Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: TranSketch on May 26, 2018, 08:45:55 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Best way to deal with a unsupportive person (Mum's partner)
Post by: TranSketch on May 26, 2018, 08:45:55 PM
Post by: TranSketch on May 26, 2018, 08:45:55 PM
As I have actively started at least presenting as female in my social group at weekends (won't risk doing it solo yet) naturally I have been wearing make up and female clothes for this sort of thing, I kind of need to do this for my Therapist to so I can prove this is what I want, in any case my mum is more than supportive however her partner not so much. He thinks I'm stupid for this as well as today alone calling it disgusting when he saw me dressed up, I told him to F - off and if he ain't got anything nice to say I won't deal with him and mum also had a go at him but the problem is no matter how many times my situation is explained to him he acts like a douche about it, I get he's old fashioned and can't accept gay/ tran etc but sooner or later if I ever go full time I know he won't even call me by my chosen name.
I've never quite been on good terms with him but the probem is when you're stuck living at home under the same roof as such a person and the fact we've never been that close even before transtioning I feel attempting to make him understand is a lost cause, more likely to get my bedroom door to perform tricks than him changing his outdated and biased view, is there any way to fix this or is it literally a lost cause trying to reason with such a person, any experience others have dealing with such a person wold be appreciated if not I'll just remain keeping my distance from him like I normally do either way.
I've never quite been on good terms with him but the probem is when you're stuck living at home under the same roof as such a person and the fact we've never been that close even before transtioning I feel attempting to make him understand is a lost cause, more likely to get my bedroom door to perform tricks than him changing his outdated and biased view, is there any way to fix this or is it literally a lost cause trying to reason with such a person, any experience others have dealing with such a person wold be appreciated if not I'll just remain keeping my distance from him like I normally do either way.
Title: Re: Best way to deal with a unsupportive person (Mum's partner)
Post by: Dena on May 26, 2018, 10:24:29 PM
Post by: Dena on May 26, 2018, 10:24:29 PM
It probable isn't fixable. The one person who can fix it is your mother. She has the option of saying behave, go or no whatever benefit of being together. It takes a strong supportive person to make this type of commitment and I don't know if your mother would be able to see it through. It does happen because when I was a kid, a neighbor woman separated from her husband for the sake of the kids because he was an alcoholic. She chose to remain unmarried for the same reason as she didn't think she could find a partner that would properly care for her kids.