Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Veronica J on September 23, 2018, 09:47:43 PM Return to Full Version
Title: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: Veronica J on September 23, 2018, 09:47:43 PM
Post by: Veronica J on September 23, 2018, 09:47:43 PM
wasn't by choice that they are the last to know.. it just happened that way. most of my coming out was not by my hand.. handy having vengeful family member (whom i no longer recognise as family for what he tried to do..)
this is my first draft and i have till the end of October to have it finalised. right now i am happy with the way its written.. tho i will happily take any criticism. please note, there is no way i can do this face to face. i know its fairly long.. but i aint no spring chook and responding to my recent bday letter in part in it as well.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I have spent a lot of time and wondered how to write this letter. It is the single most difficult, soul searching thing I have ever done my entire life. Opening up to both of you, after decades of keeping the real important parts of me hidden (my inner struggles and my personal battles) all my life is so hard. I am too used to standing on my own, using my own strength and will power. I considered hand writing this letter, but then who the heck would actually be able to read my cursive hand writing? Certainly not me, I can never read my hand writing. I think it's time to be honest, as I feel that keeping truth has hurt the relationship between us and continues to put a strain on it. Why a letter? Well it gives you time to read this at your own time and hopefully gives you time to understand me your child a little more.
Please, please understand this has nothing to do with your parenting skills whatsoever. You have both been wonderful parents to me. You have given me strength, courage and the tenacity to stand no matter the storm. You have given me many pearls of wisdom, and wonderful words that has kept me going all my life. You have introduced me to the love of music, the piano, the wonders of God and our universe. The most important thing ever was the Bible and God, its only thing that has sustained me (your love not withstanding) growing up. It's helped me weather storm after storm and is the back bone on which I stand. I have had an amazing childhood and done things that others can only dream off and admire, many simply struggle to believe it all. You have given up so much for your children, I have always stood in awe of the things you have done and sacrificed for your children.
All my life I have done my best to do things that please both of you. Done what's expected, folded under pressure as it was easier to keep the status quo and the peace. And overtime I lost who I was and was just doing and being what everyone expected of me. I lost all hope in life, hope in future, I lost myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. It was easier than facing the truth, just to coast thru it all. Its one of reasons I continued smoking was to simply end it all taking it all with me to the grave. To live a miserable life and hating every moment of it was just how it was, my lot in the universe to live in constant pain, hating every moment.
Growing up before going to boarding school, I simply thought myself as me, I knew inside I was different. I simply didn't know what was different, I simply latched onto the idea it was because we were Christians and that is what was different between me and others. I simply considered myself me.. Nothing truly special. Please don't take this next bit as your fault, its important to understand nothing you did is the cause.. Absolutely nothing in the world would of changed it, I was born this way. Mom, Dad truly please believe me.
It wasn't till I was in boarding school and I told my friend steward (or was his name Steven, I know it started with an S) while on holiday with him I told him what I wanted to be growing up. And that somehow spread to one person at the school. It wasn't till then that my dream got shattered. I become violently angry at the world, the unfairness of it all and I resolved to grow up and simply disappear into the world as soon as I could. I realized the impossibility of it all, buried it and it angered me even more. I resolved to never tell you what happened, as it is not your fault and I didn't want to burden you with the truth of what occurred. And I still wont, I love you too much and you were doing your best for me.
I lived in anger, easily set off, I knew I was different from everyone around me. I never understood what it was or why. Was I headed straight to hell? Did it make me an evil person? Why did everyone at school hate me? Why did no one like me? So many nights in bed as a teenager I silently cried, my dreams gave me anguish which I learned to conceal. And then I was dared by Mark and Dwane about getting my hands on an adult magazine, so I went straight to you and asked you to buy them for me to prove to them I could get any book I wanted. You also preferred total honesty rather than me hiding everything. See I spent hours in the library looking for an answer and never found one. Combing any medical book, hating myself for my dreams and hope for the future. And it wasn't till I read an article I realized the truth of myself, I finaly had a label and my search began.
Finding out the truth about myself was a Godsend, and I became even more determined to do my best and simply at age 18 vanish into society and begin the process of discovery. And one thing led to another and we ended up in New Zealand. My life began taking on a mode of simply existing, and I slipped back into old habits and did what was expected, causing as little waves as possible. I resided to simply living a life of constant pain, anguish and hatred of myself. Am I simply destined to fail at everything? am I so ugly and unwanted? Unlovable by others?
Over the course of my life, there have been many close calls.. the only thing that stopped me, is whatever happens to the souls that send themselves home early? But despite that there were two extremely close ones where I nearly sent my soul home. The first one twenty years ago and someone grabbed me and stopped me and sent me to a shrink and I got counselling, but I was too young and the Christian counsellor totally destroyed me and I moved back home.
In my soul I knew going with Karl to Raylenes flat was a bad idea, and I knew at the alter I was making the biggest mistake of my life. But I went thru with it anyway, its what everyone expected of me and it kept the peace. And my life spiraled out of control, I tried my best to keep things together, trying to keep everyone happy and do what was expected. Failing at everything I tried. Tried to shove the pain away, it slowly began to eat me away inside of me and each die I died a little inside. And then two years ago, the pain had gotten so intense, I was soo dead inside, I came with in a foot of sending my soul home and it wasn't till someone on the platform yelled for someone else that stopped me.
That gave me pause and I made a decision to go and get help. I spent the very next weekend in Tasmania examining my life and where do I want to go from here. And the following week I decided my relationship with Raylene had to end. I knew the path I had to walk she would never agree with, and I have never truly loved her, cared for her yes, loved her no. I had to move forward with my life and be real to myself. To do something about the pain inside. To take all the lessons life has thrown me, to find myself again, to be around for the next 40 years for my children.
It was the best decision I have ever made. Over the last two years, I have found who I am and have had the best time of my life. Discovering who I am and the path I am going to walk, to work thru many issues to get on the path my life should have been on all those years ago. What did I discover all those years ago in that article (and each and everyone after I could get my hands on, every documentary I could watch)? I discovered I wasn't alone and that there was a perfect word for what I am, and its very well known word.
I am a transsexual, I know what this word means and all the ways it is used. More specifically a transwomen, or male-to-female transsexual. Its not something one wakes up one morning and decides hey this is a great idea and go thru all the pain and suffering that goes along with it. To undergo all those surgeries, and to lose ones' family. No this is something one is born too, it's not something that can be tucked away and ignored. It's not a constant pain one can simply bare just because it makes others uncomfortable and conceived as "wrong". One always loses if you try to simply ignore it and be what everyone else wants you to be. To be totally heart and soul broken each and every day of your life. To have a constant soul deep pain of existence, to feel like an accidental creation, an whoopsie daisy nature done and stuffed up.
I have been a transsexual all my life, I wanted to grow up and be a women all those years ago, the secret I told my boarding school friend. I hope and prayed every single night a miracle would occur in the night, and my disappointment each morning that it didn't. my height, my male looks all of it made it an impossible to achieve. Until two years ago when I made the decision to walk my road and start to live rather than exist. I am happier now than I have ever been, more confident in myself, more at peace with who I am.
So a year ago I made the decision to begin transitioning, to begin living as my true gender. To stop living a lie and so I began Hormone Replacement therapy and its my intention to go the whole way. I know this is hard for you, and I am not asking for you to understand what I am going thru as only those who have been thru what I have been will ever be able to understand. Please, please don't feel that is your fault, there is absolutely nothing you could of done differently that would of changed me. It is not a failure of you as a parent that caused this. I was born this way, was meant to be this way all my life. My heart and soul are at peace with my choice.
There is absolutely nothing you can say or do that will make me change my new and right course in life. I am going down this road, and I have great friends who will walk alongside me. I have even started going out in my daily life as my trueself. I love being myself and going out as the true me and its amazing not hiding who I am anymore. I won't be attending Christmas this year as the old dead me, infact I will be doing my own thing and its up to Darrian if he wants to go. Darrian also knows as well and he stands by me, and we are working to tell my other children (Raylene knows as well, we no longer have any secrets between us). I have also taken the large step of telling Human Resources and my companies CEO as well. And they are standing by me and fully support me every step of the way.
I have also made the decision of returning the ford focus to you, one its too expensive to pay off and I plan to get a cheap runaround to get me by. So I am getting the car detailed and left it parked in the visitors section and Nadeen has the keys. I know that you will never accept me as I am, and that you feel I am making the biggest mistake of my life. And that I shouldn't do this at all. But I know for definite that I am making the right decision and moving forward with my life.
Please don't come to my house to have an argument about this, or anything else. I have taken the opportunity to also change my cell phone number and leave all the family chats and shut down all my old online profiles. For the time being, lets keep communication between us in letters.
Its time to live the truth and be the real me.
Your loving daughter forever
Veronica
this is my first draft and i have till the end of October to have it finalised. right now i am happy with the way its written.. tho i will happily take any criticism. please note, there is no way i can do this face to face. i know its fairly long.. but i aint no spring chook and responding to my recent bday letter in part in it as well.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I have spent a lot of time and wondered how to write this letter. It is the single most difficult, soul searching thing I have ever done my entire life. Opening up to both of you, after decades of keeping the real important parts of me hidden (my inner struggles and my personal battles) all my life is so hard. I am too used to standing on my own, using my own strength and will power. I considered hand writing this letter, but then who the heck would actually be able to read my cursive hand writing? Certainly not me, I can never read my hand writing. I think it's time to be honest, as I feel that keeping truth has hurt the relationship between us and continues to put a strain on it. Why a letter? Well it gives you time to read this at your own time and hopefully gives you time to understand me your child a little more.
Please, please understand this has nothing to do with your parenting skills whatsoever. You have both been wonderful parents to me. You have given me strength, courage and the tenacity to stand no matter the storm. You have given me many pearls of wisdom, and wonderful words that has kept me going all my life. You have introduced me to the love of music, the piano, the wonders of God and our universe. The most important thing ever was the Bible and God, its only thing that has sustained me (your love not withstanding) growing up. It's helped me weather storm after storm and is the back bone on which I stand. I have had an amazing childhood and done things that others can only dream off and admire, many simply struggle to believe it all. You have given up so much for your children, I have always stood in awe of the things you have done and sacrificed for your children.
All my life I have done my best to do things that please both of you. Done what's expected, folded under pressure as it was easier to keep the status quo and the peace. And overtime I lost who I was and was just doing and being what everyone expected of me. I lost all hope in life, hope in future, I lost myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. It was easier than facing the truth, just to coast thru it all. Its one of reasons I continued smoking was to simply end it all taking it all with me to the grave. To live a miserable life and hating every moment of it was just how it was, my lot in the universe to live in constant pain, hating every moment.
Growing up before going to boarding school, I simply thought myself as me, I knew inside I was different. I simply didn't know what was different, I simply latched onto the idea it was because we were Christians and that is what was different between me and others. I simply considered myself me.. Nothing truly special. Please don't take this next bit as your fault, its important to understand nothing you did is the cause.. Absolutely nothing in the world would of changed it, I was born this way. Mom, Dad truly please believe me.
It wasn't till I was in boarding school and I told my friend steward (or was his name Steven, I know it started with an S) while on holiday with him I told him what I wanted to be growing up. And that somehow spread to one person at the school. It wasn't till then that my dream got shattered. I become violently angry at the world, the unfairness of it all and I resolved to grow up and simply disappear into the world as soon as I could. I realized the impossibility of it all, buried it and it angered me even more. I resolved to never tell you what happened, as it is not your fault and I didn't want to burden you with the truth of what occurred. And I still wont, I love you too much and you were doing your best for me.
I lived in anger, easily set off, I knew I was different from everyone around me. I never understood what it was or why. Was I headed straight to hell? Did it make me an evil person? Why did everyone at school hate me? Why did no one like me? So many nights in bed as a teenager I silently cried, my dreams gave me anguish which I learned to conceal. And then I was dared by Mark and Dwane about getting my hands on an adult magazine, so I went straight to you and asked you to buy them for me to prove to them I could get any book I wanted. You also preferred total honesty rather than me hiding everything. See I spent hours in the library looking for an answer and never found one. Combing any medical book, hating myself for my dreams and hope for the future. And it wasn't till I read an article I realized the truth of myself, I finaly had a label and my search began.
Finding out the truth about myself was a Godsend, and I became even more determined to do my best and simply at age 18 vanish into society and begin the process of discovery. And one thing led to another and we ended up in New Zealand. My life began taking on a mode of simply existing, and I slipped back into old habits and did what was expected, causing as little waves as possible. I resided to simply living a life of constant pain, anguish and hatred of myself. Am I simply destined to fail at everything? am I so ugly and unwanted? Unlovable by others?
Over the course of my life, there have been many close calls.. the only thing that stopped me, is whatever happens to the souls that send themselves home early? But despite that there were two extremely close ones where I nearly sent my soul home. The first one twenty years ago and someone grabbed me and stopped me and sent me to a shrink and I got counselling, but I was too young and the Christian counsellor totally destroyed me and I moved back home.
In my soul I knew going with Karl to Raylenes flat was a bad idea, and I knew at the alter I was making the biggest mistake of my life. But I went thru with it anyway, its what everyone expected of me and it kept the peace. And my life spiraled out of control, I tried my best to keep things together, trying to keep everyone happy and do what was expected. Failing at everything I tried. Tried to shove the pain away, it slowly began to eat me away inside of me and each die I died a little inside. And then two years ago, the pain had gotten so intense, I was soo dead inside, I came with in a foot of sending my soul home and it wasn't till someone on the platform yelled for someone else that stopped me.
That gave me pause and I made a decision to go and get help. I spent the very next weekend in Tasmania examining my life and where do I want to go from here. And the following week I decided my relationship with Raylene had to end. I knew the path I had to walk she would never agree with, and I have never truly loved her, cared for her yes, loved her no. I had to move forward with my life and be real to myself. To do something about the pain inside. To take all the lessons life has thrown me, to find myself again, to be around for the next 40 years for my children.
It was the best decision I have ever made. Over the last two years, I have found who I am and have had the best time of my life. Discovering who I am and the path I am going to walk, to work thru many issues to get on the path my life should have been on all those years ago. What did I discover all those years ago in that article (and each and everyone after I could get my hands on, every documentary I could watch)? I discovered I wasn't alone and that there was a perfect word for what I am, and its very well known word.
I am a transsexual, I know what this word means and all the ways it is used. More specifically a transwomen, or male-to-female transsexual. Its not something one wakes up one morning and decides hey this is a great idea and go thru all the pain and suffering that goes along with it. To undergo all those surgeries, and to lose ones' family. No this is something one is born too, it's not something that can be tucked away and ignored. It's not a constant pain one can simply bare just because it makes others uncomfortable and conceived as "wrong". One always loses if you try to simply ignore it and be what everyone else wants you to be. To be totally heart and soul broken each and every day of your life. To have a constant soul deep pain of existence, to feel like an accidental creation, an whoopsie daisy nature done and stuffed up.
I have been a transsexual all my life, I wanted to grow up and be a women all those years ago, the secret I told my boarding school friend. I hope and prayed every single night a miracle would occur in the night, and my disappointment each morning that it didn't. my height, my male looks all of it made it an impossible to achieve. Until two years ago when I made the decision to walk my road and start to live rather than exist. I am happier now than I have ever been, more confident in myself, more at peace with who I am.
So a year ago I made the decision to begin transitioning, to begin living as my true gender. To stop living a lie and so I began Hormone Replacement therapy and its my intention to go the whole way. I know this is hard for you, and I am not asking for you to understand what I am going thru as only those who have been thru what I have been will ever be able to understand. Please, please don't feel that is your fault, there is absolutely nothing you could of done differently that would of changed me. It is not a failure of you as a parent that caused this. I was born this way, was meant to be this way all my life. My heart and soul are at peace with my choice.
There is absolutely nothing you can say or do that will make me change my new and right course in life. I am going down this road, and I have great friends who will walk alongside me. I have even started going out in my daily life as my trueself. I love being myself and going out as the true me and its amazing not hiding who I am anymore. I won't be attending Christmas this year as the old dead me, infact I will be doing my own thing and its up to Darrian if he wants to go. Darrian also knows as well and he stands by me, and we are working to tell my other children (Raylene knows as well, we no longer have any secrets between us). I have also taken the large step of telling Human Resources and my companies CEO as well. And they are standing by me and fully support me every step of the way.
I have also made the decision of returning the ford focus to you, one its too expensive to pay off and I plan to get a cheap runaround to get me by. So I am getting the car detailed and left it parked in the visitors section and Nadeen has the keys. I know that you will never accept me as I am, and that you feel I am making the biggest mistake of my life. And that I shouldn't do this at all. But I know for definite that I am making the right decision and moving forward with my life.
Please don't come to my house to have an argument about this, or anything else. I have taken the opportunity to also change my cell phone number and leave all the family chats and shut down all my old online profiles. For the time being, lets keep communication between us in letters.
Its time to live the truth and be the real me.
Your loving daughter forever
Veronica
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: cluck1992 on September 23, 2018, 10:36:00 PM
Post by: cluck1992 on September 23, 2018, 10:36:00 PM
That is a beautiful letter!
Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: Veronica J on September 23, 2018, 11:03:21 PM
Post by: Veronica J on September 23, 2018, 11:03:21 PM
Quote from: cluck1992 on September 23, 2018, 10:36:00 PM
That is a beautiful letter!
Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
thank you.
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: DawnOday on September 23, 2018, 11:22:22 PM
Post by: DawnOday on September 23, 2018, 11:22:22 PM
Excellent. If your folks don't understand at this moment they will when they read this. Hugs
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: Veronica J on September 24, 2018, 12:11:04 AM
Post by: Veronica J on September 24, 2018, 12:11:04 AM
add this to the last paragraph.
Lastly keep my children out of this, don't bring it up with them and leave them out of this. I will protect them at all costs.
Lastly keep my children out of this, don't bring it up with them and leave them out of this. I will protect them at all costs.
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: Veronica J on September 24, 2018, 03:22:30 AM
Post by: Veronica J on September 24, 2018, 03:22:30 AM
wow, i think i need to rewrite it.. after it was read.. not succinct enough. sigh
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: cluck1992 on September 24, 2018, 06:02:13 AM
Post by: cluck1992 on September 24, 2018, 06:02:13 AM
Quote from: Veronica A on September 23, 2018, 09:47:43 PM
In my soul I knew going with Karl to Raylenes flat was a bad idea, and I knew at the alter I was making the biggest mistake of my life. But I went thru with it anyway, its what everyone expected of me and it kept the peace. And my life spiraled out of control, I tried my best to keep things together, trying to keep everyone happy and do what was expected. Failing at everything I tried. Tried to shove the pain away, it slowly began to eat me away inside of me and each die I died a little inside. And then two years ago, the pain had gotten so intense, I was soo dead inside, I came with in a foot of sending my soul home and it wasn't till someone on the platform yelled for someone else that stopped me.
Wasn't sure if you were also looking for grammar and such, but in the paragraph above you have the word die instead of day
" and each die I died a little inside."
PS- I love the Stargate Atlantis avatar!!!
Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: cluck1992 on September 24, 2018, 06:03:02 AM
Post by: cluck1992 on September 24, 2018, 06:03:02 AM
Quote from: Veronica A on September 24, 2018, 03:22:30 AMConsidering everything you're expressing, I don't think it's meant to be succinct.
wow, i think i need to rewrite it.. after it was read.. not succinct enough. sigh
Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: julia-madrid on September 24, 2018, 07:46:15 AM
Post by: julia-madrid on September 24, 2018, 07:46:15 AM
Hi Veronica
It's always massively difficult to write THE letter, and you've done a great job. Maybe consider explaining much earlier that you are trans and then give the backstory of your youth.
My only concern is that you seem to expect this to be a highly conflictive situation, and that you may be preemptively closing doors. Of course I cannot comment on the specifics of your family, but you at the start praise your parents for being great parents and then appear to be shutting them out in the final paragraphs.
I know that part of this is self protection, and it's good to have a response to possible scenarios, but consider that many parents will adapt after the initial shock and respond positively.
Good luck with this!
Julia
It's always massively difficult to write THE letter, and you've done a great job. Maybe consider explaining much earlier that you are trans and then give the backstory of your youth.
My only concern is that you seem to expect this to be a highly conflictive situation, and that you may be preemptively closing doors. Of course I cannot comment on the specifics of your family, but you at the start praise your parents for being great parents and then appear to be shutting them out in the final paragraphs.
I know that part of this is self protection, and it's good to have a response to possible scenarios, but consider that many parents will adapt after the initial shock and respond positively.
Good luck with this!
Julia
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: LizK on September 24, 2018, 08:24:14 AM
Post by: LizK on September 24, 2018, 08:24:14 AM
Great Letter..... I think your letter sets out how you feel about your life and why you made the decision you have, very well. Personally I would be wary of giving too many reason up front, as they can be used as points of argument. If you make the statement and wait for any objection/question you may find that the content of them surprises you...you know the likelihood of this this far better than I do. I wonder if giving them your reasoning upfront will simply give them points to attack. It feels as though you think they are going to be upset negatively by you telling them you are trans....again you are the best judge but maybe tell them less and wait and see what things they have issue with...you may well find that what you expect them to be upset about may not end up being what you think its going to be.
With my parents it was very weird and nothing like I thought. I pretty much thought I had every angle covered....but still it did not go the way I expected it would and their reaction was certainly not what I expected.....If I was to do it again I would say less and then react to there response but that is my family and you know yours and the best way to communicate with them
I hope it goes well
Liz
With my parents it was very weird and nothing like I thought. I pretty much thought I had every angle covered....but still it did not go the way I expected it would and their reaction was certainly not what I expected.....If I was to do it again I would say less and then react to there response but that is my family and you know yours and the best way to communicate with them
I hope it goes well
Liz
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: Veronica J on September 25, 2018, 09:41:27 PM
Post by: Veronica J on September 25, 2018, 09:41:27 PM
thanks for the responses, i have rewritten it making it far shorter and less of whats in it.
MY parents are staunchly anti LBGTQ period, and extremely religious and i fully expect them to cut ties with me when i give it to them. i just cant live a lie anymore, the constant pain and flippling backwards and forwards is like just too much. its time to move forward and grow.
ITs finally time to be me, to really start my journey and do all that i wanted to do but been too afraid.
will post the updated letter soon..
MY parents are staunchly anti LBGTQ period, and extremely religious and i fully expect them to cut ties with me when i give it to them. i just cant live a lie anymore, the constant pain and flippling backwards and forwards is like just too much. its time to move forward and grow.
ITs finally time to be me, to really start my journey and do all that i wanted to do but been too afraid.
will post the updated letter soon..
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: julia-madrid on September 26, 2018, 01:24:25 AM
Post by: julia-madrid on September 26, 2018, 01:24:25 AM
Hey Veronica
Many parents are. My father once wanted to punch a femme gay guy in the teeth just because he was at a table alongside ours in a restaurant. BUT THEY COME ROUND. Being anti-something is a fantastic posture...until it's your kid. Don't preemptively slam the doors, girl. If they get mean you can always block the calls and messages with a keystroke.
Hugs
J
QuoteMY parents are staunchly anti LBGTQ period
Many parents are. My father once wanted to punch a femme gay guy in the teeth just because he was at a table alongside ours in a restaurant. BUT THEY COME ROUND. Being anti-something is a fantastic posture...until it's your kid. Don't preemptively slam the doors, girl. If they get mean you can always block the calls and messages with a keystroke.
Hugs
J
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: Veronica J on September 26, 2018, 02:01:41 AM
Post by: Veronica J on September 26, 2018, 02:01:41 AM
Quote from: julia-madrid on September 26, 2018, 01:24:25 AM
Hey Veronica
Many parents are. My father once wanted to punch a femme gay guy in the teeth just because he was at a table alongside ours in a restaurant. BUT THEY COME ROUND. Being anti-something is a fantastic posture...until it's your kid. Don't preemptively slam the doors, girl. If they get mean you can always block the calls and messages with a keystroke.
Hugs
J
so true, i am hoping.. but right now they will never accept me for me at this time.
Title: Re: a letter to coming out to my parents, the last to find out
Post by: Kendra on September 26, 2018, 10:56:58 AM
Post by: Kendra on September 26, 2018, 10:56:58 AM
Veronica,
Sometimes the best you can do is leave the door open for someone to potentially understand later on. Learning new things makes life richer and I am not talking about money. Even some parents may take awhile to grow up, or never will.
You will be verifying which matters more to your parents: their love for a particular set of traditions and beliefs, or their love for you. My own predictions were completely wrong.
Sometimes the best you can do is leave the door open for someone to potentially understand later on. Learning new things makes life richer and I am not talking about money. Even some parents may take awhile to grow up, or never will.
You will be verifying which matters more to your parents: their love for a particular set of traditions and beliefs, or their love for you. My own predictions were completely wrong.