Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I don't know how much longer I can continue living looking like a man.
I know for financial reasons I can't do anything major before middle of next year but then it should be game on.

Private GP is out of my price range right now and my normal GP is still waiting for all my medical records to be sent over to their practice before I can even have an appointment.

But now I finally have a decent amount of casual female clothes (not just pretty dresses) I look in the mirror and see myself, Katie.
Today at work, I don't know who I am looking at. Some guy I guess.

I'm female all the time even in male clothes and with this silly male face and I don't like to see that, so either I put on makeup or avoid mirrors.
I guess I'm full time in my own house but nowhere else. But now I am gaining confidence about not looking too male,  I am going to start going out dressed as myself.
It'll be early hours of the morning to start with until I have perfected my walk but eventually pushing towards just doing it all the time.

What I'm asking really is, should I go full time knowing that its going to be a while before a doctor gives me hormones, or should I hold off until I am actually on them to ensure my body is in tune with my mind?

What did you lovlies do and why? :)

Hi Katie, I think going full time is only something you can answer yourself. If you feel confident in yourself than ya go full time there is no issue with that.  I myself did not have confidence in myself and waited about 7 months after hrt but I never had confidence in myself. Every one is different but if you are confident in your self go for it.

I can't answer a question that starts with "Should I..."  Only you can answer that.

I started full-time three months after I started HRT.  I wanted to see the beginnings of some physical changes before committing myself to full-time.

However, it sounds like you are feeling more confident about your presentation than I was at the time.  It sounds like continuing to wait is weighing on you.  If you are comfortable with your presentation, why wait?  This step is all about your comfort level.

Quote from: KathyLauren on February 17, 2018, 07:40:38 AM
I can't answer a question that starts with "Should I..."  Only you can answer that.

I started full-time three months after I started HRT.  I wanted to see the beginnings of some physical changes before committing myself to full-time.

However, it sounds like you are feeling more confident about your presentation than I was at the time.  It sounds like continuing to wait is weighing on you.  If you are comfortable with your presentation, why wait?  This step is all about your comfort level.

I have to wait until next year for a financial situation that means I can't leave this job and because of the nature of my job, I will need to leave.
I've a LONG way to go to be confident enough to live as I should be. I mean I've not even left the house yet. But it is something I need the original start doing.
I know it's just a silly pipe dream but I just wish nobody cared about how other people dress and look so we could all just go out however we wanted.
Ah but wishes in one hand and poop in the one other...

Went full time before hormones, just couldn't stand another second of not being myself.

It's a personal choice, and one could argue that it takes several years for the effects of HRT to make a difference in our appearance, and during that time our hair would be at a length we are happy with; we could save money for FFS or other bit of work if we need it, have laser and/or electrolysis, perfect our female voice, walk, mannerisms, and acclimate to blending in with other women by gradually going out as our true self, and then getting to the point that we are out everywhere except work, and then making somewhat of a seamless transition from part-time to full-time. Or, we can go full-time asap, and feel happier living authentically, but run a greater risk of being discriminated against, and possibly lose our job (you can still lose your job if you wait, but the difference is that in the first example you are in a more comfortable position), and it could be more difficult to find a new one during the awkward transition stages). I'm sure that immediate full-time transition works for some, but probably not for the vast majority of us; sometimes we're a lot better off delaying gratification, and doing what needs to be done, in order to achieve the best possible result.

     Hi Katie Everyone has their own way of transitioning a lot of my steps have come by chance  when I felt I was almost ready most notably my coming out I felt I would be ready by late spring this year and was preparing to come out then on Dec 8th last year I found out I had been outed at work while off on sick leave my employer has about 50 people here in my small town of 500 so no more secret I went fulltime Dec 9th here in Canada we are protected and my job was safe things have gone very well in town It should be your choice as to when you wish to come out your situation makes a big difference on when it is best for you I wish you all the best on this difficult and life changing choice
     You have our support here as always

     bobbisue :)

I was full-time for 6 months before starting hormones and it was pretty brutal but I wouldn't have changed a thing.  It helped me to develop a tougher skin about being misgendered and convinced me that I could do this even without hormones if I had too.  Also, it gave me an important metric to see how others gauged my progress. Cis people are brutal. If they read you as male, regardless of if you are wearing female clothes and makeup, they WILL misgender you. At least a goodly portion of them anyway.

As an aside, it's funny that by deliberately misgendering you they are emasculating you in their way of thinking. So I was always like, "The jokes on you. I WANT to be emasculated!"

Hi Katie,

  I was on hrt about a month after I realized I was trans. Almost 8 months later  I was surprised that I had begun full time almost a month earlier. How that came about is a story in and of itself. And there is a sory of it here on Susan's Place because I documented every bit of it in my  Road Trip  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,224341.0.html) thread. The TLDR version I went on a trip not intended to present as female except for the first couple of days and wound up doing it virtually the whole time. My full time date is countered from the last time I changed into male presentation. While driving the last part of my trip home I no longer saw any reason to change back to male attire.
    When you feel the time is right for you Katie you will and sometimes these things just sneak up on you.

Hugs,
    Laurie

Katie I'm trying to decide the same thing as you. I don't know about my job I'm too scared and really wanna start somewhere new so bad when I go full time... I'm almost 5 months on hrt and I have a feeling that it's going to take a while.
I'm going to try part time like others have mentioned. I need to start somewhere. Even though I feel my face and short hair is nowhere near as feminine as I want it...

This struggle is real and so deep. It was like a fload gate opened for me and the there's no way to stop the overflowing dam. I need to learn to ride the wave from here or I'm suffering..

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Quote from: kitchentablepotpourri on February 17, 2018, 10:37:24 AM
It's a personal choice, and one could argue that it takes several years for the effects of HRT to make a difference in our appearance, and during that time our hair would be at a length we are happy with; we could save money for FFS or other bit of work if we need it, have laser and/or electrolysis, perfect our female voice, walk, mannerisms, and acclimate to blending in with other women by gradually going out as our true self, and then getting to the point that we are out everywhere except work, and then making somewhat of a seamless transition from part-time to full-time. Or, we can go full-time asap, and feel happier living authentically, but run a greater risk of being discriminated against, and possibly lose our job (you can still lose your job if you wait, but the difference is that in the first example you are in a more comfortable position), and it could be more difficult to find a new one during the awkward transition stages). I'm sure that immediate full-time transition works for some, but probably not for the vast majority of us; sometimes we're a lot better off delaying gratification, and doing what needs to be done, in order to achieve the best possible result.

I was going to write all this out as my reply.. but you said it better hun

I went full time 1/1/2017. Seemed like a great new year resolution. Everyone at work knew I wanted to. I had been carrying a purse, doing my makeup on occasion and wearing girl jeans and tshirts to work, as a boy. I just looked really emo lol.. But to this day, I haven't been on HRT.
   Do what you're comfortable with. Bottom line. If you think that going full time tomorrow is possible, and that you can handle it, go for it. I started out pretty rough, looking back, but my only regret is not going full time sooner.

It took me about 2-3 months to go full-time after coming out. Didn't start anything until after going full-time. Laser first, HRT second.

Only you will know when and how to proceed. It's like a feeling inside you that will tell you now it's time.

Hugs dear

Quote from: Janes Groove on February 17, 2018, 12:01:26 PM
I was full-time for 6 months before starting hormones and it was pretty brutal

Good grief! Doc's used to insist upon that Once Upon A Time. I suppose to make one's life miserable and possibly dissuade you?

Katie I suppose most go FT during HRT - something about the emotional 'high' that gives one more confidence? Just started adding Progesterone cream from Amazon. Read about the 'T' boost KayXo been talking about and hoping to gain a fuller cup along with extra energy. Plan on checking levels in a month or so . . . and what is 'make-up'? lol Never did consider such artificialities! I mean if still 'pre-out' & 'au natural' what are people @ work gonna do?

Accuse you of *looking* 'feminine'? Hardly see ANY girls wearing dresses anymore . . .

I think both have there advantages and disadvantages to be fair. It really depends on what you want and how you want to go about things. Things like where you are in life, the affects of doing so and just who you are fundamentally should play a role in it.

If you decide to start prior to hrt you Immediately get to be you and start to project who you are all the time. It will more then likely lower the dysphoria by an extreme amount. For me I used this time to really hone in on my Makeup, Style, Body Language, Voice, etc.  since you are working with your version of ground zero things will only get easier in the passing department. 

Then you have this weird thing that I can't really say is a good thing or a bad thing, it really depends on you and what you do with it. We all have bad days or mishaps, its an inevitable part of life and we just have to learn how to handle ourselves. I know I felt like I was constantly being clocked and no matter was actually happening I had to learn how to handle the situation and move on. It really did teach me self confidence in the face of adversity (perceived or actual) and how to love my self for who I am rather than how others see me.

The draw backs for me were the amount of times I spent getting ready, I had a whole routine that would end up taking about two hours before I was comfortable with my appearance.  The other big drawback was going to sleep. I had to take my make-up and everything off, making me feel awful. I spent many nights crying because of it because I knew who I was. I can't say every girl will go through this, but this was just my experience.

HRT isn't an overnight thing, it takes time and a lot of adjustment. but if you wait till a lot of changes take place, it will be easier to pass because not only will your body change but your perception of passing. It will be inevitably less awkward and those of us who have a bit less of a thick skin will find it easier and possibly preferable.

Of course all of this is based on what I experienced, as results will very from girl to girl. I did not have a thick skin when I transitioned but developed it over time. I figured that if I started to present pre HRT then during HRT it would be easier. For me this was the right choice because it has brought my self image out of the gutter to a place that's almost acceptable.

I think the best choice is the one that you feel is right for you, you are who you are with or without hormones and only you can decide when you're ready to share that with the rest of the world.

I was given an ultimatum. If I went full time I would be divorced. I had been on HRT 2.5 years and I just had to fully express and expressed 11/13/2016.

I needed GCS and had to be full time in order to get GCS. Going full time was a risk at my job but it worked out. I had FFS Sept 16, 2016 and GCS Nov 15, 2016. I originally thought why do I need to express in order to get GCS. I thought what would stop someone from having GCS and then reverting back to male attire and hiding. Well, expressing after the initial fear is wonderful. I get to express who I am through clothing. I would never go back. One issue, I want to have an awesome body to be on the beach this summer :)