Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Kristy1978 on April 16, 2018, 12:29:17 AM Return to Full Version

Title: Need advice , help figuring out who I am
Post by: Kristy1978 on April 16, 2018, 12:29:17 AM
Hi all,

Thanks for allowing me to join the forum.

So here's my story. I am 39 and married with kids. I have been confused about who I am for many years now. I don't really know where to start. 

Ever since I can remember I've done female things like all sorts of house cleaning and cooking since I've been 9 years old. And that has never changed.  Now to some that may not seem like a big deal to most. But to me it is.

For 20 years now I find myself at stores walking through the woman's department and envisioning how I might look in certain attire . I get jealous of my wife when she's getting dreesed, putting on make up, buying new panties and bras. I have tried on and wear her clothes that fit me .

I have fantasies about being a woman, having a feminine body . Being able to dress regularly as woman.

I also have no interest in having sex with my wife. I can no longer get an erection when she wants to have sex.

Am I crazy to think I might be trans?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thank you

Title: Re: Need advice , help figuring out who I am
Post by: Northern Star Girl on April 16, 2018, 12:48:52 AM
Hello Kristy,  Thank you for introducing yourself.  I see that you are new here and have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 

WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transitions and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey. 
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Things that you should read


Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)
Title: Re: Need advice , help figuring out who I am
Post by: Northern Star Girl on April 16, 2018, 12:53:22 AM
@ Kristy:   
Oh, and another thing, be certain  to stop by the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) to tell the members here about yourself. 
You will be noticed as a new member and you will receive more interaction from other members here as they will then be aware of your arrival on Susan's Place.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place
Danielle
Title: Re: Need advice , help figuring out who I am
Post by: Dena on April 16, 2018, 02:07:34 AM
Welcome to Susan's Place. As always  an appointment with a gender therapist would be a good place for you to start. They have special training including this area and should be able to help you decide. Until your able to get an appointment, I have a couple of links that you might find useful. The first is our WIKI  (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) where you will be able to learn what being transgender is. The second link is the  "the transition channel"  (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) where much like therapy, you will be able to compare your feelings to a number of questions. Should you have additional questions, feel free to ask and somebody will be glad to answer them.
Title: Re: Need advice , help figuring out who I am
Post by: KathyLauren on April 16, 2018, 06:31:14 AM
Hi, Kristy, and welcome.

No, you are definitely not crazy.  I would say there is a significant probability that you might be trans.  Significant enough that I second Dena's suggestion that you should see a gender therapist.  What you describe is fairly typical trans behaviour.
Title: Re: Need advice , help figuring out who I am
Post by: Stephanie Vaughan on April 17, 2018, 04:38:08 AM
Quote from: Kristy1978 on April 16, 2018, 12:29:17 AM
Hi all,

Thanks for allowing me to join the forum.

So here's my story. I am 39 and married with kids. I have been confused about who I am for many years now. I don't really know where to start. 

Ever since I can remember I've done female things like all sorts of house cleaning and cooking since I've been 9 years old. And that has never changed.  Now to some that may not seem like a big deal to most. But to me it is.

For 20 years now I find myself at stores walking through the woman's department and envisioning how I might look in certain attire . I get jealous of my wife when she's getting dreesed, putting on make up, buying new panties and bras. I have tried on and wear her clothes that fit me .

I have fantasies about being a woman, having a feminine body . Being able to dress regularly as woman.

I also have no interest in having sex with my wife. I can no longer get an erection when she wants to have sex.

Am I crazy to think I might be trans?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thank you
Hi Kristy
Wow that sounds so familiar! All apart from the kids thing, I never felt the urge to breed. The doing "female" things is pretty sexist but I know what you mean and was just the same. I am one year post transition, I'm older than you and regret not doing it sooner so if you have any thoughts that you are trans go to your doctor and get them to refer you to a psychiatrist/gender specialist. I have found an inner peace and happiness I never knew existed, every time I walk down the street now I have a huge smile on my face and a bigger one inside. If you ever want to talk I am happy to, I have learned so much in the last 18 months and made huge mistakes so don't be shy!
Good luck and take care
Stephanie xx


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