Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Yesterday I went to have my nails done and everything was great. The nail tech that I use is very friendly and just a all around great person. While I was getting my toe nails done a man walks in with two young daughters about 9 or 10 and were twins. I thought to my self that is a special dad to take his daughters to get their nails done. that has to be a great dad right? By the time his daughters were done I was getting my fingernails painted. he came up behind me and started berating me in front of everyone. he said he found being trans funny. I was in tears and lost my temper. I stood up and told him that I was glad I could give him amusement because I don't find being trans funny. I told him we don't choose this it chose us. I hope his daughter turn out to be more accepting than their dad. Even his own girls were crying by his actions. I hope he sees how he treats other people affects everyone even his own family. I just don't understand how people can be so mean when it does not even affect them.  I am just blowing off steam but I don't see ever just being accepted as long as their are ->-bleeped-<-s like this man and people stupid enough to be followers . Sorry for venting

Krista, I am sorry to had to experience that guy's stupidity.  Good for you for standing up for yourself.  A fine example he was for his daughters, showing them what a d***head he was.

Be cautious about your own safety when standing up to harassers.  You were in a safe place with safe people nearby.  In other circumstances, it might be better to just walk away.

Feel free to vent here.  We all 'get it'.

Quote from: kristagoins on June 24, 2018, 06:55:26 AM
Yesterday I went to have my nails done and everything was great. The nail tech that I use is very friendly and just a all around great person. While I was getting my toe nails done a man walks in with two young daughters about 9 or 10 and were twins. I thought to my self that is a special dad to take his daughters to get their nails done. that has to be a great dad right? By the time his daughters were done I was getting my fingernails painted. he came up behind me and started berating me in front of everyone. he said he found being trans funny. I was in tears and lost my temper. I stood up and told him that I was glad I could give him amusement because I don't find being trans funny. I told him we don't choose this it chose us. I hope his daughter turn out to be more accepting than their dad. Even his own girls were crying by his actions. I hope he sees how he treats other people affects everyone even his own family. I just don't understand how people can be so mean when it does not even affect them.  I am just blowing off steam but I don't see ever just being accepted as long as their are ->-bleeped-<-s like this man and people stupid enough to be followers . Sorry for venting

Krista,

  I'm sorry you got caught in that situation.  But I'm glad you are venting.  No one should have to go through that.  There are a lot of good people that do accept us for our true self but there are going to be people like this guy. Try and move pass it and focus on the good parts of your day.  Hopefully as his daughter get older he will see life differently.

Take care,

Julie

Krista, that was horrible, I'm sorry that happened. I'm glad you had the strength to stand up to him and his closed mind. I agree that his poor daughters will hopefully  realise that hate has no place in this world. X

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Quote from: kristagoins on June 24, 2018, 06:55:26 AM
Yesterday I went to have my nails done and everything was great. The nail tech that I use is very friendly and just a all around great person. While I was getting my toe nails done a man walks in with two young daughters about 9 or 10 and were twins. I thought to my self that is a special dad to take his daughters to get their nails done. that has to be a great dad right? By the time his daughters were done I was getting my fingernails painted. he came up behind me and started berating me in front of everyone. he said he found being trans funny. I was in tears and lost my temper. I stood up and told him that I was glad I could give him amusement because I don't find being trans funny. I told him we don't choose this it chose us. I hope his daughter turn out to be more accepting than their dad. Even his own girls were crying by his actions. I hope he sees how he treats other people affects everyone even his own family. I just don't understand how people can be so mean when it does not even affect them.  I am just blowing off steam but I don't see ever just being accepted as long as their are ->-bleeped-<-s like this man and people stupid enough to be followers . Sorry for venting

I honestly feel it stems from some of our ancient most basic animal instincts.  See someone different from the social pack? ATTACK.  Don't accept, don't adapt, don't learn from their culture or strengths.

This guy was just acting... like an animal. He probably felt his masculinity threatened .. or just felt he'd 'make an example' without actually thinking.. about anything other than himself.  A typical male chauvinist. Sorry to the other guys that aren't that way out there, but they are so sadly common.

I am sorry you had this experience.. I pray you find a way to cope with this stress and to realize it doesn't happen every day, which is wonderful too.  Alot also depends on your location and the people in your area.

What a horrible thing to go through, I'm sorry that you had to be put through that.  And also, good for you for standing up for yourself, I hope at the very least it got through to him.

I think Doreen gave a fantastic post as to what was probably going through his mind.  I think it was his own masculinity being threatened, along with whatever silly beliefs he might have bouncing around in his head. 

He doesn't even understand why he believes that. It's from his indoctrination and to question it gives him too much cognitive dissonance. I mean, how can mom, dad, our religion and community where I. Grew up be wrong? His actions are just an effort to reinforce his beliefs as our existence brings them into question.


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Sorry to hear about your experience. Try not to feed into negativity by losing your temper in public. You are entitled to be in the nail salon as a paying customer just like anyone else. This might have been an opportunity to educate this meat-head. For example as a reply say "and why do you feel trans is funny?" Humor is better than hatred.

Quote from: Ms. Bee on June 24, 2018, 10:12:03 AM
Sorry to hear about your experience. Try not to feed into negativity by losing your temper in public. You are entitled to be in the nail salon as a paying customer just like anyone else. This might have been an opportunity to educate this meat-head. For example as a reply say "and why do you feel trans is funny?" Humor is better than hatred.

The problem with these types of people is that they are unreasonable, and trying to reason with their ignorance is inviting them to step up on their soapbox and spew more hatred and insults. My personal opinion is that one of the employees, or the manager/owner of the nail salon should have intervened; and since they didn't put a stop to it, I would take my business elsewhere.

Quote from: kristagoins on June 24, 2018, 06:55:26 AM
Yesterday I went to have my nails done and everything was great. The nail tech that I use is very friendly and just a all around great person. While I was getting my toe nails done a man walks in with two young daughters about 9 or 10 and were twins. I thought to my self that is a special dad to take his daughters to get their nails done. that has to be a great dad right? By the time his daughters were done I was getting my fingernails painted. he came up behind me and started berating me in front of everyone. he said he found being trans funny. I was in tears and lost my temper. I stood up and told him that I was glad I could give him amusement because I don't find being trans funny. I told him we don't choose this it chose us. I hope his daughter turn out to be more accepting than their dad. Even his own girls were crying by his actions. I hope he sees how he treats other people affects everyone even his own family. I just don't understand how people can be so mean when it does not even affect them.  I am just blowing off steam but I don't see ever just being accepted as long as their are ->-bleeped-<-s like this man and people stupid enough to be followers . Sorry for venting

It's sad when someone in that man's shoes can't extend the emotions he must have for his daughters to a trans girl going about her day in the same way... 

I am sorry this happened to you. I know how upsetting that must have been. I am glad others in the shop other than that person were accepting and welcoming.

I have come across a few jerks and it is unsettling when it happens.

I hope his daughters are or develop to be accepting of others that are different.

I am glad you responded back to him.

Wow, what a terrible experience.  So sorry to hear that happened to you!

Hello Krista

It is so upsetting when we encounter bigots like this. They do it either due to intolerance and hatred or simple ignorance and worse still they do not wish to be educated by us. They like embarrassing us and mocking us.

I am relieved you managed to stand up to him and I hope just hope he may later have felt guilty - perhaps his daughters put him right afterwards.

Hugs

Pamela