General Discussions => General discussions => Topic started by: gwencook on April 25, 2018, 03:05:45 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Am I actually alone?
Post by: gwencook on April 25, 2018, 03:05:45 PM
Post by: gwencook on April 25, 2018, 03:05:45 PM
Hey all,
So this topic isn't trans related but is something I could get advice on. So essentially I have two really close friends who date each other and helped me get from an abusive house. I even lived with one of them. But lately it feels like they don't actually want me around. Let me explain.
So all the time I was living with my friend the only time they wanted to do anything was when I was teaching them to drive or wanted a lift somewhere. The two of them would always meet together and even get me to give them a lift somewhere but not once in 4 months did they ever ask me to join.
When they were going through difficulties in their relationship I would be there for them day or night but when they got back together and engaged I was the last one to find out. 2 weeks after everyone else!!
They never message first even if it's been weeks I'm always first to message. And I know this part will sound really silly but on Facebook they never tag me in something that they clearly know I'd join in on but will tag other people. For example i go ecstatic with anything to do with animals (especially dogs) yet each time a cute video appears other people are always tagged and yet I'm always missed.
I mean i might just be seeing things differently after being treated like crap for ages but am I actually right in thinking my friends are ignoring me or am I just being selfish?
Mich love xox
So this topic isn't trans related but is something I could get advice on. So essentially I have two really close friends who date each other and helped me get from an abusive house. I even lived with one of them. But lately it feels like they don't actually want me around. Let me explain.
So all the time I was living with my friend the only time they wanted to do anything was when I was teaching them to drive or wanted a lift somewhere. The two of them would always meet together and even get me to give them a lift somewhere but not once in 4 months did they ever ask me to join.
When they were going through difficulties in their relationship I would be there for them day or night but when they got back together and engaged I was the last one to find out. 2 weeks after everyone else!!
They never message first even if it's been weeks I'm always first to message. And I know this part will sound really silly but on Facebook they never tag me in something that they clearly know I'd join in on but will tag other people. For example i go ecstatic with anything to do with animals (especially dogs) yet each time a cute video appears other people are always tagged and yet I'm always missed.
I mean i might just be seeing things differently after being treated like crap for ages but am I actually right in thinking my friends are ignoring me or am I just being selfish?
Mich love xox
Title: Re: Am I actually alone?
Post by: HappyMoni on April 25, 2018, 05:03:48 PM
Post by: HappyMoni on April 25, 2018, 05:03:48 PM
Hi Gwen,
I have been hurt by supposed 'friends' before. All you can do is be the best you that you can be. If you are getting the sense you are being used, maybe it is time to start looking for some new, more mature friends who will appreciate you. I used to hear that having three kids was a mistake. It was always some combination of two against one. If your two friends are that close, it may be hard for you to find your place in this situation.
Moni
I have been hurt by supposed 'friends' before. All you can do is be the best you that you can be. If you are getting the sense you are being used, maybe it is time to start looking for some new, more mature friends who will appreciate you. I used to hear that having three kids was a mistake. It was always some combination of two against one. If your two friends are that close, it may be hard for you to find your place in this situation.
Moni
Title: Re: Am I actually alone?
Post by: Sephirah on April 25, 2018, 05:59:05 PM
Post by: Sephirah on April 25, 2018, 05:59:05 PM
Have you said anything about how you're feeling, to either of them?
Unfortunately, sometimes people can be very selfish, or wrapped up in someone else. But not maliciously. They may have no idea the effect their actions are having on you. Before jumping the gun and doing something you might regret, I would suggest just talking to them about how you're feeling.
It's hard when you've been treated badly by people in the past. To not see that happening again. And I'm not saying it isn't. But I do know people can get tunnel vision sometimes and forget the rest of the world even exists. Which isn't your fault, or anything you've done. And may not even be something they're aware of.
The best thing you can do, Gwen, is communicate. Talk about how you're feeling.
I wish you the best. *big hug*
Unfortunately, sometimes people can be very selfish, or wrapped up in someone else. But not maliciously. They may have no idea the effect their actions are having on you. Before jumping the gun and doing something you might regret, I would suggest just talking to them about how you're feeling.
It's hard when you've been treated badly by people in the past. To not see that happening again. And I'm not saying it isn't. But I do know people can get tunnel vision sometimes and forget the rest of the world even exists. Which isn't your fault, or anything you've done. And may not even be something they're aware of.
The best thing you can do, Gwen, is communicate. Talk about how you're feeling.
I wish you the best. *big hug*