Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: bi-tastic on September 02, 2018, 10:12:57 PM Return to Full Version
Title: New and Questioning
Post by: bi-tastic on September 02, 2018, 10:12:57 PM
Post by: bi-tastic on September 02, 2018, 10:12:57 PM
I am new to this forum. I am from the USA. I'm 25 years old. I was assigned female at birth. I have been questioning my gender for 2 years now. I am constantly searching articles online about gender and searching Tumblr and watching videos. I am so confused and want to figure myself out. I joined this forum to talk to people like me.
I live in a small town and the people are very against LGBTQ.
There aren't many resources where I am. I have no friends in real life and I feel so lonely and isolated.
I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety and auditory hallucinations (hearing voices).
It's so difficult.
I have struggled with my sexuality in the past. It was difficult. Currently I identify as bisexual.
I am from a Christian family.
I am so scared of them not believing me or accepting me or hating me and not talking to me again.
Sorry this post was just me venting. Hopefully we can be friends.
Sent from my LGLS675 using Tapatalk
I live in a small town and the people are very against LGBTQ.
There aren't many resources where I am. I have no friends in real life and I feel so lonely and isolated.
I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety and auditory hallucinations (hearing voices).
It's so difficult.
I have struggled with my sexuality in the past. It was difficult. Currently I identify as bisexual.
I am from a Christian family.
I am so scared of them not believing me or accepting me or hating me and not talking to me again.
Sorry this post was just me venting. Hopefully we can be friends.
Sent from my LGLS675 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: New and Questioning
Post by: Dena on September 02, 2018, 11:11:27 PM
Post by: Dena on September 02, 2018, 11:11:27 PM
Quote from: bi-tastic on September 02, 2018, 10:12:57 PMWelcome to Susan's Place. I understand the difficulties your facing however the best advice I can provide is that you see a therapist. The above line suggest that you may be facing two issues with one other than gender dysphoria. If I am correct about the second issue, it will need to be addressed before you will be able to proceed very far with your gender dysphoria.
I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety and auditory hallucinations (hearing voices).
It may take a while but with professional help and the information we can provide you should be able to resolve this.
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
Title: Re: New and Questioning
Post by: Northern Star Girl on September 02, 2018, 11:38:35 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on September 02, 2018, 11:38:35 PM
@bi-tastic
Dear bi-tastic :
I see that you were just welcomed here by our lovely member @Dena ....
... but please allow me to also give you a warm WELCOME TO SUSAN'S PLACE,
I am glad that you have become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your posting with other members here on the Forums.
I am thinking that you may have lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with your situation..
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here on the Forums if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
In her Welcome Message Dena included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place. Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Please don't be a stranger, we want to share postings and thoughts with you.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
Dear bi-tastic :
I see that you were just welcomed here by our lovely member @Dena ....
... but please allow me to also give you a warm WELCOME TO SUSAN'S PLACE,
I am glad that you have become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your posting with other members here on the Forums.
I am thinking that you may have lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with your situation..
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here on the Forums if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
In her Welcome Message Dena included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place. Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Please don't be a stranger, we want to share postings and thoughts with you.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
Title: Re: New and Questioning
Post by: bi-tastic on September 02, 2018, 11:39:51 PM
Post by: bi-tastic on September 02, 2018, 11:39:51 PM
Quote from: Dena on September 02, 2018, 11:11:27 PMHi I am scared of telling anyone that I'm questioning. I am scared of telling my mom. My online friend suggested that I tell my psychiatrist that I'm questioning myself. But I'm not sure because I'm afraid of they would judge me.
Welcome to Susan's Place. I understand the difficulties your facing however the best advice I can provide is that you see a therapist. The above line suggest that you may be facing two issues with one other than gender dysphoria. If I am correct about the second issue, it will need to be addressed before you will be able to proceed very far with your gender dysphoria.
It may take a while but with professional help and the information we can provide you should be able to resolve this.Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)
Sent from my LGLS675 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: New and Questioning
Post by: V M on September 02, 2018, 11:43:18 PM
Post by: V M on September 02, 2018, 11:43:18 PM
Hi bi-tastic :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: New and Questioning
Post by: Dena on September 03, 2018, 12:35:08 AM
Post by: Dena on September 03, 2018, 12:35:08 AM
Quote from: bi-tastic on September 02, 2018, 11:39:51 PMA therapist normally isn't going to judge you. Occasionally one might and if they do, your free to seek another therapist that your more comfortable with. I fear your at a point where your going to need help because it will be difficult for you to figure this out.
Hi I am scared of telling anyone that I'm questioning. I am scared of telling my mom. My online friend suggested that I tell my psychiatrist that I'm questioning myself. But I'm not sure because I'm afraid of they would judge me.
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Title: Re: New and Questioning
Post by: bi-tastic on September 03, 2018, 09:17:18 AM
Post by: bi-tastic on September 03, 2018, 09:17:18 AM
Quote from: Dena on September 03, 2018, 12:35:08 AMOkay I understand. I will tell my psychiatrist. Thank you. ☺
A therapist normally isn't going to judge you. Occasionally one might and if they do, your free to seek another therapist that your more comfortable with. I fear your at a point where your going to need help because it will be difficult for you to figure this out.
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Title: Re: New and Questioning
Post by: bi-tastic on September 03, 2018, 09:19:14 AM
Post by: bi-tastic on September 03, 2018, 09:19:14 AM
Quote from: V M on September 02, 2018, 11:43:18 PMHey thank you. ☺
Hi bi-tastic :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Sent from my LGLS675 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: New and Questioning
Post by: Tiu on September 08, 2018, 03:27:21 PM
Post by: Tiu on September 08, 2018, 03:27:21 PM
Hey, :)
I can relate to you. It's been quite difficult for me in my childhood. The outsider kid. Loneliness. Pain. Confusing feelings. All that. And it got even worse when I began to realize the problem was maybe me being trans. Especially uncertainty. But also, if I were right -- I thought -- how were I to do all that, I felt I had to do, in order to live my life the way I want to. And what about the people around me, how would the react?
However, the uncertainty was the most terrible thing. So, what I did, was to see a therapist in order to become more certain. To be honest, it didn't help me much. I wouldn't have wanna missed him, he did help me, though mostly with other things, bureaucracy mainly.
What really made the difference, was trying things out. Introducing and presenting myself with the (assumed) right gender online. Talking to cis-friends of that gender about mine and their feelings and comparing them. Later, trying on the right clothing. Later seing friends in that clothing, and introducing myself to their parents correctly. Going full-time. Going on hormone blockers and finally HRT. These experiences gave me confidence. I always went a tiny step further and I kept going. It was good. It was better. Times confusing because I wasn't used to many things. But eventually always good and better than the opposite. Which you should not forget: Compare these experiences to the experiences with the ones as your (assumed) wrong gender. And see how these make you feel.
It takes a lot of time, and even after that time you might not be sure a 100%. I wasn't when I started hormones and decided it was probably the right thing to live my life as the "new" gender. The hormones made me effectively sure, though there's still this unrealistic 0.0000...1% chance I might be wrong.
Point is: Try it out. Feel your way. You will have to take risk with every new step, jump, because you won't be sure. But it does pay out in the end. Because usually you do like what you think you'd like. Okay? Just remember that.
It's all gonna be alright. Trust yourself and your feelings.
The people around you might indeed not understand it, not accept it. But most of the time, at least for me, people surprise you by how supportive they are. :) And even if not, that's not the end of the world. You can move, you can find a way to live your life they way it's best for you.
Let me hug you and pet your back. :) It will be all right.
I can relate to you. It's been quite difficult for me in my childhood. The outsider kid. Loneliness. Pain. Confusing feelings. All that. And it got even worse when I began to realize the problem was maybe me being trans. Especially uncertainty. But also, if I were right -- I thought -- how were I to do all that, I felt I had to do, in order to live my life the way I want to. And what about the people around me, how would the react?
However, the uncertainty was the most terrible thing. So, what I did, was to see a therapist in order to become more certain. To be honest, it didn't help me much. I wouldn't have wanna missed him, he did help me, though mostly with other things, bureaucracy mainly.
What really made the difference, was trying things out. Introducing and presenting myself with the (assumed) right gender online. Talking to cis-friends of that gender about mine and their feelings and comparing them. Later, trying on the right clothing. Later seing friends in that clothing, and introducing myself to their parents correctly. Going full-time. Going on hormone blockers and finally HRT. These experiences gave me confidence. I always went a tiny step further and I kept going. It was good. It was better. Times confusing because I wasn't used to many things. But eventually always good and better than the opposite. Which you should not forget: Compare these experiences to the experiences with the ones as your (assumed) wrong gender. And see how these make you feel.
It takes a lot of time, and even after that time you might not be sure a 100%. I wasn't when I started hormones and decided it was probably the right thing to live my life as the "new" gender. The hormones made me effectively sure, though there's still this unrealistic 0.0000...1% chance I might be wrong.
Point is: Try it out. Feel your way. You will have to take risk with every new step, jump, because you won't be sure. But it does pay out in the end. Because usually you do like what you think you'd like. Okay? Just remember that.
It's all gonna be alright. Trust yourself and your feelings.
The people around you might indeed not understand it, not accept it. But most of the time, at least for me, people surprise you by how supportive they are. :) And even if not, that's not the end of the world. You can move, you can find a way to live your life they way it's best for you.
Let me hug you and pet your back. :) It will be all right.