Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi....  Does anyone have experience or perspective on telling key people at work that you are transgender or are dealing with gender Dysphoria, long ahead of full transition?   

I understand it's common to wait until you are ready to fully transition.  However I am wonder if there is a way it can or could be done earlier, telling them you are dealing with gender Dysphoria or are transgender?

I work for a diversity supportive organization, and I feel like l am living a lie. 

I have no experience with this, since I was retired before I transitioned.  While it might not work in some companies, given the nature of your organization I can see that being out before transition could work there.  And if keeping it concealed is putting a strain on you, I would say go for it.

I created an infographic of my transition journey and spent an hour presenting my story to my employers global LGBT network (about 200 ppl on the call). I got a huge amount of thanks after. And also was contacted by another trans* person who later transitioned too [emoji5]

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Karen,

Never pressure yourself to share these personal things about yourself until you're ready and feel comfortable with the idea. Very few people do, it's a very personal thing. I've always been a very open person about all aspects of my life.

Megan. X

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I was open with management from day one of hrt, and gradually told others I work with as it became necessary. Being a Teacher I felt that surprise was NOT something to add to the mix. Its all gone very well so far. I went full time a month after telling them.

Usually HR is a good start along with your direct supervisor. HR can help with the supervisor.Maybe find one or two trusted coworkers.

I most likely did it all wrong. I added a preferred name and gender in our HR system. A few weeks later when I requested vacation I had to tell my manager. Another few weeks later I just sent my coming out email to about 30% of the company, including my HR Person. Then she sent me an email and scheduled a call. That was it.

Well, I CHEATED           Moments before I became full-time a year and a half ago I quit my old job (in male-mode) and relocated over 1000 miles away to a very small town and started my own small business as a female.   I regularly go to the local gym with 5 cis-females and have passed the dreaded locker room scenario with no comments and not problems.

No one that I know of in this small town knows of my male past but soon that may be my big problem, I have attracted 3 male suitors and with male suitor #1 there seems to be sparks starting to fly so it is only right that I tell him very soon, then it will only take days or even hours for that to get all around town, at that point I will tell everyone I see so they can hear the news directly from me and not the local gossip at the coffee shop.

Way back early on when my long fingernails were mentioned I said "Turns out I'm a bit of a crossdresser."  :)

They've watched me bloom into a full fledged unicornish boy-girl thingy and been on board through the name and gender marker changes. We even survived the owner's 12 year old son asking why the lady in the break room has such a deep voice.  ;D  He told me that it was actually a good thing, he got to have a talk with his son about all people being different, and  how that's OK.

Hugs, Devlyn

I haven't come out and I'm not sure I will. When I (or, if I'm so lucky to) go full time, I'll do what Danielle did and relocate/find a new job.

But before going on my 3 month break from my job, my clients called me she then would say he. I had one client talk about andro angels and give me skin and hair care advice, and another told me if she went a week without shaving she'd have more facial hair than me. Lol I didn't tell anyone I was transitioning and at that point I was only around 3 months on hrt. It's scary

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There are no rules. HRC has some guidelines for coming out at work that might be helpful.


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I'll tell you how my work is going.  I'm not fully out, but am out to my boss and HR.  The way I did it was as soon as I started wearing earrings I started to think about it a lot, started seeing people treat me differently.  This got me to schedule a checking an HR visit.  There I told her what was going on.  HR did great, nothing but positive respect and being their for me.  A couple weeks later I did the same with my boss and asked HR to come in after 5-10 minutes just in case things went poorly.  My boss knew I was going through something and was fine with it all.  Since these meetings both my boss and HR use my preferred name in communications to me.  When I'm out to everyone else my preferred name will be run through the system.  Once I get a legal name change then accounting will get the memo so my taxes are done correctly.  My boss and HR have helped me plan a timeline for coming out to everyone, plus what if scenarios like what if people ask privately, or should we notify upper mgmt and project leads early.  I'm saying yes, but I'm relying on them to make sure this remains positive and to keep company policy in line.  Honestly it's been easier than I thought.  At least at this 150,000 plus person company, they know how to handle a tiny issue like me:)

Bari Jo

I told my boss and my 4 teammates already, the good thing is that I am part of the HR department so I didn't need to tell anyone else yet. I also drafted a coming out email to send to everyone else in the company and if everything works the way I planned it, I'll send it in June right before going on a month long vacation. My plan is to come back from vacation in full female mode.