Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: November Fox on January 30, 2018, 07:55:25 AM Return to Full Version
Title: To those who are in pain
Post by: November Fox on January 30, 2018, 07:55:25 AM
Post by: November Fox on January 30, 2018, 07:55:25 AM
Everytime somebody is in pain, I don't know what to say.
Most of you will know how that feels: you want to extend your hand, but don't know how: you want to say something very meaningful, without sounding like an old cliché.
I've been through severe situations in my life - endured physical abuse for more than a decade and spent another decade wrestling with my brain, which had decided to mentally and emotionally recreate everything I'd been through. Only in the third decade I discovered that I was not who I thought it was.
And then everything starts to turn around. Because when you cease to be an old persona - you suddenly start from scratch. You'll still carry old wounds, and you'll still have all the memories belonging to the old persona, but you will realize that's not YOU.
And if you discovered your true identity after all this time, hidden somewhere deep within, dormant, that means there are lots of other qualities you do have but that you haven't yet seen: and when you let go of all the judgements you had about your old persona, suddenly there will be space for them to come to the fore.
When you are in a tunnel and all you see is darkness, it's very easy to think that you are nothing more than can be seen at first hand, that there is nothing more that can be seen at first hand, but add some light and dimensions will start to shift, new spaces revealed. Do not trust feelings of doom - they are merely an emotion.
Doom is rarely what it really is. Impending doom, rather than finality, signals transformation. And transformation might feel terrifying, like the world is ending, like nothing is safe, and nobody supports you: but in the end, when you crawl through that tunnel out towards the light, you suddenly realize how strong you were all along.
That's all.
Most of you will know how that feels: you want to extend your hand, but don't know how: you want to say something very meaningful, without sounding like an old cliché.
I've been through severe situations in my life - endured physical abuse for more than a decade and spent another decade wrestling with my brain, which had decided to mentally and emotionally recreate everything I'd been through. Only in the third decade I discovered that I was not who I thought it was.
And then everything starts to turn around. Because when you cease to be an old persona - you suddenly start from scratch. You'll still carry old wounds, and you'll still have all the memories belonging to the old persona, but you will realize that's not YOU.
And if you discovered your true identity after all this time, hidden somewhere deep within, dormant, that means there are lots of other qualities you do have but that you haven't yet seen: and when you let go of all the judgements you had about your old persona, suddenly there will be space for them to come to the fore.
When you are in a tunnel and all you see is darkness, it's very easy to think that you are nothing more than can be seen at first hand, that there is nothing more that can be seen at first hand, but add some light and dimensions will start to shift, new spaces revealed. Do not trust feelings of doom - they are merely an emotion.
Doom is rarely what it really is. Impending doom, rather than finality, signals transformation. And transformation might feel terrifying, like the world is ending, like nothing is safe, and nobody supports you: but in the end, when you crawl through that tunnel out towards the light, you suddenly realize how strong you were all along.
That's all.
Title: Re: To those who are in pain
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 08:58:47 AM
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 08:58:47 AM
Realization of your true self opens avenues of reality that you never knew existed sometimes. Creating new paths to a healthier mind, body and soul.
Thank you for these encouraging words that we can all use.
Thank you for these encouraging words that we can all use.
Title: Re: To those who are in pain
Post by: Kylo on January 30, 2018, 10:07:14 AM
Post by: Kylo on January 30, 2018, 10:07:14 AM
Agreed.
I think of it like this:
The only room we cannot escape from is the human condition. All other dark rooms we find ourselves in and feel trapped in had a door into them and most likely have a door out of them as well. The pain of the moment lies in having sight too short to see the door and thinking this room will be the rest of your life. But the door is there somewhere. You just have to get up from the corner you're in and feel around for it.
I think of it like this:
The only room we cannot escape from is the human condition. All other dark rooms we find ourselves in and feel trapped in had a door into them and most likely have a door out of them as well. The pain of the moment lies in having sight too short to see the door and thinking this room will be the rest of your life. But the door is there somewhere. You just have to get up from the corner you're in and feel around for it.
Title: Re: To those who are in pain
Post by: PurpleWolf on January 31, 2018, 08:16:48 AM
Post by: PurpleWolf on January 31, 2018, 08:16:48 AM
November Fox & Kylo:
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: To those who are in pain
Post by: Toni on February 09, 2018, 12:20:58 AM
Post by: Toni on February 09, 2018, 12:20:58 AM
Thanks, I needed to hear from others what I know, but can't hear from within myself because the noise is too loud. Toni
Title: Re: To those who are in pain
Post by: Christy Lee on February 09, 2018, 02:23:52 AM
Post by: Christy Lee on February 09, 2018, 02:23:52 AM
This is Beautiful i just wanted to say :)