in your situation. All the best to you my friend hang in there love Tatiana

I actually responded to someone else's post in a trans housing group for nyc and we met. It does take initiative. We didn't move in together but I'll prob stay at the place I'm in... I found this one through craigslist.
Anyway, I know your situation even though you probably think I don't. You haven't mentioned how it is with your parents, and if you're still transitioning (if it's what you want)? Maybe you need to live with them for right now even though they're not the most accepting... Sometimes we need to buy time

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I'm not stigmatizing anything in fact I know what it's like to be homeless, to a degree, I was homeless (and yes I packed my stuff and left my parents) for like nearly three months last year. The reasons I resorted to living back with my parents was because I was running out of places to stay, savings was almost gone, and last I fell for a so-called promise that if I came back my parents would let me transition, even though they still wouldn't be accepting which I didn't mind at that point, but of course once I came back I was forced back in the closest. And yes I'm still taking my hormones in secret what will happen once they notice changes I don't know and try not to think about it.

Again I am taking initiative I'm constantly reaching out and asking around heck I'm even trying get a 2nd job or figure out other ways to supplement my current income trouble is I can't get anything to cooperate it's not that I'm not trying I really am trying just nothing I reach out to bothers to reach out back or I simply can't afford.

And yes I am seeking out therapy finally found a few therapists in my area that I can afford just trying to figure out which one to see and how to get to the appointment once I make it.

p.s. Thank you Sparklefish and Tatiana79 I'm glad someone understands what I'm dealing with 

Quote from: Doreen on April 25, 2018, 06:27:42 PM
What I did to survive? Maybe you can too IF you want to. 

I went to college.. borrowed money from student loans & pell grant.. Worked full time at stupid jobs like serving, telemarketing, janitor, anything I had to to get cash coming in.  AND I also went to school 12-18 credit hours each semester.

This requires work however.. and gumption, and not a small amount of 'elbow grease'.  Its terribly easy to follow the 'poor me' route, I have seen so many over the years fall away because of this mentality.  Its ultimately self destructive, however. 

If college isn't an option?  Disability... food stamps.. there are options.  It takes time, struggle, and perseverance however.  Life will never be handed to most of us on a silver platter.

This is the kind of misunderstanding I keep getting everyone keeps acting like I haven't tried any of this I have tried and none of it worked and I am still trying despite it still not working

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