Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi there, I know there's a similar thread.. and was reading some of it and it's interesting. But I was wondering specifically how long after starting hormone treatment people usually go 'full time' presenting clearly as female - presumably you get to a point where the changes are kind of obvious and it would be awkward not to?

I am expecting to start hormones in August, probably. But I've done various body hair/beard laser sessions on and off for years and have been wearing a lot of not-too-obvious women's clothes for years and wear mostly androgynous women's stuff or the odd neutral and not too masculine men's thing, and I pluck my eyebrows and remove body hair etc, so don't exactly look massively masculine. But it's not really obvious, unless I add more androgymous touches like nail polish or ear rings etc, which I only occasionally do and only with friends, not eg. at work.

But at some point after the hormones have some effect and maybe after a couple of more beard sessions etc, I'll need to sort out my hair, start dressing more obviously female and using some make-up, asking everyone to call me Liv, etc, but I've not quite decided exactly what timeframe I should be looking at yet. I'm looking at my calendar and thinking - could I take a bit of time of work at such-and-such a time to start my social transition without too much stress, and will I be in a female role for such-and-such a thing that's coming up towards the end of the year etc.

I was presenting fulltime and had done my name change before my first HRT appointment.

There are many paths through these woods. :)

Hugs, Devlyn

OK.. thanks :-) I guess there's no one answer to my question really.. And I suppose the same goes for how quickly the HRT has a really noticeable effect

Hi Liv

I'm coming up to a year on HRT and only changed my name & started living as the real me full-time last month.  I expect I could easily cover up the effects for another year or so if I really had to but for me it's not the effects of HRT that are driving me forward as much as the desire to just be me and stop hiding

Charlotte x

I see, thanks, yeah, I kind of want to get on with it too, but I guess I need to keep taking things one step at a time and not try to have it all figured out in advance as to exactly where I will be by a certain date and stuff ! I guess I need to chill about it more and not try to be in control of everything..

I also want to lose some weight first, and could do with some more laser. Am hoping the hormones reduce facial/body hair a bit too.

Anyway... like I say, I've been doing some beard laser and I'm just now sorting out an appointment to freeze some sperm just in case... (not likely I'll need it but you never know) and have already had a lot of therapy and got a psychiatrist's letter that says I'm gender dysphoric and have seen an endocrinologist who asked me to do blood tests, so... I am finally doing more about this rather than just thinking about it or having tentative gender explorations such as dressing as a woman once in a blue moon with friends or trying to see if it's enough for me to try to be a bit androgynous in my look and identify as non-binary (which it isn't, not least because I do have physical dysphoria).

I was on hormones a couple of years before starting RLE but it really wasn't hormones that were the limiting factor. I needed to have facial hair removal and needed assistance polishing off my image. Unlike today, I didn't have the internet where I could rapidly dig this information out so I had to do it the hard way and that took time. Once I had everything working, I lost my job and that pushed RLE several months earlier than I originally planed. Hormones really did very little as far as appearance and had the information been available earlier, I could have started even earlier.

This really depends on how old you are and how masculine you are at the start of HRT.

For the younger transitioners, many start presenting as female without any HRT. An example are the many cross dressers who are on the thin side. The same is true of someone who intends to fully transition.

For the older transitioners like myself, about 3 years of HRT is what many of us need in order to pass reasonably well. Two of the most important things in passing, in my opinion, are weight loss and facial electrolysis. Although heavy make up can conceal facial hair, it is obvious in bright outdoor daylight. Weight loss includes a losing muscle mass as well as fat. Both are needed to pass well during the daytime.

The changes from HRT began to show at 1 year, so I started dressing more androgynously for the next two years. After 3 years of HRT, my changes were sufficient enough that I felt comfortable presenting as female in public.

Of course, everybody's experience is different, but my experience may give you some idea of what to expect.

I´m 40 and I went full time about a month before any HRT. Name change after few weeks on HRT.

Never looked back...

In the UK with the NHS we often go full-time before HRT. I started my RLE about 3 months before starting on HRT.

Personally, BOTH steps gave me huge mental health benefits [emoji4].



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I don't think the word "usually" applies.  It can be anywhere from a few years before to a few years after.

In my case, I started RLE three months after HRT.

Quote from: Liv_J on June 16, 2018, 04:47:11 PM
. . . I am expecting to start hormones in August, probably.

I concur with 'all of above' . . . We're all unique and it chiefly depends on you, your circumstances & values regarding level of 'social acceptance' plus natural predisposition towards. Some pursue "RLE" in a hurry and some, like me, never do. Started at age 20 and am now 62. Accepted a good paying union job at a company where my father was Exec VP so pressure to conform outweighed transition desire and to this day No Regrets, father (and family) have since applauded this decision and accepted my TG status 100%.

A cop-out? Not really 'TG'?  Perhaps but with a b-cup bra size, a still full head of over shoulder length hair and a body to match (do need to lose some weight!) I jokingly sometimes tell people I'm FtM which, in a way, is closer to the real truth?

Quote from: Charlotte F on June 16, 2018, 05:06:08 PM
Hi Liv

I'm coming up to a year on HRT and only changed my name & started living as the real me full-time last month.  I expect I could easily cover up the effects for another year or so if I really had to but for me it's not the effects of HRT that are driving me forward as much as the desire to just be me and stop hiding

Charlotte x

This! I'm like 10 months on HRT now and already started living full time. I just couldn't bare being in "gender limbo" anymore.

My therapist won't write the letter for hormones unless I go FT for three months.  In that case, hair removal would have to happen first.


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For me, About a year after starting HRT.  I started October of 2015 and changed my name and gender officially in October of 2016, at which point I began to transition my appearance.  This is the point also in which my therapist started her "timer" for a year.

It really all happened once I changed my driver's license, my company updated my information and they have introduced me as Kait or Kat, "she" ever since.  Not possible to hide at that point and I found myself having need to get things in to a higher gear for presentation.  It has gotten A LOT easier since the beginning of this year.  Something really sparked a change and I am no longer passable as a male.

Most of my peers waited till after year 2 to do make the shift.  They were well enough along that they had no trouble stepping from one to the other.

I waited 5 years, but I'm a very patient person, and I wanted to feminize my face and body as much as possible before going full time. If someone is already retired, they have enough savings to comfortably pay for everything related to transition, and their significant other is accepting, etc., then nothing is holding them back, however, for those who rely on their job, don't have a lot of money, have a significant other who is unaccepting, then it may be more prudent not to rush into going full-time.  And while you are waiting to go full-time do some work (e.g., practice voice, deportment, grow out your hair, get electrolysis/and or laser facial hair removal, present as your true self as much as possible, etc.) to ensure success.

We all do it differently
For me I started on herbals in May of 17 then proper meds in October 2017. Came out in December to my wife started dressing fem in January and started estrogen. February came out at work and March I went full time real life and haven't looked back. Came out to the world on Facebook in March. Legally changed my name and birth certificate In May and changed my gender marker and drivers licence last week.

For me it was years. The thing is that whilst HRT can do huge things, it's so gradual that people you're around all the time, work colleagues and family, often don't even realise. I was constantly Male failing with strangers about 1 year into hormones, but still have work caolleagues not realise anything was happening even after 4 years of hormones and a breast augmentation! I've taken it at a pace that suits me and only made the decision to go full time when I felt I was ready. Which is now

I started presenting female full time 5 months before I began HRT. I lost my job and seeing I didn't have the obstacle of navigating transitioning in a work environment, I jumped at the opportunity. I got home after getting fired, threw my male clothing in the trash and told myself I would never wear male clothing again. And I haven't. It took 5 months to get insurance to be able to pay for hormones. In the 5 months between going full time and starting HRT I legally changed my name and gender.

You will likely find that everyone has a different experience. There's no right answer. I think most people would say they started presenting full time the day they couldn't bear wearing male clothing one more day.

Quote from: allisonsteph on June 17, 2018, 04:34:20 PM
I started presenting female full time 5 months before I began HRT. I lost my job and seeing I didn't have the obstacle of navigating transitioning in a work environment, I jumped at the opportunity. I got home after getting fired, threw my male clothing in the trash and told myself I would never wear male clothing again. And I haven't. It took 5 months to get insurance to be able to pay for hormones. In the 5 months between going full time and starting HRT I legally changed my name and gender.

You will likely find that everyone has a different experience. There's no right answer. I think most people would say they started presenting full time the day they couldn't bear wearing male clothing one more day.

That's a very interesting though. After I went full time I had a very dirt job come up at work so I thought I'd just put my old jeans and tee on. Well I finished the job and they went straight in the garbage with all the other male cloths. I just could not stand the feel of them on my skin

Thanks for all the interesting posts, I feel like I have a better grasp of it now... and can see there's no one solution. I'll just see how it goes x

I was full-time 24/7 about 5 months after starting HRT, faster than I had expected due to changing circumstances in my personal life.  I was effectively full time when out of the house for some time prior to this, due to complex personal circumstances.

When I started HRT I thought I would never be full-time anything.  Circumstances change, and plans do not often survive contact with the Real World.

So true Michelle. Plans seem to last about a nano second with me. Lol
You have to follow your path and throw the plans in the trash IMHO

Quote from: Liv_J on June 17, 2018, 05:46:39 PM
Thanks for all the interesting posts, I feel like I have a better grasp of it now... and can see there's no one solution. I'll just see how it goes x

This really is a part of transitioning that never got planned...area of the process I thought would take time did not and things popped up I had never considered and I really thought I had thought it out!

The best I have been able to do is set a long term end goal, sans date, that is simple.  I have a point where I will feel that I have worked through the steps to feel complete.  Not an end to transitioning...that will never end and there will forever be growth.  Just a point where I will be able to say, made it.

I finally have a rough planning of how my surgical transition would work well for me.  This gives me steps to stay focused on.  For all of this, I am aware of the randomness of life and there are so many things that can change with very little interaction on our part.

Glad to hear all that. My plans seem to go out the window daily. Surgery was off due to a possible 7 yr wait. Now I got in with a brand new doctor specializing in transgender and that wait has dropped to 4 yrs or less. My eyes have opened to all
The new possibilities with the new doctor so much on board and so passionate about transgender issues. She is not even 30 and interned under one of the best here in the city plus others.
Every corner turned opens new paths and I'll follow them all. My counselor has kept pushing that this journey never ends, you may think you have arrived and something new will be opened up especially with emotions so much evolving. We will never stop becoming for the rest of our days and I'm fine with that. We have a life time of change to catch up on.
Best journey and happiness to you

If I could pass as ftm in the next year or so I would be happy [emoji28] I feel like my boring short black hair kind of dismisses me right now. I stopped progesterone a week ago today and my anxiety around my gender has improved. I'm still a transgender woman. I just don't want to become bitter through this process and I need to focus on my goals. It could be stopping the med that's helped or that I'm longer on hrt. I'm not exactly sure.
I have a family event tomorrow, I hope to find out then. [emoji4]

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Everyone's different of course, I went full time about 3 months before hormones but it was an easy transition as I was already dressing basically feminine. I had a bit of gynecomastia also so there were some curves there prior to hormones. Nevertheless, my hair was still pretty short and I had to shave a lot, but I was determined not to look back.

So very true Robyn. It's great not looking back and once you are past that first fear hurdle it's fairly smooth sailing. Well except to hiccups and bumps in the road. But those make it that much more interesting

Quote from: Donna on June 23, 2018, 04:28:10 PM
So very true Robyn. It's great not looking back and once you are past that first fear hurdle it's fairly smooth sailing. Well except to hiccups and bumps in the road. But those make it that much more interesting

I transitioned 11 years ago, and it feels so natural now; and when I think about the pre transition years it feels like a very distant past, but I still remember how very difficult and scary it was when I first started the process.

I never had RLE. After my GRS, Ffs and BA, I then became a tg female and changed my IDs. I wanted to find peace and comfort and to achieve this I felt it necessary not to make others feel uncomfortable, especially other fenales. This meant that I learned to present myself in manners, voice and looks of a female.

Hi Liv!
As you can see from all the post on this subject, It all depends on what your comfortable with. There is certainly no need to rush into anything. For me, I'm soooo tired of living a lie. I started HRT in August last year. Next month will be 1 year HRT. I'm beginning my RLE next month. For me, it's the happiest moment in my life. I just know in my heart I'm ready. I think you will know too when your ready.  Good luck and enjoy your journey.

Its been 7 years and I still haven't :(, life can be a real bummer haha. Actually really depressing when I put a number to it :(. I started end of high school then went on to do a doctorate in my degree so no money yet to take to the next steps.

Quote from: MissyMay2.0 on June 17, 2018, 10:52:23 AM
I waited 5 years, but I'm a very patient person, and I wanted to feminize my face and body as much as possible before going full time. If someone is already retired, they have enough savings to comfortably pay for everything related to transition, and their significant other is accepting, etc., then nothing is holding them back, however, for those who rely on their job, don't have a lot of money, have a significant other who is unaccepting, then it may be more prudent not to rush into going full-time.  And while you are waiting to go full-time do some work (e.g., practice voice, deportment, grow out your hair, get electrolysis/and or laser facial hair removal, present as your true self as much as possible, etc.) to ensure success.

You are so wise MissyMay2.0!   Everyone goes at their own pace but slow and steady seems to work best for some of us! :)

I was probably on HRT about six months before going full time.  Didn't have a choice as my body was giving me away by then.

hm, I thought I commented in this thread. I guess it was one of those 'think don't type' situations that I find myself in a lot.

Anyways, I started presenting full ~2 months of knowing myself. I didn't start HRT for ~3 months after that. I couldn't hold myself in. did I look the part, nope and I still don't. But I felt it!!!!!

I started living full time before I started HRT.  At the point I didn't have anything left to lose and so I didn't even give a toss what other people thought.

@Liv_J
Dear Liv_J:
At the risk of me telling you what you may have already heard... here is important stuff for you and anyone that is considering HRT or at the beginning their HRT journey should be aware of...
...here are some of my thoughts as it may relate to what you might expect.

As has been stated over and over here on the Forums... and by me in many of my past comments on various posts, HRT will work uniquely in your own unique body.
What you read about other transitioning members experiences with HRT most likely will not be identical to your own experiences.

Some will experience more significant changes more quickly and then some will experience less significant changes more slowly....   it is all up to your genes and how your body reacts to the HRT.   Your doctor will  undoubtedly be looking at your frequent blood test results during your journey to determine if any alterations in the HRT regimen are needed.

The adage that you have probably already heard regarding HRT and how it may work for various individuals  is "YMMV"  meaning that Your Mileage May Vary.
   
PATIENCE is definitely required.... usually not much happens very quickly with HRT... but changes will happen.  Do some reading of other transitioners posts and look at many of the posted HRT timelines and the before and after pictures. ....  they can give you a rough idea of what you MIGHT expect.

Many times the very first noticeable changes can be felt and seen within the first 2 to 6 months... breast tenderness, breast bud lumps forming under the nipples and possibly changes in body hair growth, your own body and urine smell, changes in erections becoming less intense, libido, etc.

Without a doubt this can be very "EXCITING and SCARY all at the same time."   One needs to hang on for an amazing ride.  Some of my best and most appreciated and dramatic body changes happened at about the 5 month point through the start of year #2 of my HRT journey.   
Even though I was able to very successfully pass before I went full-time... when I did go full-time at the 1 1/2 year mark I have been passing 100% of the time.  Of course that is just my experience, I suppose I can thank my unique body makeup and my genes for all that.

We are here to rejoice with you in the good times and to support you in the not so good times.
One more time.... PATIENCE is required.   The attitude of many people today is "I want it all and I want it now" ... that will not apply to HRT.   You might want to re-read what I just wrote so you can get a good grasp of the details that I mentioned.

I will be looking forward to your continued updates as you feel free to post them.   
Hugs and well wishes
Danielle

Quote from: Liv_J on June 16, 2018, 04:47:11 PM
Hi there, I know there's a similar thread.. and was reading some of it and it's interesting. But I was wondering specifically how long after starting hormone treatment people usually go 'full time' presenting clearly as female - presumably you get to a point where the changes are kind of obvious and it would be awkward not to?

I am expecting to start hormones in August, probably. But I've done various body hair/beard laser sessions on and off for years and have been wearing a lot of not-too-obvious women's clothes for years and wear mostly androgynous women's stuff or the odd neutral and not too masculine men's thing, and I pluck my eyebrows and remove body hair etc, so don't exactly look massively masculine. But it's not really obvious, unless I add more androgymous touches like nail polish or ear rings etc, which I only occasionally do and only with friends, not eg. at work.

But at some point after the hormones have some effect and maybe after a couple of more beard sessions etc, I'll need to sort out my hair, start dressing more obviously female and using some make-up, asking everyone to call me Liv, etc, but I've not quite decided exactly what timeframe I should be looking at yet. I'm looking at my calendar and thinking - could I take a bit of time of work at such-and-such a time to start my social transition without too much stress, and will I be in a female role for such-and-such a thing that's coming up towards the end of the year etc.

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on September 12, 2018, 04:42:27 PM
@Liv_J
Dear Liv_J:
... We are here to rejoice with you in the good times and to support you in the not so good times.
One more time.... PATIENCE is required.   The attitude of many people today is "I want it all and I want it now" ... that will not apply to HRT.   You might want to re-read what I just wrote so you can get a good grasp of the details that I mentioned.

I will be looking forward to your continued updates as you feel free to post them.   
Hugs and well wishes
Danielle

Thanks so much, sorry I didn't reply to this before, probably because for various reasons I suddenly decided I probably wasn't going to go further with my transition and didn't visit here much. But now those reasons don't seem as daunting to me at the moment x

I would say your milage may vary. Each person develops differently.

In my case I never really did produce much T during puberty... So I was spared a lot of the effects. My voice was female to begin with, as most the time I was called the right pronoun (female). Plus I had gynocomastia form elevated estrogen levels. They were so elevated that my endocrinologist believes I was on HRT before.

So I went full time pretty quickly. I have only been on hormones for about 8 months. But I went full-time even before hormones.

Kaiser wouldn't pay for facial hair removal until after I'd been on HRT for six months, so that kind of set the schedule for me, as no amount of makeup would cover my mostly black beard shadow.  I spent months seven through twelve doing laser facial hair removal to get all the black ones.

Then, thirteen months after starting HRT, I went full time everywhere except at work. (I am an attorney, so that part took a lot of preparation due to the legal name change).

I made the decision to go full time at around month sixteen, but legal issues around the name change (care, custody and property issues with my parents, both of whom are invalid) took around four months to iron out.

I came out full time at month 20.  Then at just over two years in, I started electrolysis to get all the grey hairs and the black ones that were tough enough to survive ten sessions of nuking with the laser.

I am still doing electrolysis.

I think I was full time before I even started HRT. Or it might have been at pretty much the same time.  But I had already the same size boobs at that time that I have now.

I started HRT the third week of January 2010 by August I was male failing all over the place. I went full time in September of 2010.

To give you an idea here are two pictures one late April and the other in August.

(https://i.imgur.com/mr62INP.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/XW3OpCi.jpg)

Your milage may vary but in my experience it takes a little bit to start and then it snowballs and if you wait too long they cut your man card up to shreds at a company picnic.

Quote from: NatalieRene on February 04, 2019, 12:13:54 AM
I]

Your milage may vary but in my experience it takes a little bit to start and then it snowballs and if you wait too long they cut your man card up to shreds at a company picnic.

And when will that snowballing start?  I am still waiting for the first snow flakes to fall!  The only indication that i take estrogen are my swollen  feet, and I takespiro to unswell them!  My boobs hurt or the last 3 or 4 years already, and I cannot see any more growth than it was normal for the last few years (a very little bit of growth at a time).

Quote from: Dietlind on February 04, 2019, 09:14:13 AM
And when will that snowballing start?  I am still waiting for the first snow flakes to fall!  The only indication that i take estrogen are my swollen  feet, and I takespiro to unswell them!  My boobs hurt or the last 3 or 4 years already, and I cannot see any more growth than it was normal for the last few years (a very little bit of growth at a time).

Age can be a factor but the changes start slow and it's something that sneaks up on you. The best way to tell the difference is take pictures. You might find if you compare photos from a few months ago with now that there are more changes then swollen feet. I am not sure how your intersex condition effects things though.

Quote from: NatalieRene on February 04, 2019, 09:43:15 AM
I am not sure how your intersex condition effects things though.

And that is, what I am afraid of.  My genome analysis shows that I do not react to most of the opioid containing medications (they just slide through me), and I am concerned whether estrogen reacts similar.
I do not know what keeps my breasts growing, or got them growing to start with?  Everything is up in the air, until they do some more testing with me!  But to get into specialists for these kind of things, is like trying to force a win in the lottery.  I made an appointment with one of those people in the beginning of December, and got one for the end of March!