Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I want to medically transition but I'm scared I won't be allowed to. I have some sort of dysphoria and mental health problems alongside it (low self-esteem, anxiety, history of self-harm and abuse, suicidal thoughts, blah blah blah) but these two are unrelated. The mental health issues are not stemming from the dysphoria, the dysphoria just makes them worse because I have more things to worry about.
Before I realised I was trans and my dysphoria got worse, I was taking low-dose SSRI medication for a while and it lifted my mood. This makes it look like I only have a Seratonin problem and not a dysphoria problem but I'm pretty sure I have two at the same time and there is just little correlation between them. I think this is unusual cause most trans people develop mental health issues as a result of their dysphoria. I'm scared I won't be allowed to medically transition and no one is going to take me seriously because if medication helped me in the past then I probably don't have dysphoria.

Meanwhile I flinch just from thinking about growing up to live as my assigned gender. I can't imagine myself in adulthood still being a woman? If that happens I will be an empty shell of a human being and not really me. All goals in terms of the person I am are around being a guy...

Any thoughts? Advice?

You should talk to a therapist to help you untangle your multiple issues.  It may be tempting to go to a generic therapist, but I would strongly reccomend one who specializes in gender issues.  With multiple mental health issues to investigate, a therapist who does not specialize in gender issues might overlook the dysphoria.  A gender therapist will look at your dysphoria and will also investigate the other issues to see if they are related or separate. 

Don't be too quick to assume that they are not related.  They could be related, and only a professional will be able to determine that.

Actually, you sound pretty normal to me. That is, normal for someone with gender dysphoria, which most all of us have to one degree or another.

The behaviors your mentioned have all been on my mind since early childhood and continued until transition. The only difference between you and me is that I did not act out any of the destructive behaviors, we all deal with.

A good therapist with experience counselling people with gender dysphoria is most important. Possibly, with just counselling, you may be able to reduce or completely eliminate any medications used to treat unsociable behavior.

If transition is in your future, keep one thing in mind, transition only changes your outward physical self, which hopefully will more closely align with your inner sense of being. This is a huge relief for many of us, but we also must plan for a life after transition. Just what kind of dude do you want to become and do you have a plan to get there?

Again, only a trained Psychologist can properly diagnose your condition.

Hi wiktor,

I was diagnosed with major depression, severe social anxiety and gender dysphoria all at the same time. To start with I was seeing a psychologist that didn't specialize in gender issues, she was very helpful with my depression and anxiety but I needed to go see somone else about my gender dysphoria.

After six months, sitting on a waiting list. I finally got to see a psychiatrist who specializes in gender issues. I started HRT and have GRS scheduled in 3 months time from now. As long as you have your mental health under control a professional will still help you with your gender dysphoria in my experience.

My psychiatrist got me started on antidepressants, I was terrified it would stop me from getting GRS. I thought what path is he leading me down with the antidepressants, next he will be telling me I can't have the GRS, when I'm all drugged up. I told him I was worried this is distracting from my GRS, he said my depression and anxiety was "totally different" and it wouldn't halt my progress with my medical transition. I also told my psychologist and she said the anxiety is "pre-existing" and brushed it off as something not to worry about.

I belive Kathy and Dani have given you good advice, a gender therapist or professional who specializes in gender issues can most likely help you.

Hugs...

Edit: Typo

It shouldn't make any difference, and if it does go shopping around for doctors until you find one that gives you what you want.

Unfortunately mental health issues are really common in the trans community.

Sounds like talking to a psychiatrist at a gender clinic will help, they are aware trans people sometimes have more than one problem. You'll have to talk with one anyway, but it's advisable. Just in case your problems are intertwined, you don't want to transition wrongfully. I've seen a few trans people lately (some on here too) who found out later that their issues came from somewhere other than their gender and they'd already gone through surgery.

Hiding stuff from them isn't really advisable as they will probably pick up on it, they're trained to look for consistency/patterns in your answers and thoughts. So long as you have a clear sense of what you want and the reasons for, and can explain how the issues are unrelated, I don't see why they would prevent you.

Fixing gender issues is a long involved process that takes many years.  That is a long time to leave other problems unresolved if you insist on fixing your gender dysphoria before taking on other issues.