Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Veracious Valerie on September 01, 2018, 07:20:31 PM Return to Full Version
Title: my coming out
Post by: Veracious Valerie on September 01, 2018, 07:20:31 PM
Post by: Veracious Valerie on September 01, 2018, 07:20:31 PM
1st. of all
Hey All! my 1st post.
I'm currently technically married but we have been separated for 2 years now. We live together but she is away 6 days out of the week with her new boyfriend. We still love each other and are like best friends but not in love with each other. We married quickly and for the wrong reasons, which is an entire different topic. We both have like no friends which has forced us to become best friends. She comes to me like a girl would to her best friend for a shoulder to cry on or to chat about drama. Which is another reason why I'm here, to make new friends who understand.
Anyways. I was on the computer one day doing research about transitioning and watching other peoples mtf transition videos on you tube. She walked in and asked what I was doing. I just in that moment finally decided to tell her after months of research. I kinda was forced to tell her because after marring I stopped lying. She is a kind person and it hurts more to lie to her so I quickly told her exactly what I was watching and why. I explained to her things I never told anyone even after 6+ years of marriage. How I used to sneak into my uncles girlfriends closets and try on stuff when I was alone in the house as a kid/teen. Oh and don't get me started about my uncle. How when I watch movies and tv shows I relate to the situations from the girls perspective. She already knew I liked chick flicks and witnessed me cry in a lot of movies. Reminded her of those few good ol times when we had sex and I wore one of her body stockings during and I played it of as just a way to mix up the routine. Explained how I get a lot of gay men come up to talk to me and try to figure me out if I was gay. I have no interest in gay men but I guess I do thing I do no realize I'm doing to make them think I am. She replied, "I have had some co-works come up to me and ask me if you were gay." I came back with. I do already have kind of a feminine body and I am a sensitive guy. I've been thinking about this for years now but since I'm 37 now I've been using that as an excuse that I'm too old for a transition. Almost all the ftm youtubers are young when they started. Makes me feel like I won't transform into a passable woman. She said, "You are a handsome guy which should help." And that is exactly what I want. Not to be "Handsome" but to be "Pretty". A year ago she caught me watching a Twitch streamer putting on makeup. I played it off as "oh she is just really cute" when really I was just trying to live through the streamers life and trying to learn how to put on makeup. We then started to have me try on all her dresses and we found a few I looked good in. One especially she said I was glowing, super happy when I had it on.(Oh great this part is making me cry)
A Month after coming out to her and since I already did my research and had her read it too, I went to a doctor to discuss a transition. Few weeks later(08-24-18) I started Estradiol. In a few weeks I'll go up a bit and might also start my blockers. :D
I work at a hardware store, which is going to be a while till I come out to the rest of the world. I'll probably get a lot of hate from all the manly contractors. I'm already having my muscles feel sore after lifting even half of what I used to lift with no sweat. This transition will be interesting.
Anyways 1st person(best friend) is out of the way. Though she has already told her new boyfriend and her only girlfriend. Her girlfriend said, "I always thought he had something dark hanging over him" and she has a sister that thought about transitioning ftm but got talked out of it by the family. So she kinda understood. Her telling those 2 people kinda pissed me off but I know them enough to believe in that they will not spill my secret.
*No Dosages Please*
Hey All! my 1st post.
I'm currently technically married but we have been separated for 2 years now. We live together but she is away 6 days out of the week with her new boyfriend. We still love each other and are like best friends but not in love with each other. We married quickly and for the wrong reasons, which is an entire different topic. We both have like no friends which has forced us to become best friends. She comes to me like a girl would to her best friend for a shoulder to cry on or to chat about drama. Which is another reason why I'm here, to make new friends who understand.
Anyways. I was on the computer one day doing research about transitioning and watching other peoples mtf transition videos on you tube. She walked in and asked what I was doing. I just in that moment finally decided to tell her after months of research. I kinda was forced to tell her because after marring I stopped lying. She is a kind person and it hurts more to lie to her so I quickly told her exactly what I was watching and why. I explained to her things I never told anyone even after 6+ years of marriage. How I used to sneak into my uncles girlfriends closets and try on stuff when I was alone in the house as a kid/teen. Oh and don't get me started about my uncle. How when I watch movies and tv shows I relate to the situations from the girls perspective. She already knew I liked chick flicks and witnessed me cry in a lot of movies. Reminded her of those few good ol times when we had sex and I wore one of her body stockings during and I played it of as just a way to mix up the routine. Explained how I get a lot of gay men come up to talk to me and try to figure me out if I was gay. I have no interest in gay men but I guess I do thing I do no realize I'm doing to make them think I am. She replied, "I have had some co-works come up to me and ask me if you were gay." I came back with. I do already have kind of a feminine body and I am a sensitive guy. I've been thinking about this for years now but since I'm 37 now I've been using that as an excuse that I'm too old for a transition. Almost all the ftm youtubers are young when they started. Makes me feel like I won't transform into a passable woman. She said, "You are a handsome guy which should help." And that is exactly what I want. Not to be "Handsome" but to be "Pretty". A year ago she caught me watching a Twitch streamer putting on makeup. I played it off as "oh she is just really cute" when really I was just trying to live through the streamers life and trying to learn how to put on makeup. We then started to have me try on all her dresses and we found a few I looked good in. One especially she said I was glowing, super happy when I had it on.(Oh great this part is making me cry)
A Month after coming out to her and since I already did my research and had her read it too, I went to a doctor to discuss a transition. Few weeks later(08-24-18) I started Estradiol. In a few weeks I'll go up a bit and might also start my blockers. :D
I work at a hardware store, which is going to be a while till I come out to the rest of the world. I'll probably get a lot of hate from all the manly contractors. I'm already having my muscles feel sore after lifting even half of what I used to lift with no sweat. This transition will be interesting.
Anyways 1st person(best friend) is out of the way. Though she has already told her new boyfriend and her only girlfriend. Her girlfriend said, "I always thought he had something dark hanging over him" and she has a sister that thought about transitioning ftm but got talked out of it by the family. So she kinda understood. Her telling those 2 people kinda pissed me off but I know them enough to believe in that they will not spill my secret.
*No Dosages Please*
Title: Re: my coming out
Post by: Northern Star Girl on September 01, 2018, 08:29:19 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on September 01, 2018, 08:29:19 PM
@Veracious Valerie
Dear Veracious Valerie
I am certain that other members, after reading what you wrote in your posting will be along to share their thoughts with you.
I understand from your posting that you stated that you were a member quite a while ago... but I am figuring that we need to start anew.
Thank you today for your first posting here on Susan's Place. I am first going to give you a proper welcome and some information that will help you to most benefit being here on the Forums.
I am so glad that you have just become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your interesting and detailed posting with the members here on the Forums. Many of our members will now be aware of your arrival here on the Forums and can address some of the things that you stated on your very first posting here.
I am thinking that you may have lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with your situation as you feel free to share it.
Please allow me to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place.
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you had signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
I have included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place. Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
Dear Veracious Valerie
I am certain that other members, after reading what you wrote in your posting will be along to share their thoughts with you.
I understand from your posting that you stated that you were a member quite a while ago... but I am figuring that we need to start anew.
Thank you today for your first posting here on Susan's Place. I am first going to give you a proper welcome and some information that will help you to most benefit being here on the Forums.
I am so glad that you have just become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your interesting and detailed posting with the members here on the Forums. Many of our members will now be aware of your arrival here on the Forums and can address some of the things that you stated on your very first posting here.
I am thinking that you may have lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with your situation as you feel free to share it.
Please allow me to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place.
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you had signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
I have included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place. Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
Title: Re: my coming out
Post by: HappyMoni on September 01, 2018, 08:41:32 PM
Post by: HappyMoni on September 01, 2018, 08:41:32 PM
Welcome Valerie,
So glad you are here. My name is Moni. Thank you for sharing and I hope you will feel free to continue doing so. You are not too late to transition if that is what you want. I started in my late 50's. The happiness that it brought really overshadowed any regret that I didn't get to do it sooner. We can only live from this day forward. If you truly need it, its better not to run from it. Hope to see you around.
So glad you are here. My name is Moni. Thank you for sharing and I hope you will feel free to continue doing so. You are not too late to transition if that is what you want. I started in my late 50's. The happiness that it brought really overshadowed any regret that I didn't get to do it sooner. We can only live from this day forward. If you truly need it, its better not to run from it. Hope to see you around.
Title: Re: my coming out
Post by: V M on September 01, 2018, 08:42:23 PM
Post by: V M on September 01, 2018, 08:42:23 PM
Hi Valerie :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: my coming out
Post by: Veracious Valerie on September 01, 2018, 09:08:29 PM
Post by: Veracious Valerie on September 01, 2018, 09:08:29 PM
Telling the 1st person is what finally got me to start rolling on this process. I've been making up excuses for a while now. Feel so much lighter with this lifted off of me. It will be hard to tell more. After reading others post about coming out, it sounds like it will get easier with each one. Plus working retail all my life the negative comments just bounce right off me, hopefully that will come in useful.
Title: Re: my coming out
Post by: Northern Star Girl on September 01, 2018, 09:22:28 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on September 01, 2018, 09:22:28 PM
Quote from: Veracious Valerie on September 01, 2018, 09:08:29 PM
Telling the 1st person is what finally got me to start rolling on this process. I've been making up excuses for a while now. Feel so much lighter with this lifted off of me. It will be hard to tell more. After reading others post about coming out, it sounds like it will get easier with each one. Plus working retail all my life the negative comments just bounce right off me, hopefully that will come in useful.
@Veracious Valerie
Yes indeed, the very first time is the hardest for sure....
....certainly it does feel like a heavy load is lifted off of the shoulders...
It is true however, each subsequent time will become easier....
I will be looking forward to your updates regarding your progress
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your posting.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: my coming out
Post by: KathyLauren on September 02, 2018, 07:30:00 AM
Post by: KathyLauren on September 02, 2018, 07:30:00 AM
Hi, Valerie!
Congratulations on coming out to your wife/ex/best friend! The first time or two are the hardest, then it gets easier. It is never too late to start. I am a late bloomer: I started at age 61, and there are others here older than I am.
Your wife is right: if you are handsome as a male (as long as it is not "ruggedly" handsome), you have a very good chance of being pretty after transition.
It is an interesting journey that you are embarking upon, and there will be some difficult times. But enjoy it and make it fun. This is all about becoming your true self.
Congratulations on coming out to your wife/ex/best friend! The first time or two are the hardest, then it gets easier. It is never too late to start. I am a late bloomer: I started at age 61, and there are others here older than I am.
Your wife is right: if you are handsome as a male (as long as it is not "ruggedly" handsome), you have a very good chance of being pretty after transition.
It is an interesting journey that you are embarking upon, and there will be some difficult times. But enjoy it and make it fun. This is all about becoming your true self.