Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Adam.D on February 14, 2018, 02:46:36 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming Out to Large Family
Post by: Adam.D on February 14, 2018, 02:46:36 PM
Post by: Adam.D on February 14, 2018, 02:46:36 PM
Heyo.
I'm at the very start of my transition. I've been taking T for 2 weeks now, and i've barely noticed any change in my body. I'm at that point where i'm realizing i'm going to need to come out to my extended family in the next 3 months. I've lived most of my life as a lesbian, and that was a hard won fight. They still aren't very accepting of me loving and dating women. I'm 27 and i've never brought a girlfriend to a family function or even really mentioned the people that i've dated.
Now i'm trying to figure out how to tell them that i'm a man. I've never been feminine, but they saw it as being a tom boy and so they accepted it as long as I didn't cross any lines. Well, this is me officially hop, skipping, and jumping right on across that line.
My family is large. There are 90 of them, and about 40 I see about 4 times a year. I don't want to miss out on my little cousins growing up and I have appreciated the love that they've shown me, but I can't see them being okay wit this. I don't think that I have it in me to be some shameful and sinful piece of gossip. I don't know how I can do that to my mother and my grandma. My grandma, especially. She's never going to accept or understand this. She already talks a bunch of crap about my short hair and button up shirts. She's going to lose her everlasting mind when I grow a beard. There's no avoiding these people. I see them ALL OF THE TIME.
I've waited this long to transition because of them, and I know I can't wait any longer, but i'm just scared, ya'll. I'm just scared. Thanks for listening.
I'm at the very start of my transition. I've been taking T for 2 weeks now, and i've barely noticed any change in my body. I'm at that point where i'm realizing i'm going to need to come out to my extended family in the next 3 months. I've lived most of my life as a lesbian, and that was a hard won fight. They still aren't very accepting of me loving and dating women. I'm 27 and i've never brought a girlfriend to a family function or even really mentioned the people that i've dated.
Now i'm trying to figure out how to tell them that i'm a man. I've never been feminine, but they saw it as being a tom boy and so they accepted it as long as I didn't cross any lines. Well, this is me officially hop, skipping, and jumping right on across that line.
My family is large. There are 90 of them, and about 40 I see about 4 times a year. I don't want to miss out on my little cousins growing up and I have appreciated the love that they've shown me, but I can't see them being okay wit this. I don't think that I have it in me to be some shameful and sinful piece of gossip. I don't know how I can do that to my mother and my grandma. My grandma, especially. She's never going to accept or understand this. She already talks a bunch of crap about my short hair and button up shirts. She's going to lose her everlasting mind when I grow a beard. There's no avoiding these people. I see them ALL OF THE TIME.
I've waited this long to transition because of them, and I know I can't wait any longer, but i'm just scared, ya'll. I'm just scared. Thanks for listening.
Title: Re: Coming Out to Large Family
Post by: KathyLauren on February 14, 2018, 07:25:27 PM
Post by: KathyLauren on February 14, 2018, 07:25:27 PM
Yes, it is scary coming out to family. I was scared, and I come from a small family.
But remember, you are not shameful or sinful. If you become a subject of gossip, that is their bad, not yours. You clearly aren't rejecting them. You have made it clear to us that you want to remain on good terms with them. So if they reject you, that will hurt, I know, but it is not your doing.
All you are doing is wanting to live your life as yourself. You have the right to do that; it is all that anyone wants. And at 27, no one has the right to tell you you can't.
Some of them might surprise you. I was pleasantly surprised by the support I got from a family mamber who I was sure would reject me.
You can do this!
But remember, you are not shameful or sinful. If you become a subject of gossip, that is their bad, not yours. You clearly aren't rejecting them. You have made it clear to us that you want to remain on good terms with them. So if they reject you, that will hurt, I know, but it is not your doing.
All you are doing is wanting to live your life as yourself. You have the right to do that; it is all that anyone wants. And at 27, no one has the right to tell you you can't.
Some of them might surprise you. I was pleasantly surprised by the support I got from a family mamber who I was sure would reject me.
You can do this!
Title: Re: Coming Out to Large Family
Post by: Elis on February 14, 2018, 09:51:27 PM
Post by: Elis on February 14, 2018, 09:51:27 PM
have a largish family; which I rarely see. I decided to just send an email casually saying I'm trans, I'm on T to masculinise my body, this is my new name and these are my pronouns, if you have any questions just ask.
I thought it best to make it sound casual and not make a big deal about it.
Best of luck
I thought it best to make it sound casual and not make a big deal about it.
Best of luck
Title: Re: Coming Out to Large Family
Post by: Allison S on February 15, 2018, 02:01:54 AM
Post by: Allison S on February 15, 2018, 02:01:54 AM
I hear T changes faster than E. I should know since I went through male puberty. I'm 27 and started hrt a few months ago. They're noticing changes and especially my mom looks at me like she's shocked every time she sees me lol I don't think I'm changing much or fast enough!
One of my sisters knows and said she'll love and support me no matter what. But she did suggest that I "dress up" at night only.
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One of my sisters knows and said she'll love and support me no matter what. But she did suggest that I "dress up" at night only.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk