Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: gallinarosa on January 30, 2018, 01:34:19 PM Return to Full Version
Title: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: gallinarosa on January 30, 2018, 01:34:19 PM
Post by: gallinarosa on January 30, 2018, 01:34:19 PM
I know a lot of SOs only come here when in crisis. But because we all need more good news in our days, I wanted to share the good too! My spouse and I have had a number of positive revelations -- some alone and some together -- particularly in the last few days. We both hit an acceptance and a trust level beyond what we thought was possible. My spouse knows I am in this for the long haul and trusts me -- and I understand where this may go and I want to actively help instead of passively be dead weight on the trip. I am scared as hell (and maybe this is the anti-depressants speaking) but I feel a great weight has been lifted!
Additionally, I just bought my husband a bunch of pretty women's underwear for his birthday and I am okay with that. I was even super excited to give it to him. (He still uses male pronouns.) I'm already making plans for Valentine's Day ;-)
Anyway, I feel great and positive and I wanted to share the feeling. Thanks to all who were here for me when I was feeling not-so-positive and helping me through that patch.
Additionally, I just bought my husband a bunch of pretty women's underwear for his birthday and I am okay with that. I was even super excited to give it to him. (He still uses male pronouns.) I'm already making plans for Valentine's Day ;-)
Anyway, I feel great and positive and I wanted to share the feeling. Thanks to all who were here for me when I was feeling not-so-positive and helping me through that patch.
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: Cassi on January 30, 2018, 01:37:53 PM
Post by: Cassi on January 30, 2018, 01:37:53 PM
Your spouse and you are truly blessed.
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: Charlie Nicki on January 30, 2018, 01:44:52 PM
Post by: Charlie Nicki on January 30, 2018, 01:44:52 PM
Wow this makes me so happy! I'm glad that things are working out for you two.
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: Siana on January 30, 2018, 03:12:56 PM
Post by: Siana on January 30, 2018, 03:12:56 PM
Glad you are having positive experiences with it :)
I actually like buying dresses and stuff for my SO, she hasn't ever had anyone buy her girly things, so I get to spoil her a bit! And, bonus is when your SO is comfortable enough to model the stuff you buy, you get to see how great they look in it.
I actually like buying dresses and stuff for my SO, she hasn't ever had anyone buy her girly things, so I get to spoil her a bit! And, bonus is when your SO is comfortable enough to model the stuff you buy, you get to see how great they look in it.
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: HappyMoni on January 30, 2018, 04:29:13 PM
Post by: HappyMoni on January 30, 2018, 04:29:13 PM
Quote from: gallinarosa on January 30, 2018, 01:34:19 PMYour post on your support is so great to hear. I have been the recipient of amazing support from my significant other. In fact she supported and accepted me 40 years before I could accept myself. I would not even let her see me dressed in woman's clothes, but her support was always there. It is truly a wonderful thing for one person to do for a loved one. I wish you both happiness.
I know a lot of SOs only come here when in crisis. But because we all need more good news in our days, I wanted to share the good too! My spouse and I have had a number of positive revelations -- some alone and some together -- particularly in the last few days. We both hit an acceptance and a trust level beyond what we thought was possible. My spouse knows I am in this for the long haul and trusts me -- and I understand where this may go and I want to actively help instead of passively be dead weight on the trip. I am scared as hell (and maybe this is the anti-depressants speaking) but I feel a great weight has been lifted!
Additionally, I just bought my husband a bunch of pretty women's underwear for his birthday and I am okay with that. I was even super excited to give it to him. (He still uses male pronouns.) I'm already making plans for Valentine's Day ;-)
Anyway, I feel great and positive and I wanted to share the feeling. Thanks to all who were here for me when I was feeling not-so-positive and helping me through that patch.
Moni
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: Charlie Nicki on January 31, 2018, 07:52:08 AM
Post by: Charlie Nicki on January 31, 2018, 07:52:08 AM
Quote from: Siana on January 30, 2018, 03:12:56 PM
Glad you are having positive experiences with it :)
I actually like buying dresses and stuff for my SO, she hasn't ever had anyone buy her girly things, so I get to spoil her a bit! And, bonus is when your SO is comfortable enough to model the stuff you buy, you get to see how great they look in it.
People like you and GallinaRosa are gold! :)
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: Sylvia on January 31, 2018, 08:28:56 AM
Post by: Sylvia on January 31, 2018, 08:28:56 AM
Happy to hear this, GR. We are in a better place too. Most of the time :)
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: SadieBlake on February 13, 2018, 07:17:20 AM
Post by: SadieBlake on February 13, 2018, 07:17:20 AM
Gallinarosa, Sylvia, I'm so glad for both of you. Here's to a positive start to 2018!
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: Lady Lisandra on February 13, 2018, 07:25:54 PM
Post by: Lady Lisandra on February 13, 2018, 07:25:54 PM
You sound like the SO that every trans woman wish they had. I'm glad that you could make things work for both of you :)
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: gallinarosa on February 14, 2018, 07:57:08 AM
Post by: gallinarosa on February 14, 2018, 07:57:08 AM
Quote from: Lady Lisandra on February 13, 2018, 07:25:54 PM
You sound like the SO that every trans woman wish they had.
Do transwomen like hot messes? LOL. I never knew that.
Just to be clear (especially to other couples who read this), it is not all roses. It is HARD. And draining. It is an emotional roller coaster. (But at this moment, I feel like - and hope - that it is worth it.)
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: Faith on February 14, 2018, 11:24:19 AM
Post by: Faith on February 14, 2018, 11:24:19 AM
Quote from: gallinarosa on February 14, 2018, 07:57:08 AM
Do transwomen like hot messes? LOL. I never knew that.
Just to be clear (especially to other couples who read this), it is not all roses. It is HARD. And draining. It is an emotional roller coaster. (But at this moment, I feel like - and hope - that it is worth it.)
Much like my wife. She's extremely supportive and defensive of me. Tells the 'doom and gloomers' that "No, she is not leaving me." Tells me the same, She loves me and plans on being in it wherever it leads .. whatever 'it' is :P I do know that aside from that, she's struggling to reconcile things in her own mind. Me she can accept. My changes .. and my need for changes .. she's trying. I can see how much it's draining on her.
It needs to be clear to everyone, as hard as it is for the trans to break out, it's equally hard for an SO to come to grips. It's just different. Most trans have much longer time to come to terms with themselves. Most SO's get hit with it sideways and scramble to adjust. To manage the turbulence of a trans relationship takes a special kind of love.
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: BrianaJ on February 15, 2018, 09:24:41 AM
Post by: BrianaJ on February 15, 2018, 09:24:41 AM
Faith wrote:
Faith, you said it very well. I think so few of us really ever understand what we do to - what we impose on our SOs. Its something that those of us on the trans side need to understand more.
Gallinarose, I also think you are truly a gem.
QuoteIt needs to be clear to everyone, as hard as it is for the trans to break out, it's equally hard for an SO to come to grips. It's just different. Most trans have much longer time to come to terms with themselves. Most SO's get hit with it sideways and scramble to adjust. To manage the turbulence of a trans relationship takes a special kind of love.
Faith, you said it very well. I think so few of us really ever understand what we do to - what we impose on our SOs. Its something that those of us on the trans side need to understand more.
Gallinarose, I also think you are truly a gem.
Title: Re: moving forward slowly but surely
Post by: Theirsforever01 on May 17, 2018, 11:40:39 PM
Post by: Theirsforever01 on May 17, 2018, 11:40:39 PM
Quote from: Siana on January 30, 2018, 03:12:56 PM
Glad you are having positive experiences with it :)
I actually like buying dresses and stuff for my SO, she hasn't ever had anyone buy her girly things, so I get to spoil her a bit! And, bonus is when your SO is comfortable enough to model the stuff you buy, you get to see how great they look in it.
I'm with you on this, I just went out and bought my spouse some new undies and tops today and loved watching him (still using the masculine pronoun for now) try them on. He loves them! Made me so happy to see him so happy!!