Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone,

I am looking for some advice and to vent a bit. So my scheduled FFS with facial team did not happen and so I moved up my breast augmentation from January to October 11th. It totally would be cheaper to do with GRS in January but I really need to do something for me, get past the mental hurdle of "so far everything is reversible". No, I need the commitment of that first permanent change both for myself and some others in my life. Plus I am really starting to get dysphoric over boobs and genitals as I am female but lack the parts.

Patience is a virtue which I have been proven not to have [emoji23]

Anyways, so I was originally scheduled to go to Dr Ley the day before thanksgiving, and my insurance covers that travel but I really didn't want to travel by myself if I can't really use my arms on the way home. So I started looking locally, and a local trans woman I know turned me on to Dr Chapin in Doylestown. He doesn't make a practice out of working with trans clients, however the practice and the consult were amazing! He and his staff spent around two hours with me, answering all my questions (I was pretty well educated by now having done my research and spoken to a half dozen surgeons), took my 3D pictures and got everything together for the insurance submission.

They showed me models of different sizes on an iPad and with VR glasses! How cool. I looked down and said "hey there! Where have you been hiding my whole life" [emoji5] They said I giggiles.

Anywho

I am 5-10, 165lb, size 8, currently wear a 34A and my midline size is apparently 415 with a 19.1 measurement. They suggested to meet my goal of healthy C but not D to look at 435, 455 and 485 but my range is 355 to 515. So based on the models, I ruled out the 455 because they are imperceptibly different from the 435 and 485. I can BARELY see a difference between the 435 and 485, with only a 0.2cm difference in projection. The difference between the 355 and 485 is 0.4cm projection, so clearly it's about fullness and not projection. That's good I guess. I go back on 10/2 for the ore-surgical consult and we will lock in a date at that point but we are targeting 10/11. The BCBS pre-certification came back last week so that's already taken care of and no worries there.

So I need help from you ladies who have done augmentation and are approximately the same size as me and got implants in this range - 455 average over a half A. Are you happy? Would you have preferred larger, smaller? What cup size did you end up in?

For opinions, here is the link to the model. This link is topless (3D model) so not safe for work. https://my.crisalix.com/services/309457/shared?locale=en#.W6i7_zmM6YY.link

So ladies, opinions?

I am over the moon and jumping out of my skin excited!

Hi Jill,

I'm afraid I'm not a great judge of these things. It's hard for me to see much difference between each picture (except the "before" of course. Considering that right now I'm 36a, I, too, would be over the moon with any of them.

What caught my attention and made me sit straight up is that your BCBS is covering it. Did you have to fight them on that or is it part of the policy? Here in Florida they consider it to be strictly cosmetic and won't cover it.

Stephanie

IBX (Independance Blue Cross Blue Shield) gender identity policy 11.02.09e (current version as of today) explicitly covers all bottom surgeries including vaginaplasty, clitoroplasty, labiaplasty, orchiectomy, penectomy as well as top surgery once 1 year hormone requirement met and assessment of "insufficient growth" by a surgeon.

Took 2 days to get the approval with no drama. Surgeon wrote a letter, included a letter from my therapist and submitted photos at -90, -45, 0, 45, 90 degrees from face on.

Unlike FFS which is considered "potentially cosmetic" and I lost all levels of appeal including external. I'm working with a few law firms on that one...

BCBS covers FFS in roughly half the states...

Quote from: jill610 on September 24, 2018, 07:48:42 AM
IBX (Independance Blue Cross Blue Shield) gender identity policy 11.02.09e (current version as of today) explicitly covers all bottom surgeries including vaginaplasty, clitoroplasty, labiaplasty, orchiectomy, penectomy as well as top surgery once 1 year hormone requirement met and assessment of "insufficient growth" by a surgeon.

Took 2 days to get the approval with no drama. Surgeon wrote a letter, included a letter from my therapist and submitted photos at -90, -45, 0, 45, 90 degrees from face on.

Unlike FFS which is considered "potentially cosmetic" and I lost all levels of appeal including external. I'm working with a few law firms on that one...

BCBS covers FFS in roughly half the states...

Thank you, Jill!

The first paragraph of one of the documents I turned up outlined the US HHS requirement that insurance companies cover transgender care. This is particularly applicable to a friend of mine whose insurance specifically excludes such care. Maybe because it's a private policy they can get away with it, but it seems to be a good thread to tug on.

I am apparently in one of those states in the "other half" that don't cover "cosmetic procedures." My policy does cover bottom surgery, but that's it. It's better than nothing, I guess.


Stephanie

I will first say that I am 48 days till surgery, but I have spent probably too much time researching and asking on this subject for about a year. I am 5'11, 167 lbs, currently a 36A. So take everything with a grain of salt...

I'd double check about recovery time between BA and GCS. I had the same dilemma, and I chose to go at the same time due to any possible issues with recovery between the two surgeries. From looking at the renderings, I like the 435, but I kinda prefer a sportier model.

Picking breasts is tough... perhaps try them out with a few of your favorite outfits to see what will "get you there". I also looked at the numbers and it was a <not allowed>, while the changes are subtle, they really do make a difference. A quarter inch in some cases makes a lot of difference when it's in the right spots.

If you're early in transition, a smaller implant will give you room to grow if you hit a growth spurt... if you're later on in transition go for the larger end of the spectrum.  Just an observation from years of strip clubs, I have noticed that a lot women seem to grow into their breast size. They get augmentations, and seem to (within a year or 2) gain the curves all over to balance them out.

Quote from: Harley Quinn on September 24, 2018, 08:32:49 AM
I will first say that I am 48 days till surgery, but I have spent probably too much time researching and asking on this subject for about a year. I am 5'11, 167 lbs, currently a 36A. So take everything with a grain of salt...

I'd double check about recovery time between BA and GCS. I had the same dilemma, and I chose to go at the same time due to any possible issues with recovery between the two surgeries. From looking at the renderings, I like the 435, but I kinda prefer a sportier model.

Picking breasts is tough... perhaps try them out with a few of your favorite outfits to see what will "get you there". I also looked at the numbers and it was a <not allowed>, while the changes are subtle, they really do make a difference. A quarter inch in some cases makes a lot of difference when it's in the right spots.

If you're early in transition, a smaller implant will give you room to grow if you hit a growth spurt... if you're later on in transition go for the larger end of the spectrum.  Just an observation from years of strip clubs, I have noticed that a lot women seem to grow into their breast size. They get augmentations, and seem to (within a year or 2) gain the curves all over to balance them out.

I was planning to do both GCS and BA at the same time in January, however did not really want the double at once recovery. It would be financially advantageous to wait until next year, but after my FFS getting canceled I have a need to do something affirming.

I have been on hormones for 18 months and my gp says I'm done with growth, since I've had no growth in 10 months. OTOH fat distribution is in full swing now and I'm developing curves yay.

Quote from: jill610 on September 24, 2018, 08:42:16 AM
I was planning to do both GCS and BA at the same time in January, however did not really want the double at once recovery. It would be financially advantageous to wait until next year, but after my FFS getting canceled I have a need to do something affirming.

I have been on hormones for 18 months and my gp says I'm done with growth, since I've had no growth in 10 months. OTOH fat distribution is in full swing now and I'm developing curves yay.

Congratulations on the progress... curves are wonderful. 😁

I wouldn't say you're done at only 18 months, but I'm no doctor. I truly understand the need to do something... for me it was hair restoration 2 years ago. A step forward is always beneficial to self esteem. Best of luck, and I'm sure you'll get plenty of great advice from the lovely ladies here.

Quote from: Harley Quinn on September 24, 2018, 10:12:59 AM
Congratulations on the progress... curves are wonderful. [emoji16]

I wouldn't say you're done at only 18 months, but I'm no doctor. I truly understand the need to do something... for me it was hair restoration 2 years ago. A step forward is always beneficial to self esteem. Best of luck, and I'm sure you'll get plenty of great advice from the lovely ladies here.

Due to a massive spike in my E that was uncontrolled for a few months, breast buds are done growing according to my doctors.

Have you considered adding rice sacks to your bra to help you get an idea of a size/weight that feels right to you?
http://www.clevelandplasticsurgery.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Rice-Test.pdf

Yes, I did not find it helpful because even 500 felt small nd my kid was like "really, all this for just that little bit?"

They have a bra with sizers you can try on, so that will be next Tuesday I guess.

Hi Jill,

I am large, you saw me at the PTWC. I had 555 cc partial below the muscle cohesive silicone Mentor implants.

I was told I would be a full C. I am a 42B/ 40C. 40 is a bit tight. I am 6'2" 176 pounds. I am happy with my implants but if I were to have a second wish I would go to 800 cc. I would want to see if there was an implant that could provide less of a gap between breasts.

Having the 555cc BA allows me to be more athletic easier and fit into more tops that are fitted to a large size in woman's and yet not be tight.

50 or 60 CC does not make much of a difference. I would go to the larger if I were to choose again.

I see my surgeon the end of October. I have a little thing to get corrected with my GCS revision. Some skin healed over and formed a very small loop that will be cut. When there I will ask if I can go larger and can she close the gap between the breasts. If I get a letter of need then my insurance will cover the second BA.

For me I wanted to be a full C and not a D and now that I see my gap I want to reduce it. Just me being overly critical of myself.

If my surgeon declines I may be off to Dr. Chapin. What hospital does he have privileges in?

Good luck in your decision. I am sure you will pick the right size :)

@Rachel

Thank you for the advice, I met another woman tonight and am also thinking larger now. I want to be "well endowed" but not huge. Seems like a fine line between the two.

Dr. Chapin operates at Doylestown Hospital, or at least that is where the pre-authorization is for.

Quote from: jill610 on September 24, 2018, 08:20:43 PM
@Rachel

Thank you for the advice, I met another woman tonight and am also thinking larger now. I want to be "well endowed" but not huge. Seems like a fine line between the two.

Dr. Chapin operates at Doylestown Hospital, or at least that is where the pre-authorization is for.

Hi Jill,
   I was worried that going bigger might move me out of some of my tops. Instead of the 470cc I originally thought,  I ended up with 640 cc. (A Double D instead of a C cup)  I stayed with the moderate profile and my clothes all still fit. If I had  gone with the higher profile, that may have changed. Sometimes I think about the higher  profile but they might have made me look more top heavy, more trans looking. I think the bigger implants helped some with the gap Rachel, but I have seen some cis women with the  same gap as I have. Mine don't look real big until my top comes off. Good luck Jill!
Moni

Moni, out of curiosity what is your band size?  I'm having the big BA consult tomorrow and am kind of curious as to what frame a moderate profile would work well on.

Colleen, hi! I really need to get to a fitting to be sure, but I am in the 38-40" range after surgery. To me it is about proportion. If you have the inverted triangle shape and are bigger up top, the higher profile might add to that top heavy appearance. I many times will now wear a slightly pads underwear to give just me a bit of confidence that I look proportional. If I had more butt and hips, I would have wanted the higher profile. My thoughts!
Moni

@Colleen_definitely

Thanks Moni, that's really helpful. I'm ina similar band range but probably have a bit more hip. I'm just afraid of getting the"refund gap"

Be up front with the doctor about your concerns. Get a sizing done. Not sure how good the computer animations are that some doctors have. Make them spend the time on you to get it right.Good luck.

@HappyMoni

I have spoken with about five surgeons and they are all recommending in the same range, though I am increasingly settling on "I'd rather be bigger than smaller" and have been hunting for pictures of women about my size to show what I want to achieve. I have asked the office to add 515 to the simulation.

I have done the rice thing and keep coming in around 500-550, which seems huge to me but maybe it's just because I'm so small now? When I go back on Tuesday for the pre-surgery consult where they will finalize the size. They said they have sizers I can put in to get a better idea of the sizes, the sim and rice bags are useful but hard to relate to.

I met with a woman last night who got the small end of the range and was my exact same presurgery measurements and I know that is smaller than I am hoping for. She got 415s and is a C, so maybe what I have in my head is really a D. I'm 34" band (right on the button), 37" bust atm.

These are all Sientra moderate plus profile with projections of 4.4 to 5.0cm in the range 355-525cc. The 435-485 are 4.6 and 4.8cm so pretty close in size and 13.2/13.4 width.

One more week till we finalize and I can't wait.

Jill,
   When I tried on the sizers, they seemed humongous to me. It is kind of a real sudden mental adjustment to go from, perhaps small, to sizable up top. The doctor and assistant kept telling me that if I was undecided between 2 sizes, go with the bigger. His point was that he saw a lot of woman wish they went bigger I guess. I will offer no opinion for you obviously, not my call. I would suggest one thing. Bring  a couple of tops that would be good at showing what you might look like on average. My first consult, I had a baggy tunic on and it was difficult to see the size and shape. I would get close to the size you want and see how those tops look. The majority of the time that people will see your boobs is when you are clothed and not when you are naked. Naked volleyball players excluded.
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on September 25, 2018, 03:56:25 PM
Jill,
   When I tried on the sizers, they seemed humongous to me. It is kind of a real sudden mental adjustment to go from, perhaps small, to sizable up top. The doctor and assistant kept telling me that if I was undecided between 2 sizes, go with the bigger. His point was that he saw a lot of woman wish they went bigger I guess. I will offer no opinion for you obviously, not my call. I would suggest one thing. Bring  a couple of tops that would be good at showing what you might look like on average. My first consult, I had a baggy tunic on and it was difficult to see the size and shape. I would get close to the size you want and see how those tops look. The majority of the time that people will see your boobs is when you are clothed and not when you are naked. Naked volleyball players excluded.
Moni

Thank you, great advice as always. Good news it my presurgery consult got moved from next week to tomorrow as I guess they had a cancellation. So I'll try the sizers then.

So I met again with the surgeon last night and we settled on 505cc high profile. There is 1mm difference in projection but 2mm in diameter which made the surgeon happier. I may still back down to the 485 because the 505 felt and looked good but some of the pictures make me look enormous. Yikes! Overall very happy with the experience so far, he has answered every question I have, walked me through what to expect and provided me with all of the prescriptions and whatnot. I am going to do the Esperel shot which I guess is a long acting anesthetic that the inject into the area to help with the pain for the first 2-3 days. It's not covered by insurance but seems to be worth the $300 if recovery is easier.

I am so excited! Ten days till Boob Day!

Congratulations! Can't wait to hear how it comes out.

Quote from: Harley Quinn on September 29, 2018, 08:19:23 AM
Congratulations! Can't wait to hear how it comes out.

Yeah me too. I'm still waffling between the 505 high profile and the 485 moderate profile. The surgeon wants the high profile because it is a small amount narrower, but it is 5mm more in projection (4.8cm vs5.1).

Trying to find photos of a 5-10 woman with 500cc high profile that went from 34a is darned near impossible.

Hi Jill,

Are you going under the muscle or over the muscle?

Reason being, I am partially under the muscle. Dr. McGinn spent 2 hours on my procedure. She had difficulty with my right muscle.

A concern Dr. McGinn had for me with 555 cc was that if I went over the muscle the prosthetic could break the newly formed stitches that was making the pocket. Even with partially under the muscle she express concern and that I be especially careful during healing.

I am a 42 band B cup. I had 555 cc mentor cohesive silicone. I had seen a bunch of woman in community that had huge implants that looked, to me, to be too big. I did not want that. Having something (rice bags) simulate breasts made me feel they were huge. After a while my breasts became just part of me and now I sometimes wonder and want larger implants. I am active so larger implants would be an issue, perhaps. When I compare myself to other woman I am average. I did ask for average sized breasts. I did get what I requested.

It has been a while since the implants and they have held up exceptionally well and I am please, albeit sometimes feel they are smallish.

I do not envy you in making the decision, it is difficult.

Quote from: jill610 on September 29, 2018, 12:59:18 PM
Yeah me too. I'm still waffling between the 505 high profile and the 485 moderate profile. The surgeon wants the high profile because it is a small amount narrower, but it is 5mm more in projection (4.8cm vs5.1).

Trying to find photos of a 5-10 woman with 500cc high profile that went from 34a is darned near impossible.

@jill610
In spite of the fact that these decisions are very important and life changing....  your surgeon has the experience in these things to make the recommendations very credible... but of course it is your body and your final wishes that matter... it is good that you are seriously researching all of this...   
I am very happy for you in this important step in your transition journey.

*****Is October 11th still your planned surgery date?

Please continue to keep us all updated...   we are you biggest fans and we will be rooting for you...
... and wishing you the best as always,

Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Thanks for the replies!

@Rachel

Yes, they are doing a dual plane so it's partially under the muscle. What I don't know is if it is type 1 or 2 where type 2 releases part of the muscle to prevent distortion when lifting the arms.

@Danniele

I have been wearing rice bags in a 34D bra that are approximately the same dimension as the implant and getting used to the size. It no longer feels huge after a few days so I am getting more comfortable with what sounds like a huge number.

I did post on real self and got a dozen or so responses from surgeons basically saying I'm in the right neighborhood size wise given my height. It's funny though, I wanted to be a C and if I go up from 34 to 36, we'll the DD becomes a C.

My surgery date changed from 10/11 to 10/8! I had the pre-surgical office visit last week and go on Wednesday for the EKG and bloodwork at the hospital.

My ex was over earlier today and did not even notice until I said something, her response was it looks normal so that's a good vote since she is so hyper critical of me.

I am getting so excited!! 7 days, 14 hours till new boobs :)

@jill610
I lead a very active lifestyle and during my 2nd year of HRT my breasts grew to a nice B cup...  now at 3 1/2 years into my HRT journey I became a C sup and I do not want any larger.   When jogging, running, exercising, hiking I definitely need a firm support sports bra to be comfortable.  I have gal friends that do these kinds of activities along with me and one of the gals has a D cup and another a DD ... and they are miserable trying to get the necessary support.   
Bigger is not always better, but of course all of that is personal choice.   
If you look too much at the NEWS about celebrities and such... it depicts an obsession with overyly big butts and overly big boobs... in my opinion, and only my opinion, that is not attractive in the least.

Do what you thing is right for yourself, you are doing due diligence with your research and experiments with boob size.  Trust your judgement and be happy, and we will be happy for you and rejoice with you.

Hugs and hugs... and well wishes....
Danielle

***NOTE: WOW, October 8th for your surgery is right around the corner... we will be eagerly following your thread for your future updates... but only when you feel comfortable posting.

Thank Danielle

I am very active but also want proportional and getting thrown off by cup size I think because of the 34 band. I'm almost 5-11 and a 34B looks tiny on me. I don't want to be huge.

My primary and endo tell me I'm done with growth due to having excessively high E back in nov/dec, like 700-900 high. So nothing for last 10 months sadly.

Oh I am soooo am over-sharer!

485cc rice in 34D sports bra

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181001/7346b96f81f38ececf57834d5c447289.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181001/2db331610eec8d9e6c570e5ebcbb1e24.jpg)

Quote from: jill610 on September 30, 2018, 07:33:05 PM
Thank Danielle

I am very active but also want proportional and getting thrown off by cup size I think because of the 34 band. I'm almost 5-11 and a 34B looks tiny on me. I don't want to be huge.

My primary and endo tell me I'm done with growth due to having excessively high E back in nov/dec, like 700-900 high. So nothing for last 10 months sadly.

Oh I am soooo am over-sharer!

485cc rice in 34D sports bra

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181001/7346b96f81f38ececf57834d5c447289.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181001/2db331610eec8d9e6c570e5ebcbb1e24.jpg)

@jill610
In my opinion the 485cc looks really right for you, proportional and all of that but of course if you feel comfortable with larger then certainly go with it.  You can see from my Avatar photo what my C cup looks like on me...  I am 5'4" tall and I am happy with how my breasts look on me and fit in my clothes.... I do not want any larger.

Remember, it is all about your choice.....  but you already know that!!!!
Thanks for being an over-sharer.   I tend to be that way also. 
We are among like-minded friends here so that is definitively OK.

Hugs and wishing you well with your choice.
Danielle

I got mine done circa 2002, so it's hard to remember exact sizes.  I was about your size back then.  I think I got 500cc and could have gone even larger for more projection.  A friend who got hers done around the same time felt the same way.  We both got scared at first of going to large, but it has been a ok.  I had a lot of pain, she had none.  Under the muscle seems to work best for us trans for a natural look.  Best of luck!!!

The 485s look nice.  It gives you a very nice profile.  I'd say go with it.  Now with rice sizers you're going to be close, but they do not take into account for projection very easily (which will change the proportions some).

So the plan right now is the 505, but since I have waffles so much, they are bringing both. I am so excited about this! I had all the pre-surgery work ups this morning and everything was clean so looks like 6:15am on Monday is when the fun begins :)

Boob day minus 4 [emoji13][emoji51][emoji23][emoji5][emoji1327]‍♀️[emoji512]

Quote from: jill610 on October 03, 2018, 11:54:45 AM
So the plan right now is the 505, but since I have waffles so much, they are bringing both. I am so excited about this! I had all the pre-surgery work ups this morning and everything was clean so looks like 6:15am on Monday is when the fun begins :)

Boob day minus 4 [emoji13][emoji51][emoji23][emoji5][emoji1327]‍♀️[emoji512]

@jill610
EXCITING NEWS!!!!   
I have started my countdown timer....  I am eager to hear from you with any anything more regarding any of this....
This is a wonderful feeling for you I am sure!!!   Monday morning won't come soon enough for you!

Thank you for keeping us all up to date.
Hugs and well wishes .....
Danielle

Just got the call from the hospital! 615am tomorrow the boob installation process begins! [emoji51][emoji5][emoji13]❤️❤️

Quote from: jill610 on October 07, 2018, 06:34:42 PM
Just got the call from the hospital! 615am tomorrow the boob installation process begins! [emoji51][emoji5][emoji13]❤️❤️

@jill610
Ya-Hoo  I am so very happy for you.
We are rooting for you.
I will be eagerly looking for your updates as you feel comfortable posting.

Hugs and hugs and wishing you well,
Danielle

The Bloodhound Gang said it best: Hooray For Boobies

Good luck Jill.

All my best Jill.  I think no matter the size you end up with that you'll be happy.  Sleep well tonight.
Judi

I'm on my way home from the hospital and I'm a lot of pain in the upper pole area but happy with the size so far.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181008/b083f4f975fa68e65d21464b974fc423.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181008/5170e53ff7cf161c04d21f9afaf0392f.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181008/88d7144c9f9cbe9a39aa16e5672338f0.jpg)

Quote from: jill610 on October 08, 2018, 04:23:33 PM
I'm on my way home from the hospital and I'm a lot of pain in the upper pole area but happy with the size so far.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181008/b083f4f975fa68e65d21464b974fc423.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181008/5170e53ff7cf161c04d21f9afaf0392f.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181008/88d7144c9f9cbe9a39aa16e5672338f0.jpg)

@jill610
Dear Jill:
Thank you for keeping your fans updated with your recent post surgery pictures and good report.
Obviously it is a little too early to judge the final size but I think that you chose wisely... not too small and not too big.   
I will be looking forward to seeing more pictures and updates as you continue your healing process.
I can imagine that you are on cloud nine and very happy to have checked this off of your transition things to do list.

Oh, and congratualations, on your last picture in the set of 3 that you posted.... is that cleavage that I see!!!!
Wonderful indeed.

Hugs,
Danielle

@jill610
Dear Jill:
And a comment regarding your pictures of you in your car.... that darn seat-belt across the chest.... in some cars it can be very uncomfortable to get it positioned comfortably... and some seat-belt tensioners are just too tight, it must have been designed that way by a man!!!!
Hugs and happy healing.
Danielle

I think I am going to try and update this thread for the next week with information that I had a tough time finding when I was researching this.

I did run into some interesting things along the way while interviewing surgeons. But first,

Day 1

Or rather night1 I guess. I got home yesterday from the hospital at around 6 or 630, making what I expected to be a 5-6 hour day into a 12 hour day. I did not have issues with the anesthesia, but it did take me 3 hours after they were ready to discharge me to be able to empty my rather full bladder. That was not fun but I slept most of it away quite comfortably in the corner bed with an actual window to the outside world. So I could see the rain.

I slept most of the evening on the couch but in the middle of the night got a massive case of munchies since I had not eaten since like 5pm the previous day. My mom made me a bowl of soup since I can not reach the stove or microwave.

Pain is pretty much straight across the top of my chest from shoulder to shoulder mostly where the top of the implants are. The rest of my new boobs are still numb from the exparel they injected, a long acting anesthetic.

The boulders are sitting very high but I assume over the next few weeks will settle into their permanent homes.

I have been doing a good job of not using my arms, though you don't realize how connected everything is until your chest hurts from using core muscles to get out of bed. 

Now time for another vicadin and more sleep.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181009/60f73e1eb1bc269fee6a4af0f4ab41a8.jpg)

@jill610
Dear Jill:
Thanks for your update, even though it is obvious that you are in much discomfort and suffering from lack of sleep.
Looking at your photo just about made me cry for you.
 
I am glad that your mom is there to fix some soup for you to eat and to help you during your initial healing time at home...  soups and caring moms are always a good remedy for almost any ailment.

Stay in bed for as long as you can and try to get some much needed sleep.
Update when you feel that you are ready.
Hugs,
Danielle

Oh you look so uncomfortable.  You will only get better from here on.  Thank you for keeping us informed of your progress.  It is much appreciated.  Rest well.

All my best, Judi

Quote from: jill610 on October 09, 2018, 05:01:50 AM

I have been doing a good job of not using my arms, though you don't realize how connected everything is until your chest hurts from using core muscles to get out of bed. 

aint that the truth, i have scoliosis and when i pull back muscles.. holy hell, and not to mention under heavy stress i a get muscle spasms so bad i have apparently bruised my ribs???? nothing like yours tho.. but lifting and doing things is such a pain litterally.. i am watching this thread for when i have my ba gives me an idea what to look out for... :) and what to plan to make it thru the first two weeks.

Hi Jill, just rest for 3 days and do not lift anything. Move carefully in and out of bed and take your meds. In 5 days you will be much better. Temporary pain for long lasting benefit.

Congratulations :)

So ended up I er today with urinary retention and a catheter.

I have never been so humiliated

Quote from: jill610 on October 09, 2018, 07:13:12 PM
So ended up I er today with urinary retention and a catheter.

I have never been so humiliated

oh bugger , zen huggs from us here at susans.

Congratulations on the cleavage!

Bummer about the complications. I hope things turn for the better.

Quote from: jill610 on October 09, 2018, 07:13:12 PM
So ended up I er today with urinary retention and a catheter.

I have never been so humiliated

@jill610
Dear Jill:
Please do not fret... medical people have seen it all.

Plus, when it is all said and done... and you are fully healed, you will look at your new breasts, see them fit properly into women's clothing ... and see how beautiful you look and the confidence that you have gained..... 
... it will all be worth it... you will soon forget about the difficulties and humiliation... and it will be replaced with joy and jubilation!!!!!
Hang in there girl.... the best days are ahead of you.
Thanks for sharing your story on the Forums.

Hugs and well wishes to you.  Heal fast!!!
Danielle

Ouch, that sounds miserable.  Sorry to hear.

However Danielle is right, a trans woman with a fresh boob job might be slightly out of the norm but hardly the strangest thing they've seen that day in the average ER.  Some of the stories my girlfriend has from years of nursing are pretty wild.

Not that it makes this less awkward or even degrading, but at least you don't have to worry about being the talk of the nurse's lounge.

Thank you ladies,

I seem to be on the mend today to a large degree but still on the muscle relaxants and a reduced dose of the vicadin. I seem to have regained most of my range of motion in my arms but not a lot more strength. Enough that I can open the car door unassisted which I could not do even this morning.

With the ER, I will say first that the staff was very respectful. The humiliation is a combination of in my head - I do not acknowledge that part, touch it or whatnot so to have someone shove a tube the size of a garden hose up there very painfully was a pretty hard mental concept. And add to that the shift from she to he when the discovery I have no uterus was made was stark, plus my parents use of male pronouns.

Now interestingly, involving my parents as much as I did as part of my core support team may be helping them as they see the effect of pronouns in how I am treated and my mental health. Their consistency has improved dramatically.

Now on to the fun stuff

It's not pretty yet, bruising is starting to show up and they still look like balloons pasted to my chest. I got big implants and fully expect to see a 34D or DD and am happy with that because I'm small in diameter but wide in the shoulders.

I did need help taking the surgical bra off and getting it back in, and plan to take a shower in the morning. The sutures are subcutaneous with clue on the skin which he said not to scrub off. I have my post of visit on Monday and expect I will be doing very well by then.

Now hopefully I can make it to the pa women's conference Friday otherwise doing it on Monday instead of today was a waste, however interestingly enough now my dad says that anyone who doesn't see a girl is blind and an idiot.

I did go to my weekly speech therapy session today which was way overdoing it but necessary to start getting back into things. Plus more bonding time with the rents. And my dad, at almost 70 and with early onset Alzheimer's still got me my favorite halo too.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181011/cccb32cb53d4d5a99e42d8d51d3b584e.heic)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181011/e8a67058f249dac8aa0ed6c719b8d459.heic)

Ohhh, that looks delicious!  Yummy!

Sounds like you're making progress on all fronts, healing and with your folks.  Good observation by Dad.  He seeing what we see.

Judi

Oh that's a great choice. Hope things continue to improve.

Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on October 10, 2018, 09:51:56 PM
Ohhh, that looks delicious!  Yummy!

Sounds like you're making progress on all fronts, healing and with your folks.  Good observation by Dad.  He seeing what we see.

Judi

yup, agreed so once the pain goes away a new profile pic ? i find it hard to consolidate the two pics, i am like is that the same person??? no way!! all i see is an amazing lady... wow i can only hope my results are halfway near yours i would be ecstatic. I guess I get to see the chance after my makeover in December. also making plans to see an artist for makeup lessons :) my ex wondered when i was getting my BA?, which only made me giggle like err at least 1 year away. like we get along well now that we are in two different countries and speak on the phone, in person we are nice to each other..better over the phone. . excited for you.

yup just confirmed, even my son (who is 16 and supports me all the way) says "Really the same person? like for real? that is amazing transformation."

so thumbs up from Australia :)

Ps i never lie to my kids (i may tell them from time to time to wait till this age and ask me.. and boy do they do that on their birthday.. come right at me with the question (like i forgot all about it, floors me everytime). I did this so they can always trust what i say and do.. lying just a waste of time and trust. while kids may not understand everything they will file it away till a later date when they do..), and well the computer is in the common area... we both sneak a peak what each does on the computer.. lol

Wow thank you for the amazing compliments!

Got the catheter out this morning though they threatened to put it back in. Apparently with the effects of hormones in the prostate it is possible that putting a normal size catheter in could have caused damage, but all seems to be working again albeit with some pain.

Reduced the dose of the narcotics today but still was pretty wobbly most of the day. Tomorrow I am going to the PA Conference for Women in Philadelphia which is going to be a very long day. I have a friend going who's job is to make sure I stay alive the whole day!

Overall I am very happy with my decision however still look like these balloons pasted to my chest. I cannot wait to see how things settle in when they fall.

I did try to replace the surgical bra with a 34D sports bra and yeah, still too swollen for that. I'm totally overdoing it but the way I look at it is sleep can wait till I'm dead and until then I gotta live. Though the the moment maybe living with a little more numbness wouldn't be a bad thing!!

Quote from: jill610 on October 11, 2018, 04:22:23 PM
Wow thank you for the amazing compliments!

Got the catheter out this morning though they threatened to put it back in. Apparently with the effects of hormones in the prostate it is possible that putting a normal size catheter in could have caused damage, but all seems to be working again albeit with some pain.

Reduced the dose of the narcotics today but still was pretty wobbly most of the day. Tomorrow I am going to the PA Conference for Women in Philadelphia which is going to be a very long day. I have a friend going who's job is to make sure I stay alive the whole day!

Overall I am very happy with my decision however still look like these balloons pasted to my chest. I cannot wait to see how things settle in when they fall.

I did try to replace the surgical bra with a 34D sports bra and yeah, still too swollen for that. I'm totally overdoing it but the way I look at it is sleep can wait till I'm dead and until then I gotta live. Though the the moment maybe living with a little more numbness wouldn't be a bad thing!!

follow the surgeons directions and i think you will be better off. take it easy kk.

Quote from: jill610 on October 11, 2018, 04:22:23 PM
Wow thank you for the amazing compliments!

Got the catheter out this morning though they threatened to put it back in. Apparently with the effects of hormones in the prostate it is possible that putting a normal size catheter in could have caused damage, but all seems to be working again albeit with some pain.

Reduced the dose of the narcotics today but still was pretty wobbly most of the day. Tomorrow I am going to the PA Conference for Women in Philadelphia which is going to be a very long day. I have a friend going who's job is to make sure I stay alive the whole day!

Overall I am very happy with my decision however still look like these balloons pasted to my chest. I cannot wait to see how things settle in when they fall.

I did try to replace the surgical bra with a 34D sports bra and yeah, still too swollen for that. I'm totally overdoing it but the way I look at it is sleep can wait till I'm dead and until then I gotta live. Though the the moment maybe living with a little more numbness wouldn't be a bad thing!!

@jill610
Dear Jill: 
All in all, a fairly good report...
...hmmm, I am wondering (and concerned for you) ... do you think it is wise to travel to attend the all day conference while you are still in the initial stages of healing? ???   Obviously that is yours and your doctor's call but I was a little taken back when I read of your plans this soon after your surgery, the pain pills, the catheter, etc, etc.

You and your followers are certainly eager for your continued healing and well-being.... when you get all healed up properly it will nice to see a picture of you in a top or a dress that is filled out properly with your very own girls.

I am so happy for you.  If you do go to the conference, have your friend with you at all times,  have some extra meds with you and at any point if you do not feel right, get to a comfy chair or sofa and rest up... then perhaps plan on going home to your own bed.

Hugs and as always, well wishes to you and your new girls.
Danielle

I did get the dr clearance to go as long as I wasn't the one driving :)

So I paid for a friend to go and she has been a godsend but I am so super happy to make it. Not even a second or sideways glance now though I feel ginormous. Going from like nothing to a very swollen D or DD is a big change!

My self confidence is certainly getting a boost that's for sure.

Of course my ex is at the same conference and keeps texting me lol. Not sure I'm ready to be her girlfriend just yet.

Quote from: jill610 on October 12, 2018, 02:06:35 PM
I did get the dr clearance to go as long as I wasn't the one driving :)

So I paid for a friend to go and she has been a godsend but I am so super happy to make it. Not even a second or sideways glance now though I feel ginormous. Going from like nothing to a very swollen D or DD is a big change!

My self confidence is certainly getting a boost that's for sure.

Of course my ex is at the same conference and keeps texting me lol. Not sure I'm ready to be her girlfriend just yet.

good for you, and for the record i am super jealous big time, tho for the record i am like super close to an A after 13months (from near flat) soo things are looking up, getting hard to be stealth male mode.. lol.. yeah i wouldn't either with your ex..

Quote from: Veronica A on October 12, 2018, 02:37:18 PM
good for you, and for the record i am super jealous big time, tho for the record i am like super close to an A after 13months (from near flat) soo things are looking up, getting hard to be stealth male mode.. lol.. yeah i wouldn't either with your ex..

I was 34 band / 36" bust which would measure to be a B but without the fullness really was not even an A. A sports bra can't quite hide it completely but close enough if needed. This was the last week I played guy.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181013/13288373cfd4fac4fc81341b7dfcb675.jpg)

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181013/f2f716802d31949f0330eceb4064d1c2.png)

Quote from: jill610 on October 12, 2018, 09:38:15 PM
I was 34 band / 36" bust which would measure to be a B but without the fullness really was not even an A. A sports bra can't quite hide it completely but close enough if needed. This was the last week I played guy.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181013/13288373cfd4fac4fc81341b7dfcb675.jpg)

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181013/f2f716802d31949f0330eceb4064d1c2.png)

ah ok, i get the same with a compression sports bra, sort of hides them.. but if i wear a different top they stand out.. still happy for you and tad jealous :) i cant wait for FFS and then a few months later my BA.. like seems soo far away, but prob way close too.. sigh...

Well tomorrow will be one week and I am still in a lot of pain, I think the exparel has completely worn off at this point. I go in tomorrow morning for my post op checkup and expect the surgeon to say everything is good.

I did notice a little weeping on one of the incisions but am chalking that up to the glue starting to wear off.

The implants are still sitting very high on my chest though they seem to be starting to drop a little, though the swelling is still very significant. I was able to get my 34D under armor sports bra on yesterday for a few hours but then swelling seemed to go up. Today I was able to get a different surgical bra on that I had bought that was a little smaller than the one the dr gave me, which is an XL and so it is really quite big on me.

Took my kids to a friends birthday party today and I think overdid it a bit and ended up sleeping for several hours on the couch later in the day.

So the one week visit with the surgeon was on Monday and everything seems to be looking really good, got the OK to go to a normal bra as long as it is not an underwire. I was advised to "not buy expensive" bras until the 6 month mark since they will basically be trashed. Still haven't picked one up.

Range of motion is pretty close to 100% though stretching up hurts the incisions. No exercise of any sort for the next week.

Seem to be starting to drop and the swelling is noticeably decreased in the upper chest though the skin is still drum tight and the muscles ache, especially when I first get up in the morning.

Very happy with the outcome!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/64affac8dcdbafc124f260fcbd6c3a73.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/51b333179c35f6c681cfc8e8023a2cc3.jpg)

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/81a7e6a916b10c1e86d74ef7b42feef7.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/d3cabba9ede57bcc9e6f60e0d2df7d4a.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/7006099c14b1a0702a2c3e9692b2e887.jpg)

You look great Jill.  Your smile says it all!

Judi

Well that's pretty fantastic news.  It makes me dread mine a little less for sure.

Quote from: jill610 on October 19, 2018, 10:12:57 PM
So the one week visit with the surgeon was on Monday and everything seems to be looking really good, got the OK to go to a normal bra as long as it is not an underwire. I was advised to "not buy expensive" bras until the 6 month mark since they will basically be trashed. Still haven't picked one up.

Range of motion is pretty close to 100% though stretching up hurts the incisions. No exercise of any sort for the next week.

Seem to be starting to drop and the swelling is noticeably decreased in the upper chest though the skin is still drum tight and the muscles ache, especially when I first get up in the morning.

Very happy with the outcome!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/64affac8dcdbafc124f260fcbd6c3a73.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/51b333179c35f6c681cfc8e8023a2cc3.jpg)

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/81a7e6a916b10c1e86d74ef7b42feef7.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/d3cabba9ede57bcc9e6f60e0d2df7d4a.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/7006099c14b1a0702a2c3e9692b2e887.jpg)

Wow Jill! Your smile says it all. You look very happy with your BA. I think it's time to change your avatar with one of these new pictures.

Hugs,
Donica.

Jill, reading this and seeing your great smile just made me smile.  You're rockin it, moving forward with life and what a great result.  And your car's shoulder belts fit differently now.  ;)

Quote from: Donica on October 20, 2018, 09:49:31 AM
Wow Jill! Your smile says it all. You look very happy with your BA. I think it's time to change your avatar with one of these new pictures.

Hugs,
Donica.

yeah, i reckon as well :) you look soo happy.. me a little envious:) amazing changes for you.

Thank you Kendra and Veronica! Took my son down to Baltimore Aquarium today for his 9th birthday (which involves navigating local traffic for two hours around a MARATHON that had no detours) and cannot recall getting misgendered or being happier.

Still a lot of pain... especially after my five year old daughter head-butted me in the boob. Oooooooh way worse pain than before the implants. Still healing and super sensitive.

Quote from: jill610 on October 20, 2018, 09:59:50 PM
Thank you Kendra and Veronica! Took my son down to Baltimore Aquarium today for his 9th birthday (which involves navigating local traffic for two hours around a MARATHON that had no detours) and cannot recall getting misgendered or being happier.

Still a lot of pain... especially after my five year old daughter head-butted me in the boob. Oooooooh way worse pain than before the implants. Still healing and super sensitive.

ouch great profile pic.. and jealous much :)