Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Any practical advice?  I am pre-HRT but go out on occasion (therapist, support groups, occasional trip to thrift store) and am really self-conscious about them seeing me.  Having strangers and safe groups see me is much less stressful, but people I actually know I get lots of stress about.

       Thanks,
                -Julie

This might not be the advice you're looking for but since these people aren't important in your life and unless you want to become friends with them, who cares what they think?? If they have a problem with how you dress then they can take their ass back into the house.  Just my thoughts about it.

While I am not super best friends with these people, I am friendly with them and on a talking basis with them.  Furthermore, many of them have young children whom I sometimes interact with and I am sure they will have questions, "mommy, why is he dressed like a girl?" I would like to not broadside anyone with this as I think it would just be better all around.  There are of course some neighbors that I could give a rats ass about...but we aren't talking about them ;)

      -Julie

Quote from: JulieAllana on February 20, 2018, 01:00:01 PM
While I am not super best friends with these people, I am friendly with them and on a talking basis with them.  Furthermore, many of them have young children whom I sometimes interact with and I am sure they will have questions, "mommy, why is he dressed like a girl?" I would like to not broadside anyone with this as I think it would just be better all around.  There are of course some neighbors that I could give a rats ass about...but we aren't talking about them ;)

      -Julie

Just think of the service you're providing by creating opportunities for discussion between parents and their children.


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I wanted my next-door neighbour as an ally and resource person (she has contacts in the LGBT world), so I just came out and told her straight up.  I just emailed her and said, "I know you work with LGBT youth.  Well, I'm not a youth, and I'm not G or B.  I am pretty sure I am T and therefore L."

For the rest of my neighbours, the ones I interact with the most go to a weekly kaffeeklatsch.  So one week, I stood up at the coffee session and told them.  I emphasized the gender dysphoria aspect, and that it was a medical diagnosis.  Oh, and by the way, people with that diagnosis are called transgender.  And that henceforth I would like to be called Kathy, and referred to with feminine pronouns.  It was pretty painless, actually.

Thing is with neighbours is that they will change over time so the mindset I adopted was not to think of it as coming out to them, as you'll be forever coming out, but to just be myself around them and let them make up their own minds.
I did it slowly over time to let everyone get used to the changes in me. I suppose it all depends on your personality how you approach it but I've always subscribed to the hare and tortoise way of doing things.

Of course there are some bad neighbours out there, but that bodes true for everyone, not just tans. folk.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

I am surrounded by a lot of LGBT in my community so it's mostly fine.  I also have LGBT allies here too.  However, I do find that thise that are firmly in the L and G camps are sometimes less tolerant of trans people.  I find having to walk on eggshells with them.

Other than this, I have started regular cocktail nights, and have startedcoming out to one or two neighbors each time. It's working for me.  Maybe do this approach?  I may wear makeup next time to make it more obvious:)

Bari Jo

I have about three or four queer neighbors.  Got a couple lesbians two houses down from us, got a gay couple in the house directly behind us, got another lesbian living one house up from us and then have a lesbian church pastor that lives in our neighborhood as well.  So luckily I am surrounded by open minded people.  So I go out in our front yard or sit on the front porch in a skirt or some very girly leggings quite often.  Also, so of our neighbors are facebook friends and therefore see mine and my wifes posts about my being trans, and they have read my blog where I talk about it.  Ha ha.   But yes, trying to find the confidence to go outside as yourself and worrying so much about what the neighbors are going to think, really sucks and is hard to get over. 

Quote from: Bari Jo on February 22, 2018, 10:40:32 AM
I am surrounded by a lot of LGBT in my community so it's mostly fine.  I also have LGBT allies here too.  However, I do find that thise that are firmly in the L and G camps are sometimes less tolerant of trans people.  I find having to walk on eggshells with them.

Other than this, I have started regular cocktail nights, and have startedcoming out to one or two neighbors each time. It's working for me.  Maybe do this approach?  I may wear makeup next time to make it more obvious:)

Bari Jo

I've run into that. I was told that t isn't sexual so it doesn't belong.


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