Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: AnamethatstartswithE on July 06, 2018, 06:55:46 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: AnamethatstartswithE on July 06, 2018, 06:55:46 PM
Post by: AnamethatstartswithE on July 06, 2018, 06:55:46 PM
Hello,
So I've been full time for 3 weeks now. Parts of it have been stressful, there's always some initial awkwardness when I interact with people I haven't seen since my change, but all in all things are great. Lately I've been finding myself sitting at my desk and just thinking to myself "god I love being a girl." A lot. It's kind of becoming distracting. Wearing pants instead of a skirt seems to help with that, but I really like wearing skirts. Do cis people have these types of thoughts? Honestly I can totally see cis guys saying "god I love being a man," it would actually explain a lot.
It's funny, a month ago I would wear just jeans and a men's button down shirt to work, and when I got home I would put on a skirt and top, and sometimes do my makeup. Today I went to work wearing makeup, a top and a skirt, and when I got home I changed into jeans and a T-Shirt. I never used to think that I could do this, I thought that I was just a miserable person and would be like that my entire life.
Today I had to hold myself back from crying at work, I read an article about how now Delaware as well as Ohio is looking at passing one of those forcible outing laws for schools. I remembered how scared and alone and sad I felt when I was in school. I knew something was wrong, I knew I might be trans, but I also knew that there was no one on the planet that I could trust. I just can't imagine the cruelty that a person would have to have to try to pass one of these rules.
This is turning into a journal entry, anyways I'm not sure why I'm posting this, seems like a downer.
So I've been full time for 3 weeks now. Parts of it have been stressful, there's always some initial awkwardness when I interact with people I haven't seen since my change, but all in all things are great. Lately I've been finding myself sitting at my desk and just thinking to myself "god I love being a girl." A lot. It's kind of becoming distracting. Wearing pants instead of a skirt seems to help with that, but I really like wearing skirts. Do cis people have these types of thoughts? Honestly I can totally see cis guys saying "god I love being a man," it would actually explain a lot.
It's funny, a month ago I would wear just jeans and a men's button down shirt to work, and when I got home I would put on a skirt and top, and sometimes do my makeup. Today I went to work wearing makeup, a top and a skirt, and when I got home I changed into jeans and a T-Shirt. I never used to think that I could do this, I thought that I was just a miserable person and would be like that my entire life.
Today I had to hold myself back from crying at work, I read an article about how now Delaware as well as Ohio is looking at passing one of those forcible outing laws for schools. I remembered how scared and alone and sad I felt when I was in school. I knew something was wrong, I knew I might be trans, but I also knew that there was no one on the planet that I could trust. I just can't imagine the cruelty that a person would have to have to try to pass one of these rules.
This is turning into a journal entry, anyways I'm not sure why I'm posting this, seems like a downer.
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: KathyLauren on July 06, 2018, 07:16:38 PM
Post by: KathyLauren on July 06, 2018, 07:16:38 PM
Quote from: AnamethatstartswithE on July 06, 2018, 06:55:46 PMHun, that's not a problem. Welcome to the rest of your life! No one can guarantee that the rest of your life will all be this happy, but you will always be a girl, and that will always be something to be happy about.
Lately I've been finding myself sitting at my desk and just thinking to myself "god I love being a girl."
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: Northern Star Girl on July 06, 2018, 07:20:49 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on July 06, 2018, 07:20:49 PM
@AnamethatstartswithE
What you are saying and describing in your first 2 paragraphs sounds like something I can identify with.... completely normal as far as I am concerned.
I love being full time and living and interacting with others as a woman.
You are correct, your 3rd paragraph is definitely a downer but all we can do is help and support those that are hurting from that new law if it passes. Passing a law, and then enforcing it are two separate things.... not all laws are aggressively enforced... so that could be the silver lining on the cloud.
By all means, feel free to always post your feelings and thoughts even though it can also be a journal entree... you can accomplish both a Forums post and a Journal entree at the same time...
Thank you for posting your thoughts...
I always enjoy reading what you have to say on the various threads around the forums.
Hugs,
Danielle
What you are saying and describing in your first 2 paragraphs sounds like something I can identify with.... completely normal as far as I am concerned.
I love being full time and living and interacting with others as a woman.
You are correct, your 3rd paragraph is definitely a downer but all we can do is help and support those that are hurting from that new law if it passes. Passing a law, and then enforcing it are two separate things.... not all laws are aggressively enforced... so that could be the silver lining on the cloud.
By all means, feel free to always post your feelings and thoughts even though it can also be a journal entree... you can accomplish both a Forums post and a Journal entree at the same time...
Thank you for posting your thoughts...
I always enjoy reading what you have to say on the various threads around the forums.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: Rachel on July 06, 2018, 07:39:47 PM
Post by: Rachel on July 06, 2018, 07:39:47 PM
I love picking out my work outfit. I wear light makeup to work and enjoy putting it on. I like signing my name. I too when I get home change into a nice pair of jean shorts and a cotton sleeveless top.
At work I feel so good when I sit back and think about how I am just me now. I blend in pretty well and my transition is just a memory in peoples minds.
I purchased a car tonight and I felt so good having everything done in my name with no worries I would need to redo the paperwork later for a name change.
I hope those politicians pay dearly in November. I to remember how hard it was in school.
At work I feel so good when I sit back and think about how I am just me now. I blend in pretty well and my transition is just a memory in peoples minds.
I purchased a car tonight and I felt so good having everything done in my name with no worries I would need to redo the paperwork later for a name change.
I hope those politicians pay dearly in November. I to remember how hard it was in school.
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: MegaConfused on July 06, 2018, 10:22:01 PM
Post by: MegaConfused on July 06, 2018, 10:22:01 PM
I remember you, you had commented on my first thread before it got deleted. Anyway, I'm glad I read this. I'm still confused about my identity, I have thought that if I were to transition, I will be so excited. Just loving all the new things, the new experiences, everything about being a woman. Possibly an insensitive anology, but imagine if someone who was born blind get to see, "normal" things like seeing a tree could be exciting. A tree maybe boring to someone who have been seeing it their whole lives, but to see it for the first time ever. It's easier to appreciate something you never had, and harder to appreciate something you always had.
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: Janes Groove on July 06, 2018, 10:29:21 PM
Post by: Janes Groove on July 06, 2018, 10:29:21 PM
Quote from: AnamethatstartswithE on July 06, 2018, 06:55:46 PM
Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Ah. Yes, I see. People have reported having prolonged bouts of extreme giddiness accompanied by spells of unparalleled happiness.
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: Ryuichi13 on July 07, 2018, 12:24:10 AM
Post by: Ryuichi13 on July 07, 2018, 12:24:10 AM
Quote from: AnamethatstartswithE on July 06, 2018, 06:55:46 PM
Hello,
So I've been full time for 3 weeks now. Parts of it have been stressful, there's always some initial awkwardness when I interact with people I haven't seen since my change, but all in all things are great. Lately I've been finding myself sitting at my desk and just thinking to myself "god I love being a girl." A lot. It's kind of becoming distracting. Wearing pants instead of a skirt seems to help with that, but I really like wearing skirts. Do cis people have these types of thoughts? Honestly I can totally see cis guys saying "god I love being a man," it would actually explain a lot.
It's funny, a month ago I would wear just jeans and a men's button down shirt to work, and when I got home I would put on a skirt and top, and sometimes do my makeup. Today I went to work wearing makeup, a top and a skirt, and when I got home I changed into jeans and a T-Shirt. I never used to think that I could do this, I thought that I was just a miserable person and would be like that my entire life.
Today I had to hold myself back from crying at work, I read an article about how now Delaware as well as Ohio is looking at passing one of those forcible outing laws for schools. I remembered how scared and alone and sad I felt when I was in school. I knew something was wrong, I knew I might be trans, but I also knew that there was no one on the planet that I could trust. I just can't imagine the cruelty that a person would have to have to try to pass one of these rules.
This is turning into a journal entry, anyways I'm not sure why I'm posting this, seems like a downer.
Trust me, you're not alone in having gender euphoria! I get it every time I go out and someone refers to me as "sir," "he," "him," and so on! It makes the fight I had to go through to become the man I should have been born as worthwhile. Passing is nice, but to hear someone call me "sir" is enough to make me smile for the rest of the day!
I went to my endo today, and to have everyone there refer to me as male, including the man sitting in the waiting room with a service dog who was waiting for his wife was amazing!
Enjoy your gender euphoria, you deserve it! ;D
Ryuichi
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: emma-f on July 07, 2018, 03:19:52 AM
Post by: emma-f on July 07, 2018, 03:19:52 AM
Having been full time for just a week, I totally get it myself!
Em
Em
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: AnamethatstartswithE on July 07, 2018, 06:30:57 AM
Post by: AnamethatstartswithE on July 07, 2018, 06:30:57 AM
Quote from: MegaConfused on July 06, 2018, 10:22:01 PM
I have thought that if I were to transition, I will be so excited. Just loving all the new things, the new experiences, everything about being a woman.
Walking around on a windy day, wearing a dress with a loose skirt, is one of the most amazing sensations out there. I hope you get to experience that, even if you decide that transition isn't for you.
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: TonyaW on July 07, 2018, 06:38:55 AM
Post by: TonyaW on July 07, 2018, 06:38:55 AM
I'm about a month shy of one year full time and still get those "I can't believe this is really happening" moments.
A lot better than having the other problem.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
A lot better than having the other problem.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: pamelatransuk on July 07, 2018, 07:59:43 AM
Post by: pamelatransuk on July 07, 2018, 07:59:43 AM
Quote from: AnamethatstartswithE on July 06, 2018, 06:55:46 PM
Hello,
So I've been full time for 3 weeks now. Parts of it have been stressful, there's always some initial awkwardness when I interact with people I haven't seen since my change, but all in all things are great. Lately I've been finding myself sitting at my desk and just thinking to myself "god I love being a girl." A lot. It's kind of becoming distracting.
Today I had to hold myself back from crying at work, I read an article about how now Delaware as well as Ohio is looking at passing one of those forcible outing laws for schools. I remembered how scared and alone and sad I felt when I was in school. I knew something was wrong, I knew I might be trans, but I also knew that there was no one on the planet that I could trust. I just can't imagine the cruelty that a person would have to have to try to pass one of these rules.
Hello E
So happy you are euphoric and long may it continue! Those of us not yet out publicly sure have something to you look forward to. I long for such relief and contentment.
And yes, I too remember how sad I felt at school not fitting in at all due to being trans but not knowing either the name or the consequences. I am sorry that some politicians in a couple of states in your country are considering going that cruel and bigoted road.
Hugs to you and enjoy life.
Pamela
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: AnamethatstartswithE on July 07, 2018, 01:16:15 PM
Post by: AnamethatstartswithE on July 07, 2018, 01:16:15 PM
Thank you everyone for the kind words. It's been a interesting journey, while I feel so much better now that I'm full time, it's not 100% perfect. I still get scared to go outside sometimes. This past Monday, I wore a skirt all day, I even had the mailman hand me a package while I was dressed that way. But when it came time to bring in the garbage bin I got really scared, and changed into jeans and a t shirt. I don't know why. Every time I go somewhere that I would regularly go before I'm hyper vigilant. When I went to my work cafeteria, I got one "do I know you" stare, and everyone else seemed to just accept me as a girl. The cashier even mentioned that she liked my nail polish. It's like I'm experiencing everything in the world for the first time. It's wonderful but also a little scary.
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: Nikkimn on July 07, 2018, 03:36:49 PM
Post by: Nikkimn on July 07, 2018, 03:36:49 PM
I get those I love being a woman moments all the time. It's incredible and wonderful. Enjoy it! I never felt that way as a man I always felt insecure with my gender until now. I'm also kind of obsessed with dresses I own about 12 now and I just love being me and the positive attention I get rocking one.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: I think I may have a gender euphoria problem
Post by: krobinson103 on July 07, 2018, 07:05:49 PM
Post by: krobinson103 on July 07, 2018, 07:05:49 PM
I love being me. I find every morning I look in the mirror and feel sooo happy I'm finally the same person on the inside and the outside. Its been 9 months and I've been full time for seven and it hasn't changed. Whatever the cost I fully intend to enjoy this gift of actually enjoying my life.