Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: ErinAscending on June 21, 2018, 12:54:52 PM Return to Full Version
Title: An emotional morning.
Post by: ErinAscending on June 21, 2018, 12:54:52 PM
Post by: ErinAscending on June 21, 2018, 12:54:52 PM
So I was supposed to go in for an assessment to begin therapy today. My medical group doesn't have a robust mental health department of their own so the appointment was with an outside provider.
I find out when I get there my insurance wasn't going to pay for it because I wasn't referred by my primary care provider first. They recommended calling my doctor to see if I could get one over the phone.
I had for the longest time been with this creepy male Dr. who I always disliked and he never believed me about any of my physical ailments and most of the time wanted to add 2 or 3 meds to my schedule that I knew I didn't actually need. I have for 30 years always picked male Dr.s because that's what was expected of me and never trusted a single one. So recently, as I've begun to emerge from my long stifling cocoon, I had switched to a new primary care Dr. and very deliberately picked a woman. I wanted a new start and I wanted to be honest for once in my life.
Called her office only to find out that since I hadn't had my initial eval with the new Dr. yet they would not be able to issue a referral over the phone. I know I was being a pretty pathetic sounding drama queen to the desk nurse but I couldn't help it. Next thing I know I'm being told to hold on a minute...
Phone comes off hold and I hear "Hello ____, this is Dr. _____. I understand you were in need of a referral to do a mental health assessment?"
I said, "Yes" (pretty sure I couldn't help but slip a sob into that one word)
"Well, your appointment with me isn't till next week so I can't help with that. What I can do is fit you in right now if you need to come in.", she said.
So, I met my new Dr. for the first time and talked with her for about 30 minutes. How she found the time I don't really know and I don't care... She was awesome! For the first time I said the words to someone face to face. "I'm transgender"
She made sure I was okay. She listened to me. I could tell that she actually cared. I think I'm going to like my new Dr.
Therapy assessment is on schedule again for next week. And this time my insurance will pay for it.
Annnnnd there I go sounding like a drama queen again. Time to go have a better day!!! :laugh:
I find out when I get there my insurance wasn't going to pay for it because I wasn't referred by my primary care provider first. They recommended calling my doctor to see if I could get one over the phone.
I had for the longest time been with this creepy male Dr. who I always disliked and he never believed me about any of my physical ailments and most of the time wanted to add 2 or 3 meds to my schedule that I knew I didn't actually need. I have for 30 years always picked male Dr.s because that's what was expected of me and never trusted a single one. So recently, as I've begun to emerge from my long stifling cocoon, I had switched to a new primary care Dr. and very deliberately picked a woman. I wanted a new start and I wanted to be honest for once in my life.
Called her office only to find out that since I hadn't had my initial eval with the new Dr. yet they would not be able to issue a referral over the phone. I know I was being a pretty pathetic sounding drama queen to the desk nurse but I couldn't help it. Next thing I know I'm being told to hold on a minute...
Phone comes off hold and I hear "Hello ____, this is Dr. _____. I understand you were in need of a referral to do a mental health assessment?"
I said, "Yes" (pretty sure I couldn't help but slip a sob into that one word)
"Well, your appointment with me isn't till next week so I can't help with that. What I can do is fit you in right now if you need to come in.", she said.
So, I met my new Dr. for the first time and talked with her for about 30 minutes. How she found the time I don't really know and I don't care... She was awesome! For the first time I said the words to someone face to face. "I'm transgender"
She made sure I was okay. She listened to me. I could tell that she actually cared. I think I'm going to like my new Dr.
Therapy assessment is on schedule again for next week. And this time my insurance will pay for it.
Annnnnd there I go sounding like a drama queen again. Time to go have a better day!!! :laugh:
Title: Re: An emotional morning.
Post by: ainsley on June 21, 2018, 12:58:29 PM
Post by: ainsley on June 21, 2018, 12:58:29 PM
Nicely done.
I would say that if you handled this snafu, with your transition thus far, with such ease, then you will do well going forward with all of the unbelievable and unexpected obstacles you may (will) encounter. :)
I would say that if you handled this snafu, with your transition thus far, with such ease, then you will do well going forward with all of the unbelievable and unexpected obstacles you may (will) encounter. :)
Title: Re: An emotional morning.
Post by: Northern Star Girl on June 21, 2018, 01:01:34 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on June 21, 2018, 01:01:34 PM
Dear ErinJohnson:
I started reading your posting and was feeling very sad for you and the troubles that you were having with appointments, doctors, insurance, etc...
.......... THEN
I kept on reading and low and behold, your posting is a good news report.
I am very happy for you that things are seemingly going better for you now.
Life can be an emotional roller coaster for sure...
Keep us posted....
Hugs,
Danielle
I started reading your posting and was feeling very sad for you and the troubles that you were having with appointments, doctors, insurance, etc...
.......... THEN
I kept on reading and low and behold, your posting is a good news report.
I am very happy for you that things are seemingly going better for you now.
Life can be an emotional roller coaster for sure...
Keep us posted....
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: An emotional morning.
Post by: ErinAscending on June 21, 2018, 01:44:04 PM
Post by: ErinAscending on June 21, 2018, 01:44:04 PM
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 21, 2018, 01:01:34 PM
I am very happy for you that things are seemingly going better for you now.
Life can be an emotional roller coaster for sure...
Keep us posted....
Hugs,
Danielle
Thanks Danielle! :laugh:
I plan to update everyone here just to see if anyone has any advice along the way. Probably not every step mind you, just some of the bigger things. Don't want to be a pest about everything me... Ha Ha
<3,
Erin
Title: Re: An emotional morning.
Post by: Allison S on June 21, 2018, 01:57:34 PM
Post by: Allison S on June 21, 2018, 01:57:34 PM
Yes, that's great news. I'm just not sure I understand your issue with male doctors? Specifically the mistrust you have for "male doctors for 30 years". I just think we need to be careful when making blanket statements. People can sometimes be easily discouraged from getting help wherever it's available.
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Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Title: Re: An emotional morning.
Post by: ErinAscending on June 21, 2018, 02:18:23 PM
Post by: ErinAscending on June 21, 2018, 02:18:23 PM
Quote from: Allison S on June 21, 2018, 01:57:34 PM
Yes, that's great news. I'm just not sure I understand your issue with male doctors? Specifically the mistrust you have for "male doctors for 30 years". I just think we need to be careful when making blanket statements. People can sometimes be easily discouraged from getting help wherever it's available.
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That is a problem I have all to my lonesome. Resulting from a period in my life age 6 to 13. Never been addressed but I'm hoping to do so now. It's not just Dr.'s. It's irrational. It's not healthy. It's rather shameful in fact and I can't seem to help it. :(
Title: Re: An emotional morning.
Post by: Northern Star Girl on June 21, 2018, 02:25:18 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on June 21, 2018, 02:25:18 PM
Quote from: Allison S on June 21, 2018, 01:57:34 PM
Yes, that's great news. I'm just not sure I understand your issue with male doctors? Specifically the mistrust you have for "male doctors for 30 years". I just think we need to be careful when making blanket statements. People can sometimes be easily discouraged from getting help wherever it's available.
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@Allison S:
Dear Allison.... thanks for pointing that out on this thread.
My Endo before I relocated and had to find another doctor, was for 3 years a very caring, kind and non-judgemental male doctor... he made no comments or made funny looks whenever I had exams and appointments with him although initially, like many of us, I was embarrassed with my first few appointments, and that would have happened with seeing either a man or a woman doctor.
I am now seeing a female doctor and she is terrific also, but I have absolutely no reservations about whether my doctors are male or female as long as they know their stuff and conduct themselves in a professional and caring manner.
All of this however is all about personal preference so whatever makes the patient, ErinJohnson, feel comfortable, they should go with it.
Thanks for your reply post on this thread.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: An emotional morning.
Post by: davina61 on June 21, 2018, 02:38:46 PM
Post by: davina61 on June 21, 2018, 02:38:46 PM
As I had not been to my GP for years (UK by the way) I just went to the first Doc I could see when I wanted to be referred to the Gender Clinic. Then a nice female Doc took on my case, she is American, and has been very supportive and helpful
Title: Re: An emotional morning.
Post by: Jessica on June 21, 2018, 02:47:04 PM
Post by: Jessica on June 21, 2018, 02:47:04 PM
Hi Erin 🙋♀️ I was on the same thought line as @Alaskan Danielle , feeling sad with your situation. And THEN...... I'm so happy things worked out for you and you have found a doctor you feel comfortable with. I do agree with @Allison S that generalizations of male doctors can create roadblocks and to give a chance on an individual basis. While I personally think it is easier to talk to a woman doctor, because I think the empathy may be more heartfelt ( oh my! That's a generalization), male doctors may be your only option.
Hugs and smiles, Jessica 💁♀️
Hugs and smiles, Jessica 💁♀️