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Lately I've had this irrational attraction to basically anything masculine. I want to flirt with every damn person that looks my way, or does anything nice for me.  I got jealous of a girl that was a friend I had been fantasizing about.  I recognized I was starting to get an itch for intimacy a while ago and am on prep now. A girl can't be too careful.  Now however, I feel it's an emotional need too, a craving to surrender and let the love, possessiveness run free.  I don't know if this is what runs through the minds of cis women, but it's my mind now.  Before, I was always comparing myself to them, men were just a tool to get off, feeling depressed or angry.  Now it's something entirely different.

Thoughts?  Evolution?

Bari Jo

Bari Jo, honestly it might be that you are just becoming more comfortable with yourself. 

I know that in my case, breaking cultural taboo by coming out has also made me more open to my sexuality.  I currently somewhat jokingly identify as 'lesbian with a 30% chance of queer'.  I have always been attracted to women, but now realize that I don't always know what is in their briefs, and honestly, don't care.  If I have a romantic connection with someone, I can find sexual attraction as well (I'm demisexual).

This surprised me a bit, but I am more open to myself about such things than i was as a prudish pre-transition person.

I would not rule out sex with males if I were able as I have been raped, ravished and had relationships in my dreams.  Life has been at times like a romantic novel. But then I am brought back to my upbringing as a male myself by growing extremely close to ladies like Nanci and Emily who have helped my transition immensely. Without the realization of who I really am I never would have met these extremely wonderful ladies. We always hug when our appointment is over and if my day was going bad it immediately changes direction. Although I know my male female sex life is over I am still overcome with emotion and the idea of what if.

Quote from: Bari Jo on October 24, 2018, 12:04:06 PM
Lately I've had this irrational attraction to basically anything masculine. I want to flirt with every damn person that looks my way, or does anything nice for me.  I got jealous of a girl that was a friend I had been fantasizing about.  I recognized I was starting to get an itch for intimacy a while ago and am on prep now. A girl can't be too careful.  Now however, I feel it's an emotional need too, a craving to surrender and let the love, possessiveness run free.  I don't know if this is what runs through the minds of cis women, but it's my mind now.  Before, I was always comparing myself to them, men were just a tool to get off, feeling depressed or angry.  Now it's something entirely different.

Thoughts?  Evolution?

Bari Jo

It never bothered me before going without intimacy, it could have been a kind of natural response to being alone for three decades. The need did start creeping in after a year of hrt and now it is a must have. It is not entirely sexual, perhaps not even primarily sexual, but it is a need for male touch, control, desire and comfort.

I don't know what it is or where it comes from, it takes a while to even realize what is going on. I am very grateful that my boyfriend recognizes it before I do usually and takes care of it. Life gets busy and we both have things going on and neither of us have a steady desire for sex so it gets forgotten. I don't even know what I say or do that alerts him but he'll say something like, Oh the girl needs some attention. Then it hits me how much I have been craving it and kept pushing it aside. Once it is in the front of my mind it starts raging, thank god he always takes care of it shortly after. If he doesn't notice and it goes on too long I become a miserable, well you know, to be around. I hate and love when we have the time and opportunity for him to take all day about it. Kisses, touches, being held full body right out of the shower, small things that add up over the day can have me continuously tingling before he goes in for the kill.

;) Yeah, I think I understand a little of what you are going through.

I definitely feel drawn to men in a very different way than before. Prior to hrt, I would see an attractive male and be drawn to him visually. Now, I sense when a guy is interested in me somehow (not always successfully). That turns me on. If the guy is darker complexion, maybe from sun exposure, and toned/fit my attraction is greatly heightened... It's almost like nature/evolution is telling me go for the tanned and muscular/fit men. Lol I just start thinking about his rough and masculine body...

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No sure really but I do know that I certainly appreciate the physique of some men out there. I had my first guy crush when I was about 17...I never realised it was a crush but if I am honest, I felt the same way about him that I have about previous girlfriends but of course that would have meant I was gay....and even in our "liberal" home being gay would not have been the best thing...but I digress

It wasn't until some years later that I realised that I had the full blown hots for this guy I talk about but was soo deeply in the closet that I needed a map and compass to find my way out. As I have transitioned, relaxed and become myself I have also allowed myself to consider what it is I really like and want which always come back to the same...a guy, I am open to a girl but more a guy. This was very difficult for me to admit and something I have only done in the last 12 months but examining the evidence of my feelings it all points in the same direction....

I think for myself its is also about allowing my true nature to shine through. Will I ever have a relationship with a Man...not as long as I remain married....will I experiment...not as long as I remain married....is it something I would like to do....its one thing to think about something its another to act on it... :) Just my rambling thoughts

Liz

I have none of those feelings, pretty girls, yes, the more the better, but men, never!  The Chippendales could dance in front of me, i would ask them to move because I might miss a pretty girl walking by!

I always loved girls, girls and more girls, and I still do!

I haven't noticed any big changes there. The right guy, sure I'm down, but that was always a given. Still more into women than dudes.

I have always been attracted to women. The thought of being with a man disgusted me. My doctor increased my E a few days ago and last night I hap a dream about one of my male friends. He had texted me yesterday and asked if I wanted to meet for lunch because we havent had a chance to hang out lately. Anyway, I was dreaming that he was taking me from behind and I woke up in the middle of it and I had been thrusting my hips in my sleep. I was so aroused when I woke up I couldn't contain myself...  I dont know if it was the increase in E or what. But it freaked me out later.

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My attraction for men was clarified when I was having relations with a boyfriend and it just didn't seem right.  I was missing a vagina!  It was that moment when I realized what my problem truly was for years, is that I was a transgender woman.  I stopped having "gay" sex then and I don't think I will have sex with a man until I do have a vagina.  My meds haven't diminished my feminine libido a bit and fantasize that day that I do.  I do love the look and smell of a man and what they have to offer in bed.
I am a heterosexual woman at heart.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl