Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: DannyM on June 06, 2018, 08:51:48 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Misgendered later
Post by: DannyM on June 06, 2018, 08:51:48 AM
Post by: DannyM on June 06, 2018, 08:51:48 AM
In the book, The Reincarnated Prince (https://www.amazon.com/Reincarnated-Prince-Thirty-Years-Winter-ebook/dp/B07D6YW3T2/), there's a moment where Inius starts misgendering Jeb.
Has anybody ran into that in real life, when strangers respect your gender identity more than those who grow close to you?
Quote
"You could make a great queen."
"Oh? So its queen now? What happened to 'him'?"
Inius shrugged despite the weight of his pack. "The
bottom of your contract said to use male pronouns. I didn't know
you well enough to care one way or the other, so I followed the
contract. Now I care."
Has anybody ran into that in real life, when strangers respect your gender identity more than those who grow close to you?
Title: Re: Misgendered later
Post by: Northern Star Girl on June 06, 2018, 08:58:48 AM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on June 06, 2018, 08:58:48 AM
Quote from: DannyM on June 06, 2018, 08:51:48 AM
In the book, The Reincarnated Prince, there's a moment where Inius starts misgendering Jeb.
Has anybody ran into that in real life, when strangers respect your chosen gender more than those who grow close to you?
@DannyM
For many transgenders, including myself, our own family (parents and siblings) and previous close best friends have trouble accepting us in our new gender... in my case, they have not accepted me at all and have basically disowned me.....
.... so, to answer your question, in real life, at least for me, I find that "strangers" and new friends and acquaintances do in fact "respect my chosen gender more"
Danielle
Title: Re: Misgendered later
Post by: DannyM on June 06, 2018, 09:17:35 AM
Post by: DannyM on June 06, 2018, 09:17:35 AM
I edited that original post before I saw your reply. "Chosen gender" sounded off as soon as I typed it.
Title: Re: Misgendered later
Post by: DannyM on June 06, 2018, 10:55:26 AM
Post by: DannyM on June 06, 2018, 10:55:26 AM
With family, I think they tend to get caught up too much in their own hopes and ideas about how they think things should be versus how they are. In other words, their problems, not yours.
In the book (https://www.amazon.com/Reincarnated-Prince-Thirty-Years-Winter-ebook/dp/B07D6YW3T2/), Inius eventually gets a clue too.
In the book (https://www.amazon.com/Reincarnated-Prince-Thirty-Years-Winter-ebook/dp/B07D6YW3T2/), Inius eventually gets a clue too.
QuoteEmbarrassed silence lingered, then Jeb gave Inius a slap on the knee. "Let's go check on Midnight and Mother."
"Being seen as male matters to you, doesn't it?"
Jeb froze halfway to the door. Where was Inius going this time? "Yes, it matters to me."
"I don't understand, but there a lot of things in the world I don't need to understand. I respect you, so I'll respect your decision, as best as I'm able."
Jeb gave Inius a fierce bear hug, held it, then muttered "Midnight" and turned back to the door.
Title: Re: Misgendered later
Post by: Kylo on June 06, 2018, 11:48:21 AM
Post by: Kylo on June 06, 2018, 11:48:21 AM
Strangers are often just more polite in general I find. They have invested nothing and have nothing to lose.
Family on the other hand think they know you better than you know yourself.
Family on the other hand think they know you better than you know yourself.
Title: Re: Misgendered later
Post by: pamelatransuk on June 07, 2018, 04:37:57 AM
Post by: pamelatransuk on June 07, 2018, 04:37:57 AM
Hello DannyM
Sadly family members especially older ones are in many cases including mine usually opposed or at best cannot understand and therefore do not accept.
Those we assume to be friends can fall into either category - accept or reject - I have a very close friend who does accept me and frankly if an assumed friend does not accept us (after a short period of time to get used to the change), then they are not true friends anyway and we were kidding ourselves that they were.
Strangers usually do not care and therefore accept.
Pamela
Sadly family members especially older ones are in many cases including mine usually opposed or at best cannot understand and therefore do not accept.
Those we assume to be friends can fall into either category - accept or reject - I have a very close friend who does accept me and frankly if an assumed friend does not accept us (after a short period of time to get used to the change), then they are not true friends anyway and we were kidding ourselves that they were.
Strangers usually do not care and therefore accept.
Pamela