Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: 4A-GZE on April 10, 2018, 07:01:46 PM Return to Full Version
Title: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: 4A-GZE on April 10, 2018, 07:01:46 PM
Post by: 4A-GZE on April 10, 2018, 07:01:46 PM
This happened a few years ago. I haven't started HRT yet, but on a lot of online forums, I just present myself as having always been female. I'm sure that's fairly common here.
But anyway, I was 17 at the time. (Jesus, it's been six years already) I bought a metal detector and joined a forum about them. Virtually everyone there was an ultra-conservative, older (60+), married man. I was easily the youngest regular member, and one of maybe 3 women.
But this is where it got creepy... I shared pictures of my equipment in a thread asking us to do so. Just my cheap detector and a dollar-store garden shovel. Within hours, I had multiple guys offering to help me upgrade. These are married men, eager to spend money on a 17-year-old girl. Needless to say, I took full advantage of the situation and gave them "my boyfriend's address." (which was really mine with my birth name)
I got some brand new accessories, two separate $20 bills to put toward a new detector, at least 20 coins, ranging from just modern foreign stuff to an 1800s dime, and... three different phone numbers. I also had a few of the guys PM me and offer to take me metal detecting with them. (I'd give it 50/50 odds that I'd make it back home)
I dunno... it was really just an eye-opening experience. That was my first experience of the benefits and risks of being the only woman in a room full of men.
But anyway, I was 17 at the time. (Jesus, it's been six years already) I bought a metal detector and joined a forum about them. Virtually everyone there was an ultra-conservative, older (60+), married man. I was easily the youngest regular member, and one of maybe 3 women.
But this is where it got creepy... I shared pictures of my equipment in a thread asking us to do so. Just my cheap detector and a dollar-store garden shovel. Within hours, I had multiple guys offering to help me upgrade. These are married men, eager to spend money on a 17-year-old girl. Needless to say, I took full advantage of the situation and gave them "my boyfriend's address." (which was really mine with my birth name)
I got some brand new accessories, two separate $20 bills to put toward a new detector, at least 20 coins, ranging from just modern foreign stuff to an 1800s dime, and... three different phone numbers. I also had a few of the guys PM me and offer to take me metal detecting with them. (I'd give it 50/50 odds that I'd make it back home)
I dunno... it was really just an eye-opening experience. That was my first experience of the benefits and risks of being the only woman in a room full of men.
Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: Allison S on April 10, 2018, 08:43:34 PM
Post by: Allison S on April 10, 2018, 08:43:34 PM
Oh I've noticed older men stare a lot more the further I'm on hrt as a mtf... it is creepy, especially one who was standing in the lobby at my workplace and asking me where I'm going. And I mean these are men in their 50s and 60s... I think you did what a lot of girls do or wish they did at some point. I think it was very gutsy that you shared your address. I don't think I would be able to do that. Also I wish I had the realization to start experimenting online as a female at 17. That's how I knew actually but years later at 24..
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Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: Doreen on April 10, 2018, 09:50:12 PM
Post by: Doreen on April 10, 2018, 09:50:12 PM
I have guys staring at me unabashedly in church of all places. Get used to it.. or give them 'the look' if you want to inform them their behavior is inappropriate. Can't do much though if they're looking at your butt or something when your back is turned.
Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: Lady Sarah on April 10, 2018, 09:51:40 PM
Post by: Lady Sarah on April 10, 2018, 09:51:40 PM
Some of those ultraconservative men do not treat older women as well as they do the younger ones. I left one forum because of it. The hostility got worse after I got married.
The vaping forum I am part of is more of a mixed bag of people. I get a fair amount of hostility from the ultraconservatives, but most of the members are moderates, just like me. Nobody sends me anything, unless I win it in contests, of which I won two so far. My saving grace is that I don't have to provide a man's name to send it to.
The vaping forum I am part of is more of a mixed bag of people. I get a fair amount of hostility from the ultraconservatives, but most of the members are moderates, just like me. Nobody sends me anything, unless I win it in contests, of which I won two so far. My saving grace is that I don't have to provide a man's name to send it to.
Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: Allison S on April 10, 2018, 10:44:37 PM
Post by: Allison S on April 10, 2018, 10:44:37 PM
Quote from: Doreen on April 10, 2018, 09:50:12 PM
I have guys staring at me unabashedly in church of all places. Get used to it..
That's very uplifting... lol
Anyway it's not about the staring but yeah there's leverage in being female. As in men will be more willing to bend over backwards and even spend money to gain our interest. Sometimes, not always.
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Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: Donna on April 10, 2018, 11:19:27 PM
Post by: Donna on April 10, 2018, 11:19:27 PM
Odd enough situation for me Monday morning. Went to the lab and going in I held the door open for a younger woman. She went to the third floor I went to the fourth. Coming back down she got back on the elevator and immediately started a conversation. By the time we were walking out the back door she was hitting on me. I've never had someone try to pick me up.
Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: TicTac on April 21, 2018, 04:37:22 PM
Post by: TicTac on April 21, 2018, 04:37:22 PM
Maybe they just thought it was cool that someone your age was interested in the metal detecting? But then again the phone numbers are a bit odd. I try to see the good in people, and....yeah okay they are creepy old men lol.
Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: Alanna1990 on April 21, 2018, 05:52:46 PM
Post by: Alanna1990 on April 21, 2018, 05:52:46 PM
Originally I was going to tell you to take advantage of the situation, but I have a different view since a total stranger basically got me against a wall asking my phone number while talking quite a lot of nonsense, I got so scared that time, be careful with those kind of guys, they really can get annoying.
Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: sarah1972 on April 21, 2018, 09:57:18 PM
Post by: sarah1972 on April 21, 2018, 09:57:18 PM
Yes, that unfortunately happens. Ever since I started transitioning I have been hit on more often than in 44 years prior. Wide range, from mid-20's kids in a computer store (asking what I do with the rest of my afternoon) to random people in a cafeteria to raunchy stares on a train to much worse (documented somewhere else here).
To some degree it made me reflect on my own behavior but I have somewhat learned to ignore it.
On the other hand - there are also many cute things. Being offered a chair, doors being held open and the mid 70's guy in our local bar store carrying a 15 lbs C02 bottle for me (which totals 26 lbs between the bottle and the CO2). I felt so bad for him, he could barely do it, but insisted.
To some degree it made me reflect on my own behavior but I have somewhat learned to ignore it.
On the other hand - there are also many cute things. Being offered a chair, doors being held open and the mid 70's guy in our local bar store carrying a 15 lbs C02 bottle for me (which totals 26 lbs between the bottle and the CO2). I felt so bad for him, he could barely do it, but insisted.
Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: MaryT on April 22, 2018, 05:13:32 AM
Post by: MaryT on April 22, 2018, 05:13:32 AM
Sometimes, while doing the housework, I've thought that it would be nice to advertise as a dominatrix and have guys pay me to let them do the housework.
Title: Re: A weird (creepy) experience I want to share
Post by: josie76 on April 22, 2018, 05:42:18 AM
Post by: josie76 on April 22, 2018, 05:42:18 AM
It is a strange experience for sure. When I started transition but dressed as male for work, I started having guys hold the door open for me at convienence stores. These days though, if for instance we make a stop and I wait in the car while my wife goes in a store, I have noticed older guys, like 20 years older than me, looking way too long at me while I'm playing on my phone just waiting. It gets creepy quickly.