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Title: My Story
Post by: danielleplatz on August 29, 2018, 03:15:23 AM
Post by: danielleplatz on August 29, 2018, 03:15:23 AM
My Introduction
Hi Everyone, I´m Danielle and this is my story so far!
Born in 1975 my earliest memory about relating somehow to the other gender was around age 4.
My mother had an aunt which we were visiting and she was very progressive for her time in Catholic Southern Germany end of the Seventies. When we entered her house a boy in girl mode was leaving my mother´s aunt place and I was asking my mother what this boy was doing. She answered he wants to become a girl. It seems that my mother´s aunt was counselling her on a private voluntary basis. Later that day or a couple of days later, I mentioned to my mom that I would like to do the same as this boy that I felt more like a girl.
At the same time in Kindergarten I felt very awkward connecting with other children my age and at one point was taken out of Kindergarten for the last year before school. My parent took me out because I was mocked by the other boys and my parents felt that the supervisors couldn´t care less.
In my early school years between 1982 and 1985 my social interactions improved and I was feeling confident enough as a boy. Then starting high school I felt becoming an outsider again, far far away form the "hip circle" of the class. Then one evening in 1986 I watched with my parents the movie "Second Serve" the story of Renee Richards and become excited about the possibility of changing gender from boy to girl again. Alone in my bed at night I started fantasizing how it would be to be away from class for half a year and come back as a girl and start from new and get the boys somehow "attracted" to me. During that time I also had the most intense period of actual cross-dressing in my life, when I started putting on the underwear of my mom and using her make-up when they were out in the evening. I´m quite sure that they noticed, but nobody said anything about it.
At the beginning of puberty it became also clear that I could not hit it with the girls and I became rather depressed by that. And then with all this development of female sexual characteristics happening around me I dreamt of having such a body myself. This was combined with thinking about how it would be to be in love with one of my best friends. Later in puberty I then realized that there were girls who fell in love with me and I with them and so I became very eager to comply with the perceived role of my assigned gender. During this period of age from 16 to 22 I was becoming really happy with myself as a boy and all other feelings about switching gender or not fitting in subsided. Then in 1998 I had a real crush on one special girl for me and got rejected. This made me question a lot in my life again. Coincidently in that year Dana International won the Europeans Song Contest and was everywhere in the news for some weeks and so the topic of transsexualism came back to me after many years. Starting to surf the internet at the same time this really opened the floodgates for me. I searched all the information available at that time for how to transition, the possibility of taking hormones and so on. I really got fixed on the topic. From that period of time 20 years ago, I´ve been thinking about myself as becoming female nearly every day. Interestingly as soon as this period started I was not able to have a real relationship with a girl for nearly 7 years. However I was seeking a relationship to a woman, because in this kind of bipolar thinking I was experiencing I also saw this as an exit to my gender dysphoria. If I would be only able to find the right woman; I would be able to live as a real man. Then I thought I found this woman, but it was very one-sided and she couldn´t feel the same for me. This was in 2004 and that´s when for the very first time I wanted to start transition right away. Thinking about a plan very quickly all the reasons why it would not work kicked in. Not enough money, how would my career develop, what would my parents think and so on. However from this point in time I always held this option as a real alternative in the back of my mind.
One year later I entered a relation ship with a girl that lasted nearly two years and when things started going into the wrong direction I thought about transitioning again and started experimenting with birth control pills for the first time in 2007. But it took me only 2-3 days to stop that again and feel regrets along the lines of instead thinking about becoming female I just should be and behave like a real male. Shortly afterwards I met my future wife and we entered into an earnest relationship within just a few months. This I really perceived as the exit door to my gender dysphoria. Now I´ve found the right woman, If I just would do everything fast everything would become good and I would find my peace. Half a year later I proposed marriage, we married in 2009 and 2010 our son was born. 2012 our first daughter and 2015 our third child. Now during all those years whenever life at work or in family became stressful I thought about transitioning as the way out. And as you know the urge to transition became more and more intense over the years.
By now 20 years after these feelings really kicked in and have stayed with me since then I want to do it for good, I want to become the woman I always wanted to be. So this will be the start of my new journey and I know that these ressources and this group of people who are on the same trip and have even successfully "completed" it, will help me achieving this dream!
Thank you!
Hi Everyone, I´m Danielle and this is my story so far!
Born in 1975 my earliest memory about relating somehow to the other gender was around age 4.
My mother had an aunt which we were visiting and she was very progressive for her time in Catholic Southern Germany end of the Seventies. When we entered her house a boy in girl mode was leaving my mother´s aunt place and I was asking my mother what this boy was doing. She answered he wants to become a girl. It seems that my mother´s aunt was counselling her on a private voluntary basis. Later that day or a couple of days later, I mentioned to my mom that I would like to do the same as this boy that I felt more like a girl.
At the same time in Kindergarten I felt very awkward connecting with other children my age and at one point was taken out of Kindergarten for the last year before school. My parent took me out because I was mocked by the other boys and my parents felt that the supervisors couldn´t care less.
In my early school years between 1982 and 1985 my social interactions improved and I was feeling confident enough as a boy. Then starting high school I felt becoming an outsider again, far far away form the "hip circle" of the class. Then one evening in 1986 I watched with my parents the movie "Second Serve" the story of Renee Richards and become excited about the possibility of changing gender from boy to girl again. Alone in my bed at night I started fantasizing how it would be to be away from class for half a year and come back as a girl and start from new and get the boys somehow "attracted" to me. During that time I also had the most intense period of actual cross-dressing in my life, when I started putting on the underwear of my mom and using her make-up when they were out in the evening. I´m quite sure that they noticed, but nobody said anything about it.
At the beginning of puberty it became also clear that I could not hit it with the girls and I became rather depressed by that. And then with all this development of female sexual characteristics happening around me I dreamt of having such a body myself. This was combined with thinking about how it would be to be in love with one of my best friends. Later in puberty I then realized that there were girls who fell in love with me and I with them and so I became very eager to comply with the perceived role of my assigned gender. During this period of age from 16 to 22 I was becoming really happy with myself as a boy and all other feelings about switching gender or not fitting in subsided. Then in 1998 I had a real crush on one special girl for me and got rejected. This made me question a lot in my life again. Coincidently in that year Dana International won the Europeans Song Contest and was everywhere in the news for some weeks and so the topic of transsexualism came back to me after many years. Starting to surf the internet at the same time this really opened the floodgates for me. I searched all the information available at that time for how to transition, the possibility of taking hormones and so on. I really got fixed on the topic. From that period of time 20 years ago, I´ve been thinking about myself as becoming female nearly every day. Interestingly as soon as this period started I was not able to have a real relationship with a girl for nearly 7 years. However I was seeking a relationship to a woman, because in this kind of bipolar thinking I was experiencing I also saw this as an exit to my gender dysphoria. If I would be only able to find the right woman; I would be able to live as a real man. Then I thought I found this woman, but it was very one-sided and she couldn´t feel the same for me. This was in 2004 and that´s when for the very first time I wanted to start transition right away. Thinking about a plan very quickly all the reasons why it would not work kicked in. Not enough money, how would my career develop, what would my parents think and so on. However from this point in time I always held this option as a real alternative in the back of my mind.
One year later I entered a relation ship with a girl that lasted nearly two years and when things started going into the wrong direction I thought about transitioning again and started experimenting with birth control pills for the first time in 2007. But it took me only 2-3 days to stop that again and feel regrets along the lines of instead thinking about becoming female I just should be and behave like a real male. Shortly afterwards I met my future wife and we entered into an earnest relationship within just a few months. This I really perceived as the exit door to my gender dysphoria. Now I´ve found the right woman, If I just would do everything fast everything would become good and I would find my peace. Half a year later I proposed marriage, we married in 2009 and 2010 our son was born. 2012 our first daughter and 2015 our third child. Now during all those years whenever life at work or in family became stressful I thought about transitioning as the way out. And as you know the urge to transition became more and more intense over the years.
By now 20 years after these feelings really kicked in and have stayed with me since then I want to do it for good, I want to become the woman I always wanted to be. So this will be the start of my new journey and I know that these ressources and this group of people who are on the same trip and have even successfully "completed" it, will help me achieving this dream!
Thank you!
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on August 29, 2018, 05:55:13 AM
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on August 29, 2018, 05:55:13 AM
After the formal welcome I would like to chat.
Kind regards, Kirsten[emoji214]
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Kind regards, Kirsten[emoji214]
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: steph2.0 on August 29, 2018, 06:28:20 AM
Post by: steph2.0 on August 29, 2018, 06:28:20 AM
Hi Danielle,
I see @KathyLauren officially welcomed you on the "Passing" thread, but let me add my welcome as well. While all of our lives are unique, it's a safe bet that everyone here will find a little of themselves in your introduction. I certainly did. You've come to the right place for answers and support. We're glad you're here.
Stephanie
I see @KathyLauren officially welcomed you on the "Passing" thread, but let me add my welcome as well. While all of our lives are unique, it's a safe bet that everyone here will find a little of themselves in your introduction. I certainly did. You've come to the right place for answers and support. We're glad you're here.
Stephanie
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on August 29, 2018, 06:45:03 AM
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on August 29, 2018, 06:45:03 AM
Hi again Danielle Katz,
I can relate to your story of romance with a woman extinguishes the angst of not being female yourself ( at least for a while). Then the issue of transitioning when deeply entrenched in family responsibility.
That is exactly what my life is like.
I would love to hear how you balance family and dysphoria I know it can be a tough gig. Please pass on any good tips for keeping the whole show on the road.
Kindest regards, Kirsten.
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
I can relate to your story of romance with a woman extinguishes the angst of not being female yourself ( at least for a while). Then the issue of transitioning when deeply entrenched in family responsibility.
That is exactly what my life is like.
I would love to hear how you balance family and dysphoria I know it can be a tough gig. Please pass on any good tips for keeping the whole show on the road.
Kindest regards, Kirsten.
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: danielleplatz on August 29, 2018, 07:03:41 AM
Post by: danielleplatz on August 29, 2018, 07:03:41 AM
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on August 29, 2018, 05:55:13 AM
After the formal welcome I would to chat.
Kind regards, Kirsten[emoji214]
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
I´m so new here, I´m not aware of the chat function yet.
And PM doesn´t, because of not enough posts...
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on August 29, 2018, 07:07:37 AM
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on August 29, 2018, 07:07:37 AM
Quote from: danielleplatz on August 29, 2018, 07:03:41 AMI guess I meant on the board or PM. Just interested in ways of balancing family and being trans.
I´m so new here, I´m not aware of the chat function yet.
And PM doesn´t, because of not enough posts...
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: Karen on August 29, 2018, 07:35:43 AM
Post by: Karen on August 29, 2018, 07:35:43 AM
Welcome! I can definitely relate to elements of your journey. While the intensity of my dysphoria has been in recent years, it has been there may entire life tied to a feeling of being different and not fitting in. You have friends here and look forward to working through questions and helping support.
Karen
Karen
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: danielleplatz on August 29, 2018, 07:52:48 AM
Post by: danielleplatz on August 29, 2018, 07:52:48 AM
@ Kristin:
I´m not sure; if I´m in a position to give advice yet, but I promise to keep you updatedon my progress figuring this out!
@ Karen and Steph2.0: Thank you very much for our warm welcome! I really appreciate it!!
I´m not sure; if I´m in a position to give advice yet, but I promise to keep you updatedon my progress figuring this out!
@ Karen and Steph2.0: Thank you very much for our warm welcome! I really appreciate it!!
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: Northern Star Girl on August 29, 2018, 12:58:22 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on August 29, 2018, 12:58:22 PM
Quote from: danielleplatz on August 29, 2018, 07:52:48 AM
@ Kristin:
I´m not sure; if I´m in a position to give advice yet, but I promise to keep you updatedon my progress figuring this out!
@ Karen and Steph2.0: Thank you very much for our warm welcome! I really appreciate it!!
@danielleplatz
Dear Danielle:
ahhhh.... another Danielle on the Forums, :) it is great to meet you.
I see that you were Officially Welcomed as a new member on Susan's Place on August 25th by our lovely member @KathyLauren and also by me on the "Passing" thread that you first posted on when you posted for the very first time.
Thank you for following the LINK that we provided to come here to the Introductions Forum.
Now that you have shared your detailed, interesting and informative Introduction post, there will be a lot of members that will now know of your arrival here on the Forums. As a result you should get more involvement and discussion with any concerns, questions, and what you shared here with your posting.
You will most likely find that you will make some like-minded friends here as well as you continue to be involved with the various threads and posts.
Thank you again for signing up to be a member of Susan's Place, you will find this a friendly, safe and fun place to be. As a reminder, please be certain to look over the informative and important LINKS that were included in the original Welcome Message that KathyLauren gave to you on the other thread.... lots of information there that will help you to navigate around the Forums and to best benefit from this site. Pay particular close attention to the LINKS IN RED which have answers to many questions that new members may have.
Best wishes, and again, Welcome to Susan's Place
Danielle (the Alaskan one)
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: V M on August 29, 2018, 08:07:19 PM
Post by: V M on August 29, 2018, 08:07:19 PM
Hi danielleplatz :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: Danielle Rose Fox on September 01, 2018, 07:33:21 PM
Post by: Danielle Rose Fox on September 01, 2018, 07:33:21 PM
Hi Danielle Platz,
Lol, and yet another Danielle:) so I see you are from southern Germany and have very good English. Wilkomen und guten tag! Actually Guten Naben as it is almost 2030hr here in the Midwesy of the US. I am happy to see members from other countries and hope to learn how it is with them in their country. I am a crossdresser and as I believe I am Transgender also I am now in counseling for this. I am married with 3 stepchildren all grown 2 out of college and 1 a sophomore in college. I also have 2 of my own children and their families now with 4 grandchildren and 2 brothers and their families. I hope to have a conversation via posts and maybe PM once we both are able to get that feature. TTFN <3
Danielle
Lol, and yet another Danielle:) so I see you are from southern Germany and have very good English. Wilkomen und guten tag! Actually Guten Naben as it is almost 2030hr here in the Midwesy of the US. I am happy to see members from other countries and hope to learn how it is with them in their country. I am a crossdresser and as I believe I am Transgender also I am now in counseling for this. I am married with 3 stepchildren all grown 2 out of college and 1 a sophomore in college. I also have 2 of my own children and their families now with 4 grandchildren and 2 brothers and their families. I hope to have a conversation via posts and maybe PM once we both are able to get that feature. TTFN <3
Danielle
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: Michelle_P on September 01, 2018, 08:16:48 PM
Post by: Michelle_P on September 01, 2018, 08:16:48 PM
Welcome, Danielle!
So much of your story sounds familiar, while being part of your own unique life. Trying to come out in youth, secret experimentation, and trying to find completion through another woman are all part of many of our experiences.
As you have found, that drive to stop hiding and be our authentic selves is relentless, and intensifies over the years and decades. I hope you can find the aid and companionship here that we have all needed in our journey to become our authentic selves.
Welcome!
So much of your story sounds familiar, while being part of your own unique life. Trying to come out in youth, secret experimentation, and trying to find completion through another woman are all part of many of our experiences.
As you have found, that drive to stop hiding and be our authentic selves is relentless, and intensifies over the years and decades. I hope you can find the aid and companionship here that we have all needed in our journey to become our authentic selves.
Welcome!
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: angelats on September 05, 2018, 08:13:10 PM
Post by: angelats on September 05, 2018, 08:13:10 PM
Hello Danielle,
thank you for sharing your story.
I grew up in Catholic Southern Germany in the beginning of the Sixties.
Welcome!
thank you for sharing your story.
I grew up in Catholic Southern Germany in the beginning of the Sixties.
Welcome!
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: danielleplatz on November 22, 2018, 11:00:28 AM
Post by: danielleplatz on November 22, 2018, 11:00:28 AM
Today I had my first counseling Session with my Gender Therapie. Big Milestone for me. The journey will continue.
Title: Re: My Story
Post by: Susan R on November 26, 2018, 10:41:38 PM
Post by: Susan R on November 26, 2018, 10:41:38 PM
Hi Danielle, I'm again blown away with yet another life story that parallels mine in so many ways. It was so interesting to read as I could completely relate to every part of your life. I look forward to hearing more about you. I'm very new in my transition too. I'm looking to chat with like minded friends, like yourself, who have had similar journeys and life experiences. I wish you the very best on your upcoming transition.
Susan R🌷
Susan R🌷