Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone i'm nearly 20 and want to transition from male to female. I'm putting off at the moment as while i've believed i'm trans for a while, I haven't made this clear to either family or university friends. Also I'm concerned that if I begin transition soon I may struggle to gain employment due to discrimination once I graduate.

I live in the UK which has quite strong anti-discrimination laws meaning if I were to gain employment and then transition any employer would find it very difficult to then get rid of me. Thing is i'll be 22 by that stage and i've no idea if this could  make it harder to pass? Probably not as I finished male development a couple of years ago and look about 23 already. Ideally I want to have some degree of financial independence before transitioning in the event that my family didn't accept it.  I sometimes think it would be better to go missing and transition and only tell my family after transitioning, though most would not advise that.

Also, out of curiosity did anyone shrink on HRT?  There seems to be mixed opinion on this. I'm 5'11.5, so not so tall it would be a major issue but there is only about 1/70 cis women taller than me so it would be great if I got a bit smaller.

Hoping some people can draw on their experiences and offer me some advice.

Thanks everyone :)

I'm having roughly the same issue at the moment, I'm studying Musical theatre/Acting. And I have no idea if I should wait till after I get a foot in the door of the industry or not. I got some good advice from a trans actor, he said that there no point in putting off what you want to do in life because of job aspects, and that your life is much more than just your career. So that and other advice he gave me has made me think that the sooner I start the processes and trust my gut feelings the easier it will be in the future. I hope that can help in some way?

Financial independence is a good reason to put off transitioning for a while.  If you are dependent on your parents, and there is a risk that they may disown you, then becoming independent should be a priority.

On the other hand, university is a great place to experiment with your presentation.  University people tend to be accepting, and students are usually encouraged to explore their identities.

The sooner you start on HRT, the better your results will be.  That's not to say that delaying is inevitably a disaster.  I started HRT at 62, and my results are respectable.

Hi NCLDH
I wish I could go back to your age and start I'm 29 and just started
Starting younger can be better as male puberty typicly goes to around age 25
I hope that it's TRUE about height loss I'm same height as you
I you could look into puberty blockers but until you make your decision but I dont know how effective they would be at 22

I have found it better to be myself from the start rather than to try to change people's perceptions latter.

I don't think it makes much difference if you take the HRT or any of this in the middle of a course but you will want to change your name before you graduate, because I hear some universities make it very difficult or impossible to re-issue degree, MA or PhD certificates under changed names after you finish.

Shrinking on HRT... I actually grew an inch lol.. even with thinning bones.

Why not transition WHILE in college & before you have an established work history?  That is what I did :)

Quote from: Doreen on July 12, 2018, 03:22:41 PM
Shrinking on HRT... I actually grew an inch lol.. even with thinning bones.

Why not transition WHILE in college & before you have an established work history?  That is what I did :)

I think the main thing that puts me off this, is how people on my course could react. Whereas at least after university I can start afresh without the pre-judgement of been seen as a man. Also its probably going to be 8 months before I can get an appointment at a gender identity clinic.

Quote from: Doreen on July 12, 2018, 03:22:41 PM
Shrinking on HRT... I actually grew an inch lol.. even with thinning bones.

Why not transition WHILE in college & before you have an established work history?  That is what I did :)

So does that mean you went from presenting male to presenting female while in college? How well did that work for you?

I don't think there is a best time to start, do it when you are ready.

I'm also in the UK and the process via the NHS is very slow and it's expensive if you go private. In addition to that there are changes from HRT that become less likely with age. I would advise you to contact your GP and ask for a referral to a GIC, ideally one you will easily be able to access after Uni. There will be a waiting list and it's likely to be a year or more. There's no risk to this, if you change your mind you can cancel the appointment and you don't need to tell anyone other than your GP.

If you can afford it I would have a chat with a gender therapist.

Employment is a bit tricky as you didn't say which sector you are interested in. I started to transition at 41, with a well-established work history and qualifications and providing references and certificates is going to be a challenge. Sectors such as IT and Finance are considered to be some of the most accepting, try to find work in a city if possible. I would guess acting and the arts is good too. I've found that with a positive attitude and some resilience finding work is not a problem so I tend not to worry about work and money to much.

BTW, you don't have to present as male or female regardless of what the NHS push, you can experiment and make changes as you will. Perhaps try small changes and see how people react. I started carrying a gender appropriate bag and other small changes long before I was out at work.