Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I have a 15 yr old trans son who has been out for a couple of years. He is my everything. I love him no matter what but this is hard for me. I just hope that nothing traumatic made him trans.I just want him to be happy. He wants to start T asap so we will begin that journey sooner than later.Any other parents of trans teens,teens,or anyone with advice to offer I would welcome hearing from.

Hi, Sparklefish, and welcome.  Thank you for being there to support your son.

Quote from: Sparklefish on February 15, 2018, 07:06:23 PMI just hope that nothing traumatic made him trans.

I just want to set your mind to rest about this.  There is no evidence that being trans is related to childhood trauma.  Most experts believe it is something you are born with: the gender of the brain doesn't match the sex of the genitals.  You can't "make" someone trans, just as you can't make them not trans.

You might want to check out this post from earlier today:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=234215.0

It's from a mother who is looking to help her teen too. Good luck.

To the best of our knowledge, we are transgender at the time of birth. While the medical evidence is slim, it appears that you son was exposed to higher levels of testosterone before birth causing him to develop a masculine brain. There are several possible reasons for the high testosterone including his body produced it while it was developing. With MTFs the problem is insufficient testosterone and again, there are several reasons this could have happened. There is no reason to blame yourself and it appears you are taking the correct steps to help your son.

Oh I am so so so relieved to hear that! I really am.That is the one thing that has been bugging me. I could just cry tears of relief.I just want him to be happy. As my baby got older I never thought he was straight so this all makes a lot of sense.I am going to check out the link.Thank you all so much!

Sparklefish, welcome to the forum! I applaud you for supporting your son. And as others said, there's nothing you could have done to change it and it's not your fault :) we were born this way. There's tons of trans people here with extremely different life stories, so nurture doesn't really play a part in this, the way our parents and people around us react to the news do; having a support system makes a world of difference and it will be easier for your son to become a happy and successful adult man with your support.

They actually have studies that transgirls as young as 5 start to pronounce their S sounds like cis girls. This is a feature that is known to Gay males. My friend is a speech therapist and my sons minor is Linguistics..both assure me that this is true. So, it would seem that we are born either Cis or Trans. Nothing anyone can do about it....

As a parent, I believe that raising our children is not about us and what our expectations are for our children. It is about them. If they find meaning in living as their true authentic selves, that is what matters, and you are the best parent by helping them to discover that.

Nothing has to happen for someone to out as trans, we simply are just born this way and we feel we are in the wrong body. This can be both distressing and also uncomfortable for us, we need some type of support, I am trans F to M my self and honestly nothing happened, I have felt as if I was born in the wrong body and the wrong gender all my life, I just did not understand it until later on in life. My advise to you:

-Call them he/him NEVER use her/she, this only make us remember the one thing that makes us so miserable.

-Be supportive and when they get their period do NOT tell the something on the terms of "suck it up" this is a female specific problem and for most/some one of the things they are discussed by that their body does. Understand that to them their mind and soul are male so this sets off an alarm to them and they could freak out panicking, because we think like a male, if a boy's penis started bleeding they would or should be highly concerned and freak out.

-Don't ever give up on them. It can be frustrating wanting to help them but not knowing how or being able to.

You need to accept this, remember you did nothing to make them this way and nothing had happened to make them this way. This is just how we are born, do what ever you can as soon as you can to get them what they need, it is like living in hell being trans because our body is more a prison, thanks to being born the wrong gender. Good luck to you!

You might wanna check out this thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234889.0.html

Welcome Sparklefish. I am 40 years old FtM. I've been a boy since birth. I put up a fight as a toddler when mom tried to put cute girly cloths on me. I screamed and kicked and fought until she took them off again.

There is no trauma behind being transgender. We are born this way.

Be happy your son is open about this and wants your support. I was not open with it. I felt like a freak until I was 30 years old and found out about the term transgender on internet. At that time I had tried to be the perfect mother and wife. I ended up deeply depressed and suicidal. I don't want to scare you but that is the reality for many of us being transgender in the closet.

You have found a great place for support an knowledge. I hope your son also finds his way here when the time is right. Everyone is very supportive and helpful.


Tony

Thank you all so much for your words. I am in a much better place now. So is my son. We have had a lot of conversations about how he knew from a young age he was trans. and always felt like a boy. So now I just think of my son as a teenage boy who is dating,making friends,and just being himself. It is great to see him happy and I'm so blessed that he feels secure enough to talk to me and his dad. :)

Quote from: Sparklefish on April 18, 2018, 10:51:50 PM
Thank you all so much for your words. I am in a much better place now. So is my son. We have had a lot of conversations about how he knew from a young age he was trans. and always felt like a boy. So now I just think of my son as a teenage boy who is dating,making friends,and just being himself. It is great to see him happy and I'm so blessed that he feels secure enough to talk to me and his dad. :)

So good to hear!!! :)

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