Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Veronica J on September 26, 2018, 08:31:00 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Updated Letter to my parents - well rewritten..
Post by: Veronica J on September 26, 2018, 08:31:00 PM
Post by: Veronica J on September 26, 2018, 08:31:00 PM
Hi
been thinking about how to rewrite this completely and like many hours put into it.. is it ok? i tried my best to leave the door open for them and like keep it to one A4 Page.
soo without further adieu, here it is.
ps my old thread can be deleted ..
Dear Mom and Dad,
I love you both and the last thing I want to do is disappoint you. For as far back as I can remember, I've been hiding who I am, struggled, been very unhappy and in constant pain every day of my life. The only joy of my life are my children. I love each and every one of them with no reservations what so ever, no matter what they chose in life I will love them forever.
I can no longer live a lie, I can't hide who I am or my need to be true to myself. It's time for me to move forward, to grow, its finally time to be me. To really start my journey to an amazing future. The breakdown of my marriage was the first of many steps towards freeing who I am, breaking the cycle of pain, hiding myself and being unhappy. The next greatest step is the slow transition from male to female. All my life I have been a female trapped in a male body. This was obvious to me since I was young and learned quickly to keep my secret hidden from everyone and learned to be what everyone wanted me to be, always feeling like a constant failure at everything I did.
I have taken the following steps in my transition to my true self;
I have considered all facts of my transition becoming a female, how it will impact my children and my life. I have examined the word of God and talk to Him daily. I discovered that I'm extremely comfortable with the road I am walking. This incredible journey, my soul is at peace and I am discovering happiness again, the simple joy of living as the real me. Every day my heart and soul bubbles with the excitement and rightness of my journey.
I know that you love me unconditionally and I hope I have your support in this as well. I can no longer hide, living in constant pain and dying a little every day until there is nothing but a husk of who I once was.
This is a lot to take in, remember I am still me and I'm just striving to be my real self. I ask while you think about it all, that you refrain from speaking about my transition or anything pertaining to it to my children. For that is between me, my kids and Raylene (whom I'm open with about my journey).
I have also decided to hand back the car I was paying you off and Nxxxxx has the car keys. The car has been fully detailed. All my old social media and email accounts have now been closed and for the time being I ask that contact between us be via Letter. I am more than happy to answer any questions that you may have in this manner. Should you need it, included with this letter are business cards for free counselling provided my company and I assure you completely anonymous.
Your loving Daughter,
been thinking about how to rewrite this completely and like many hours put into it.. is it ok? i tried my best to leave the door open for them and like keep it to one A4 Page.
soo without further adieu, here it is.
ps my old thread can be deleted ..
Dear Mom and Dad,
I love you both and the last thing I want to do is disappoint you. For as far back as I can remember, I've been hiding who I am, struggled, been very unhappy and in constant pain every day of my life. The only joy of my life are my children. I love each and every one of them with no reservations what so ever, no matter what they chose in life I will love them forever.
I can no longer live a lie, I can't hide who I am or my need to be true to myself. It's time for me to move forward, to grow, its finally time to be me. To really start my journey to an amazing future. The breakdown of my marriage was the first of many steps towards freeing who I am, breaking the cycle of pain, hiding myself and being unhappy. The next greatest step is the slow transition from male to female. All my life I have been a female trapped in a male body. This was obvious to me since I was young and learned quickly to keep my secret hidden from everyone and learned to be what everyone wanted me to be, always feeling like a constant failure at everything I did.
I have taken the following steps in my transition to my true self;
- Began seeing a psychologist two years ago (second time seeing one about this), who is helped me work through important things. And continues to give me ongoing support and guidance.
- Over one Year ago I began Hormone Replacement therapy with a Doctor who specialises in Hormone Replacement Therapy. And who closely monitors every aspect of my health. So far, I am as healthy as can be.
- Working with a speech therapist on improving my voice.
- Discarded 95% of my male clothing and replaced it with female clothes.
- Began taking pride in my appearance and working to be healthier, by quitting smoking and going to a for a jog
- every second morning.
- I have come out to work, thankfully have their full unconditional support.
- I have also told Rxxxxx, my children, Nxxxx, and all my close friends.
- Organised consolations with various surgeons.
I have considered all facts of my transition becoming a female, how it will impact my children and my life. I have examined the word of God and talk to Him daily. I discovered that I'm extremely comfortable with the road I am walking. This incredible journey, my soul is at peace and I am discovering happiness again, the simple joy of living as the real me. Every day my heart and soul bubbles with the excitement and rightness of my journey.
I know that you love me unconditionally and I hope I have your support in this as well. I can no longer hide, living in constant pain and dying a little every day until there is nothing but a husk of who I once was.
This is a lot to take in, remember I am still me and I'm just striving to be my real self. I ask while you think about it all, that you refrain from speaking about my transition or anything pertaining to it to my children. For that is between me, my kids and Raylene (whom I'm open with about my journey).
I have also decided to hand back the car I was paying you off and Nxxxxx has the car keys. The car has been fully detailed. All my old social media and email accounts have now been closed and for the time being I ask that contact between us be via Letter. I am more than happy to answer any questions that you may have in this manner. Should you need it, included with this letter are business cards for free counselling provided my company and I assure you completely anonymous.
Your loving Daughter,
Title: Re: Updated Letter to my parents - well rewritten..
Post by: KathyLauren on September 27, 2018, 06:35:27 AM
Post by: KathyLauren on September 27, 2018, 06:35:27 AM
Veronica, that letter is indeed "well-rewritten". It is clear and concise. Well done!
Title: Re: Updated Letter to my parents - well rewritten..
Post by: Veronica J on September 27, 2018, 06:36:49 AM
Post by: Veronica J on September 27, 2018, 06:36:49 AM
Quote from: KathyLauren on September 27, 2018, 06:35:27 AM
Veronica, that letter is indeed "well-rewritten". It is clear and concise. Well done!
Thank you :)
Title: Re: Updated Letter to my parents - well rewritten..
Post by: Veronica J on November 02, 2018, 06:30:35 PM
Post by: Veronica J on November 02, 2018, 06:30:35 PM
Hi,
Well with a tummy full of nervousness, went to MacDonalds before my parents went away with the rest of the family. after that my son and i dropped the car off at their house and placed the keys in an envelope and the letter in its own and dropped them in their letter box. so its officially done.
they will be back on Wednesday, so the crapola will hit the fan then.. gulp.
will let you know how it goes..
later peoples..
Well with a tummy full of nervousness, went to MacDonalds before my parents went away with the rest of the family. after that my son and i dropped the car off at their house and placed the keys in an envelope and the letter in its own and dropped them in their letter box. so its officially done.
they will be back on Wednesday, so the crapola will hit the fan then.. gulp.
will let you know how it goes..
later peoples..
Title: Re: Updated Letter to my parents - well rewritten..
Post by: Jessica_Rose on November 02, 2018, 07:24:01 PM
Post by: Jessica_Rose on November 02, 2018, 07:24:01 PM
Quote from: Veronica A on November 02, 2018, 06:30:35 PM
Hi,
Well with a tummy full of nervousness, went to MacDonalds before my parents went away with the rest of the family. after that my son and i dropped the car off at their house and placed the keys in an envelope and the letter in its own and dropped them in their letter box. so its officially done.
they will be back on Wednesday, so the crapola will hit the fan then.. gulp.
will let you know how it goes..
later peoples..
Veronica, many of us have been in the same place you are right now. Waiting, and not knowing what lies ahead. Your letter is well-written, and it does a fantastic job explaining what has been going on in your life. No matter what we think we know about our parents, we simply can't know how they will react to this. I was 99% certain my dad would never want to see me again, and my sister-in-law was 100% sure. Happily, both of us were wrong. You have taken a giant step towards becoming who you were meant to be, and regardless of their decision you know the right path to take for your own happiness. We all wish you the best of luck, and I will keep you in my thoughts.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Title: Re: Updated Letter to my parents - well rewritten..
Post by: sarahc on November 02, 2018, 07:37:16 PM
Post by: sarahc on November 02, 2018, 07:37:16 PM
I just gave my letter to my mom this past weekend. The flow of my letter was very similar to yours. And I emphasized the "didn't want to disappoint you" point time and again. The only difference is I hedged and said I hadn't made a decision to transition, which was intentional, because I felt like if I told her, I wouldn't get honest feedback.
Unfortunately, my mom did not take the news well and she discouraged me from transitioning, so I got the honest feedback. But still TBD on what our relationship will be going forward when I tell her I am in fact going to transition. I think it's going to be pretty rough.
Unfortunately, my mom did not take the news well and she discouraged me from transitioning, so I got the honest feedback. But still TBD on what our relationship will be going forward when I tell her I am in fact going to transition. I think it's going to be pretty rough.
Title: Re: Updated Letter to my parents - well rewritten..
Post by: Veronica J on November 02, 2018, 10:48:46 PM
Post by: Veronica J on November 02, 2018, 10:48:46 PM
Quote from: sarahc on November 02, 2018, 07:37:16 PM
I just gave my letter to my mom this past weekend. The flow of my letter was very similar to yours. And I emphasized the "didn't want to disappoint you" point time and again. The only difference is I hedged and said I hadn't made a decision to transition, which was intentional, because I felt like if I told her, I wouldn't get honest feedback.
Unfortunately, my mom did not take the news well and she discouraged me from transitioning, so I got the honest feedback. But still TBD on what our relationship will be going forward when I tell her I am in fact going to transition. I think it's going to be pretty rough.
I think i have a fair idea how it will go, based on the anti-trans setinment when ever Cailtlyn or any trans related stuff was on tv. its evil and in my day we would of ....... etc etc. so not being hopefull..
mega hugs tho.. after sending it, my name has new meaning to me and feels even right more then before
QuoteTrue image; honest image. Biblical - from the maiden who handed Christ her handkerchief on the way to Calvary
Veronica