Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey, Sorry about my writing.

I've been taking my HRT meds for about a month and 2 weeks I've been mistaken for a women multiple times before hand but as soon as I speak then the problem occurs as it gives it away. I have started to develop a habit of just stay mute and never speaking when out even in shops to stop it from happening as it just causes pain each time.

I wanted to know if anyone has had this problem before I don't really want to stop as i can just pass as a mute girl instead. Not a healthy thing to do I believe but it helps.

Hi LaurenSparkle 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica.
I understand the hesitation to speak in public when presenting as a woman, a deeper voice is often the deal breaker when trying to pass.  I too have found that I tend to be less talkative when out and about as Jessica.  Practice, practice, practice voice training is the option I'm taking.

I see you're new here, so I'll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site. Pay attention to the site rules they can be of great help and don't forget the link highlighted red.  It has answers to questions that are commonly asked.  Then join in on a topic you find interesting and learn and share.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) Forum to tell the members about yourself.

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Welcome to Susan's Place. I transitioned long before some of the options before voice were available. You might claim you have a naturally low voice as some women do or you might suggest it's the result a medical imbalance. On the other hand, there are options to fix it. For some therapy or voice training will do the job. In my case it didn't so I after about 25 years of an unnaturally low voice, I had surgery raise the pitch.

In reality not passing because of my voice didn't really restrict my options in life. Yes, I wasn't truly stealth but it didn't matter to those around me.

Quote from: LaurenSparkle on November 07, 2018, 07:01:28 AM
Hey, Sorry about my writing.

I've been taking my HRT meds for about a month and 2 weeks I've been mistaken for a women multiple times before hand but as soon as I speak then the problem occurs as it gives it away. I have started to develop a habit of just stay mute and never speaking when out even in shops to stop it from happening as it just causes pain each time.

I wanted to know if anyone has had this problem before I don't really want to stop as i can just pass as a mute girl instead. Not a healthy thing to do I believe but it helps.

@LaurenSparkle
Dear Lauren:
    I am most pleased that you had decided to join the Susan's Place.

    I see that our lovely member and California Girl   @Jessica   has already welcomed you to Susan's Place.  Please allow me to also welcome you here.
Thank you for writing your very first posting.... other members will be along to offer their thoughts and comments in response to your specific questions and concerns..

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.

    I want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place. 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    There is information and important LINKS that  Jessica  included in her welcome message to you.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

@LaurenSparkle
Oh, and another thing Lauren,
As our member @Jessica suggested, please find your way to the  Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) and write a brief introduction post and summary about yourself so that more members here on the Susan's Place forums will be aware of your arrival and therefore you may obtain more responses and information that you might be looking for and you will be able to share with others.

Enjoy your time here on the Forums, I trust that you will find this an enjoyable and informative experience.
Best wishes to you.... and again, Welcome to Susan's Place
Danielle

I think this is the wrong approach. We've all seen the transgender girls hanging their heads, avoiding eye contact, not engaging people. I feel it's better to hold your head high, take what you want from the world. I know lots of big, tall transgirls with deep voices. They go about their business and have no problems. You get one shot at life, don't live it in shame and hiding.

Hugs, Devlyn

I kinda feel you on this. I'm a detransitioning cis woman though, but since I took testosterone my voice is very deep. I like my voice cause it's strong and very clear sounding, but it does make me insecure in public and I think it's a big reason I can't pass as a woman anymore. Sometimes I too just don't say anything, to strangers like cashiers in stores or whatever, when I just don't wanna deal with it and can get away with just nodding or whatever.

Some say my voice sounds feminine like passable despite being low, but I dunno if they're just being kind or if strangers hear me differently from people who know me. Although I do know that tone and flow are more important factors when it comes to sounding feminine. Unless you have a very deep voice, I guess. Mine is somewhere in the baritone range, or low tenor, when speaking.

I'm not sure what I'll do with my voice, if anything. But I might at some point try to make my tone and flow sound more feminine, but keep the pitch where it's at. I've watched some youtube vids about voice training but ugh I don't really get what to do. Also I've no idea what I'd want to sound like. It gets to me that I keep getting misgendered though, whether it's because of my voice or something else. Cause I don't always pass when I'm silent either.

I've on and off thought about choosing muteness, for a variety of different reasons, but ultimately I don't think it's worth it. I think I'd rather continue to not be passing than disable myself even further (as in I already have disabilities and don't need more of them.) But saying that, I do understand why someone would choose muteness, whether selective or for at all times.

Confidence helps me though. Even though I hate not passing and would rather just not deal with it. When I put on an act of being confident, I'm being treated much better. At least being respectfully misgendered is better than being gawked at for it. So yes, fake confidence works too, it doesn't have to be genuine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEGfcZhoSdY
'Crazy Rich Asians' Awkwafina Knows Her Voice Sounds Like A '58-Year-Old Divorce Attorney' | TODAY