Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: JulieVernes on May 22, 2018, 12:42:55 PM Return to Full Version

Title: 20,000 leagues under a mountain of denial.
Post by: JulieVernes on May 22, 2018, 12:42:55 PM
Hi,
I'm not sure what to say, or what to do. Do I start with a long rant? Or keep it brief? Guess I'll start with the basics.

So G'day. I'm Julie. Thirties. Wanting to tell ya'll about my life... but terribly afraid of exposure. Which is ridiculous because I can only assume that my mates aren't lurking around transgender support websites waiting to let my guard down so they can expose me to the world.

But in a way I guess that's why I'm here.  I've spent my entire life afraid that people close to me might start to figure me out. That something is different about me. And well, you may have noticed that I'm fairly introspective - and to my knowledge I'm a pretty alright person; therefore what am I hiding from everyone?

I might be trans. I might not be. Though with the years of searching for answers up my sleeve I am starting to suspect that I may be. And that last sentence was difficult to write. I hope to use this space to explore, to question and journey. Any help will be great, and if I find myself in a position to, I will endeavour to reciprocate.

Thanks for this space.
Title: Re: 20,000 leagues under a mountain of denial.
Post by: V M on May 22, 2018, 12:46:40 PM
Hi Julie  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along


Things that you should read


Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)

Hugs

V M
Title: Re: 20,000 leagues under a mountain of denial.
Post by: Paige on May 22, 2018, 01:30:40 PM
Quote from: JulieVernes on May 22, 2018, 12:42:55 PM
Hi,
I'm not sure what to say, or what to do. Do I start with a long rant? Or keep it brief? Guess I'll start with the basics.

So G'day. I'm Julie. Thirties. Wanting to tell ya'll about my life... but terribly afraid of exposure. Which is ridiculous because I can only assume that my mates aren't lurking around transgender support websites waiting to let my guard down so they can expose me to the world.

But in a way I guess that's why I'm here.  I've spent my entire life afraid that people close to me might start to figure me out. That something is different about me. And well, you may have noticed that I'm fairly introspective - and to my knowledge I'm a pretty alright person; therefore what am I hiding from everyone?

I might be trans. I might not be. Though with the years of searching for answers up my sleeve I am starting to suspect that I may be. And that last sentence was difficult to write. I hope to use this space to explore, to question and journey. Any help will be great, and if I find myself in a position to, I will endeavour to reciprocate.

Thanks for this space.

Hi Julie,

Like your name :)  Perhaps your next book should be "Journey to the Center of your Heart" :)

The thing I would point out is that cispeople in my experience do not dwell on their gender.   They usually are quite repulsed by the idea of taking hormones, or having surgeries specific for gender issues or considering themselves at a different place on the gender spectrum than they present.   I would also say cispeople don't usually read or post at Susans unless it's because of a family member or friend.

I'm guessing from the fact you say you're hiding from everyone, you've probably have some gender dysphoria and you don't want others to know about it.

Not everyone here transitions, some find ways to cope.  It's all up to the individual.  I would suggest you find a therapist with gender experience to help you out.    There's lots of people hear to discuss issues with but most will agree it's best to also have a professional that you can meet in person and discuss your issues.

Good luck Julie, I hope you find your answers.
Paige :)







Title: Re: 20,000 leagues under a mountain of denial.
Post by: PollyQMcLovely on May 22, 2018, 01:47:14 PM
Hi Julie, welcome!
Title: Re: 20,000 leagues under a mountain of denial.
Post by: JulieVernes on May 22, 2018, 10:11:28 PM
Thanks for the kind welcomes!
Title: Re: 20,000 leagues under a mountain of denial.
Post by: Janes Groove on May 22, 2018, 11:55:51 PM
Welcome to the site Julie.  Don't worry about your mates.  If they can't deal with the real you then can they really be called friends?
Title: Re: 20,000 leagues under a mountain of denial.
Post by: Danielle Kristina on May 24, 2018, 05:54:54 PM
Hi Julie, and welcome!  I finally came out to myself as transgender after decades of denial, and even still sometimes there is a shred of doubt despite my knowing the truth.  Cis-gendered people don't wonder if they're transgender, so when I ask myself over and over again if I'm trans, that's me asking a question I already know the answer to but don't want to admit it.