Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi,

Unsure of what topic this falls under, if this isnt the place let me know.

For a few years ive been having this need to buy and wear little girls clothes, and when i was about 14-15 i was told i had a twin that didnt really develop from the embryo stage so i feel like my twin is either with me (in spirit) or inside me wanting to be free, but that could be a small part of it and im losing my mind with this.
For about 13 years now i knew i was ment to be a girl. its like the woman and the girl are fighting to earn front seat in me.
As for how i look, im quite small, i.e small hands/feet, small face features etc...

Kisses-K

I think your first step would be to seek professional help.  I strongly suggest you try to find a therapist who specializes in gender issues.  Assuming you find one you tell them EVERYTHING.  They can only help if you're open and honest.

The process of development in the womb is complicated.  Yours was even more so.  The more I learn about the process the more I'm surprised 90% of the population isn't trans in some way.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

Not exactly sure what you're asking guidance for, I'm afraid, Kris >.<

But, I think whether she's there in spirit or not, could affect how you want to feel.

When I was younger, I wasted a lot of food, and was a very picky eater.  My older brother took it upon himself to eat the food no one wanted, and hated things going to waste. After he passed, it seemed like the least I could do to be a better person like he was is also try not to waste much(if any) food, and have done so.

My brother also suffered from gender dysphoria throughout most of his life, whereas I felt depressed but can't say I really understood or noticed my own dysphoria until long after he was gone. A part of me even wondered if he's living through me. Well, in a way, he totally is, because I looked-up to him. I wasn't really raised by my parents, moreso he raised me, and my life closely followed his own- so it might just be natural to grow up like the one you were taught by.

Why I'm saying any of this is because I think whether or not the twin is actually physically inside you or just with you in spirit, you can make it so by the presence of mind alone.  It might help your convictions or justifications of certain things you decide to do.  Part of it, too, if you ever feel like self-conscious or guilty about something about yourself, subconsciously you might try to put it on your twin, too.

I did something similar when I learned about the pregnancy drug DES(sorry I dont remember the details about DES beyond it can cause cancer in female embryo, and cause gender dysphoria in male embryo) from Tatiana and others.  For some, it was a chemical that helped shape their brain in embryo that caused them to be transgender; and I think, at least for a time, I kind of wondered if the same were the case with me. Sometimes it's hard to face truths, and we look for reasons elsewhere. Sometimes even just for fun, like toys having some bearing on your gender identity like Amaki(I think), or being born during certain times of the moon like MaryT said.

Quote from: Lilpwinc3ss on June 07, 2018, 07:04:46 AM
Hi,

Unsure of what topic this falls under, if this isnt the place let me know.

For a few years ive been having this need to buy and wear little girls clothes, and when i was about 14-15 i was told i had a twin that didnt really develop from the embryo stage so i feel like my twin is either with me (in spirit) or inside me wanting to be free, but that could be a small part of it and im losing my mind with this.
For about 13 years now i knew i was ment to be a girl. its like the woman and the girl are fighting to earn front seat in me.
As for how i look, im quite small, i.e small hands/feet, small face features etc...

Kisses-K

@Lilpwinc3ss
Dear Kris:  I can absolutely identify with your statement regarding being small and having "girl features" long before I decided to transition MTF.
In Junior High, High School, and even in College I never got above 5'4", no muscles, no bulk, girly face with a voice to match.  I was the butt of jokes and rude comments from male classmates that were developing into big muscular men...  the shower and locker room scene was torture.
The good news (for me and also for you) is all of that is working in our favor for reaching our sucessful transition goals.   So, Kris, that is very positive news for sure.

Regarding what you mentioned about your "twin" scenario,
I would advise you to follow the suggestion of @Denise as she replied to you on this thread to "seek professional help" with that issue.
Also the reply by @Eryn T has some good thoughts regarding some of the emotional concerns that you may have.

I see that @KathyLauren has already officially welcomed you earlier this morning on the Introductions Forum.  Be certain to look at the informative LINKS that she included at the end of her welcome message....  they will tell you how to best use the features of this site. 
Let me also take this opportunity for me to say WELCOME TO SUSAN'S PLACE, please continue to be involved here as much as you feel comfortable doing.
Wishing you well,
Danielle

Thank you all for commenting/replying, <3

Quote from: Denise on June 07, 2018, 07:20:54 AM
I think your first step would be to seek professional help.  I strongly suggest you try to find a therapist who specializes in gender issues.  Assuming you find one you tell them EVERYTHING.  They can only help if you're open and honest.

I am going to seek help for it, I am honest and open through day to day so it wont be hard to talk to a therapist :)

Quote from: Eryn T on June 07, 2018, 07:26:55 AM
Why I'm saying any of this is because I think whether or not the twin is actually physically inside you or just with you in spirit, you can make it so by the presence of mind alone.  It might help your convictions or justifications of certain things you decide to do.  Part of it, too, if you ever feel like self-conscious or guilty about something about yourself, subconsciously you might try to put it on your twin, too.

As far as I know I dont have any emotional 'side affects' with the loss. When I was told i had one, everything fell into place, so will ask therapist about it :)

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 07, 2018, 10:03:28 AM
@Lilpwinc3ss
Dear Kris:  I can absolutely identify with your statement regarding being small and having "girl features" long before I decided to transition MTF.
In Junior High, High School, and even in College I never got above 5'4", no muscles, no bulk, girly face with a voice to match.  I was the butt of jokes and rude comments from male classmates that were developing into big muscular men...  the shower and locker room scene was torture.
The good news (for me and also for you) is all of that is working in our favor for reaching our sucessful transition goals.   So, Kris, that is very positive news for sure.

Regarding what you mentioned about your "twin" scenario,
I would advise you to follow the suggestion of @Denise as she replied to you on this thread to "seek professional help" with that issue.
Also the reply by @Eryn T has some good thoughts regarding some of the emotional concerns that you may have.

I see that @KathyLauren has already officially welcomed you earlier this morning on the Introductions Forum.  Be certain to look at the informative LINKS that she included at the end of her welcome message....  they will tell you how to best use the features of this site. 
Let me also take this opportunity for me to say WELCOME TO SUSAN'S PLACE, please continue to be involved here as much as you feel comfortable doing.
Wishing you well,
Danielle

I am going to be active as much as i can here, as you've all made me feel welcomed. As mentioned above as far as I know I dont have any emotional feelings towards my twin, just that I have a strong spiritual connection with her. Yes I am thankful that small features are in mine and your favor ;) and that I am not alone with this transitioning <3

Kisses-K