Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Soooo...Tomorrow is officially my one month mark for HRT :) Yay! Anyways, I just wanted to share a little of my experience thus far.

I've come out to close family memebers, my wife has decided she wants to separate, but there's no craziness between us, mainly because we have two children together and really want to co-parent to give them the best possible experience living with divorced parents. My wife has known for months now, she just recently made the decision to separate, I absolutely don't,  but i have to support her decision, even though it really sucks. Havent told the kids yet, waiting until summer. It's been an emotional month to say the least.

On to HRT. Well, skin softness, hair slowing growth for sure, bruise really easy and skin gets cut easier (wtf, don't like that lol), feeling more in touch with emotions, smells & tastes are different, breast nipple tenderness which is mlre on my left side, physically eveything feels more strenuous and I tire easier, no BO. That's about it, I've been consistently running, eating healthy but less. At 5'11" I'm holding at 155, grrrr..would like to be 145 but i think it's all muscle weight. I'm trying not to burn on my butt and legs so it feels like a juggling act with diet and exercise. My upper back is stupid and i hate it (I know, I'm immature ;p ) soo at this point I'm hoping to start losing more muscle and get some fat on my legs and butt. My arms and back make me want to cry.

I'm posting a few pics for month one :)

https://imgur.com/a/vfYEO

One more add-in, I have been staying away from meat, being careful not to intake too much potassium, and i also take adderall for sleepy add (prescribed obviously, and i take it as such, or less than needed). I would think that adderall would help me lose mass, but sheesh-this stuff does not want to leave.

Wow, I know a lot of girls, even cis girls, would love to have that shape.  Just hang in there HRT is a slow ride.  We've all been there and know how impatient one can be in regarding our transformation into a butterfly.

AutumnGurl81, looking great there, being so slim you may have not develop a lot of boobs.

Quote from: RobynTx on January 31, 2018, 04:42:00 PM
Wow, I know a lot of girls, even cis girls, would love to have that shape.  Just hang in there HRT is a slow ride.  We've all been there and know how impatient one can be in regarding our transformation into a butterfly.

Thank you. I'm trying to be patient lol, I know I need to try harder, I just feel like my upper body is all meat sometimes, It's tough, I just want to be there like many who have come before me :)

Quote from: mm on January 31, 2018, 04:55:33 PM
AutumnGurl81, looking great there, being so slim you may have not develop a lot of boobs.

Thank you lol, boobs are honestly my last worry, even cis girls have small boobs. Worst case, years down the road i might get augemntation if i can't* fill a B ;p

So i just thought I'd chime in on here and talk about what just happened to me. So, I picked my dog up and was giving her a good rub before I went to set her down, but as I did I rubbed her against my left nipple (the sensitive one) and it felt like someone shoved an ice in my stage 1...ouch...note to self, sensitive nips are no joke, now I'm kinda of scared of what will happen when they grow more and stick out. Yikes.

Just wait till you hit one on a door or something. 

Quick update..
Bewbs, so I noticed today that my left side, which is the really sensitive side, is ever so slightly swollen and is also a tad darker looking than my right. The right rarely itches and hasn't been very sensitive. From what everyone here has said, and what I've read its fairly common. Have also noticed small reduction in muscle mass and very minor wieght loss. Diet has been vegetarian with a fluctuating intake of whole grain carbs, fruits, veggies, cheese, milk, pickles, Greek yogurt and sometimes veggie pizzas for fat. My body seems to be eating it all up at any volume, some days I'm defintely burning (and trying to) more calories than I'm injesting.

Okay...so today I noticed that my face seemed different for some reason. Maybe softer, I thought...anyways, later I looked again and it seems like the bottom half of my face (below the cheek bones) is thinning. So i thought, I'm probably imagining this. I took a picture and compared to right before starting hrt, and sure enough the bottom half has thinned out! My cheekbones stick out further than my jawline. However, my skin is starting to look loose! Almost like my face is an awkward beggining stage of change, did this happen to anyone else during their transition on hrt?--I mean loose skin, and did it tighten back up later?

Good fer you!  Mak'n all us snails jealous :)

Quote from: Cassi on February 13, 2018, 08:50:14 PM
Good fer you!  Mak'n all us snails jealous :)

Well change is definitely good, but I'm worried about about my skin. I have some spots around my triceps to, but I figure over time it won't be a big deal..my face though, I'm just hoping that my cheeks eventually fill out and pull that loose skin a bit tighter..

I find that adding a little T post-op helped tighten my skin and it looks much better now. On just estrogen, it was 1) way too dry 2) loose. For me, the combo of enough E + T is doing wonders.

Quote from: AutumnGurl81 on January 31, 2018, 04:32:03 PM
Soooo...Tomorrow is officially my one month mark for HRT :) Yay! Anyways, I just wanted to share a little of my experience thus far.

I've come out to close family memebers, my wife has decided she wants to separate, but there's no craziness between us, mainly because we have two children together and really want to co-parent to give them the best possible experience living with divorced parents. My wife has known for months now, she just recently made the decision to separate, I absolutely don't,  but i have to support her decision, even though it really sucks. Havent told the kids yet, waiting until summer. It's been an emotional month to say the least.

On to HRT. Well, skin softness, hair slowing growth for sure, bruise really easy and skin gets cut easier (wtf, don't like that lol), feeling more in touch with emotions, smells & tastes are different, breast nipple tenderness which is mlre on my left side, physically eveything feels more strenuous and I tire easier, no BO. That's about it, I've been consistently running, eating healthy but less. At 5'11" I'm holding at 155, grrrr..would like to be 145 but i think it's all muscle weight. I'm trying not to burn on my butt and legs so it feels like a juggling act with diet and exercise. My upper back is stupid and i hate it (I know, I'm immature ;p ) soo at this point I'm hoping to start losing more muscle and get some fat on my legs and butt. My arms and back make me want to cry.

I'm posting a few pics for month one :)

https://imgur.com/a/vfYEO

One more add-in, I have been staying away from meat, being careful not to intake too much potassium, and i also take adderall for sleepy add (prescribed obviously, and i take it as such, or less than needed). I would think that adderall would help me lose mass, but sheesh-this stuff does not want to leave.

You have a great figure! You'll get even more beautiful on HRT.

Quote from: RobynTx on February 06, 2018, 06:00:09 AM
Just wait till you hit one on a door or something.

And you will! 

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on February 14, 2018, 07:38:12 AM
You have a great figure! You'll get even more beautiful on HRT.

Thank you!! :)

Quote from: Jessica on February 14, 2018, 09:37:37 AM
And you will! 

Lol,  :o

Regarding the nipple tenderness, just wait until you absent-mindedly sling a bag over your shoulder and the front strap lands on one. That was my first, "OMG, it's working!" moment. Pain never felt so good.

Quote from: Amy Marie on February 14, 2018, 03:46:15 PM
Regarding the nipple tenderness, just wait until you absent-mindedly sling a bag over your shoulder and the front strap lands on one. That was my first, "OMG, it's working!" moment. Pain never felt so good.

I blame my nips hurting on Roll aka Ellie!  My were fine until she said her's started hurting and then to keep up with the Joneses my started hurting and continue to do so................................

I woke up this morning not feeling so hot, thinking "what am I doing?" as I made breakfast for my two girls. Sometimes I think it's too late for me, or it just won't work out-all scary thoughts and common doubts i suppose. Anyways when i dropped the girls off I saw a few other moms walking about the campus and immediately realized I was crazy for questioning myself, as I admired their figure and grace. Some days suck, going to bed really late probably didn't help either. When I got home I read an article on gender dysphoria, as i have many times before, and as I read i was thinking "Yep. Oh-yep, that's me. Check, check, check.." Then, I was kind of upset (which has happened before) at the fact that I had suppressed this and forgotten who I was for so long. I could've started 15 years ago, but because i was trying to fit in and "be a man" I couldn't even cope with myself. Obviously hindsight is crap, but, I am glad I figured it out now rather than later. Just kind of ranting my thoughts I guess, hope everyone is having a great day :)

We all have days like that.  I'm having one today.  I had plans to get out and do some fun stuff but then the dysphoria kicked in and the only thing I did was pay some bills in a drive thru. Tomorrow is another day and I will get out and do stuff tomorrow.  My wife won't give me an option.

I'm 42 and think all the time about how I should have done this years ago.  Then I stop to remember that if I had I wouldn't have my three wonderful kids. The important thing is you are doing it now.  It doesn't matter what happened yesterday.  It's today and tomorrow that counts.

Quote from: RobynTx on February 15, 2018, 12:46:22 PM
We all have days like that.  I'm having one today.  I had plans to get out and do some fun stuff but then the dysphoria kicked in and the only thing I did was pay some bills in a drive thru. Tomorrow is another day and I will get out and do stuff tomorrow.  My wife won't give me an option.

I'm 42 and think all the time about how I should have done this years ago.  Then I stop to remember that if I had I wouldn't have my three wonderful kids. The important thing is you are doing it now.  It doesn't matter what happened yesterday.  It's today and tomorrow that counts.

Thank you for the sweet response, I got teary eyed while reading it. I'm sorry you're having a rough one too, and you're absolutely right, my kids are the most amazing thing that's happened in my life. It's just plain tough, but I'm trying to stay as focused, or distracted as possible :)

Quote from: AutumnGurl81 on February 15, 2018, 12:56:11 PM
Thank you for the sweet response, I got teary eyed while reading it. I'm sorry you're having a rough one too, and you're absolutely right, my kids are the most amazing thing that's happened in my life. It's just plain tough, but I'm trying to stay as focused, or distracted as possible :)

The main thing I get out of these forums is the support.  Girls support girls.  Just remember Rome wasn't built in one day.

One month on E today. Almost two months on HRT. And wow, today was a doosy...But I'll refrain from ranting. Let's just say it involved my psychologist, getting cysts cut out of my arms, my soon to be ex-wife (who's a school counselor btw) giving ZERO F's about how I've been, and then I was reminded that tomorrow is Feb 21st...yikes.

What have I noticed? Not much, my emotions are the same but multiplied, so any emotion I feel is just exponentially more intense then it was before. Skin is soft, right nip is playing catch up now, and the contour of my face seems slightly different. I've gained a few pounds, and I'm not sure where, don't feel like anymore muscle has shed, but idk.

Soo...lots happened since my last post on this thread. But before I begin my rant/post I would like to thank everyone here for their support, whether it be written or in their heart. You're all sweet peeps and I appreciate every last bit of the support that is shared here.

Now on with my rant. So basically in real life experiences you can get a good picture of what happened. But in short right below the 2 month HRT mark I stopped. Within 3 three days I really began to notice how much my body had changed. Then I started to smell like man again, and then muscle mass returned and I was ridiculously hungry for three days, back to 158 now-ugh. Morning wood, annoying male driven feelings about intimacy (which had gone away or at least settled quite a bit) happiness was dimmed, I was thinking about who I was everytime I saw a girl wearing a cute outfit, or hair in an elegant fix.

Well, now here I am three weeks backward because I have NO idea what I did with my meds...next week I will get refilled. Anyways, Ive worked things out with my wife to where we are being more open/honest with each other. Still planning on splitting though :( But I feel like I/we have passed this serious obstacle in the journey.

So I'm really excited to start again and kind of fresh, I feel like my mind a bit clearer now with some certainty to the path moving forward.

I have to ask, for those who've come off of HRT before after a short or long duration, and started again soon after, did you notice things pick up much quicker??

Hugs 💕
-Justyna

Hello Justyna

Sorry to hear that your wife wants to separate/divorce. I hope that you can reach an amicable friendship together if she does not change her mind before summer.

Sorry to hear you temporarily went off hormones but at least now you know that due to recent events, you must go back on them. I am glad you managed to clear you head and that you found confirmation.

I hope you soon get fixed up again with your supply of hormones. As another girl who recently started hormones, I know how relieving it is to NOT have to suffer morning wood.

I wish you all the best on your journey.

Pamela

Quote from: pamelatransuk on March 19, 2018, 08:47:34 AM
Hello Justyna

Sorry to hear that your wife wants to separate/divorce. I hope that you can reach an amicable friendship together if she does not change her mind before summer.

Sorry to hear you temporarily went off hormones but at least now you know that due to recent events, you must go back on them. I am glad you managed to clear you head and that you found confirmation.

I hope you soon get fixed up again with your supply of hormones. As another girl who recently started hormones, I know how relieving it is to NOT have to suffer morning wood.

I wish you all the best on your journey.

Pamela

Thanks Pamela :)

I'm really excited to be moving forward again!

Back on the HRT! I started last  (scratches head) thursday, the 22 I think lol. I forgot that the first couple weeks feel a little rough, especially from the way I felt at almost two months. I'll get back there though, just keeping my eyes forward and trying one day at a time without obsession over progress. Maybe I'll mark every 3 months.

Glad you're back on hormones.  The closest I've come to that was when I ran out of Spiro for 10 days a few weeks ago.  I still had my E patches so it wasn't that bad.  I could still feel my T coming back up but that could have just been my imagination. I have noticed that since I got back on the Spiro that my genitals seem much smaller than before I ran out. But I'm glad to be back on them.  I did blood work yesterday so we'll see how much it cost me being off the Spiro for that long.

Any who, glad you are back on them and I'm very happy that you and your wife are doing better.  Keep it up.

Spiro mostly seems to block testosterone so measuring levels doesn't appear to be very reliable. This was mentioned by the author of a recent study on transwomen taking spironolactone. Your levels may be high but some of that is blocked so...

Quote from: RobynTx on March 29, 2018, 08:25:59 AM
Glad you're back on hormones.  The closest I've come to that was when I ran out of Spiro for 10 days a few weeks ago.  I still had my E patches so it wasn't that bad.  I could still feel my T coming back up but that could have just been my imagination. I have noticed that since I got back on the Spiro that my genitals seem much smaller than before I ran out. But I'm glad to be back on them.  I did blood work yesterday so we'll see how much it cost me being off the Spiro for that long.

Any who, glad you are back on them and I'm very happy that you and your wife are doing better.  Keep it up.

Thanks Robyn! (: Yeah, its definitely been good to have then back, but also frustrating because I'm going through all the emotional and sex change stuff that hit me the first two weeks when I initially started, like spiked male sex drive for 5 days or so, eek.. Yeah Spiro def makes a difference down below for me as well. Hopefully another week of weird hormone balance torture and I'll be back to where I was.

Quote from: KayXo on March 29, 2018, 01:16:55 PM
Spiro mostly seems to block testosterone so measuring levels doesn't appear to be very reliable. This was mentioned by the author of a recent study on transwomen taking spironolactone. Your levels may be high but some of that is blocked so...

I think it's all mental for me.  I already had low T to begin with before I started HRT. 

So question from those who've gone at least 3-6 months deep. I've noticed the bottom half of my face quickly started to thin out again, but...there is this line that archs from either side of my lower jaw over the top of my chin. It looks weird, and I'm assuming it's fat going away? I do have a fatty chin, and I guess around my jawline. ANYWAYS, did anyone notice weird spots on your face that filled in or balanced out down the road. I'm sure yes because it makes sense, but curious on experiences.

PS - My nipples started hurting fast. And my skin color is lighter around them because the "discs" are almost the size of cookies. That happened surprisingly fast. Only been back on for close to three weeks.

Cheeks seem to be more rosey I think and there's definitely something changing in the face as I was Video calling a friend and seeing my face in the camera square blew me a way.

Kinda think I looked 10 years younger :)

Quote from: AutumnGurl81 on April 09, 2018, 10:14:06 PM
So question from those who've gone at least 3-6 months deep. I've noticed the bottom half of my face quickly started to thin out again, but...there is this line that archs from either side of my lower jaw over the top of my chin.

Normal, to be expected with E.

Quote from: Cassi on April 10, 2018, 12:18:27 AM
Cheeks seem to be more rosey I think and there's definitely something changing in the face as I was Video calling a friend and seeing my face in the camera square blew me a way.

Kinda think I looked 10 years younger :)

Glad to hear and thx for your input :)

Quote from: KayXo on April 10, 2018, 10:42:17 PM
Normal, to be expected with E.

Okay, I haven't been as crazy about looking in the mirror but sometimes I just catch things, like almost suddenly. I hope my cheeks fill out and pull my face tighter lol. My skin is looking great again and starting to glow,and while it's soft, the loss of all of my lower face fat is showing in weird lines and sags.

Okay but seriously, what in the actual heck...it looks like my face is melting.

https://imgur.com/a/8uIAp

So two things. One, I found out that I was given the option to switch to lupron, which I think will be a healthier choice for me, and two I started the paperwork to have my named changed to Jayden! Yay! Also, my boobs ache so baaaad, but I love it! 😫😂

If any mods have the power to change title name to Jayden, I'll totally give throw some digi-hugs your way lol

<hugs>   ;)

Quote from: AutumnGurl81 on April 17, 2018, 10:43:50 PM
So two things. One, I found out that I was given the option to switch to lupron, which I think will be a healthier choice for me, and two I started the paperwork to have my named changed to Jayden! Yay! Also, my boobs ache so baaaad, but I love it! 😫😂

If any mods have the power to change title name to Jayden, I'll totally give throw some digi-hugs your way lol

LOVE the name and yay for the boob ache. Ditto for me...ain't it great?!  ;D

Jayden, congrats on starting HRT!   :)

Congrats on everything.  Especially the boobs and the name change.

Thanks all you sweet ladies! Hugs to whoever fixed the thread title, thank you! ❤️

Quick fun update, came out at work. Pretty much everyone I know now knows about me. Today, my camera recognized me as female with a beanie, glasses, and no makeup.

AWESOME!  Huge milestone - success!

Hiiii! It feels like it's been a minute since I've been around here. Hope everyone is doing well. I'm going to browse the threads here in a minute. Just wanted to do a quick life update. Finally moved into my new place, getting out of the old was actually an unpleasant event, but I'm glad it's over! My new place is great, I've just been setting up since Thursday, keeping busy. It's nice to be myself when I'm at home! My timeline for switching over to injection got pushed several weeks, but I'm excited about that. Today marks five months HRT (one month break in the middle), but it also marks a new point in my life that I'm thankful for. So many people have been supportive now that I'm out to almost everyone I know. There are a few here and there that struggle, but that's okay! I should be able to start growing my hair out within the next month! Also excited to unleash that 😊

The next big step is telling my babies about the divorce (end of this week). All and all I hope things stay the same course they're going now. Had a couple scares--health issues totally unrelated to hrt-- over the last month for both me and my daughter, but all is well. Ta-ta for now, hugs to everyone!

I'm at 4.5 months of total HRT. With a 3 week break in there. Today I'm officially switching over to a once a month lupron inj, and EV shot weekly. I feel like I've seen results since I started--all together, and I'm really happy about that. I also feel like things are really going to kick once I start this new phase! And I'm almost a bit nervous--out of excitement.

Also, I finally went out this Saturday as myself, to meet up with some great gals. It was amazing to be in a social atmosphere and just be able to relax and be me. I'm trying to be patient about going full-time, mainly because my children don't know yet. I feel like they're going to start noticing my physical changes eventually, right?? Or maybe not, since they see me so often. I hate faking guy mode, grrrr....it violates so much of who I am.

Anyways, my place is all set up and I've finally started to settle in. The ex doesn't seem to be in war mode anymore (kinda), even though she's not the nicest in person--and that's okay. We are filling and uncontested divorce (for now), which I consider to be a win.  :)

List of changes to date:

Lip color is lighter, they are much more plump.
Starting to get slight fat distribution to hips, bootie, and upper thighs.
Lower half of face has thinned out significantly & cheeks are more noticable.
Eyes look larger & slightly lighter, lashes are darker and longer on top & bottom.
Skin has softened and lightened in complexion/tone.
Muscle loss is occuring/ongoing--slowly.
Orgasms are strangely longer and wavy.
I have a great hairline and full head of hair, but I noticed hair is starting to grow around the upper corners of my forehead.
Softer looking nails.
What little body hair I have, arms legs, arm pits, pelvic, have all slowed in growth and quite a bit in thickness, my arm hair is mostly blonde.

I think that's it. If I think of anything else I'll add it in!

Hello everyone!

For those that are interested, here is a little update on my timeline as I approach the seven month mark. And also--I might add, my experience switching from Spironolactone to Lupron.


My Levels as of 19 July:

-Testosterone - 12ng/dl

-Estradiol - 189pg/ml

-Prolactin - 17.4

-All bodily functions are perfect.

After six weeks of Lupron, it's pretty much nuked my T levels. My endo says it's possible they will drop even more. But, essentially after three-ish weeks of t-spike hell, it seems to have starting working well. All my levels are pretty much perfectly in female range. My blood was drawn in the morning, two weeks after my lupron shot and 6 days after my weekly E shot.

Things I've noticed, and that've happened. My skin is starting to soften more, my face is softening. I'm full-time even though my hair is fairly short and has to stay that way, until my waiver to grow it out is approved. I can't tell if people are clocking me or checking me out--try to not pay attention but sometimes it feels wierd. I've completed six lazer sessions, all thats left for now are a few small patches of dark hair, and blondes. Facial hair grows slow, and doesn't show through as much as before--pretty easy to hide with very little makeup now--which must've been due to spikes in T.

My ex-wife still hates me. I managed to get my kids into therapy and low and behold they are accepting of everything and even excited for me, the hardest part for them has been the divorce.

I'm pretty happy for the most part. Settled into my new place though adjusting to the losses has been tough, but something that will get easier over time. I've scheduled my rhinoplasty for Febuary 2019 (Yay!)

So that's about it for now, hope everyone is doing well!

Quote from: AutumnGurl81 on July 22, 2018, 01:36:05 AM
I'm full-time even though my hair is fairly short and has to stay that way, until my waiver to grow it out is approved.

Waiver?

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

Quote from: cluck1992 on July 22, 2018, 05:42:29 AM

Waiver?

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

I'm active duty military.

Awww, on that note, thank you for your service!!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

Quote from: cluck1992 on July 22, 2018, 11:43:55 AM
Awww, on that note, thank you for your service!!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

Thank you for your support! Shout-out to all the service members and vets on here, those who've come before me--thank YOU!

Hello again Jayden

As you know we corresponded on this thread earlier and I note you were off HRT 3 weeks and then resumed and I assume you have now physically been taking HRT 6 months and a few days. Thank you for the update; glad to hear things are progressing well physically and reasonably well emotionally.

I am a little behind you at 24 weeks HRT and next month I shall publish my 6 months Blood Test Results for E and T and Prolactin. After 3 months my Prolactin was high but my doctor is watching it and in fact I had my blood drawn today just Prolactin and I shall shortly see the result.

I am sorry that your wife did not change her mind and that you are getting a divorce but happy that your children are fully accepting.

Hugs

Pamela

Quote from: pamelatransuk on July 23, 2018, 06:08:12 AM
Hello again Jayden

As you know we corresponded on this thread earlier and I note you were off HRT 3 weeks and then resumed and I assume you have now physically been taking HRT 6 months and a few days. Thank you for the update; glad to hear things are progressing well physically and reasonably well emotionally.

I am a little behind you at 24 weeks HRT and next month I shall publish my 6 months Blood Test Results for E and T and Prolactin. After 3 months my Prolactin was high but my doctor is watching it and in fact I had my blood drawn today just Prolactin and I shall shortly see the result.

I am sorry that your wife did not change her mind and that you are getting a divorce but happy that your children are fully accepting.

Hugs

Pamela

Thanks for the kind words Pamela! Congratulations on your time and progress as well, and all the best with your labs!

Hopefully the wife eventually comes around in the coparent deaprtment, but time will tell. I'm super grateful for my babies being so accepting.

XOXO

Well, it's been a rollercoaster of 10.5 months but here I am now. One week post-op rhinoplasty only. Angle is to help see nose symmetry.

(https://imgur.com/BWnbDhY)

https://imgur.com/BWnbDhY

-not sure why it won't let me embed the image?

Happy thanksgiving!

Xoxo

You look wonderful! Happy Thanksgiving to you as well!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk