Susan's Place Transgender Resources

And I a crossdresser! I am a male in my late 50's, married for my third time to a remarkable and supportive woman. I have been dressing since I was 7, I had found my dads Playboy magazines and was from then on infatuated with the female body, so I wore women's lingerie to feel like those beautiful women and to try to be beautiful through the lingerie, and nobody knew until I was 12 when my parents found my stash. My two brothers did not know then and until recently they both haven't known. My youngest brother and his wife now know because of a slip from my wife. My other brother I will need to tell soon because he should know too. I told my current wife that I was a crossdresser before we were married and she took it well, great relief. I have hidden my true self for too long and I had a conversation with my wife 2 months ago. Danielle needs to have a future and I want to have this future with my wife. She did not run away screaming when I told her before we married and she is still with me today. I can't tell you there have not been some heated discussions and I can't tell you what is in our future but I can tell you that we are going to face this together. I will not make a decision like going on HRT or Transitioning without discussing it with her first. This choice does not only affect me but her too. For the past 40+ years I have felt something was just not right with me but I couldn't put my finger on what that could be. I had a feminine temperament growing up in the Midwest. I would have dreams of wearing women's clothing and just like the models in Playboy I would undress and pose for the cameras. When I was in my teens the dreams became more erotic but I would be with another woman and never another man. I remember tucking my penis between my legs and admiring my feminine appearance in the mirror to this day I still tuck and admire in the mirror. It was and is the most liberating thing for me to see no penis or testies but the look of a vagina between my legs. Euphoric is the feeling and also the feeling that this is who I should be. I dated a few times and had one serious girlfriend in my senior year. We got married and had two children while I was in the military but after ten years we divorced and she never knew about my deep dark secret. I left the military and met my second wife. No children and 20 years later she and I divorced and she never knew of my deep dark secret either. Then I was able to buy what I wanted and dress how I wanted in my apartment so I put together a wardrobe full of clothing, panties, hose, garter belt, bras, breastforms, wig, makeup, high heels the works over the next 2 years. Then I met my current wife and was happy. I was still in the wrong body and after many discussions and over a number of years I now actually realize this fact. The trigger for the realization or epiphany? I do not know what it was exactly but it was as the Bible states, "and the scales fell from his eyes". I was sure I was in the wrong body since birth. I remembered a conversation I had with my mother, which until recently I had never told anyone but my current wife, when I was 12 or 13 my mother told me that I should have had an older sister but she was stillborn. Do I feel so feminine because I had an older twin who was stillborn and birthed before me? Should I have been born female? I feel female inside so I cannot say because my parents are deceased so I cannot ask them. Anyway I just started counseling this past week and in my heart I need to be female but realistically I have doubts and confusion. I also do not want to lose my dear and beloved wife whom I depend on so much for my sanity and my heart. My wife actually has been seeing the counselor I now see. My wife was going to her for counseling for awhile and my transgender identity concerns have come up. So I felt that I can see if the counselor and I are compatible then eventually joint counseling can happen and my hope and prayer is that my wife will become my champion in my transition and stay with me until death do us part. Thank you so much for reading this book of an introduction to myself. TTFN  :icon_chick:

Danielle

Hi Danielle  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)	Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)	Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)	News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)	Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)

Hugs

V M

Hey VM,
Thank you so much for the welcome. It is sure great to see and talk to others who feel and need the same or similar experiences and outcome which I do. Thanks for the links too. Have a great day!

Danielle

Quote from: Danielle Rose Fox on September 01, 2018, 03:20:27 PM
Hey VM,
Thank you so much for the welcome. It is sure great to see and talk to others who feel and need the same or similar experiences and outcome which I do. Thanks for the links too. Have a great day!

Danielle

@Danielle Rose Fox
Hello Danielle    ahhhh, another Danielle... it's a wonderful name for sure.
I see that you were just welcomed here by our lovely member @V M ....
... but please allow me to also give you a warm WELCOME TO SUSAN'S PLACE,

I am glad that you have become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your posting with other members here on the Forums.
I am thinking that you may have lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with your situation..
 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here on the Forums if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace. 

In her Welcome Message  V M  included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.   

Please don't be a stranger, we want to share postings and thoughts with you.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle  (The Alaskan one) 

Hi Alaskan Danielle,
Yes I agree that Danielle is a wonderful name to be sure. Thank you for another warm welcome it is greatly appreciated. I have questions and other stuff which has not been decided yet but eventually will need to be decided. I believe that a support structure is very important for your mental health on the journey but for questions for other things not about the journey. If, for example, a SO does not take the journey with you but decides it is too much to handle then support becomes very important. So I am very happy to be here among all of you and I hope to someday actually meet others in my area for friendship and the occasional girls night out. TTFN <3

Danielle (not the Alaskan one)