Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Denise on September 13, 2018, 01:03:06 PM Return to Full Version
Title: How I came out to 100 people without any issues
Post by: Denise on September 13, 2018, 01:03:06 PM
Post by: Denise on September 13, 2018, 01:03:06 PM
I posted this about a year ago but I've received positive feedback from some friends who have come out recently so I thought I'd post it again.
I thought about my spiel for a long time and all the possible reactions until I honed the words to my satisfaction. This is how I came out to about 100 people, one or two at a time without and blowback.
With only a few exceptions I came out in a public place like a coffee shop or restaurant without wait staff since I didn't want to be interrupted.
Me: Have you ever heard of Gender Dysphoria? (Note that only 2 knew what it was)
Them: No
Me: it's the clinical diagnosis for people who are transgender. (Close enough for laymen.)
(Pause)
Me: and I've been diagnosed with it by multiple medical professionals.
(Pause)
Them: (responses varied, wow, really, how long...)
I never actually say "I'm transgender" as I want them to make that connection. I found that method removed any option of "choosing" or "choice" in the discussion. I've been diagnosed with something and the way to, pardon the inaccuracies, cure G.D. is to transition.
The conversations lasted from 20 seconds (in an elevator going 7 floors) to +2 hours with multiple follow ups.
If you do something like this, I'd love to hear your experiences; reply with your successes and failures
Good luck and best wishes.
Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk
I thought about my spiel for a long time and all the possible reactions until I honed the words to my satisfaction. This is how I came out to about 100 people, one or two at a time without and blowback.
With only a few exceptions I came out in a public place like a coffee shop or restaurant without wait staff since I didn't want to be interrupted.
Me: Have you ever heard of Gender Dysphoria? (Note that only 2 knew what it was)
Them: No
Me: it's the clinical diagnosis for people who are transgender. (Close enough for laymen.)
(Pause)
Me: and I've been diagnosed with it by multiple medical professionals.
(Pause)
Them: (responses varied, wow, really, how long...)
I never actually say "I'm transgender" as I want them to make that connection. I found that method removed any option of "choosing" or "choice" in the discussion. I've been diagnosed with something and the way to, pardon the inaccuracies, cure G.D. is to transition.
The conversations lasted from 20 seconds (in an elevator going 7 floors) to +2 hours with multiple follow ups.
If you do something like this, I'd love to hear your experiences; reply with your successes and failures
Good luck and best wishes.
Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: How I came out to 100 people without any issues
Post by: KathyLauren on September 13, 2018, 02:41:22 PM
Post by: KathyLauren on September 13, 2018, 02:41:22 PM
Denise, perhaps I got the idea from you. I know I got it from someone on Susan's. Whoever it was, that is exactly the approach I used for the two neighbourhood groups I came out to in person. In both cases, I made the announcement in a regular meeting of the group.
I said exactly what you suggest: that G.D. is the diagnosis used for people who are transgender, and that I have been diagnosed with it. It made the point that it was a medical condition, and that it was diagnosed by professionals, and was not a choice. And I went on to say that the cure is to transition to the proper gender.
In both cases, I got a few surprised looks, but no negative reactions at all. I got expressions of support and acceptance. One lady, who has had some difficult LGBT issues in her family got teary-eyed and was effusive in her support.
For a couple of other groups I came out to, I did a mass email to the group mailing list. Both groups consisted of intelligent, informed people, so I had fairly high confidence that it would go well. My email read, in part:
So, yes, I can vouch for your approach.
I said exactly what you suggest: that G.D. is the diagnosis used for people who are transgender, and that I have been diagnosed with it. It made the point that it was a medical condition, and that it was diagnosed by professionals, and was not a choice. And I went on to say that the cure is to transition to the proper gender.
In both cases, I got a few surprised looks, but no negative reactions at all. I got expressions of support and acceptance. One lady, who has had some difficult LGBT issues in her family got teary-eyed and was effusive in her support.
For a couple of other groups I came out to, I did a mass email to the group mailing list. Both groups consisted of intelligent, informed people, so I had fairly high confidence that it would go well. My email read, in part:
Quote. I wanted to give you a heads-up that I am changing my name. My new name will be Kathy. Okay, obviously there is more changing than just my name. I am transitioning to live as the woman I was meant to be. This is not a hasty or sudden decision. It has been on my mind for the last 62 years.In both cases, I had a huge number of positive responses, and none negative. I feel loved and supported in both groups.
So, yes, I can vouch for your approach.