Susan's Place Transgender Resources

OMG I am shaking right now, I just told my Grandmother that I am trans. She says I'm welcome anytime, so that's good. But I was suppose to go to my family Christmas party on Sun and that's up in the air till my Grandmother talks to the rest of my family. I hope they will still accept me. I'm scared, I want a family and hope I don't lose some of them. I don't have a mother so they are very important to me. She said I should call fri to find out if I can still come to the Christmas party...In some ways I feel like a burden has been lifted  from me and in others I am scared and worried I won't be accepted. I feel like I'm going to throw up right now it took everything I had then some just to make that phone call.

Congrat's Jessica!!!

I hope that all will go well and that you can go see the rest of your family @ the Christmas party. You look great too by the way.

Thank-you, I hope so too

Quote from: Jessica G on December 19, 2007, 05:03:45 PM
OMG I am shaking right now, I just told my Grandmother that I am trans. She says I'm welcome anytime, so that's good. But I was suppose to go to my family Christmas party on Sun and that's up in the air till my Grandmother talks to the rest of my family. I hope they will still accept me. I'm scared, I want a family and hope I don't lose some of them. I don't have a mother so they are very important to me. She said I should call fri to find out if I can still come to the Christmas party...In some ways I feel like a burden has been lifted  from me and in others I am scared and worried I won't be accepted. I feel like I'm going to throw up right now it took everything I had then some just to make that phone call.

You have done something that is brave in telling your grandmother, and something smart because grandmothers are usually wonderful women and excellent diplomats.  They can say things to family that we cannot.

Enjoy the gathering, Jessica!

Wing Walker

The first year people found out, I didn't go to the christmas party.
I wanted people to see me individually or in small group instead of
arriving amongst everybody like a big bang and being
The focus of the evening.

Don't know if its a solution for you. But, that's what I did.
Anyway, if you went there without telling anyone, hey, they
would know... You look really good, which usually helps people
accept you. People always think we'll look like freaks because
of the media, but then they see we are just normal people.

That's so true, I actually told my Grandmother not to worry because I don't look like a freak. I said I'm vary normal and just like everyone else.

Congrats. :)

I remember the wanna throw up feeling. A friend took me out for lunch the day it really hit hard and I could not really eat. By the next day, the stress had lifted a bit.

I hope that it all works out for you. Just remember to carry yourself well and smile. :)

jessica, i am glad you are able to have such understanding grandmother, sorry about your mom, i wish i had the guts to tell my wife's side of the family, but i know some of their pov's from some of the people they have seen on tv, and some of the things they said hurt, i think my dad knows but all he cares about is that my wife, kids and i are happy. my wife's sister knows, and my father-in-law has always suspected it, but has never really said too much. but he has lesbian friends, and told my wife and i that if our daughter turned out to be a lesbian that he would understand. every now and then she shows spurts of being a little boy and i have now had to teach myself to hold back and not tell her to quit acting like a boy cause i of all people shouldn't be telling her to quit acting like a little boy. i know i can't tell my wife's stepgrandpa, he's from arkansas and more man than most men i know, he was blessed to born with three testicles(1 removed) so if i tell him i am quite sure he will shoot me, not to mention her grandma told their granddaughters if any of them became lesbians that she would disown them. i love my wife and kids so much and their family, i wear male clothes when i go to family gatherings cause i don't want to cause more problems. i am not overly feminine looking in the face according to my wife, but 90% of people i come across adress me as ma'am, miss, etc. etc.
i hope u get to go have a merry christmas with your family.

mickie

All 4 of my grandparents are long dead. I'm a grandmother now myself. I'm 48, I became a grandmother at 45. I appreciate the shout out from Wing Walker; yes, we grannies are cool.

I called my Mom about coming to visit with the family this Christmas. All my sisters, BILs, nieces & nephews will be there. I have come out to my parents and all my sisters.

Mom said No. I feel very hurt. She said it would be too much for them to deal with me being what I am. Their need to not be made uncomfortable by the existence of the ->-bleeped-<- freak in the family overrules my need to have a family. I was not lucky enough to have a birth family who accords me the least acceptance or support. WTF is wrong with them?  :icon_cry:

I'm sending them the poem "The Black Sheep" (http://www.eroplay.com/blacksheep.html) by Karen Finley.

 Hi Jessica G
You are a beautiful looking kid hon and I have no doubt in your passibility as a girl. Well I am a 62 year old grandmother myself but there is nobody in the immediate family left that's still alive except my sister and one niece, and my two daughters whom are busy living their own lives. My sister and niece still keeps in touch with me by mail, still using my old name, refusing to recognise me as who I am now. Well that's OK by me, it hasn't bothered me for some years now. I have enough of my own new life to look forward to, at least that makes me feel much younger then I am. Have yourself a wonderful day and I do pray all will go well for you.

Cindy 

be strong Jessica. you are doing the right thing.

Quote from: Hypatia on December 21, 2007, 04:04:48 PM
Mom said No. I feel very hurt. She said it would be too much for them to deal with me being what I am. Their need to not be made uncomfortable by the existence of the ->-bleeped-<- freak in the family overrules my need to have a family. I was not lucky enough to have a birth family who accords me the least acceptance or support. WTF is wrong with them?  :icon_cry:

I'm sending them the poem "The Black Sheep" (http://www.eroplay.com/blacksheep.html) by Karen Finley.

Sorry that your family is rejecting you, that really hurts.

Thanks for posting the poem by Karen Finley, it's great!

y2g

Jessica,

Surely they will accept you when they see what a beautiful girl you are.  Love and prayers are with you, brave young babe!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Update............I talked to my grandmother and she said other family members where not surprised. They had kinda new something was going on. She asked me not to show up in a dress because the kids are going to be there and that was it. "I haven't worn a dress in a year anyway" so it all went well and I am going to my family Christmas Party and I was not disowned. I feel like I have nothing to worry about, my whole family knows now. Maybe they will help finance my GRS "I can Dream" I'll do another post after the party and let everyone know how things went in person. Thanks for all your support :)

Posted on: December 22, 2007, 05:07:21 PM

---

So...I went to the Christmas party and got back 15min ago. Everything went great no one asked anything about what was going on and I was treated like I always have been. Now that the ice is broken everyone can let things sink into there heads and adjust to me as I am. But considering none of my family have ever seen me as I truly am I'm so happy no one had any issues. Except my cousins husband he seem to avoid me for most of the night he disappeared as I was leaving so I couldn't even say good bye. But I know men are like that, It's not me they are running away from but there emotions and feelings towards me. Or at least that's what I think.....I know some others are going through the Christmas coming out, I hope it goes just as well...Hugs+Kisses :)

Hi Jessica G
Happy to hear everything went well. Yes it is a very nice thing to have a supportive family. I certainly had no one to go to, I did all of my transition by myself without any support until I came out full time, then surprisingly I made friends with some of the girls at work which was certainly an  improvement then before. Well anyway have a wonderful holiday.

Cindy 

Great Jessica, very happy for you.

I sat there this morning opening presents with my family and almost made myself sick thinking "I will never get to do this again with them when I come out".

I hope I will have the same luck as you someday.

Merry Christmas.

I had to tell them I refuse to go in boys clothes and I don't have any even if I wanted too. I also couldn't take getting boy stuff as a present knowing I can't use it, I would be filled with guilt. It's so nice to get something to begin with, but knowing you will throw out a thoughtful gift bothered me to the point that I had to tell them I am different now. All we can do is do our part and inform our family and friends, the rest is up to them. At least if we tell them we can rest easy knowing we did our part.

Hi Jessica
Well I'm happy for you for having made as much headway as you have in just the past few days. I will continue to send prayer for you that all goes well.

Cindy

Hello Jessica,

Quote from: Jessica G on December 25, 2007, 03:54:53 PMI had to tell them I refuse to go in boys clothes and I don't have any even if I wanted too. I also couldn't take getting boy stuff as a present knowing I can't use it, I would be filled with guilt. It's so nice to get something to begin with, but knowing you will throw out a thoughtful gift bothered me to the point that I had to tell them I am different now. All we can do is do our part and inform our family and friends, the rest is up to them. At least if we tell them we can rest easy knowing we did our part.

I'm glad things went so well for you. When I came out to the family it was grandma that everyone seemed the most worried about...ill health and all. It turned out that grandma took the news well and wasn't surprised by the news in the least. My problem was then my aunt and uncle she's been living with...they didn't take the news well and under no circumstances would I ever be welcome in their house again...hum...not having seen them in 18 years I guess I can live with that...

Family is always the trickiest part of coming-out; I'm glad things went so well for you.

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre

Quote from: Jessica G on December 25, 2007, 03:54:53 PM
I had to tell them I refuse to go in boys clothes and I don't have any even if I wanted too. I also couldn't take getting boy stuff as a present knowing I can't use it, I would be filled with guilt. It's so nice to get something to begin with, but knowing you will throw out a thoughtful gift bothered me to the point that I had to tell them I am different now. All we can do is do our part and inform our family and friends, the rest is up to them. At least if we tell them we can rest easy knowing we did our part.

I got cologne from my mom for x-mas. i told her it was not my thing and she just gave it to her BF instead. I just came out to my mom two days ago. so when i said that, i think she understood why. more on my coming out to mom in another post that i need to write.

-Natalie

My extended family reckon I am a freak anyway....
good on most of your families though -
    - seems like a funny time to come out to people
                           - but i suppose things happen as they happen.

from one black sheep to some others.

Oh yeah, and my dad said a lovely thing to me the other day. he said,
'I accept you may never do anything with your life'... I'm not being sarcastic. At last the man has accepted.

Ohh,
I'm so glad everything went well.
I'm glad your family accepts you.
That's a big relief isn't it?
I came out to my dad in person over the holidays.
I had already told him but still, seeing is beliving.
We had a great long talk and I am glad.
Having family not reject you is so important.
I'm so glad it went well for you.
(((Hugs)))
Sara

I've got a very achieving, but conservative family as well.

I came out when I was 13.  I had everyone in there give me stern lectures except my grandparents, who attributed it to a phase.  I'm pretty sure everyone thinks the phase is now over, what with the weightlifting and all.

But it's not.  And sooner or later they'll have to deal with it.  I keep wondering whether or not I should change my last name in this legal name change or not.  I have such big doubts about my family accepting me.  But, I'm so proud of my family and the things they've done.  From national powerlifters to head coaches to top federal architects, first female brain surgeon in the US... it's really a bloodline I'm proud to come from.
Just they won't ever except my lifestyle, my beliefs, or my religion.
Things like my cousin getting a girl pregnant and refusing to marry her put us in a ginormous scandal for years.  Just imagine when I drive over for x-mas vacation in a skirt>.>

No but seriously, I love them.  Even though I barely know them, I haven't seen them in years, I love the.  Perhaps it's that I've got so many early childhood memories with them in there, or just that it's biological love.  Either way, I can accept their opinions, good or bad.

And that's really what matters, that YOU be okay with yourself.  It's a bullet proof vest for the world we live in, it really is.