Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Did your personality change from the time you were still a boy to now?
I've always been very shy, which I hate it, because I consider myself extroverted. I always want to go up to people and engage in small talk or give them friendly advice but I'm just too shy to approach anyone. So I wonder if transitioning will make me more sociable.
Did you guys become more outgoing, less approachable, or no change.

I can't really call it a personality change, as it was really just me becoming more comfortable in my own skin. Pre-transition I was always extremely quiet and shy the from social anxiety of actually being male... after I went full time that anxiety reduced by a significant amount for me to seem like an entirely different person.

I don't know how quite to put it, but when you feel more like yourself you're more likely to do things you enjoy without caring what others think. Does that make sense?

My personality did not change instantly but rather subtle changes as I transitioned and became full time.  I am not the ruff and tumble guy I once was... no more belly bumps with guys or gals, no passing gas or burping indiscriminately, never leave the house without making sure that my hair looks good and I am decently dressed.   As a guy I could wake up in the morning and be out of the house in 5 minutes... now it is at least a half hour to an hour.   I tend to be gentler and kinder, more caring and exhibit more empathy, including uncontrolled crying at times.  I consider all of these good changes.

I wouldn't know.  No one that knows me very well has mentioned anything, especially my wife.  I like to think that I'm acting the same but who can say for certain.  I mean I didn't wake up one morning and had a sudden urge to watch musicals and sing along.  I still don't.  The only musical I can watch is Hudson Hawk.

Internally I would say no, other than calm and happy.  Others have said dramatically yes.  They think I'm happier and more approachable.  People talk to me now.  Honestly hrt is one of the best things I've ever experienced for this.

Bari Jo

My personality didn't change. I am more confident in myself and my appearance. That part does come through.

In some ways yes. I used to be reserved and in control of all emotion. I was bland as I did not want to stand out. These things changed.  My emotions are fully integrated in my thoughts. I wear my heart on my sleeve so to stay. I talk a lot more. I share things that I never would have before. I am free now. That is the difference.

I don't think my personality has changed a lot, but it has changed some. 

I am still strongly introverted: more than four people in a room is a crowd to me.  But I am less shy than I was, and more willing to take the initiative in meeting new people now. 

I seldom feel the need to hide or to censor myself any more.  I think this comes out as my being more outgoing.  In fact, I kind of like being seen, and put some effort into my appearance.

Mostly, I am more confident and relaxed.  And I am happier.

Quote from: RobynTx on February 08, 2018, 04:13:28 PM
I wouldn't know.  No one that knows me very well has mentioned anything, especially my wife.  I like to think that I'm acting the same but who can say for certain.  I mean I didn't wake up one morning and had a sudden urge to watch musicals and sing along.  I still don't.  The only musical I can watch is Hudson Hawk.

Bunny... Ball, Ball

Seriously though, no Mamma Mia? No Cats, Wicked, Wizard of Oz, Chicago, Into the Woods, Grease 2, Grease 1 for an older generation, Jesus Christ Super Star, or even Best Little Whorehouse in Texas?

No Mulan? "When will my reflection show who I am inside?"
Frozen?
The Sound of Music?
Well, we are all different and that is probably a good thing. 😊


Some days a bit of both. I don't talk to guys very much anymore, too many reasons to count so I won't go into that. I talk to girls much, much more now than I have since I hit puberty. Possibly the only real changes were letting go of the things that were not me and embracing the things that were. Who knows.
Maybe look at transition as...
Okay, so life is a car. We have been a passenger, we have at times had destinations that we didn't choose for ourselves, we have even at times been using the wrong map. Transition was just taking control when we didn't or couldn't before. The thing is, before, during and after transition it is OUR car! Our destination, our direction, all we have to do is decide, accelerate, break and adjust the course when needed.
I think that life is becoming more yourself as you go along. Isn't that why we transitioned?

My personality has not changed so much as it has been uncovered and revealed.  Now that I no longer hide behind a false front, I have changed from introvert to slightly extrovert.  My therapist and I had a good discussion on this yesterday.

It seems to be part my my self-acceptance and becoming more comfortable in my skin.

Quote from: and5678 on February 08, 2018, 03:56:17 PM
I can't really call it a personality change, as it was really just me becoming more comfortable in my own skin. Pre-transition I was always extremely quiet and shy the from social anxiety of actually being male... after I went full time that anxiety reduced by a significant amount for me to seem like an entirely different person.

I don't know how quite to put it, but when you feel more like yourself you're more likely to do things you enjoy without caring what others think. Does that make sense?

This is how it's been for me. I don't get flustered so easily anymore, and if someone has irritated me then they know about it. I can articulate myself much better because I have more confidence. I think it has to do with my hormones finally being in sync with my brain.

My personality hasn't changed but I'm no longer anxious to speak up.

Less social anxiety. Less introversion (although still introverted). More comfortable talking to people I don't know. More willing to speak up for myself. More assertive.

I wouldn't call that a change in personality. It's more like my dysphoria and my shame about being trans are no longer distorting my personality. The HRT helped a little, but the big shift was when I socially transitioned.

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It seems like I just need to be comfortable in my skin. :) thanks!

I will say no may personality did not change, my views have not changed, what has change is I no longer act fake I no
longer have to try to act like someone I am not I can be myself a lot of the stuff I did I did because I thought that is what males do. So that is what changed on me.

Quote from: FinallyMichelle on February 08, 2018, 05:23:12 PM
Bunny... Ball, Ball

Seriously though, no Mamma Mia? No Cats, Wicked, Wizard of Oz, Chicago, Into the Woods, Grease 2, Grease 1 for an older generation, Jesus Christ Super Star, or even Best Little Whorehouse in Texas?

No Mulan? "When will my reflection show who I am inside?"
Frozen?
The Sound of Music?
Well, we are all different and that is probably a good thing. 😊

To be honest I haven't tried watching one since I began my journey. 

You forget Rocky Picture Horror Show.  ;D

I become more confident when I started presenting as a woman.. In I went from shy in the corner to the life and center of the party.. with that my life just got better and better

My wife says I'm more emotional now and that I talk more. 

I don't think I'm more emotional, it's just that I don't have the need to hide things anymore.  So something that might have made me sad before, I don't worry about letting the tears come now. 

Talking more?  Maybe.  Think it would be a confidence thing.  I don't have that constant identity struggle to deal with anymore. 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

My only difference is I'm happier and more comfortable other then that no

Yes and no. 

I've always been kind of an emotional person, but more than anything else, I calmed down after I transitioned, because I was finally taking care of what caused me so much anguish.  I went full time in late 2000, and I remember commenting to a coworker in 2001, that it almost seemed to me, like I was a different person.  She agreed with me.  When I asked her what she saw in me, that made me seem different, she told me that before I transitioned, I basically behaved in one of two ways, I was either angry, or I was sad (which makes sense, since I was a complete and utter mess by the time, I got in touch with an area gender program in late 1998 - you most assuredly did NOT want to be around me, because I was a very unpleasant person [I had reached a point where I was contemplating suicide, if I didn't do something to start transitioning in the near future]).  There was no generally happy or content state for me.  My coworker told me that after I transitioned, I looked so much happier (especially with myself), and calmer (things didn't set me off anywhere near as much as they had before), and that transitioning had been a good thing for me to do.

I think that for many of us, a lot of the personality changes come from the calming effect that occurs, when we finally deal with the anguish that gender dysphoria causes us.

Ellen
HRT - 1999
Orchiectomy - 2001
SRS (Yeah!!!) - 2003 by Suporn

Quote from: Danielle79 on February 08, 2018, 06:18:11 PM
Less social anxiety. Less introversion (although still introverted). More comfortable talking to people I don't know. More willing to speak up for myself. More assertive.

I wouldn't call that a change in personality. It's more like my dysphoria and my shame about being trans are no longer distorting my personality. The HRT helped a little, but the big shift was when I socially transitioned.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Same the hrt is helping me a bit now. I think when I go full time it'll be more noticable

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Before starting HRT and a believer that any journey requires research I did extensive research and consulted a number of gender therapist. I will try and summarise my findings and my personal experiences. To respect the sensivities of others on this forum, I add, these are my experiences as an older transitioner and my intrepretation of the research.

An E mind and T mind percieves the world differently, we hear and see the same events but our mind processes it slightly differently, mostly in the empathy and emotional side. The difference varies from person to person. As our mind evolves and becomes accustomed to its new fuel of E our initial perceptions will change.There are many transitioners more experienced than me on this forum and I remember being advised by my therapist and by a forum member not to commit to any quick changes that may be brought on by this sudden change, and in my case empathy and guilty feeling of my lack of empathy as a male. At that time in an euphoric mood with HRT I kinda felt like a know it all and behaved in an impratical manner.. Now 6 years on I realise I acted like a young girl, more like my daughter. HRT is a rebirth of how we percieve the world, we now percieve it through the mind of a female.

The changes in my behavior and especially my empathy is very noticable. I love my quote about men. So often we hear men use the excuse "I did not do anything wrong", today I add "but you could have done something right".

I will evolve further as my E mind matures and I am grateful for the advice that so many older transitioners have given me. I love my old life but I love my life today even more.

I can't tell you what your experience will be, but if your issue is shyness, I can speak to that. I tend to be shy, not tremendously so, but it has always been something that holds me back. I have wrestled with it. In my case, when I transitioned, I was even more shy for a while because everything was new. The beginning of transitioning for me was scary (duh) and I picked out a safe place to land until I caught my breath. The good news is that after that initial period, I am back to the same level of shyness. I actually am more comfortable being someone who thinks a bit before speaking and doesn't feel the need to blurt out a one liner for a laugh. My personality has definitely changed for the better. I am very different  in my level of self satisfaction. If transition is right for someone, that tends to happen.
Moni

Quote from: warlockmaker on February 09, 2018, 10:13:05 PM


The changes in my behavior and especially my empathy is very noticable. I love my quote about men. So often we hear men use the excuse "I did not do anything wrong", today I add "but you could have done something right".

Bingo.

I think I've realised this about things that I did in the past while under the influence of T.  Some of them would fall into that category and others I tried to shove there with the didn't do anything wrong rationalization, especially when I was wrong. 

I'm not blaming the T poisoning for things I did, but it did affect the way I thought about and rationalized them. 

Sometimes now when I'm in a down mood
I'll think about my life and I realize "wow, I could have been a better person"


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I'm less guarded and more relaxed and open now since I'm not carrying around the trans "secret"
anymore, but I'm still a little shy when I first meet someone, so actually I guess I am still a little guarded afterall, lol.

snipped: 

Quote from: warlockmaker on February 09, 2018, 10:13:05 PM

The changes in my behavior and especially my empathy is very noticeable. I love my quote about men. So often we hear men use the excuse "I did not do anything wrong", today I add "but you could have done something right".

YES, for sure warlockmaker, as it was for you, it is my empathy that has really come to the forefront in my personality.  I can hardly watch some movies, or observe some real life situations without shedding tears, I keep my tissues nearby at all times.   

For me -

HRT immediately calmed me (like within a few days).  I know it's supposed to take longer, but all I know is that it has done more than I could have imagined - I was fairly quick to get angry before HRT.  Now it takes a lot to get me angry.  Basically my emotions make sense and fit my mind, and, if anything, are *less* susceptible to huge swings.  I'm definitely a lot happier, and my wife noticed the change in me almost immediately too - she tells me I'm way calmer than I was before.

As I walk more and more in my real gender, learning to confront fear has changed me a lot.  I used to be ruled by fear - fear of new situations, of rejection, of telling people who I am.  I can honestly say most of that is gone.  That frees me to do what i want to do, rather than hiding.  So I'm definitely more adventurous and outgoing!

It's also improved my relationship with family - when you don't have to hide stuff, it will be easier to have a relationship.

I'm sure there are other personality things it changed.

What it didn't change: My hobbies, the joy in riding a motorcycle, my love for my wife, my curiosity, or my intellect.  The parts of me that I liked from when I was living as him are still here.  It's just that a lot of what I didn't like is gone.

To the OP: you're in for a wonderful ride.  :)

Well, ever since starting HRT 5 years ago, I'm more emotional, but at the same time, more technical about things. Definitely more talkative. Things that took brute force, like carrying 90lbs sacks of cement, I could easily do, carrying 60lbs rucksacks, and dog on my shoulders, up steep hills/mountains, were no problems and even joyful, brute strength were the rule then, but lots of extreme self loathing too(pain numbed the self loathing/gender dysphoria). Now, I use leverage and technical ability, what is essential and talk it out more(1/3 of my upper body strength/1/2 of lower body strength). I have literally no male friends, just my best military brother, and two other males(i.e. one gay, the other not/married). Women seem comfortable around me, men, not so much.

I noticed too(i.e.I was never a bully, always reserved), that women square off with me a lot more, even female cinderellas(i.e. close snide remarks); men seem predatory, even monsterish now; before hrt, ANY female(i.e. except the most sociopath with a gun), would be terrified to square off with me(i.e. always bring there squad of males), alpha males thought twice before engaging me(i.e. I always have been a Bravo/B male, now B female/gendered(Never been an Alpha Male/Female), based on technical ability).

Hrt does change you personality wise. I'm more humane/feel more now(i.e. post hrt I'm more apt to give warnings/before hrt, I'd just let trespassers step on my personal space landmines). Pre hrt, never thinked where I went, JUST WENT AND DID, dead weight stayed behind/post hrt, I greatly think and plan my forays/missions and think about my cargo's handling/well being.

YMMV
P.S. I live in South/Southcentral part of L.A., CA., pretty sure Detroit, St. Louis, Philly, Cleveland, and Chicago, have their rough parts too, so you can get context of my narrative.

Quote from: warlockmaker on February 09, 2018, 10:13:05 PM
Before starting HRT and a believer that any journey requires research I did extensive research and consulted a number of gender therapist. I will try and summarise my findings and my personal experiences. To respect the sensivities of others on this forum, I add, these are my experiences as an older transitioner and my intrepretation of the research.

An E mind and T mind percieves the world differently, we hear and see the same events but our mind processes it slightly differently, mostly in the empathy and emotional side. The difference varies from person to person. As our mind evolves and becomes accustomed to its new fuel of E our initial perceptions will change.There are many transitioners more experienced than me on this forum and I remember being advised by my therapist and by a forum member not to commit to any quick changes that may be brought on by this sudden change, and in my case empathy and guilty feeling of my lack of empathy as a male. At that time in an euphoric mood with HRT I kinda felt like a know it all and behaved in an impratical manner.. Now 6 years on I realise I acted like a young girl, more like my daughter. HRT is a rebirth of how we percieve the world, we now percieve it through the mind of a female.

The changes in my behavior and especially my empathy is very noticable. I love my quote about men. So often we hear men use the excuse "I did not do anything wrong", today I add "but you could have done something right".

I will evolve further as my E mind matures and I am grateful for the advice that so many older transitioners have given me. I love my old life but I love my life today even more.

You said what I couldn't put words to. I thought it was just me but I feel and act like a teenage girl.
My thought process has changed since starting HRT. Before HRT things that people might say about me would have been answered in a fight. But now I've been on HRT over a year things are so vastly different.
I am very emotional now and get my feelings hurt easily. I want to dance everytime I hear music and I have a strong liking for the color pink now. I used to hate wearing shorts and now can't wait for warmer weather so I can wear my shorts or swimsuit to the lake.
I know I'm 60yrs old but I have been told I look like I'm in my 40's since starting HRT. I don't feel 60 I feel young again. I know I'm not the best looking lady and I may never pass 100% but who cares.
If someone doesn't like the way I look they can turn their head.
I am happy and that's all that matters. I wasted 59yrs being an unhappy mess and now it's my time to shine no matter how silly or goofy I act. After all are we not born again? Given a second chance at life? Damn right we were and I for one refuse to just sit on the side and let life pass me by again.



Love
Bobbie LeAnn

Update to my first post: I had a family get together last weekend with immediate family and one sibling told me afterwards that I'm not the ->-bleeped-<- I used to be.  I thought it was a strange comment but I can see it looking back. 

Quote from: RobynTx on March 08, 2018, 03:15:13 PM
Update to my first post: I had a family get together last weekend with immediate family and one sibling told me afterwards that I'm not the ->-bleeped-<- I used to be.  I thought it was a strange comment but I can see it looking back.

@ RobynTx:   Ha, ha... that was "funny:" for you to hear I bet, at least the comment came from a brother of sister and not some co-worker or casual friend.
Aspiringperson

Quote from: Aspiringperson on March 08, 2018, 03:26:41 PM
@ RobynTx:   Ha, ha... that was "funny:" for you to hear I bet, at least the comment came from a brother of sister and not some co-worker or casual friend.
Aspiringperson

I have to admit that I was a little upset at first to be honest.  I was thinking "great, what else are they not telling me about what they think of me" but I got over it and am kinda glad.  It tells me that they are accepting and that my male side is dead.

My personality changed definitely in these four to five months.

I didn´t transition into a woman.

I transitioned into an angry transwoman activist!  >:-)

The person that died last autumn, was quiet, never making noice and never taking a stand.

I´m not quiet and I will keep on screaming as long as it takes to change the transgender law in Finland!

Quote from: Mendi on March 09, 2018, 11:08:13 PM
The person that died last autumn, was quiet, never making noice and never taking a stand.

Oh, yes, me too!

I'm also a *lot* more active in the tech community I'm part of - heck, I'll be giving a talk in both the US and hopefully Europe this year, something I never would have done before I transitioned.

Mine so far has remained unchanged, and I think that will continue to be the case. I just hid from the world, but I was never anti social in person, so I haven't really became more outgoing or anything. I was never a masculine, or as someone else said "rough and tumble", guy to begin with. I was an overly sensitive kid, and an overly sensitive adult regardless of gender. I think what has and what will change though is that I'm able to express parts of my personality more openly.