Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone.  I've experienced every kind of Mansplaining but last night was the first time I've ever seen it as a type of pack behavior among guys. So yesterday evening my grandpa happened to be at our house. Pretty much just an average evening until I asked Tyler to put the vacuum in my trunk so I could take it to the service center today. Instead of just doing what I asked he said " how did you break the vacuum"? Loud enough for my dad to hear so then he asks me what was wrong with the vacuum. I told him it wasn't picking up very well. He says " that vacuum cost as much as a used car and it's less than 2 years old. There shouldn't be any problems with it. What have you been doing to it"?? My first reaction was to tell him only a total klewdge would pay that much for something that should cost 100 bucks at the most, but actually saying that to him would not have been smart. I told him I hadn't done anything with it, well except for taking it outside and vacuuming all the leaves off the front lawn a few times. He told me no one liked a little smart ass and to go get it and bring it to him.

Unfortunately for me he found the roller thing totally covered and wrapped with my hair. So thus starts the Mansplaining and lecturing. And Tyler, Tristan and my grandfather ALL join in. Of all the times not to have any cyanide capsules on hand! How was I supposed to know to check the roller thing? It's supposed to suck the hair up, not wrap it around the stupid roller!  So finally the Mansplaining is starting to wind down after my dad had cut a pile of hair off the stupid roller and told me like five times to check it from now on. Then I swear if Tyler didnt pull the bag out which was pretty full. That started a whole new round of Mansplaining about not letting the bag get too full. I did point out that it wasn't totally full but I got mansplained about changing it when it was just half full, blah, blah.

So then my dad started Mansplaining that it was important to "maintain" the vacuum just like it was important to clean the lint thing on the dryer or clean the filter in the dishwasher. Filter in the dishwasher? ?? I didn't say that of course but I guess the look on my face said it for me. My dad said " please tell me you're cleaning the filter in the dishwasher Julia". Tyler said he was totally sure I probably wasn't. I never knew there was a filter in a dishwasher. My dad swears he showed me where it was and how to take it out and clean it right after they installed it. But if he did I totally don't remember it. I do remember my dad pointing out all the different settings and features right after we got it but he went on and on to the point I was so totally bored I thought about sticking my hand in the garbage disposal and turning it on just to end the boredom. So I was bound to forget some of what he was going on about. So he immediately goes into the kitchen followed by the other 3 guys and pulls out the dishwasher filter.  Yeah, ok, it was NASTY. I had never cleaned it because I didn't know it was there. All four of them let out an actual gasp and looked at me like I had just farted loudly in the middle of someone's wedding vows. Then my grandpa said " well what did you expect? Mixing females with machinery is just asking for disaster" OMG! Talk about Mansplaining, scolding and lecturing!  I felt like a baby gazelle surrounded by a pack of lions. I've never experienced Mansplaining as a group activity before. What an unpleasant experience! 

Of course I have Tyler's big mouth to thank for the whole thing. I owe him a batch of laxative brownies. Right after I brush my dog's teeth with his toothbrush.

I'm amazed at how a team of such knowledgeable, able men haven't thought to perhaps chip in with the household duties and maybe give the filter a quick rinse or give the vacuum a little service.  This is 2018 and not 1950!!!

Quote from: Charlotte F on August 24, 2018, 08:07:37 AM
I'm amazed at how a team of such knowledgeable, able men haven't thought to perhaps chip in with the household duties and maybe give the filter a quick rinse or give the vacuum a little service.  This is 2018 and not 1950!!!

My dad's thinking about this stuff is that I need to learn how to do simple things as far as home maintenance as he calls it. The guys help with the housework? HA! Not likely. When Tristan first moved in he would do a few things. He would help me clean up the kitchen after dinner, he would vacuum sometimes and even sort of clean our bathroom. But then Tyler started telling him he was " pussy whipped". After which he pretty much stopped doing any of the inside stuff around the house.

Quote from: Julia1996 on August 24, 2018, 08:18:12 AM
The guys help with the housework? HA! Not likely. When Tristan first moved in he would do a few things. He would help me clean up the kitchen after dinner, he would vacuum sometimes and even sort of clean our bathroom. But then Tyler started telling him he was " pussy whipped". After which he pretty much stopped doing any of the inside stuff around the house.

Haha! that's the worst part of pack behaviour!!!  I think your problem is you are well and truly outnumbered in that house!

I love the idea of four people making one person do all the chores and then complaining that they're doing it wrong >_>.

I am sorry but manspaining! I love it. It sounds so official and proper. I've always called it bitchin' and your manspaining almost made me double over with laughter.

Your situation sucks. Welcome to unfiltered, unadulterated womanhood.

Speaking of which I have to vacuum, do laundry, dished, and dust. I think I'm gonna check the roller on the vacuum and the dishwasher filter. I totally forgot to check them and it's been about 4 months. :(

Here ya go Julia! Youtube is your friend (youtube.com/watch?v=yDvaiNNYdAI)!

          My G5 Kirby (what else can it be?)  is over 20 years old, made completely of metal (important parts anyway) and totally "rebuildable", right down to the bearings in the armature. Used to sell and fix them as a youngin in my grandparent's shop in Iowa (farm country) and point is always thought of it as a "man's vacuum" . . .

To be put on man's maintenance schedule right along-side the cars and front yard!

(ps: never saw a "leaf attachment"? Something new? )

Quote from: Lucca on August 24, 2018, 08:44:05 AM
I love the idea of four people making one person do all the chores and then complaining that they're doing it wrong >_>.

Thankfully my grandpa doesn't live with us. He is my grandma's problem. He just happened to be at our house last night when this incident happened. But yes, Tyler, Tristan, and my dad will ALL try to mansplain any number of things to me. It doesn't matter if it happens to be something I know more about.  Tyler makes sure to mansplain to keep my clippers oiled EVERY single time I cut his hair and not to ever use my hair shears to cut anything but hair and be careful not to drop them or they could get out of alignment. Yeah, thanks Mr.Wizard, I only use scissors and clippers every day at work. And even more astounding is the fact that both Tyler and Tristan have tried to mansplain things about cooking to me a few times. COOKING!  This from 2 people who need a recipie to make a bowl of cereal!

Quote from: Kiera on August 24, 2018, 08:53:03 AM
Here ya go Julia! Youtube is your friend (youtube.com/watch?v=yDvaiNNYdAI)!

          My G5 Kirby (what else can it be?)  is over 20 years old, made completely of metal (important parts anyway) and totally "rebuildable", right down to the bearings in the armature. Used to sell and fix them as a youngin in my grandparent's shop in Iowa (farm country) and point is always thought of it as a "man's vacuum" . . .

To be put on man's maintenance schedule right along-side the cars and front yard!

(ps: never saw a "leaf attachment"? Something new? )

Oh thanks. I never thought about YouTube having clips of how to maintain your Kirby. Hmm, maybe they have some demos on how to use all those attachments. I know how to put on the hose but I have no clue how to use the boxes of other stuff that wash floors and all that. The guy did show how to use all that stuff during the demo but I wasn't paying attention. Actually I was playing on my phone to keep from dying of complete boredom!

Quote from: gingerViktorKay on August 24, 2018, 08:46:50 AM
I am sorry but manspaining! I love it. It sounds so official and proper. I've always called it bitchin' and your manspaining almost made me double over with laughter.

Your situation sucks. Welcome to unfiltered, unadulterated womanhood.

Speaking of which I have to vacuum, do laundry, dished, and dust. I think I'm gonna check the roller on the vacuum and the dishwasher filter. I totally forgot to check them and it's been about 4 months. :(

Oh yeah, Mansplaining.  I had never heard that term before I joined this site. The first time someone used it, it cracked me up too. Lol

Julia you do realise this could all be the calm before the storm, watch out for the Vacuum cleaner Matinenenace PowerPoint presentation and the compulsory 50 question multiple choice test about said presentation  ;D...they have all the answers till you put a vacuum cleaner in there hands IQ's drop by 40 points...puts some of them in the negative...just kidding 

Quote from: LizK on August 24, 2018, 09:29:19 AM
Julia you do realise this could all be the calm before the storm, watch out for the Vacuum cleaner Matinenenace PowerPoint presentation and the compulsory 50 question multiple choice test about said presentation  ;D...they have all the answers till you put a vacuum cleaner in there hands IQ's drop by 40 points...puts some of them in the negative...just kidding

I know exactly what you mean! When the guy demonstrated that vacuum I was totally bored and wanted to be anyplace else. My dad and Tyler on the other hand thought the vacuum and the multitudes if attachments that went on it were the coolest thing. Stupid me, I remember thinking to myself that if my dad bought the thing at least it would interest he and Tyler in vacuuming. Yeah, no. Right after my dad bought it I was doing housework and I asked Tyler if he wanted to vacuum. He looked at me like I had lost my mind and asked why I thought he would ever want to vacuum. I told him he had thought the stupid vacuum was so cool I thought he might like to use it. He said no he would not and that HE didn't vacuum. That was MY job. Despite thinking it was cool and spending a small fortune on it I don't think my dad has ever actually used that vacuum either.

I never understood why men will mow the lawn but not vacuum. Aren't they basically the same thing?

Quote from: gingerViktorKay on August 24, 2018, 09:49:37 AM
I never understood why men will mow the lawn but not vacuum. Aren't they basically the same thing?

I think they are pretty close but guys don't seem to think so. More than once Tyler has said " be glad you only have to vacuum. Try mowing the lawn sometime"! 

Maybe you should tell the guys that you're just a helpless female who has a hard time understanding complicated mechanical devices, so the right thing to do would be for THEM to get off their butts and ASSUME ALL VACUUMING DUTIES around the house.  They're SUCH EXPERTS that they'll be sure to do a great job and keep that vacuum cleaner running at peak efficiency!

As they busily vacuum the carpets, you can stroll along beside them, batting your eyelashes fetchingly, while they further explain the nuances of advanced vacuum cleaner technology . . .

Quote from: itsApril on August 24, 2018, 01:07:59 PM
Maybe you should tell the guys that you're just a helpless female who has a hard time understanding complicated mechanical devices, so the right thing to do would be for THEM to get off their butts and ASSUME ALL VACUUMING DUTIES around the house.  They're SUCH EXPERTS that they'll be sure to do a great job and keep that vacuum cleaner running at peak efficiency!

As they busily vacuum the carpets, you can stroll along beside them, batting your eyelashes fetchingly, while they further explain the nuances of advanced vacuum cleaner technology . . .

LOL love it

Quote from: itsApril on August 24, 2018, 01:07:59 PM
Maybe you should tell the guys that you're just a helpless female who has a hard time understanding complicated mechanical devices, so the right thing to do would be for THEM to get off their butts and ASSUME ALL VACUUMING DUTIES around the house.  They're SUCH EXPERTS that they'll be sure to do a great job and keep that vacuum cleaner running at peak efficiency!

As they busily vacuum the carpets, you can stroll along beside them, batting your eyelashes fetchingly, while they further explain the nuances of advanced vacuum cleaner technology . . .

That's hilarious. 😂  Yeah, vacuuming gives me the vapors. Lol

Sounds like a lot of testosterone in one room... Lol

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That is just one of the many reasons we got rid of every shred of carpet from the house. Rugs are so much easier to maintain, and sweeping does not cover a roller with hair.

So the guys decide which one will mow the lawn once every week or two during the growing season. BFD! If they don't lift a finger to help out around the house, what good are they? Tell then you'll use the equipment as long as they man up and fix the stuff when they need a real man's attention. Then tell them that if they refuse to man up, they ain't real men.

I'm so glad you're back. Haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Quote from: Julia1996 on August 24, 2018, 07:44:06 AM
... I asked Tyler to put the vacuum in my trunk so I could take it to the service center ...

That was a mistake.  I'm not sure which part was the mistake, wanting to take it to a service center, telling Tyler or both.

Your menfolk are being unreasonable, though.  If they expect you to do the traditional women's jobs like vacuuming and dishwashing, THEY should do the traditional men's jobs of fixing and maintaining the equipment.  If you let them get away with it, they'll expect you to fix and maintain your car as well as drive it.

Next time something breaks down and they expect you to fix it or complain that you didn't maintain it properly, repeat what your grandpa said:
"Well what did you expect?  Mixing females with machinery is just asking for disaster."

Quote from: MaryT on August 25, 2018, 03:21:36 PM
That was a mistake.  I'm not sure which part was the mistake, wanting to take it to a service center, telling Tyler or both.

Your menfolk are being unreasonable, though.  If they expect you to do the traditional women's jobs like vacuuming and dishwashing, THEY should do the traditional men's jobs of fixing and maintaining the equipment.  If you let them get away with it, they'll expect you to fix and maintain your car as well as drive it.

Next time something breaks down and they expect you to fix it or complain that you didn't maintain it properly, repeat what your grandpa said:
"Well what did you expect?  Mixing females with machinery is just asking for disaster."

That's very unlikely. I'm not allowed to do anything but drive my car because of one tiny mistake I made a couple of years ago that could have happened to anyone.  I was driving and my car wasn't overheating but the temperature light kept coming on. I called my dad and he told me to come home because he probably needed to add water to it. Well I was like 5 minutes from the mall and I wanted to go shopping, not go all the way back home so I pulled into a store and bought some water to put in it. I had seen my dad and Tyler add water before and it seemed simple enough so I added the water and went on my way. I didn't get far before the car started acting really weird so I ended up having to call my dad anyway. Well....it turns out I added the water to the transmission stuff thing and evidently that causes a big problem. It cost my dad a lot to have it fixed and he told me the next time I got an idea to do him a favor and run like hell from it. Tyler had fun teasing me about it for a month. So after that I don't do anything to my car but drive it. I've only put gas in it a few times. My dad or Tyler puts gas in it and they do everything else that needs done to it. Tyler even cleans and washes it. Another of his weird habits is that as much of a slob as he is around the house he is totally anal and OCD about keeping his car clean and detailed. I would vacuum inside my car maybe a couple times a year. If it looked really dirty I would run it through a carwash. But polish chrome, scrub tires and do armor all all over inside like Tyler does. ..yeah, NEVER! It bothered him so much that my car was dirty that he started washing and detailing it when he does his. Sometimes his weird OCD habits can be beneficial. Lol

What a great discussion Julia, I can so relate to everything you've said, called me stupid but I never realized a dishwasher had a filter, I couldn't find it, so when hubby was at work yesterday I looked for the booklet with the operating instructions, read it and showed me where the filter was, at the bottom of the dishwasher, I took it out and gosh it was completely clogged, yet it was working fine, so I cleared it and said absolutely nothing to hubby lol.
If I hadn't found it, then a few months from now if it stopped working I know exactly what hubby would say  ''oh gosh Pauline luv you haven't been cleaning filter sweetie'' when it comes to technical stuff hubby thinks I'm clueless, yes he does mow the lawn and fixes everything, but he never touches a vacuum and never does dusting or polishing, he does expect me to do the traditional women's jobs but I suppose he does all the man stuff, as for cars, he'd never never let me near car maintenance in a million years, according to hubby, somethings are best left to a man to work out.

 Had the same dishwasher at our house for 20 years and it worked just fine without ever cleaning a filter that I had no idea was there, much less needed to be cleaned.

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I checked the roller on the vacuum today. I guess I have to hold my head low. I probably would have gotten some mansplaining. 
:icon_blahblah:

I totally knew about the roller and hair.  We had a central vacuum that the roller was not powered, worked only on the suction. That thing needed to be cleaned just about every use.

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So dishwashers have filters...who knew...I didn't for the first 2 years we had one...and I will admit that wasn't until recently that I did  :laugh:
I once used a hacksaw to "fix" the rear wheel axel on my bike because when I finally managed put it back together, there was too much of the axel shaft stuck out on one side, so I sawed it off and now it matched the other side...gee I just wanted it to look nice,  :laugh: 
Liz

My roommate tried to get me to clean the common area because I "suggested getting a cleaning service" 2 or 3 MONTHS prior... He came to me asking to either help clean or chip in money for the service.. Well I was getting ready to move and lived in filth thanks to the 3rd roommate.. When I mentioned my problems with how messy the other 3rd rommate was..this roomates response now was "well he's a good guy, right?". I just looked at him dumbfounded... I felt bad because he was asking me for help but I'm sorry, I can't clean up after a slob! Nope, especially not a roommate I barely even know... [emoji23]

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Quote from: Allison S on August 26, 2018, 06:23:14 AM
My roommate tried to get me to clean the common area because I "suggested getting a cleaning service" 2 or 3 MONTHS prior... He came to me asking to either help clean or chip in money for the service.. Well I was getting ready to move and lived in filth thanks to the 3rd roommate.. When I mentioned my problems with how messy the other 3rd rommate was..this roomates response now was "well he's a good guy, right?". I just looked at him dumbfounded... I felt bad because he was asking me for help but I'm sorry, I can't clean up after a slob! Nope, especially not a roommate I barely even know... [emoji23]

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According to my dad Tyler is such a slob because of me. I get so annoyed at the awful totally half ass job he does when he actually would do something that I would just do it myself. My dad said Tyler knew that would happen and did a sorry ass job on purpose and that I was a sucker to fall for it. He also told me I gave in too easily when Tyler got his pitiful tone of voice and flashed the sad puppy eyes and ended up doing what he was supposed to have done for him.  I'm afraid I've done Tyler's future wife or girlfriend a disservice. I only hope she can cook. Tyler is totally spoiled with homemade food. He turns his nose up at most frozen or prepackaged food now. Once a girl he was dating made him dinner and served him instant mashed potatoes and served him store bought cookies for dessert. The way he went on about that you would have thought she served him a plate steaming dog doo doo. All I can say to the future woman in his life is "I am really sorry"!

Quote from: gingerViktorKay on August 25, 2018, 08:47:11 PM
I checked the roller on the vacuum today. I guess I have to hold my head low. I probably would have gotten some mansplaining. 
:icon_blahblah:

Lucky you checked the vacuum roller, I received a very large dose of mansplaining on Saturday morning, my brother emailed me flight boarding passes to print, no problem, received the email then printed off 1 pass, when I started to print off the 2nd pass the paper twisted and got stuck in the printer, so I removed the damage paper and replaced it with new fresh paper, then press PRINT, the printer wouldn't work, ink cartridges looked ok, I spent nearly 1 hour pressing PRINT and it refused to print, OMG when I started to panic I just gave up, ARGHHH!!! Gosh is the printer broke, I tried switching off and restarting but it was still dead.

Then hubby arrived home and told him what happen, he gave a few right clicks with the computer mouse and the printer came back to life, then with had a big smirk he says ''there's nothing wrong with the printer Pauline sweetie'' bla bla bla, I got a big dose of mansplaining, when the paper got stuck the printer it was in a ''printing session'' and when the bad paper was removed and replaced by good paper it was still frozen in the previous ''printing session'' so to get it working again, that session has to be cancelled and a new session started, very simple Pauline, it only takes a very seconds, WELL HOW THE HELL WAS I TO KNOW THAT and I still don't understand it. My brother called by on Saturday afternoon to collect his boarding passes, hubby couldn't resist telling him what happen earlier, then my brother started mansplaining the exact conversation my husband had with me earlier, hubby and brother burst out laughing, hubby is still teasing me about it, ''leave the complicated technology to guys who understand it Pauline, good girl'' I know he's only teasing, but I've never felt so foolish and silly, well at least I didn't break the printer and it's still working, maybe that why they can laugh about it, mansplaining ARGHHH!!!!!

Quote from: Julia1996 on August 26, 2018, 07:44:36 AM
According to my dad Tyler is such a slob because of me. I get so annoyed at the awful totally half ass job he does when he actually would do something that I would just do it myself. My dad said Tyler knew that would happen and did a sorry ass job on purpose and that I was a sucker to fall for it. He also told me I gave in too easily when Tyler got his pitiful tone of voice and flashed the sad puppy eyes and ended up doing what he was supposed to have done for him.  I'm afraid I've done Tyler's future wife or girlfriend a disservice. I only hope she can cook. Tyler is totally spoiled with homemade food. He turns his nose up at most frozen or prepackaged food now. Once a girl he was dating made him dinner and served him instant mashed potatoes and served him store bought cookies for dessert. The way he went on about that you would have thought she served him a plate steaming dog doo doo. All I can say to the future woman in his life is "I am really sorry"!

If Tyler wants someone to do everything for him, he needs to start dating girls that ain't dumber than a brick. As long as he keeps looking for braindead girls, he won't find one that can cook and clean the way he wants. And, as long as he is in his present situation, you are stuck with him.

Quote from: gingerViktorKay on August 24, 2018, 09:49:37 AM
I never understood why men will mow the lawn but not vacuum. Aren't they basically the same thing?

I totally agree, it is basically the same thing, I'm now married to my husband 8 years and in all that time I've never seen him vacuum, we have a motor powered lawnmower which he does use to mow the lawn and other power tools, drills and stuff, but never touches vacuum, I guess it's not a ''guy thing'' he is a typical alpha male guy and just doesn't want to be seen with a vacuum around the house, too much associated with housework, cleaning etc, that's the only reason I can think of why, in our 8 years of marriage I've always done the vacuum, laundry ironing, cooking, cleaning, dusting etc hubby will do anything, but not housework, vacuum or dusting.