Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I don't believe in it, but I did this past life thing.
It said that the lesson I learnt in my last life was "to develop your talent for love, happiness and enthusiasm and you should distribute these feelings to all people."

It got me thinking, what is the lesson I would take with me if it were possible?

I've learnt this lesson:

A lesson/warning to the young:

Keep your heart to yourself. Eat, drink, be merry and make love. But don't ever ever give your heart to another human being.
Have fun, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOVE.

is not that time of love worth its loss?

Quote from: Nero on January 01, 2008, 08:55:24 PM
I've learnt this lesson:

A lesson/warning to the young:

Keep your heart to yourself. Eat, drink, be merry and make love. But don't ever ever give your heart to another human being.
Have fun, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOVE.

i disagree.  there's only one person you should always love.  you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and yourself ONLY.

i always thought someone else would be better at looking after my heart than me.

Quote from: Natasha on January 01, 2008, 10:44:08 PM

Quote from: Nero on January 01, 2008, 08:55:24 PM
I've learnt this lesson:

A lesson/warning to the young:

Keep your heart to yourself. Eat, drink, be merry and make love. But don't ever ever give your heart to another human being.
Have fun, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOVE.

i disagree.  there's only one person you should always love.  you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and yourself ONLY.

Touche. You're right. Other beings - humans, animals will fail you, but you have yourself. You cannot control others - they leave, they die. But you can control yourself.

not sure i like the idea of control.  :-\

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 01, 2008, 11:15:37 PM
not sure i like the idea of control.  :-\

Peeky needs a hubby, sounds like.

Learn to love, learn to forgive, and above all else, make sure you have some fun once in a while!

Cindi

I'm with Nero on the keeping your heart to yourself thing. Can never really trust anyone not to break it, i know i wont break it.

But, my learned lesson is be happy. No matter what crap life throws at you, it helps to get through hard times with your head held high. I've learned how life will mess with you the best way possible and life gets to you more the more you bother about the bad things in life. Life wont bother trying to knock you down if you cant be knocked down  :laugh:

Quote from: Nero on January 01, 2008, 11:20:07 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 01, 2008, 11:15:37 PM
not sure i like the idea of control.  :-\

Peeky needs a hubby, sounds like.

needs a romantic whilwind

The heart is many-chambered, filled with many and varied emotions. To fill it with life and care is to risk hurt. To not seems like a path toward emptiness to me. An opportunity to find the secret to leaving pain?

Perhaps to fill your heart and take the risk.

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 01, 2008, 08:47:55 PM
It got me thinking, what is the lesson I would take with me if it were possible?

Trust. Faith. Believe. Dream.

And... Be Careful What You Wish For...

~Kate~

Hum,

To me it sounds so sad to hear so many people afraid to love; life is risk, love is risk. Yes you can and most likely will get hurt by loving others...that is almost a given...but to not love is to miss something that is also so wonderful. The great thing about love is there are so many firsts...for each love in our life there was the first kiss, the first time you held hands, the first time making love...and no two lover's are ever the same...so each is a unique experience to boot.

There are also many different types of love too...the world is full of love and beauty if you just take the time to see it. The world is both harsh and beautify all at the same time; take an ice storm...a rather deadly and unpleasant experience...but look at the world and see how the ice transforms the world...the trees become encased in a beautiful crystal layer of ice...the light refracting through the ice...cause what seems tiny little rainbows...the ice transforms the world...and is beautiful...

To love is not without risks, and you will get hurt along the way...but the true purpose of life is to move on, learn, and continue to explore the world and it beauty and to grow within ourselves...to give up on love is to shun the world and that to me is a very sad state and in my opinion you are then missing so much of what the world and love have to offer.....

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre

Quote from: Nero on January 01, 2008, 08:55:24 PM
I've learnt this lesson:

A lesson/warning to the young:

Keep your heart to yourself. Eat, drink, be merry and make love. But don't ever ever give your heart to another human being.
Have fun, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOVE.

No, hon.  If that was the lesson I learned from Meredith's death, I would truly have died when she did.

Just that 'if it can go wrong, it will go wrong'  :-\

Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on January 02, 2008, 10:25:15 AM
Hum,

To me it sounds so sad to hear so many people afraid to love; life is risk, love is risk. Yes you can and most likely will get hurt by loving others...that is almost a given...but to not love is to miss something that is also so wonderful. The great thing about love is there are so many firsts...for each love in our life there was the first kiss, the first time you held hands, the first time making love...and no two lover's are ever the same...so each is a unique experience to boot.

There are also many different types of love too...the world is full of love and beauty if you just take the time to see it. The world is both harsh and beautify all at the same time; take an ice storm...a rather deadly and unpleasant experience...but look at the world and see how the ice transforms the world...the trees become encased in a beautiful crystal layer of ice...the light refracting through the ice...cause what seems tiny little rainbows...the ice transforms the world...and is beautiful...

To love is not without risks, and you will get hurt along the way...but the true purpose of life is to move on, learn, and continue to explore the world and it beauty and to grow within ourselves...to give up on love is to shun the world and that to me is a very sad state and in my opinion you are then missing so much of what the world and love have to offer.....

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre

I've seen too much of what this cruel world and love have to offer.

I have learned that absolutely no one can be trusted and to always keep my sidearm within easy reach.

My lesson for this time around, sure-as-nuts, is to learn to let go and not try to control everything. Control is an illusion... or so my karmic lessons keep telling me...

As to the question of love, I agree with Isabelle, despite the risks. We human beings are born animals, instinctive, self-serving and a-moral. We grow up within a social framework that teaches us (just barely) the value of a common good and community, but in most situations our instincts for self-preservation always win. We might dress it up with reasoning or emotion, but it's all based on fear in the end...

But we also have something else. We can choose to deny our instincts and act against them. We can be kind, compassionate, self-sacrificing in the most astonishing ways, and that is where we choose to become human. I agree that people will almost certainly always betray or disappoint you in the long run, but we all have the capacity not to, and that's why I choose to applaud those who manage to rise above their animal nature, rather than blame those only acting true to their animal selves.

Quote from: Nero on January 01, 2008, 08:55:24 PM
I've learnt this lesson:

A lesson/warning to the young:

Keep your heart to yourself. Eat, drink, be merry and make love. But don't ever ever give your heart to another human being.
Have fun, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOVE.

that's just brutal, sweetie.

making love with someone you don't love is not really so good. do make yourself vulnerable. do get totally swept up in the tidal wave of sweet romance. always believe in true love.

-ell

true love and high adventure

I learned that most people are a danger with just a little knowledge.

Quote from: ell on January 02, 2008, 04:10:36 PM

Quote from: Nero on January 01, 2008, 08:55:24 PM
I've learnt this lesson:

A lesson/warning to the young:

Keep your heart to yourself. Eat, drink, be merry and make love. But don't ever ever give your heart to another human being.
Have fun, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOVE.

that's just brutal, sweetie.

making love with someone you don't love is not really so good. do make yourself vulnerable. do get totally swept up in the tidal wave of sweet romance. always believe in true love.

-ell

My true love is in the ground.

So you still believe in true love.

Of course, Peekachoo. It exists within us all. Always. It's not always romantic, but the ability to give of one self: ah that is eternal.

Nero, it's as close and as real as you make it, luv. It has been and will be. What you have given once, can be given again, and again. Can it, does it sometimes ache and throb and leave you exhausted with crying? O, yes. Yes it does.

But, it remains and can be touched again. As you do, so often, here. Hugs,

N~

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 02, 2008, 07:35:01 PM
true love and high adventure

high adventure makes me forget about love and all the heartaches it brings.
after jumping out of a plane 151 times, i believe this to be true...

Quote from: natalie on January 02, 2008, 10:33:51 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 02, 2008, 07:35:01 PM
true love and high adventure

high adventure makes me forget about love and all the heartaches it brings.
after jumping out of a plane 151 times, i believe this to be true...

OMG please tell - what is that like?

So that is what "high adventure" means, jumping out of an airplane. Always wondered.

Hey, Natalie, I hope you always use a parachute?

a tad literal perhaps...but if you like to fling yerself off planes, good on you.

ok, so this will sound silly, but it is very relaxing. all cares fad away.

there is the stress of getting up to altitude and waiting for the plane to climb up. but once you are out the door, you are free.

of course if you are jumping with a group and trying to turn points or build formations, that adds some stress. but some of my favorite jumps are at sunset, me alone just flying through the air.

if you never did it, you must try it. it is not for everyone. but there is nothing like it in this world!!
Try a tandem jump for your first jump. you are tied into a experienced instructor and get the experience without the stress of landing and all the technical stuff. 

btw, i jump with 2 parachutes, my main Saber I 170 and my reserve PD 160. don't leave home with out them ;-)

It is a serious sport. It has taken some friends and almost got a old girl friend. Until recentally, i didn't care though. It provided relief from the stress of not being the true me.

Quote from: ell on January 02, 2008, 04:10:36 PM

Quote from: Nero on January 01, 2008, 08:55:24 PM
I've learnt this lesson:

A lesson/warning to the young:

Keep your heart to yourself. Eat, drink, be merry and make love. But don't ever ever give your heart to another human being.
Have fun, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOVE.

that's just brutal, sweetie.

making love with someone you don't love is not really so good. do make yourself vulnerable. do get totally swept up in the tidal wave of sweet romance. always believe in true love.

-ell

Were it not for romantic love I could easily do without living here.  It has always been the ideal in my life and for as many times as the other person in that romantic love has hurt me, I continue to believe that it is the "gold medal" of this life.  How much greater a prize can I win besides another's heart, love, mind, actions, caring, and person?

Love is priceless yet it costs nothing.  It takes work to keep it going but there is no effort involved.  It grows equally in the dark and the light.  It demands nothing yet one can invest everything in it and get a handsome return.  In the face of a barren landscape it is as perennial as the grass.  It is of divine origin yet a purely human thing.  Were I to give up on love it would have to be after I died in this life. 

I refuse to let anyone steal or kill my dream, and romantic love is what my dream is.

That I have learned, along with what it takes to be successful in my career, that money is nice but sometimes poverty ain't bad, to always open on guts, use the other person's money (***honestly***) whenever possible, and to trust those do trust without question.  Time is like a long, black sack and friends and loved ones hold onto it.  I stick my entire arm into that bag, or I don't trust at all.  There are those who will take my back and I am grateful to have theirs.

I miss my kid brother.  He died at 39 from a heroin OD.  He had been on it for years.  I wanted to see him again, in the next world as I believe in it, to smack him up the side of the head.  I have forgiven him knowing he was hurting when he did that after being clean and sober for 3 months.

I still need to learn how to forgive my sisters for stealing from my father when his mind became clouded by Alzheimer's.  That is a huge lesson because I cannot imagine a punishment to fit that crime.  And it cost $18,000 to get them out of my dad's pockets.  We had a court trial over this!

I still need to forgive my mom, my older sister, and her jackass husband for ruining my high school years and for taking my first love away from me.  In that regard I died when I was 18.  That's like swallowing a boulder but the older I get, the easier it seems to do.

And I have learned not to take myself too seriously.  When I do, there goes the fun!

Wing Walker
Enjoying the Flight

Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on January 02, 2008, 10:25:15 AM
To me it sounds so sad to hear so many people afraid to love; life is risk, love is risk. ...

There are also many different types of love too...the world is full of love and beauty if you just take the time to see it. The world is both harsh and beautify all at the same time; take an ice storm...a rather deadly and unpleasant experience...but look at the world and see how the ice transforms the world...the trees become encased in a beautiful crystal layer of ice...the light refracting through the ice...cause what seems tiny little rainbows...the ice transforms the world...and is beautiful...

Even the most horrible experiences we go through can bring huge benefits or teach us something, but we need to be open to them in order to derive any benefit.

Case in point: I was married for all of a year - nice little starter marriage not even fresh out of college, my one and only relationship with a girl. We ended up hurting and hating each other constantly, me because I was struggling with coming to terms with myself, her because she was dealing with an unplanned baby boy (not mine, sadly...) and the death of her mother. Our divorce was... painful and nasty, and we didn't speak for years.

I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. My ex taught me so much, by example as much as by ugly, painfully tuaght lessons - how to be strong and independant, how to be true to oneself, when to compromise and when not. She showed me it was okay not to conform, not to be ashamed of any part of who or what I am, and for that I'll always love her. Besides, I got to be a parent for a while, something that I might never get to experience again.

Don't know how many of you subscribe to it, but in numerology the number 7 is the number of experience, of practical, real learning, the precursor of wisdom (number 8). But the caveat it has is that learning never comes without sacrifice, without painful loss and suffering. Wisdom doesn't just get handed you on a plate - you earn it. So if you have lots of sevens in your birthday, make peace with the fact that you're gonna get your a**e handed to you fairly regularly, but realise that every bad situation you encounter is there for a reason, to teach you something, somehow. Not easy to do, but I think in the long run, it makes life a lot easier if one can have this sort of attitude about things. Don't take my word for it though - I still have a hard enough time figuring out what I'm supposed to learn from being a 6 foot tall not-quite-girl!

Quote from: ell on January 02, 2008, 04:10:36 PM
do make yourself vulnerable. do get totally swept up in the tidal wave of sweet romance. always believe in true love.

-ell

Why? So they can have an easier time at plunging the knife in later? I have made myself vulnerable, literally placed my health and mental well being in the hands of those I loved. What did I get? Rejection. Blame.

Screw it. Love may feel great at the time but it is never worth the pain that you feel once it has run its course.

Quote from: Nero on January 02, 2008, 09:19:33 PM

Quote from: ell on January 02, 2008, 04:10:36 PM

Quote from: Nero on January 01, 2008, 08:55:24 PM
I've learnt this lesson:

A lesson/warning to the young:

Keep your heart to yourself. Eat, drink, be merry and make love. But don't ever ever give your heart to another human being.
Have fun, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOVE.

that's just brutal, sweetie.

making love with someone you don't love is not really so good. do make yourself vulnerable. do get totally swept up in the tidal wave of sweet romance. always believe in true love.

-ell

My true love is in the ground.

That reminds me of a song i know... *sings* "My one true love is under the ground... and i'll never beeee.... i'll never beeee..." I cant remember the rest. Good ol' Morrissey ^.^

Quote from: lady amarant on January 02, 2008, 11:25:52 PM
So if you have lots of sevens in your birthday, make peace with the fact that you're gonna get your a**e handed to you fairly regularly, but realise that every bad situation you encounter is there for a reason, to teach you something, somehow.

so my birthday of 07/07 is a bit of a bugger then? (Luckily it ends with 85, and not 77)

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 03, 2008, 08:45:30 AM
so my birthday of 07/07 is a bit of a bugger then? (Luckily it ends with 85, and not 77)

Yup. Sorry. You're screwed then...  ;)

Biggest lesson still learning "it is not about me"

Going through life I find that when I get hurt, discouraged, frustrated or angry it is usually because I am just thinking about myself and not what even one else is going through.

As I have gotten older I'm more patient and I think through the frustrations of life and ask myself the question "If it is not about me, what is it about?"  I'm then much better able to respond in love and kindness than in angry or frustration.

Things I like about my life, stopping and observing and truly appreciating the moment. My job has me traveling quite a bit and it is real easy to get jaded by flying, hotels, restaurants. I look around and see who through their service is making my life easier, I look around and enjoy the horizon of the sun setting. I still get delight of having room service put a flower on my tray. :)

Quote from: LostInTime on January 03, 2008, 01:45:58 AM

Quote from: ell on January 02, 2008, 04:10:36 PM
do make yourself vulnerable. do get totally swept up in the tidal wave of sweet romance. always believe in true love.

-ell

Why? So they can have an easier time at plunging the knife in later? I have made myself vulnerable, literally placed my health and mental well being in the hands of those I loved. What did I get? Rejection. Blame.

Screw it. Love may feel great at the time but it is never worth the pain that you feel once it has run its course.

why? because those special relationships help us define who we really are, which is always a good thing. all of my special relationships have ended either in pain or confusion (either for myself or the other person). but also, each was extremely enriching in some way. maybe it's like some special nutrients you can't get in any other way...

-ell

Quote from: ell on January 03, 2008, 12:11:13 PM
why? because those special relationships help us define who we really are, which is always a good thing. all of my special relationships have ended either in pain or confusion (either for myself or the other person). but also, each was extremely enriching in some way. maybe it's like some special nutrients you can't get in any other way...

-ell

Hey ell,

Oh...to read your response gives me hope for the world! I agree that love, while it can hurt, extremely enriching.

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre

Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on January 03, 2008, 05:15:56 PM
Hey ell,

Oh...to read your response gives me hope for the world! I agree that love, while it can hurt, extremely enriching.

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre

Thank you very much.

-ell

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 01, 2008, 08:47:55 PM
It got me thinking, what is the lesson I would take with me if it were possible?

Don't come back as a cockroach, in whatever size, type or species (eg. human). No one will like you. Everything else has some redeeming value, however small. ;)

I'm learning to let go... that is in the sense that I can't control everything, so I need to just let go.  It's very humbling, and calms me down because I know that all the sadness in the world won't change things.  I'm also learning to listen to my inner voice, that I am no longer a child and I have to follow my own course. That I am no longer blinded by faith and that there are many ways to live and I have a choice in how I will live my life regardless of others.

tink :icon_chick:

What she said.

Life is simply too small and fragile to not walk the walk I have and try to enjoy those I meet along the way. *sigh*

Some new discovery every day that I am not all that, not even a bag o' chips.

Nichole